The thing that bothers me most is the "logic" going through my head. It basically says that even though killing babies is wrong, it leads to good, and even if the ends don't justify the means and I get punished (going to hell), it's worth it for the baby. How do I combat this logic in my head? I don't know how to counter it since it almost makes sense. Even if I'm punished for it, it's worth it for the baby? I don't know. Not that I'd actually do something like this.
That is because Satan uses logic, if he came out of left field with only the preposterous we would immediately throw up our hand (figuratively and probably literally) and dismiss it right away. Logic makes us stop and think on it, which is what is happening to you.
Genesis 3
How much logic is used here and how much slight twisting of the truth. They say people that lie 'well' do so because the lie contains as much truth as possible. Remember it only takes one drop of arsenic.
3 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die."
4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
6 When
the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.
She used her logic and deducted this was a good thing to do, but of course, her logic was flawed as are the thoughts you are having.
You could take this 'logic' of aborting babies that it sends them to heaven and transfer that to a 3 month old. The same arguments of "before they have the choice to deny Jesus" and "It's worth it to save the baby" still apply. I doubt you would have similar thoughts about a baby. You would immediately know that was abhorrent and wrong on all levels. (Postpartum psychosis aside. If you did just have a baby and have thoughts like that please get medical help immediately)
So knowing that Satan is getting to you quote scripture aloud.
Ecclesiastes 11:5
As you do not know what
is the way of the wind,
Or how the bones
grow in the womb of her who is with child,
So you do not know the works of God who makes everything.
Ephesians 2:10
10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
(God may have a good work already planned out for that unborn baby)
Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;
Before you were born I sanctified you;
I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”
Matthew 18:10
10 “Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven."
Psalm 139:13-16 (my favourite)
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully
and wonderfully made;
Marvellous are Your works,
And
that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When
as yet there were none of them.
Luke 1:44
44 For indeed, as soon as the voice of your greeting sounded in my ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy.