So I just had a second date with the woman from my church - what is the next step?

J Daniel

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For example, while she acknowledged her lack of readiness, she was open to your attention and show of affection. Her receptiveness shows her heart isn’t closed. She just needs time.
Yeah true.

You know I asked her last week if she wanted to go to Paris with me (some point in next few months near x-mas) Eurostar and she was like YEAH OF COURSE WHY NOT!

Well anyway I appreciate your advice - I am just going to take it easy and see where things go! Simple as that.

But I do like her - I can't lie.

Really adorable (only 5ft1) gorgeous hands! (why I love holding them so much lol) but I agree with u maybe I shud leave off holding her hands etc etc but it is all mutual!

Cos Bella I am sure if there was a man that likes you (and you liked him too but you was not ready for RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM) but he was holding ya hands and hugging you from behind etc etc I am sure you would still like it regardless of if you are ready or not for RELATIONSHIP cos it is affection! Humans are affectionate creatures! But yeah! There ya go!

I need to get a next date with her - like i said her fav restaurant - amusement park something like that! I will see her against this week at our church meeting so yeah.

I think for now - continue our messages on WhatsApp - seeing how she is doing etc.
 
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bèlla

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Yeah is that KELLY KELLY????? Barbie Blank? From the WWE?
Looks like her!

J Daniel,

I’m not sure. Her hair reminds me of Bridget Bardot. I’m in the mood for old world beauty. A look that’s overtly feminine and glamorous. :cool:

~Bella
 
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J Daniel

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J Daniel,

I’m not sure. Her hair reminds me of Bridget Bardot. I’m in the mood for old world beauty. A look that’s overtly feminine and glamorous. :cool:

~Bella
it looks like her! Maybe it might not be her (all these model look a like after a while).

But yeah it looks good!!!
 
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bèlla

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J Daniel,

I can’t help smiling at the mention of Paris. I’m very biased. :yellowheart:

You know I asked her last week if she wanted to go to Paris with me (some point in next few months near x-mas) Eurostar and she was like YEAH OF COURSE WHY NOT!

No sensible creature would say no! I like her already. You have good taste. That’s a lovely suggestion. :star:

Well anyway I appreciate your advice - I am just going to take it easy and see where things go! Simple as that.

That is the best approach. You’ll have less to worry about.

But I do like her - I can't lie.

That’s fine. At least you admit it. ;)

Really adorable (only 5ft1) gorgeous hands! (why I love holding them so much lol) but I agree with u maybe I shud leave off holding her hands etc etc but it is all mutual!

A little denial never hurts. You’ll treasure them when you resume the practice.

Cos Bella I am sure if there was a man that likes you (and you liked him too but you was not ready for RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM) but he was holding ya hands and hugging you from behind etc etc I am sure you would still like it regardless of if you are ready or not for RELATIONSHIP cos it is affection!

If I desired him and his passion made him bold and intense we might have a problem. :D

I think for now - continue our messages on WhatsApp - seeing how she is doing etc.

The hard part is done. Relax and see where it leads. Have fun! :)
 
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J Daniel

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I can’t help smiling at the mention of Paris. I’m very biased. :yellowheart:
Oh yeah I remember you have a love for France!
No sensible creature would say no! I like her already. You have good taste. That’s a lovely suggestion. :star:
hehe well if you like her then that tells me I am on the right track haha yeah plus I need to venture more in main land Europe and I know in our church group she says how she wants to go around etc. When we get closer to time I will ask her for the date so it can all be booked etc etc etc.
That’s fine. At least you admit it. ;)
Well she knows I like her too ^_^
Funny cos I asked her once on WhatsApp

DO YOU LIKE ME?

and her response

OF COURSE I LIKE YOU WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT

(lol then she spoke about how she is not ready for relationship right now etc etc etc)

A little denial never hurts. You’ll treasure them when you resume the practice.
Yeah it will be hard for me not to hold her hands when out again with her (when ever that will be) lol but I will do my best??? loooooooooooooooooooool

Bella I just want her to know inside *HE ALWAYS GIVES ME 100% AFFECTION* ya know?

Cos no woman would want to be with a man that doesn't show ''love''................

Cos it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO easy to be affectionate towards her! Really feminine and traditional in her ways! Even from her upbringing it is evident.

