Hello, I just found ur group. I go by the name Tess.

Snoogies56 · Oct 21, 2019

I have been struggling for quite awhile now. Im hoping u all with help me find some answers. I was married for 35 years. My husband had quite the temper. After the kids grew up and got married he became increasingly worse. He gave me names of 4 women I could go out with. One was my daughter. One was my daughter in law. If he was in his recliner watching TV with his eyes closed I had to b in that same room. I could not leave that room. Every time we got in an argument he would get his guns out. He chased me downtown with a gun in his truck terrorizing me. I told the kids and they both wanted to help me. That was in 2008. He began using the guns more and more to minipulate me. On july 9, 2016. He grabbed ahold of me and wouldn't let go. He was so close to my face as he yelled it was like venom spraying on my face. The outside world did not see this side of him. I did. To the outside world we were a very happy couple. Women he worked with wanted him to give classes to their husbands to teach them how to b a good husband like him. On July 9th when he grabbed me I had him arrested. Then the world was made known. I left him. I had the perfect place to hide. A friend from my school days is a truck driver. He is gone 21-24 days/month and home for 3. There was another woman living there as well. My husband would've never found me. My cousin told him where I was at and he showed up and threatened me. I had to get a PFA against him. He told our kids I was having and affair with the friend that left me move into his 4 bedroom house. Since 2016 my kids want nothing to do with me. I have 7 grandbabies I have not seen or held since. Im allowed no contact with them at all. It was at the point in my marriage he put a loaded gun under the mattress every night and every night he would lift that mattress up and make sure that gun was aimed directly at my head and closer to me way past the middle of the bed. I have since then been diagnosed with PTSD. I know as Christians we r not to b divorced. Here I am now a divorced woman. The man I moved into his house with? We r now a couple. Should have I stayed? Had I known Id have lost my grandbabies I would've. Will God perish me to Hell because I divorced him? I have forgiven my children, but the pain they have inflicted on me by shunning me is at times unbearable. What about my children? Will God see it as the right thing for them to do by shunning me? Is it ok by God's word for them to keep my grandbabies from seeing or knowing me? Please help me. I really am struggling. This pain and lonliness in my heart is unbearable.

Anhelyna · Oct 21, 2019

Prayers for you

Welcome to CF - I hope you will be receive the help you desperately need

musicalpilgrim · Oct 21, 2019

Snoogies56 said:
I have been struggling for quite awhile now. Im hoping u all with help me find some answers. I was married for 35 years. My husband had quite the temper. After the kids grew up and got married he became increasingly worse. He gave me names of 4 women I could go out with. One was my daughter. One was my daughter in law. If he was in his recliner watching TV with his eyes closed I had to b in that same room. I could not leave that room. Every time we got in an argument he would get his guns out. He chased me downtown with a gun in his truck terrorizing me. I told the kids and they both wanted to help me. That was in 2008. He began using the guns more and more to minipulate me. On july 9, 2016. He grabbed ahold of me and wouldn't let go. He was so close to my face as he yelled it was like venom spraying on my face. The outside world did not see this side of him. I did. To the outside world we were a very happy couple. Women he worked with wanted him to give classes to their husbands to teach them how to b a good husband like him. On July 9th when he grabbed me I had him arrested. Then the world was made known. I left him. I had the perfect place to hide. A friend from my school days is a truck driver. He is gone 21-24 days/month and home for 3. There was another woman living there as well. My husband would've never found me. My cousin told him where I was at and he showed up and threatened me. I had to get a PFA against him. He told our kids I was having and affair with the friend that left me move into his 4 bedroom house. Since 2016 my kids want nothing to do with me. I have 7 grandbabies I have not seen or held since. Im allowed no contact with them at all. It was at the point in my marriage he put a loaded gun under the mattress every night and every night he would lift that mattress up and make sure that gun was aimed directly at my head and closer to me way past the middle of the bed. I have since then been diagnosed with PTSD. I know as Christians we r not to b divorced. Here I am now a divorced woman. The man I moved into his house with? We r now a couple. Should have I stayed? Had I known Id have lost my grandbabies I would've. Will God perish me to Hell because I divorced him? I have forgiven my children, but the pain they have inflicted on me by shunning me is at times unbearable. What about my children? Will God see it as the right thing for them to do by shunning me? Is it ok by God's word for them to keep my grandbabies from seeing or knowing me? Please help me. I really am struggling. This pain and lonliness in my heart is unbearable.

