Harmless lying to advance things with a girl.

athrun5

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I am trying to date this girl that is super stubborn and is supposedly unsure what she wants. I asked her out and after a few hangouts not dates hangouts with some of her friends / guy friend that is just that her friend I was told that she was not attracted to me but that maybe she is not ready for a relationship. 3 days later I tell her I found someone else which I did and it caused her to be shocked and surprised. Later that week her and I got to hang out at a park together one on one no friends of hers which was weird because she told me she couldnt hang out with me one on one as she considers that dating. we had a great time and this other thing with this other girl has pretty much ended and now all im left with is this girl.


What im asking is should I pretend that im advancing things with this other girl which isnt happening to presumably advance things with this girl im interested in at which im hoping shes becoming jealous.
 

athrun5

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doesn't seem like she's really interested in you if telling her that you're no longer with this other chic would make her walk away from you.

those are some weird motives to begin with.
well I think telling her that i am no longer with this girl would cause her to no longer hang out with me one on one always having to be around nik this guy I dislike to enjoy her company.
 
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bèlla

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Greetings,

I don’t think its wise to compromise your principles to date someone. You’re setting the stage for future deceptions to keep her in place. When the truth comes out you may end up back where you started.

Invest your time and energy with someone who desires your company. No games, innuendo, or gymnastic hoops involved. Just ordinary relating.

~Bella
 
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athrun5

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you said she's stubburn and it seems like she keeps guys hovering around her for the attention. she's monkey branching and will probably be messing around with other guys while she is with you.
Actually that wouldnt happen because she hates anything to do with sex or I guess possibly intimacy in general and it would compromise her christian principles.

Greetings,

I don’t think its wise to compromise your principles to date someone. You’re setting the stage for future deceptions to keep her in place. When the truth comes out you may end up back where you started.

Invest your time and energy with someone who desires your company. No games, innuendo, or gymnastic hoops involved. Just ordinary relating.

~Bella
her and I both take martial arts. though I do procrastinate fridays to hang out with her when I could be doing kickboxing and mma cage fighting.

How old are both of you?
im 28 as of yesterday and shes 24
 
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Take Heart

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Just be honest and let her know that things didnt work out with the other girl. If i knew someone was taken and things were advancing, I would lose interest quickly and put up boundaries/have my guard up whilst hanging out with someone who is taken.
 
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Cimorene

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im 28 as of yesterday and shes 24

So she's a fully grown adult woman. She's also young enough that she's got a ton of time & she may in truth not be ready for a relationship bc of stuff going on in her life. It could also be that she's not interested in you that way but is trying to be nice about things to not hurt your feelings. Don't play mind games w her.
 
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S.O.J.I.A.

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Actually that wouldnt happen because she hates anything to do with sex or I guess possibly intimacy in general and it would compromise her christian principles.
what "Christian principles" would have someone become more romantically accessible to someone who is involved with someone else?

this chic is fishy..
 
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High Fidelity

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There's no such thing as harmless lying.

She isn't in to you. She only changed her mind when she thought she couldn't be with you anymore, which is a very immature, yet sadly common reaction nowadays.
 
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athrun5

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what "Christian principles" would have someone become more romantically accessible to someone who is involved with someone else?

this chic is fishy..
To be fair it's not like I was in some serious relationship or even dating them exclusively so it wouldn't be cheating.
 
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S.O.J.I.A.

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Dumpster-Fire.jpg


…..hot mess
 
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JAM2b

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Absolutely not. Lying is wrong.

If you can't be honest, you aren't ready for a serious relationship. Dishonesty reveals immaturity, insecurity, and desperateness.

Manipulating people's emotions to get what you want is wrong.

People who make choices based on jealousy, which is something you are trying to draw out in her, are not healthy or safe to be in relationships with. IF it works, you're cooking up a disaster.

People who go after something or someone out of jealousy, which is something you are trying to draw out in her, don't do it out of love, but selfishness. It won't be a genuine or healthy love.

When she first rejected your interest in a romantic relationship, you should have backed away and respected that, unless she approached you with a change of heart. Instead of just walking away with an understanding that she said, "No," and no means no, you label her as "super stubborn and is supposedly unsure what she wants." You discuss her with friends, digging for information and a way in.

And this business with the friends saying things, it sounds like high school drama, gossip, and busy-bodyness. If they were real friends to the both of you, they would recommend that you move on to find someone who is interested, and let her speak for herself.

Why do you want to be with someone you have to manipulate to be in a relationship with? Why not wait for someone who wants you? It's better to be alone, than to be in something unstable
 
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timewerx

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To be fair it's not like I was in some serious relationship or even dating them exclusively so it wouldn't be cheating.

It's not cheating but why would you want to win a woman who isn't interested in you?

You could win her but you're also risking the fact, if a woman isn't interested in you in the first place, she's more likely to leave you later on, especially if a guy she's really interested in comes into her life.

There's far better and far more useful things to do than trying to win a woman who isn't interested in you.

Don't even try just to prove anything. You have nothing to prove here....Remember, it's not just your life that is involved here but also her life.
 
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I am trying to date this girl that is super stubborn and is supposedly unsure what she wants. I asked her out and after a few hangouts not dates hangouts with some of her friends / guy friend that is just that her friend I was told that she was not attracted to me but that maybe she is not ready for a relationship. 3 days later I tell her I found someone else which I did and it caused her to be shocked and surprised. Later that week her and I got to hang out at a park together one on one no friends of hers which was weird because she told me she couldnt hang out with me one on one as she considers that dating. we had a great time and this other thing with this other girl has pretty much ended and now all im left with is this girl.


What im asking is should I pretend that im advancing things with this other girl which isnt happening to presumably advance things with this girl im interested in at which im hoping shes becoming jealous.
1) If you have to ask if you can get away with lying to a girl on a forum to get her more attracted to you, chances are you're not good enough at social skills to do it effectively. Lying and "negging" are two examples of behavior that self-described players use, but they're not in my wheelhouse. Acting where I am weak does not show my strength and what I bring to the table. That's not where my soul is at. That is not the man God made me to be. I need to develop the heck out of what God made me to be. That can lead to attractive qualities.

2) If you expect her to be honest with you, you must be honest with her. Part of how you lead a situation, be it a relationship, or just what people in the room will begin to do, is set a precedent yourself. You lead by example, and set expectations by what you do and how you do it. If you want to receive honesty, lay a foundation of honesty.

This isn't a promise of success, but getting away from your area of strength and sowing seeds of dishonesty are almost sure ways to failure.
 
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