THAT IS THE TYPE OF WOMAN (that character etc) A MAN WILL KILL FOR AND PROTECT.

Look I am not falling in love lol I am very much standing up right!

If I desired him and his passion made him bold and intense we might have a problem. :D
lol well everybody must have control lol for me it is just that closeness.

The hard part is done. Relax and see where it leads. Have fun! :)
BTW what do you suggest as a 3rd date venue? I was thinking of taking her to an amusement park - too childish? (but I could win her a big fat teddy bear: HEROIC! ^_^) Or somewhere in the heart of London i dunno.

But because I want to ask her about prayer life (more things) maybe take her to her fav restaurant is best.

Whatever it is - I will ask her if she wants to go in 2-3 weeks time.
 
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bèlla

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J Daniel,

France and the UK have always held a special place within my heart. I think I’ll understand the reason when I’m living there. I suspect the culture and sensibilities are part of it.

I know in our church group she says how she wants to go around etc.

You were gracious and extended her a courtesy. Given your location it wasn’t out of order. I think its good she accepted. Getting away often has a positive effect on a couple.

OF COURSE I LIKE YOU WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT

You have your answer. Now you can take your time. She’s invested and isn’t going anywhere.

Yeah it will be hard for me not to hold her hands when out again with her (when ever that will be) lol but I will do my best???

You’ll earn her esteem for your ability to wait and give her time to heal. She won’t forget and will make it up in spades.

Bella I just want her to know inside *HE ALWAYS GIVES ME 100% AFFECTION* ya know?

Yes. Its the little things that matter most. :)

Cos no woman would want to be with a man that doesn't show ''love''

I knew someone like that. He was demonstrative but not to the degree you’ve shared. When you’re accustomed to frequent expressions of love and care, its absence can be difficult to handle.

Really feminine and traditional in her ways! Even from her upbringing it is evident.

I’m happy to hear that. Those are the qualities you want in a wife and mother.

BTW what do you suggest as a 3rd date venue? I was thinking of taking her to an amusement park - too childish? (but I could win her a big fat teddy bear: HEROIC! ^_^) Or somewhere in the heart of London i dunno.

Not at all. Every moment needn’t be serious. That sounds fun. You’ll relax and have a blast. Mix it up. When in doubt, Dating Divas has great ideas.

But because I want to ask her about prayer life (more things) maybe take her to her fav restaurant is best.

Ask her how she came to faith. Start there and let the discussion grow organically. Share your story too. You’ll learn more by letting her talk than asking lots of questions.

Whatever it is - I will ask her if she wants to go in 2-3 weeks time.

That’s great pacing. You aren’t spending too much time together. If you continue in that vain things should be okay. :)
 
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J Daniel

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France and the UK have always held a special place within my heart. I think I’ll understand the reason when I’m living there. I suspect the culture and sensibilities are part of it.
Yes yes you would love it! You must visit first!
Getting away often has a positive effect on a couple.
Oooooooo ya used the term *couple* for us :relaxed::relaxed::relaxed::relaxed: but yeah I agree defo has a feel good factor!
She’s invested and isn’t going anywhere.
I hope she isn't going anywhere haha but yeah I get ya! I mean she character is good - but as one user did say earlier just cos she says to me she is not ready for a relationship could EASILY mean her saying she is just not wanting a relationship with ME: very true! Cos I have learnt from the past that people can say one thing but do something very different!
You’ll earn her esteem for your ability to wait and give her time to heal. She won’t forget and will make it up in spades.
Understood!
He was demonstrative but not to the degree you’ve shared
Nobody does anything to my degree ^_^
When you’re accustomed to frequent expressions of love and care, its absence can be difficult to handle.
Agreed!!!!
Can I say something - ya know how when I got her number to begin with YES YES YES I KNOW THE MEANS MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN RIGHT DURING PRAYER PLAYING WITH HER HANDS I ADMIT IT WAS NOT RIGHT LOOK AT THE TIME MY HEAD WAS WAY OFF anyway cos when we prayed i didn't do that and she was asking after if I was okay? Maybe she felt it was a sign I was not feeling her - though she knows I do! (cause going through a thing atm she knows about so it made sense to her all).
I’m happy to hear that. Those are the qualities you want in a wife and mother.
Yeah exactly!
Not at all. Every moment needn’t be serious. That sounds fun. You’ll relax and have a blast. Mix it up. When in doubt, Dating Divas has great ideas.
ooooooooooooo (I will check ya Divas link after) but I think another idea (won't be next) but take her to a live theatre performance (stage performance) THAT WOULD BE GREAT! Very classy! Then get us a taxi home! AWESOME!
Ask her how she came to faith. Start there and let the discussion grow organically. Share your story too. You’ll learn more by letting her talk than asking lots of questions.
Well she was raised in Orthodox christian church from her parents - but she said after her problems with her past 'boyfriend' she needed God etc etc etc.
But next date I will go into that - I did say to her I wanted to find out more about her how she came to be the lady she is today! etc etc. Our first date I certainly got a lot of info from her!
Like I said SHE was the one that broke all your rules of what not to talk about on a first date ^_^