I pray to the Father for you, you have been through so much.
I welcome you to the forum in Jesus name,
The prayer wall is a good place to ask for prayer and there are a lot of lovely Christians who will pray for you.
May the Lord bless you richly as you seek more of him in your life

mnorian · Oct 21, 2019

Mod hat on

this thread has been moved from
Introduce Yourself
to
Christian Advice
for a better fit and responses.
Hat off.

coffee4u · Oct 21, 2019

I am so sorry for what you went through.

Your husbands deads needed exposing.
Ephesians
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), 10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.

Understand that he was unfaithful to you. There is more than one way for a person to be unfaithful.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

I would try and reach out to your children, do they know what their father did? Do they know he threatened your life daily? Find a group, don't struggle alone.

I pray that God will give you peace and healing.

FutureAndAHope · Oct 21, 2019

Snoogies56 said:
I have been struggling for quite awhile now. Im hoping u all with help me find some answers. I was married for 35 years. My husband had quite the temper. After the kids grew up and got married he became increasingly worse. He gave me names of 4 women I could go out with. One was my daughter. One was my daughter in law. If he was in his recliner watching TV with his eyes closed I had to b in that same room. I could not leave that room. Every time we got in an argument he would get his guns out. He chased me downtown with a gun in his truck terrorizing me. I told the kids and they both wanted to help me. That was in 2008. He began using the guns more and more to minipulate me. On july 9, 2016. He grabbed ahold of me and wouldn't let go. He was so close to my face as he yelled it was like venom spraying on my face. The outside world did not see this side of him. I did. To the outside world we were a very happy couple. Women he worked with wanted him to give classes to their husbands to teach them how to b a good husband like him. On July 9th when he grabbed me I had him arrested. Then the world was made known. I left him. I had the perfect place to hide. A friend from my school days is a truck driver. He is gone 21-24 days/month and home for 3. There was another woman living there as well. My husband would've never found me. My cousin told him where I was at and he showed up and threatened me. I had to get a PFA against him. He told our kids I was having and affair with the friend that left me move into his 4 bedroom house. Since 2016 my kids want nothing to do with me. I have 7 grandbabies I have not seen or held since. Im allowed no contact with them at all. It was at the point in my marriage he put a loaded gun under the mattress every night and every night he would lift that mattress up and make sure that gun was aimed directly at my head and closer to me way past the middle of the bed. I have since then been diagnosed with PTSD. I know as Christians we r not to b divorced. Here I am now a divorced woman. The man I moved into his house with? We r now a couple. Should have I stayed? Had I known Id have lost my grandbabies I would've. Will God perish me to Hell because I divorced him? I have forgiven my children, but the pain they have inflicted on me by shunning me is at times unbearable. What about my children? Will God see it as the right thing for them to do by shunning me? Is it ok by God's word for them to keep my grandbabies from seeing or knowing me? Please help me. I really am struggling. This pain and lonliness in my heart is unbearable.

God will not punish you for your choice to divorce. In this situation your life was in constant terror, and fear. The bible calls us to peace. God wants you to have peace in your life.

Even if it was a sin in God's eyes (which I don't believe it is), God would forgive you. If you are aware of the story of David in the bible, he committed a terrible sin, by murdering a man, and taking the mans wife to be his own. God was not happy with David, yet he let him stay married to Bathsheba, and He even when they had a son together, let David know the son was loved. You were forced to make the choice you made, and for good, not evil reasons. You are certainly, have God's forgiveness.

Deade · Oct 21, 2019

Hello Tess, welcome to CF.

I also will pray for you. I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.

