Losing a baby through miscarriage..My sister said God was punishing me?

Hannah66

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I think it’s time to stop trashing Sarah’s sister. Sarah has gotten the point. She’s right, her sister is wrong. We all know that. She must know that by now. If I’m not mistaken, Sarah seems to want to reconnect with her sister.
I am still friends with my sister, have forgiven her...October 15 was a reminder to this. thanks for caring. I guess, it still hurts..
 
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Emmylouwho

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Hi my friend, thank you, but it's ok. You don't need to send me gifts. Your post is enough to encourage me, thank you!! <3
I think my pr
Hi my friend, thank you, but it's ok. You don't need to send me gifts. Your post is enough to encourage me, thank you!! <3[/QUOT
I am still friends with my sister, have forgiven her...October 15 was a reminder to this. thanks for caring. I guess, it still hurts..
The gift I want to give you is a book that might help you to heal your hurts. It helped me.
 
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zoidar

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October 15. is the day for remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death which includes, miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS or the death of a newborn.

I was thinking about the only baby that I lost in miscarriage back in 2000. I still think about him/her.

My husband and I had endured long-term infertility and it had taken us two years to conceive this baby we had lost. We saw a fertility Endocrinologist who gave me some fertility drugs to help me conceive.

When I lost the baby, my older sister told me that God was punishing me for not trusting him and using fertility drugs. But they only helped me ovulate.

She never apologised to me and it does hurt me somewhat that she took this view.

We never had any living children and my marriage ended last year when my husband left me. She also was holding me accountable for my husband's actions.

We did pray and did trust God in our fertility journey but I don't think we lost our baby because God was punishing us.

What do you think?

Sorry for your loss and sorry your marriage ended like that (it's a shame if he left you for this reason). I don't see what you did was in any way a sin, or that this would be a punishment. You did what you thought was best. We pray for healing and miracles and at the same time we do what we can through medical treatment, we use stilts and bandage. Nothing wrong with that. Still we trust in God's mercy for the best in everything.

Christ love,
P
 
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PeterJames0510

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October 15. is the day for remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death which includes, miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS or the death of a newborn.

I was thinking about the only baby that I lost in miscarriage back in 2000. I still think about him/her.

My husband and I had endured long-term infertility and it had taken us two years to conceive this baby we had lost. We saw a fertility Endocrinologist who gave me some fertility drugs to help me conceive.

When I lost the baby, my older sister told me that God was punishing me for not trusting him and using fertility drugs. But they only helped me ovulate.

She never apologised to me and it does hurt me somewhat that she took this view.

We never had any living children and my marriage ended last year when my husband left me. She also was holding me accountable for my husband's actions.

We did pray and did trust God in our fertility journey but I don't think we lost our baby because God was punishing us.

What do you think?

God is not punishing you.

But I would like to ask. For your own healing and wholeness, have you ever considered naming your child? I was just curious.

Many blessings to you. :) - Peter James
 
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HopeInJesusOnly

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Thank you. Years earlier, she suffered her first miscarriage before having her son and daughter. I was the 2nd person she called. I came and took her to the hospital. Obviously she forgot I was there for her.

I am sorry to hear this. And yet, so very proud of you. This is who we should be as Christians. God bless and keep you.
 
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LoricaLady

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Who in the heck is your sister to think she is speaking for the Almighty? Has she been given the office of prophet of the Lord? In fact, it was unkind of her to say such a thing to you, and disrespectful, grossly, to presume to speak for your Heavenly Father.

Does she have a pattern of verbal abuse? If so, that is the real issue here.

I pray you will be healed from your loss.
 
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lismore

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We did pray and did trust God in our fertility journey but I don't think we lost our baby because God was punishing us.
What do you think?

Hello Hannah, I'm so sorry for your loss and sorry that there's probably nothing I can do to take the pain away.

All the punishment for our sins was laid on Jesus. God made him who knew no sin to become sin for us that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

You were not punished for sin. It's a fallen world. God Bless :)
 
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Redwingfan9

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October 15. is the day for remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death which includes, miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS or the death of a newborn.

I was thinking about the only baby that I lost in miscarriage back in 2000. I still think about him/her.

My husband and I had endured long-term infertility and it had taken us two years to conceive this baby we had lost. We saw a fertility Endocrinologist who gave me some fertility drugs to help me conceive.

When I lost the baby, my older sister told me that God was punishing me for not trusting him and using fertility drugs. But they only helped me ovulate.

She never apologised to me and it does hurt me somewhat that she took this view.

We never had any living children and my marriage ended last year when my husband left me. She also was holding me accountable for my husband's actions.

We did pray and did trust God in our fertility journey but I don't think we lost our baby because God was punishing us.

What do you think?
It's not a matter of punishment, it's God's will though. What lesson you were to learn or what God was protecting your family from is unique to you. My wife had a couple miscarriages, we don't look back on them with sadness. We recognize it was God's will and in our case he gave us children that we wouldn't have had but for the miscarriages. That's hardly punishment.
 
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Sabertooth

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But I would like to ask. For your own healing and wholeness, have you ever considered naming your child? I was just curious.
We had a miscarriage in 1992. When our third/last (living) daughter was born, God told me to give her the name that we had reserved for our fourth daughter; that the third name belonged to the child we had lost.
 
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PeterJames0510

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We had a miscarriage in 1992. When our third/last (living) daughter was born, God told me to give her the name that we had reserved for our fourth daughter; that the third name belonged to the child we had lost.

I completely understand.

But the child you lost ... is not really lost. He/she is a real person; circumstances have now made it that you could name him/her a unique name and how wonderful will it be in heaven when Jesus tells this child of yours you have never met what they will be called when you see them in glory. :)
 
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Bruce Leiter

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October 15. is the day for remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death which includes, miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS or the death of a newborn.

