Losing a baby through miscarriage..My sister said God was punishing me?
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GingerBeer
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I am so sorry for your loss. God is definitely not punishing you for anything. We serve a loving God who only wants the best for us. Sending prayers your way.
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- Aug 3, 2014
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@Hannah66
I'm very sorry to read that, truly. I wish I could give you a hug. I cannot imagine at all what you had gone through with all that going on.
What I can tell you is this:
God loves us all both unconditionally and also conditionally - each with its own merit. He loves us all and wishes none would perish John 3:16-17
He also loves His family: John 14:15-21
God's punishments are for His children and not as a tool for tyranny. Sin is a consequence that was poured upon the world when Adam and Eve fell by disobeying God. What happened was a consequence from a long time ago - and we all suffer from it differently, but that doesn't mean God can't or won't help us. He knows how much we need Him, but we still have to go to Him for help.
I hope what your sister said to you did not make you lose your faith in God.
I'm very sorry to read that, truly. I wish I could give you a hug. I cannot imagine at all what you had gone through with all that going on.
What I can tell you is this:
God loves us all both unconditionally and also conditionally - each with its own merit. He loves us all and wishes none would perish John 3:16-17
He also loves His family: John 14:15-21
God's punishments are for His children and not as a tool for tyranny. Sin is a consequence that was poured upon the world when Adam and Eve fell by disobeying God. What happened was a consequence from a long time ago - and we all suffer from it differently, but that doesn't mean God can't or won't help us. He knows how much we need Him, but we still have to go to Him for help.
I hope what your sister said to you did not make you lose your faith in God.
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- Mar 4, 2018
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Of course it hurt you. Such an uncharitable and nasty response to a family tragedy is bound to hurt. Time will heal, and someday you will rejoice to meet this beautiful little boy or girl you gave life to.
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- Jun 13, 2015
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Your sister is an idiot. The will of God is for children to be born. My wife is barren, but I do not think God punished us nor that it was his will for us to not have children. This is part and parcel of living in a fallen world. After getting past the crisis of knowing we could not have children, we pressed in closer as husband and wife because our marriage is the family, and children are the fruit of that family. Not having kids did not change our being a family still.
I do not equate the sovereignty of God with everything that happens is his will. I consider that point of view to be stupid which is one reason why punishment nor believing bareness was his will for us.
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Emmylouwho
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I think it’s time to stop trashing Sarah’s sister. Sarah has gotten the point. She’s right, her sister is wrong. We all know that. She must know that by now. If I’m not mistaken, Sarah seems to want to reconnect with her sister.
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ChicanaRose
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Neither the loss of your baby nor your husband's leaving is your fault. The fact that your sister blames you for these things--is also not your fault.
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- May 28, 2018
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I think the same about this as about so many things. We are both nowhere near as important to God as we think, yet we are infinitely more important to him than we can imagine, because we see the relationship all wrong. We take ourselves far too seriously, but we have no idea how seriously he takes us. We think we know our own value, but our own value is only as He planned and assesses. We are nothing, but for him.
In other words, it doesn't work like that. What makes a person think that what God does to them is not also what God is doing through them? God uses us all, obedient and disobedient, faithful and faithless, to accomplish what he set out to do.
Look at Job, whose friends claimed God was punishing him. Job knew better, and though he complained, God said Job was the only one who told the truth about him. God does what he does. Thank God we at least get to watch.
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Let me simply reiterate, your sister is incorrect. Nothing you did caused your miscarriage certainly no sin on your part. Although it is difficult, you and your sister need to mend your relationship if possible and if not you need to forgive her (because otherwise you'll still be carrying her words and actions) and let her go her own way while you move on in yours.
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Sketcher
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I don't think God would do that to you for taking fertility drugs. If God was punishing you, it would have been for something worse than that. But I don't know whether or not he was punishing you.
Now, if she were to go through the same thing, it might be punishment for what she said to you. But I can't know that for sure either.
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LovebirdsFlying
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What terribly cruel words some people say, and the irony is that they (usually) mean well when they say it.
I marked the day too... I lost a baby to SIDS in 1988. She was two months old. The first thing my mother said when it happened was, "If you'd had her longer, it would have hurt worse." She herself has never lost a child, so I don't think she can say that with any authority. Besides, how can you measure something like that? Somebody who dies falling off a ten-story building is just as dead as somebody who falls off a twenty-story building. There is no "worse."
Several years later, I attended a funeral that happened on the anniversary of the day I lost my child. It was a woman in her sixties, and her mother was still alive. It was heartbreaking to watch a mother grieve for her daughter beside the casket. Not only did I completely sympathize with her, but since it did so happen to be the anniversary, the sight triggered some flashbacks in me. When I later mentioned this to my mother, she actually answered, "That was so long ago, you should be over it by now."
You don't "get over" something like that. You only learn to adjust to it and go on.
Like I said, cruel.
God doesn't do things like this to "punish" us. In fact, He grieves with us. He can totally sympathize. After all, He watched His only begotten Son die too.
I marked the day too... I lost a baby to SIDS in 1988. She was two months old. The first thing my mother said when it happened was, "If you'd had her longer, it would have hurt worse." She herself has never lost a child, so I don't think she can say that with any authority. Besides, how can you measure something like that? Somebody who dies falling off a ten-story building is just as dead as somebody who falls off a twenty-story building. There is no "worse."
Several years later, I attended a funeral that happened on the anniversary of the day I lost my child. It was a woman in her sixties, and her mother was still alive. It was heartbreaking to watch a mother grieve for her daughter beside the casket. Not only did I completely sympathize with her, but since it did so happen to be the anniversary, the sight triggered some flashbacks in me. When I later mentioned this to my mother, she actually answered, "That was so long ago, you should be over it by now."
You don't "get over" something like that. You only learn to adjust to it and go on.
Like I said, cruel.
God doesn't do things like this to "punish" us. In fact, He grieves with us. He can totally sympathize. After all, He watched His only begotten Son die too.
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- Dec 31, 2017
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Never and that is a cruel thing to say to anyone and shame on anyone who says it.
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Emmylouwho
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I have a gift for you. Please pm me your address and I will send it to you.
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