Emmylouwho · Oct 21, 2019

Snoogies56 said:
I have been struggling for quite awhile now. Im hoping u all with help me find some answers. I was married for 35 years. My husband had quite the temper. After the kids grew up and got married he became increasingly worse. He gave me names of 4 women I could go out with. One was my daughter. One was my daughter in law. If he was in his recliner watching TV with his eyes closed I had to b in that same room. I could not leave that room. Every time we got in an argument he would get his guns out. He chased me downtown with a gun in his truck terrorizing me. I told the kids and they both wanted to help me. That was in 2008. He began using the guns more and more to minipulate me. On july 9, 2016. He grabbed ahold of me and wouldn't let go. He was so close to my face as he yelled it was like venom spraying on my face. The outside world did not see this side of him. I did. To the outside world we were a very happy couple. Women he worked with wanted him to give classes to their husbands to teach them how to b a good husband like him. On July 9th when he grabbed me I had him arrested. Then the world was made known. I left him. I had the perfect place to hide. A friend from my school days is a truck driver. He is gone 21-24 days/month and home for 3. There was another woman living there as well. My husband would've never found me. My cousin told him where I was at and he showed up and threatened me. I had to get a PFA against him. He told our kids I was having and affair with the friend that left me move into his 4 bedroom house. Since 2016 my kids want nothing to do with me. I have 7 grandbabies I have not seen or held since. Im allowed no contact with them at all. It was at the point in my marriage he put a loaded gun under the mattress every night and every night he would lift that mattress up and make sure that gun was aimed directly at my head and closer to me way past the middle of the bed. I have since then been diagnosed with PTSD. I know as Christians we r not to b divorced. Here I am now a divorced woman. The man I moved into his house with? We r now a couple. Should have I stayed? Had I known Id have lost my grandbabies I would've. Will God perish me to Hell because I divorced him? I have forgiven my children, but the pain they have inflicted on me by shunning me is at times unbearable. What about my children? Will God see it as the right thing for them to do by shunning me? Is it ok by God's word for them to keep my grandbabies from seeing or knowing me? Please help me. I really am struggling. This pain and lonliness in my heart is unbearable.

Hi Tess, it’s a good thing you got away from your ex-husband; he could have killed you, and that would serve no one. I hope your current partner makes you happy and makes you feel safe. Do you talk to a counselor? I think it would be really helpful.

Tolworth John · Oct 22, 2019

Snoogies56 said:
I told the kids and they both wanted to help me. That was in 2008. He began using the guns more and more to minipulate me.

Snoogies56 said:
On July 9th when he grabbed me I had him arrested. Then the world was made known. I left him.

I am sorry for your abandonment by your children, that pain is deep.

May I suggest that you do two things.
1. write and remind them of what they know about their father behaviour and tell them your side of the story.
2. It will hurt but keep on sending birthday cards etc your children may have taken against you but the grandchildren will want to know about you, use facebook etc tokeep your name before them.

Lastly salvation has nothing to do with ones marital status and everything to do with ones relationship with Jesus.

RoseyViolet · Oct 22, 2019

I'm so sorry you have lived with so much pain, hurt and heartache. I'm not sure any of us have the right answers to your questions, but I know someone who does know all, cares about all and LOVES you right where you are at, Jesus. He has left us His comforter in the Holy Spirit. There is no surprises with God, go to Him, ask Him for healing and for mended relationships with your kids and a relationship with your grandchildren. Forgive your husband, not because he deserves it, none of us deserve forgiveness that God freely gives to us either. Forgive because God commands it in His word for you to begin to live in freedom that He has fashioned for you. I too come from a history of family abuse, forgiveness and laying each pain at the foot of the cross was the beginnings of healing. Cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you. Each offense, each painful event, lay it down and walk away from it leaving it to the Lord to deal with in His perfect way. Praying for you dear friend, I hope you find peace and forgiveness and healing that you are looking for.