I was thinking about the only baby that I lost in miscarriage back in 2000. I still think about him/her.

My husband and I had endured long-term infertility and it had taken us two years to conceive this baby we had lost. We saw a fertility Endocrinologist who gave me some fertility drugs to help me conceive.

When I lost the baby, my older sister told me that God was punishing me for not trusting him and using fertility drugs. But they only helped me ovulate.

She never apologised to me and it does hurt me somewhat that she took this view.

We never had any living children and my marriage ended last year when my husband left me. She also was holding me accountable for my husband's actions.

We did pray and did trust God in our fertility journey but I don't think we lost our baby because God was punishing us.

What do you think?

Your sister took the position of Job's friends, who condemned him for "his great sin" that brought on his suffering. God condemned their preaching down at Job at the end.

She tried to read God's mind, a very dangerous thing to do. In terms of your relationship with her harsh and wrong words, you need to grieve out your stillborn's death and your feelings about your sister's insensitive words persistently by sharing them with God in prayer. The result will be God's peace so that he will help you leave her in God's hands as her just Judge. We must not take God's place by judging others.

I will put you on my daily prayer list for those matters and your divorce, which has to be a big blow to you. God allows, but doesn't cause, such sad events in our lives in order to teach us some lessons. I don't know what those are for you. I invite you to pray to him asking him what you need to learn from him.
 
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RestoreTheJoy

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Your sister doesn't know what the heck she is talking about. Forgive her, for she knows not what she does. God is not the author of sin, sickness, or death. That all came into the world because of the fall. God has restored us back to the Garden, yet we don't see it yet in the natural.

James 1:17: "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."

We live in a sinful, distorted world where sometimes bad things happen. God has your baby and you will see him again. Live well and make him proud until you do.
 
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RestoreTheJoy

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If the theology of punishment that your sister laid on you were true, then it must be applicable to anyone anywhere, including herself.
ie. God didn't make spiritual laws just so he could beat one person over the head with them.

So an interesting question to ask is, has your sister suffered any calamity, illness, work or family problems, or has everything been completely perfect all her life?
It doesn't matter how small, an ingrown toe nail, a common cold, does she need specs, has she pranged her car?
Whatever the problems in her life, according to her beliefs, they must have happened because she sinned in one way or another.

How did Jesus view such accusations.-
Jesus constantly slapped the Pharisees down because they were so fond of pointing the finger at the sin or failure in others, but invariably whitewashed over their own sin.

Its called hypocrisy.

I'm saying all this, not so you can call your sister out, but so you can quietly forgive her in your heart, cast off that yoke of bondage she laid on you, and start afresh with your life.

The enemy comes to kill steal and destroy, but Jesus came to give life and give it abundantly!
Your baby died because this world is fallen and ruled by Satan, and he loves to bring death and destruction.
James 1:17:
1At that time, some of those present told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. 2To this He replied, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered this fate? 3No, I tell you. But unless you repent, you too will all perish. 4Or those eighteen who were killed when the tower of Siloam collapsed on them: Do you think that they were more sinful than all the others living in Jerusalem? 5No, I tell you. But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”
 
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fhansen

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October 15. is the day for remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death which includes, miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS or the death of a newborn.

I was thinking about the only baby that I lost in miscarriage back in 2000. I still think about him/her.

My husband and I had endured long-term infertility and it had taken us two years to conceive this baby we had lost. We saw a fertility Endocrinologist who gave me some fertility drugs to help me conceive.

When I lost the baby, my older sister told me that God was punishing me for not trusting him and using fertility drugs. But they only helped me ovulate.

She never apologised to me and it does hurt me somewhat that she took this view.

We never had any living children and my marriage ended last year when my husband left me. She also was holding me accountable for my husband's actions.

We did pray and did trust God in our fertility journey but I don't think we lost our baby because God was punishing us.

What do you think?
Well...heck no. "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." (Matt 5:45) It's a very fragile world we live in-and we don't have ultimate control of anything. That's one of the ugliest and most condemning things I've heard, to be honest. But it's very human as well, to do what your sister did. We tend towards self-righteousness and priggishness-and looking for a way to hope the same tragedy would never befall us.
 
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ChristianGirl_96

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What a horrible disgusting thing to say!

I lost my first ever child almost five years ago, she was a stillborn. I was shocked at the time. My church community rallied round me in my time of crisis and need as well. Of course I still think about her sometimes at night. I mourned for months afterwards. Still do.

But I now strongly think suffering is part of life. In other words it is going to happen to everyone. All you can do is reflect and learn lessons from it really. God does not willingly throw us under the bus for no reason. Does he? You decide.

I learned that when I was pregnant with the twins three years ago. My son is not being unfairly punished by the Holy Spirit for being physically impaired either. Far from it. The Holy Spirit is not a monster to be feared.

Jesus wants us to experience difficult situations in life and use them to reform ourselves as much as possible. At least this is how I see it. No one can have a completely easy life either. That would be utterly boring, would it not? Life is made up of teaching moments.

We need to accept that. And use them to our advantage. Then only we can be smart people. If it makes a difference, here is a post on suffering worth reading.

Brokenness and Suffering: A Lesson From Ducklings - What Do You Do, Dear?
 
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Francis Drake

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James 1:17:
1At that time, some of those present told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. 2To this He replied, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered this fate? 3No, I tell you. But unless you repent, you too will all perish. 4Or those eighteen who were killed when the tower of Siloam collapsed on them: Do you think that they were more sinful than all the others living in Jerusalem? 5No, I tell you. But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”
I was going to add this to my post, but ran out of time.
Jesus is making it clear that you can't automatically connect calamity with some sin or other.
However because all have sinned, without repentance, punishment is due on all.
 
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