I will message her later today to propose idea of going to amusement park in 3 weeks time! :)
 
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ThisIsMe123

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Why weren't you watching a movie about Cyclops?

But seriously, you should had make a joke when she said "We haven't met that long" like "Well, 30 minutes waiting in line is long enough for me" or "We are having a Disney romance", yadda yadda.

Also don't get into an illusion with a single woman, otherwise you might become needy. Keep having dates with her and with others.

Keep in mind that "I am not ready for a relationship" might mean she is not interested in a relationship with you, I have seen how girls said that yet they get into a relationship in a couple of weeks.

Yep, had a woman tell me, "I need to work on myself now" some BS about working out, getting in shape, loosing some weight.

A couple weeks later, I saw her on Match... then on Facebook with a new boyfriend and a baby in the oven. Probably unplanned since she already had 2 kids from previous marriage.

All within the course of a year.
 
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bèlla

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J Daniel,

Spending a lengthy period in a place brings a different perspective. The benefit of attending school across the pond is the opportunity of experiencing the culture and living like a local.

but as one user did say earlier just cos she says to me she is not ready for a relationship could EASILY mean her saying she is just not wanting a relationship with ME: very true! Cos I have learnt from the past that people can say one thing but do something very different!

That is true for everyone. But until she gives you a reason to suspect she isn’t telling the truth, don’t introduce the notion in your head. Stay positive and grounded. :)

cos when we prayed i didn't do that and she was asking after if I was okay? Maybe she felt it was a sign I was not feeling her - though she knows I do! (cause going through a thing atm she knows about so it made sense to her all).

It happened. We needn’t revisit it. :)

It was probably a surprise. I can see how its absence might raise a question. Reassure her in other ways so you don’t feel convicted. Being unified in your focus at church will give you strength to face the challenges the week presents. Liken it to a weekly tune up.

but I think another idea (won't be next) but take her to a live theatre performance (stage performance) THAT WOULD BE GREAT! Very classy! Then get us a taxi home! AWESOME!

That’s an excellent idea! You knew I’d like it. :happyblush:

Well she was raised in Orthodox christian church from her parents

That explains her traditional values. It isn’t easy to find men and women who have those convictions. Take your time and encourage her stories. Since you’re family oriented, it’s ideal to meet someone with a similar mindset. A close knit family is a blessing.

I did say to her I wanted to find out more about her how she came to be the lady she is today!

Good idea. I shared a resource you may want to look over. It gives you something to go on. No one will demonstrate each perfectly. But you’d like to see a few. :)

Like I said SHE was the one that broke all your rules of what not to talk about on a first date

I’m breaking a rule as we speak. Disrupting my comfort zone is good every now and then. :p

I will message her later today to propose idea of going to amusement park in 3 weeks time!

