Apology and introduction

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I should not be here as I am in no way a Christian. But many years of having read through Scripture, and sporadic time spent among the people of God in the past (can never happen again in person for various reasons), have made me long for the company of those who know and walk with God, but at a distance that is safe for them and that does not empower me to upset, disappoint and hurt them as I invariably do in real life to anyone unfortunate enough to know me in person. Intellectually at least I subscribe to the historical and Reformed confessions and creeds ( Apostle's, Nicene, Canons of Dordt and 1689 LBC). But the test of a Christian is not doctrinal orthodoxy per se but rather the indwelling Holy Spirit, which I lack. I know I should not be here, probably won't stay long, and apologize in advance for anything I might say or do that does not glorify God, edify His people, or point others to Jesus.
 

Emmylouwho

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I should not be here as I am in no way a Christian. But many years of having read through Scripture, and sporadic time spent among the people of God in the past (can never happen again in person for various reasons), have made me long for the company of those who know and walk with God, but at a distance that is safe for them and that does not empower me to upset, disappoint and hurt them as I invariably do in real life to anyone unfortunate enough to know me in person. Intellectually at least I subscribe to the historical and Reformed confessions and creeds ( Apostle's, Nicene, Canons of Dordt and 1689 LBC). But the test of a Christian is not doctrinal orthodoxy per se but rather the indwelling Holy Spirit, which I lack. I know I should not be here, probably won't stay long, and apologize in advance for anything I might say or do that does not glorify God, edify His people, or point others to Jesus.

What makes you so certain that you lack the “indwelling Holy Spirit”?
 
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klutedavid

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I should not be here as I am in no way a Christian. But many years of having read through Scripture, and sporadic time spent among the people of God in the past (can never happen again in person for various reasons), have made me long for the company of those who know and walk with God, but at a distance that is safe for them and that does not empower me to upset, disappoint and hurt them as I invariably do in real life to anyone unfortunate enough to know me in person. Intellectually at least I subscribe to the historical and Reformed confessions and creeds ( Apostle's, Nicene, Canons of Dordt and 1689 LBC). But the test of a Christian is not doctrinal orthodoxy per se but rather the indwelling Holy Spirit, which I lack. I know I should not be here, probably won't stay long, and apologize in advance for anything I might say or do that does not glorify God, edify His people, or point others to Jesus.
Your apology is accepted.

So why would someone who claims to not have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, bother to logon to a Christian website?
 
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dailyprayerwarrior

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Since Jesus ate with those who did not believe in Him, I am sure if He was walking on the earth today rather than 2000 years ago, He would be happy to reply to their forum posts too. ;) I know everyone welcomes you here for as long as you keep things respectful. This is a great place to ask questions and safely express how you feel.
 
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Vicky gould

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I should not be here as I am in no way a Christian. But many years of having read through Scripture, and sporadic time spent among the people of God in the past (can never happen again in person for various reasons), have made me long for the company of those who know and walk with God, but at a distance that is safe for them and that does not empower me to upset, disappoint and hurt them as I invariably do in real life to anyone unfortunate enough to know me in person. Intellectually at least I subscribe to the historical and Reformed confessions and creeds ( Apostle's, Nicene, Canons of Dordt and 1689 LBC). But the test of a Christian is not doctrinal orthodoxy per se but rather the indwelling Holy Spirit, which I lack. I know I should not be here, probably won't stay long, and apologize in advance for anything I might say or do that does not glorify God, edify His people, or point others to Jesus.

Hi welcome, the Lord died for you and my husband to be here. Unless you just want to hurt people and are not seeking fellowship and the Holy Spirit. What is it that drew you back to this site and to write no less. There is something going on in you and it may just be The Good Shepherd seeking you. There maybe more desire to be a Christian than you care to admit. My husband who is a Vietnam veteran, 2 tours in marines. He is rough around the edges and he has been effected by
PTSD which can be very hard for those who have never served shy away. But the Lord continued seeking him and finally got him. my husband told me he did not understand two things. He did not know how much the Lord wanted him even with all the things he has done in life. For him the biggest hurdle was people he had a part in killing. A pastor once said it did not break God’s law because it was done. At war. My husband asked the pastor where it said unless the President asked you? My husband realized just how much the Lord wanted him. The Lord wants you as well. I believe you are trying to find the Spirit that makes His desire for you. He died that none would perish. The second thing my husband didn’t know was just how much he wanted the Lord. You sound like you are walking a similar path. God bless you are in our prayers
 
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Mathetes66

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Welcome to CF and thanks for your honesty.


Luke 7:36-50 Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house & sat down to eat. And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil & stood at His feet behind Him weeping.