Snoogies56 · Oct 22, 2019

Emmylouwho said:
Hi Tess, it’s a good thing you got away from your ex-husband; he could have killed you, and that would serve no one. I hope your current partner makes you happy and makes you feel safe. Do you talk to a counselor? I think it would be really helpful.

Yes I do c a counselor. I have since 2008 when my ex chased me with a gun. Thank you.

Snoogies56 · Oct 22, 2019

Thank you everyone. Please continue prayers. My life is such a mess.

LoricaLady · Oct 22, 2019

Snoogies56 said:
Yes I do c a counselor. I have since 2008 when my ex chased me with a gun. Thank you.

If you had a counselor then it seems you might have documentation from that person showing that you were having your life threatened. Maybe then at least some of your family would see more clearly what had been going on.

And you should no way have stayed. You could have so easily been murdered.

Katya123 · Nov 4, 2019

Snoogies56 said:
I have been struggling for quite awhile now. Im hoping u all with help me find some answers. I was married for 35 years. My husband had quite the temper. After the kids grew up and got married he became increasingly worse. He gave me names of 4 women I could go out with. One was my daughter. One was my daughter in law. If he was in his recliner watching TV with his eyes closed I had to b in that same room. I could not leave that room. Every time we got in an argument he would get his guns out. He chased me downtown with a gun in his truck terrorizing me. I told the kids and they both wanted to help me. That was in 2008. He began using the guns more and more to minipulate me. On july 9, 2016. He grabbed ahold of me and wouldn't let go. He was so close to my face as he yelled it was like venom spraying on my face. The outside world did not see this side of him. I did. To the outside world we were a very happy couple. Women he worked with wanted him to give classes to their husbands to teach them how to b a good husband like him. On July 9th when he grabbed me I had him arrested. Then the world was made known. I left him. I had the perfect place to hide. A friend from my school days is a truck driver. He is gone 21-24 days/month and home for 3. There was another woman living there as well. My husband would've never found me. My cousin told him where I was at and he showed up and threatened me. I had to get a PFA against him. He told our kids I was having and affair with the friend that left me move into his 4 bedroom house. Since 2016 my kids want nothing to do with me. I have 7 grandbabies I have not seen or held since. Im allowed no contact with them at all. It was at the point in my marriage he put a loaded gun under the mattress every night and every night he would lift that mattress up and make sure that gun was aimed directly at my head and closer to me way past the middle of the bed. I have since then been diagnosed with PTSD. I know as Christians we r not to b divorced. Here I am now a divorced woman. The man I moved into his house with? We r now a couple. Should have I stayed? Had I known Id have lost my grandbabies I would've. Will God perish me to Hell because I divorced him? I have forgiven my children, but the pain they have inflicted on me by shunning me is at times unbearable. What about my children? Will God see it as the right thing for them to do by shunning me? Is it ok by God's word for them to keep my grandbabies from seeing or knowing me? Please help me. I really am struggling. This pain and lonliness in my heart is unbearable.

Katya123 · Nov 4, 2019

Hi Tess, I am so very sorry that you have lived in so much pain and fear and terror for so long. God does not ask any of us to live in such horrible abuse. Not ever, for any reason!!! You were absolutely right to get away from him. God will not hold that against you! He has called us to live in peace. I pray you are finding some peace in your life now. I know your kids turning on you hast to hurt everyday. But just keep loving them. Send gifts and card especially to the grands. Pray that God will open their eyes, that the real truth will be uncovered for them and that they will see what really has happened. Our God can do amazing miracles! Put your hope in HIM. He is known for taking terrible tangled messes and bringing something good out of them! Would you consider seeing a counselor? Do you have a pastor? Sometimes they can give you a different perspective on things that can bring healing for your soul and help you to make good choices. PTSD is no laughing matter. Please take care of yourself. Sending a warm hug, my friend. Know you are so welcome on this site.

Hello, I just found ur group. I go by the name Tess.

New Member

Handmaid of God

pilgrim on the sacred music pathway

Oldbie--Eternal Optimist

Well-Known Member

Just me

Called of God

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Member

New Member

New Member

YHWH's

Active Member

Active Member

Similar threads