Stay present and enjoy the moments. Have fun at the park! :D
 
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J Daniel

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Spending a lengthy period in a place brings a different perspective. The benefit of attending school across the pond is the opportunity of experiencing the culture and living like a local.
Yes hence why people love working abroad to experience that part of the world defo a good idea!
That is true for everyone. But until she gives you a reason to suspect she isn’t telling the truth, don’t introduce the notion in your head. Stay positive and grounded. :)
Yes true true - I just remain *cautiously optimistic*
Being unified in your focus at church will give you strength to face the challenges the week presents. Liken it to a weekly tune up.
Indeed!
Reassure her in other ways so you don’t feel convicted.
Yeah well she gets a lot of reassurances lol especially before -during and after the film - hand holding #awwwwwwwwwwww :) :) :)
Her hands are too beautiful aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
That’s an excellent idea! You knew I’d like it. :happyblush:
HAHAHAA I LOVE THAT EMOJI RESPONSE HAHAHAHA SUPER CUTE! Yes yes yes beautiful idea! I think it is classy! Musical/stage performance something like that: beautiful! (I have good taste ya know!!!!)
That explains her traditional values. It isn’t easy to find men and women who have those convictions. Take your time and encourage her stories. Since you’re family oriented, it’s ideal to meet someone with a similar mindset. A close knit family is a blessing.
Yes defo which is why at the same time it is wise to not RUSH things - cos ultimately if it is meant to be it will be ya know? So yeah!
Good idea. I shared a resource you may want to look over. It gives you something to go on. No one will demonstrate each perfectly. But you’d like to see a few. :)
I am gonna look at it an get back to you!!!!
I’m breaking a rule as we speak. Disrupting my comfort zone is good every now and then. :p
You can't make an omelette without cracking a few eggs!
 
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J Daniel

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Good idea. I shared a resource you may want to look over. It gives you something to go on. No one will demonstrate each perfectly. But you’d like to see a few. :)
Not trying to be funny (I read them all 30) I think she defo ticks all 30 boxes!

Especially:
Gracious - moral excellence - Honest - self-aware - gift giver (she has a big heart) - wise words (she is very against gossiping one thing she said she finds hard about this country) - Class and dignity on social media (yes she asked me if i had IG once I said NO and she was like GOOD COS SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE IT) -

Look cut to quick she is all in the list again her upbringing defo plays massive role!

Interesting cos when i asked her DO YOU LIKE ME? and she was OF COURSE I DO WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?

She told me things she likes about me she said how I am a

'good person'
'serious'
'big child'
'shy'(which is lovely) and she said she hopes I believe in humans and love them - and she said she i make her smile.

Which is cool - now where these characteristic falls in the men's categories you wrote I need to see LOL but yeah haha

But I did say to her I would never FORCE anything on her and she said I am a 'good man' so yeah look time just maintain the flow of things!

I don't want to b@lls things up!

I just hope things do end up well.

Judge Judy on relationships *hope for the best - prepare for the worst* =]
 
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J Daniel

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Yep, had a woman tell me, "I need to work on myself now" some BS about working out, getting in shape, loosing some weight.
Yeah though as a MAN when a MAN says she needs to work on himself it is more to do with setting up his kingdom ready! Women well meh I dunno I am not a woman lol but I am very aware about when you are given the run around! Cos if she likes you you know about it!
A couple weeks later, I saw her on Match... then on Facebook with a new boyfriend and a baby in the oven. Probably unplanned since she already had 2 kids from previous marriage.

All within the course of a year.
ooooooooooooo yes! yeah gotta read between the lines for sure for sure!

Hence why with my situation I just saying *I am cautiously optimistic*

But as Judge Judy says *HOPE FOR THE BEST - PREPARE FOR THE WORST*

Cos truth is nobody is indispensable when it comes to the 'dating game'
 
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bèlla

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J Daniel,

Cautious optimism is a clever way of saying you’re not sure or don’t believe. But faith says otherwise. It acknowledges the inevitable when the present’s uncertain.

I recently shared an odd occurrence. My woodworking instructor mentioned another student who made sewing furniture in the shop. The pieces were really nice.

Lo and behold, that person is in my sewing class. Out of the millions in our city, we met unexpectedly. My promotion to the advanced group is the reason it occurred.

If God can weave our paths together for His purpose. It won’t be difficult to do the same with a man. That’s how I see it. :)

I think it is classy! Musical/stage performance something like that: beautiful! (I have good taste ya know!!!!)

I love the theater and opera. I enjoy live performances, dance, art galleries, museums, etc. Living in a cultural mecca is nice. You can feed your mind wholesome things.

Yes, you have nice taste. I hope to meet someone who enjoys the same. :)

Yes defo which is why at the same time it is wise to not RUSH things - cos ultimately if it is meant to be it will be ya know? So yeah!

I do. I would like a prayerful bond where we seek the Lord’s input on the connection and for our mutual benefit. No matter the outcome, I want us to grow in each other’s company.