And she began to wash His feet with her tears & wiped them with the hair of her head & she kissed His feet & anointed them with the fragrant oil. Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who & what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”

40And Jesus answered & said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” So he said, “Teacher, say it.”

41“There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed 500 denarii & the other fifty. And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?” Simon answered & said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”

And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.” Then He turned to the woman & said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears & wiped them with the hair of her head.

45You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

48Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”
 
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Hi all. Appreciate the warm welcome.

To answer a few questions.

How do I know I lack the Holy Spirit? No discernable witness that I
am His child (Rom. 8:16). No genuine love toward the brethren (1 John
3:14). My even being here is evidence of that. No victory over sin
(1 John 3:6). The witness of many, many Christians, including my own
family and the elders at my past several churches (which were very
different theologically). While I may not always consciously intend
to, and in fact very much wish I could somehow not do so, I deny and
blaspheme God by my every thought, attitude, word, action, and
inaction. I am only a hearer of the Word of God, not a doer (James
1:22). I am an unusually wicked sinner, both by nature, and by
choice, although I say this to my shame, certainly not to boast.

Why would an ugly jerky heathen bother to log into a Christian Web
site? I tried to explain that in my introduction, but to elaborate
just slightly, I have had the habit of daily Bible reading (actually
mostly listening) and I believe it has resulted in some superficial
changes in my life. But apart from saving faith, they are only
superficial (Heb. 4:2).

Where was I when the Titanic sunk? Not around yet. (I am actually in
my early 50s, though, given some chronic health conditions I have
neither the money nor the inclination to manage, also probably in my
last few years of life). I'm reasonably sure that I will go to the
punishment I richly deserve sooner rather than later, although it
can't possibly be soon enough, given the harm that my presence causes
to everyone around me.

As is probably obvious I do suffer from Asperger's, PTSD, and
depression, and my negligence has contributed to the deaths of
multiple people. The law did not consider it murder or even
manslaughter, but I'm pretty sure God will. All of these are
self-inflicted in my case, BTW, and none can begin to excuse even the
slightest sin against God nor against any other person. I mention
them by way of explanation, not excuse.

I do NOT wish to in any way add to the struggles of others (yet
another reason I should be here), nor do I wish to cause anyone to
doubt who should not. On the other hand I would not want to give
false assurance to anyone who was not truly regenerate, not truly in
Christ, as I think a lot of "pop Christianity" tends to do. I think
that is unbiblical and dangerous, in that no one is more difficult to
reach than the person who thinks he or she is already reached.

And finally to answer an objection I know I will likely hear from
those who believe that salvation is simply up to us: salvation is of
the Lord (Jonah 2:9, Psalm 37:39, Eph. 2:8-10) and if it were possible
to be saved merely by praying a prayer or by any other human work,
then it would have happened already. But a dead person cannot raise
himself or herself from the dead. I do not wish to turn this into a
theological debate. But not even the best person who ever lived could
add even in the most miniscule way to what Christ accomplished on the
cross for each and every person whom He foreordained from before the
foundation of time. Nor could the worst person possibly detract from
nor possess a need greater than that sacrifice - IF that person is
among those He has chosen.

I've probably done more than enough harm already, so I will end here,
and try my best henceforth to listen as much, and to speak as little,
as I can.


Joe
 
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Sabertooth

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That would explain the Titanic question. :) I don't put real birth dates into the public domain because of the very real probability of identity theft. And I figured that no one would think I were really 119, even though, until my first 3-4 cups of coffee, it sometimes feels as though I were.
 
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mnorian

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Hi welcome, the Lord died for you and my husband to be here. Unless you just want to hurt people and are not seeking fellowship and the Holy Spirit. What is it that drew you back to this site and to write no less. There is something going on in you and it may just be The Good Shepherd seeking you. There maybe more desire to be a Christian than you care to admit. My husband who is a Vietnam veteran, 2 tours in marines. He is rough around the edges and he has been effected by
PTSD which can be very hard for those who have never served shy away. But the Lord continued seeking him and finally got him. my husband told me he did not understand two things. He did not know how much the Lord wanted him even with all the things he has done in life. For him the biggest hurdle was people he had a part in killing. A pastor once said it did not break God’s law because it was done. At war. My husband asked the pastor where it said unless the President asked you? My husband realized just how much the Lord wanted him. The Lord wants you as well. I believe you are trying to find the Spirit that makes His desire for you. He died that none would perish. The second thing my husband didn’t know was just how much he wanted the Lord. You sound like you are walking a similar path. God bless you are in our prayers
2019-10-09 03.34.47 www.google.com 045222eef329.png
 
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