~Bella
 
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J Daniel,

You are fortunate to meet someone with a fine disposition. She will make you a better man by her presence and encourage you to stretch yourself on her behalf.

Especially:
Gracious - moral excellence - Honest - self-aware - gift giver (she has a big heart) - wise words (she is very against gossiping one thing she said she finds hard about this country) - Class and dignity on social media (yes she asked me if i had IG once I said NO and she was like GOOD COS SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE IT) -

All of the qualities you’ve mentioned are important. But class and dignity are a must. That will offset many shortcomings and reflect positively on each. Her behavior has an important bearing on your reputation.

Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. —Proverbs 31:23

Look cut to quick she is all in the list again her upbringing defo plays massive role!

I think so. But even if that was not the case. We can educate ourselves and learn the art of ladyship and godly submission.

She told me things she likes about me she said how I am

Her shared positive comments were affirming and life giving. We should leave the other feeling strengthened and edified in some way. This is best accomplished through attentiveness, listening, and taking interest in his activities. It doesn’t sound like you’ll have trouble on that end. :)

It’s important she spoke honestly. Flattery feeds the ego, not the spirit.

Which is cool - now where these characteristic falls in the men's categories you wrote I need to see LOL but yeah haha

You may have more than you realize. When in doubt, ask those who know you best.

It sounds like you’ve met a special lady. I would fill my mind with positive things that reinforce the good you’re stepping into.

Its a new day. Its time for a new song. Leave the past behind. :)
 
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J Daniel

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Cautious optimism is a clever way of saying you’re not sure or don’t believe. But faith says otherwise. It acknowledges the inevitable when the present’s uncertain.
hehe well cautious optimism is my way of not being disappointed if things don't go how I would like! :tongueclosed::tongueclosed:
Faith is beautiful - she actually speaks about her journey of faith etc etc we both agree it is hard at times.
Lo and behold, that person is in my sewing class. Out of the millions in our city, we met unexpectedly. My promotion to the advanced group is the reason it occurred.

If God can weave our paths together for His purpose. It won’t be difficult to do the same with a man. That’s how I see it.
Miss Bella you have good things that happen for you! :kissingheart: great character!

I love the theater and opera. I enjoy live performances, dance, art galleries, museums, etc. Living in a cultural mecca is nice. You can feed your mind wholesome things.

Yes, you have nice taste. I hope to meet someone who enjoys the same. :)
OHHHH yes art galleries that is another idea!! Museums too of course!!
Well Bella you have your pick of men to choose from so easily will get the man that is into ya things too no doubt.

It is important for both to be believers in Christ.

One thing I must say I love when I explain certain passages of scripture it is nice - good connection!
 
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J Daniel

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She will make you a better man by her presence and encourage you to stretch yourself on her behalf.
Amen! Let's hope so!
Her behavior has an important bearing on your reputation.
You are both reflections of each other! So very important for both parties to represent themselves well.
We can educate ourselves and learn the art of ladyship and godly submission.
True - divine intervention for some!
Flattery feeds the ego, not the spirit.
Yeah ego gets you nowhere after a while!
It sounds like you’ve met a special lady. I would fill my mind with positive things that reinforce the good you’re stepping into.
Ye just take everything a day at a time!
Its a new day. Its time for a new song. Leave the past behind. :)
Amen!
Well I will read the Judges 16 - why? Cos it is great! ^_^ all the best Bella!
 
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bèlla

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J Daniel,

I understand your prudence. I encourage you to be prayerful and affirm God’s best for you both.

Faith is beautiful - she actually speaks about her journey of faith etc etc we both agree it is hard at times.

It increases in time. Remember the first time you rode a bike? You were nervous and uncertain. Now you ride with confidence. The more you see God’s hand in your life the deeper your trust grows. You’ll know He’s in your corner.

Miss Bella you have good things that happen for you! :kissingheart: great character!

Thank you. It was humbling and affirming. :blush1:

OHHHH yes art galleries that is another idea!! Museums too of course!!

You have endless options! :)

Well Bella you have your pick of men to choose from so easily will get the man that is into ya things too no doubt.

That is my hope and prayer. :love:

One thing I must say I love when I explain certain passages of scripture it is nice - good connection!

I’m glad you’ve met someone who shares your faith and hunger for God. :)

~Bella
 
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