Greetings J Daniel,
Thank you for the kind words. I’ll address your questions below.
but I never told her my heart says yes and mind is no - but yeah...
This is an honest assessment of where things are. You’ve answered the question of mutual interest. Her willingness to accept a second date suggests she hasn’t ruled you out.
Yes I want to know her more - but I don't want her considering others lol cos that is why I would LIKE us to be exclusive in some way even if we are not 'relationship' fine
You may have difficulty securing exclusivity. It is impossible to predict what will happen in the coming months. You could cross paths with someone who’s open to dating and you’ve tied your hands.
An alternative approach is nurturing a God-centered connection that enables you to share her company without pressures or demands. In the course of sharing your faith you’re discovering one another’s character.
Over time you’ll know if she’s suitable for friendship or something more. This alleviates the necessity of dating, trial and error, and putting on the breaks.
The God-centered connection will enable mutual healing and relational growth. You’ll know whether you want to pursue things further—as in a courtship—or develop a platonic bond.
she said she doesn't want to rely on anybody for the future she wants of husband kids etc (which I am sure she did with her previous before the hurt came) so now she is more cautious - understandable.
Guardedness is a defense mechanism. She may arrive at a different decision when she’s healed and you’ve gained her trust. Since you’re both wrestling with similar challenges. Keeping God in the forefront of your communication will protect you from further hurt. And you’ll see her walk with Him.
Could you explain what ya mean by that? I am not sharp - i am slow (but fast when I want to be
)
I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear. What I’m referencing is the differences in what she says and does. Her mind may compel the words (and she believes them). But her actions tell another story.
For example, while she acknowledged her lack of readiness, she was open to your attention and show of affection. Her receptiveness shows her heart isn’t closed. She just needs time.
Of course - what would i like to do with her next? Take her to her fav restaurant? Something unique(like an amusement park)? I just want to maintain this sequence of seeing her outside the walls of the house of God.
You can initiate the shift through your discussions and limiting romantic displays. Chivalry is fine. But you may want to hold off the kissing and handholding for a bit to give you both some wiggle room. That will change the atmosphere and allow greater intimacy.
Yeah Bella likes men that are STRAIGHT TO THE POINT!
I’m not a mind reader and I don’t see the wisdom of trying to figure things out. If a gentleman expresses an interest it’s a courtesy for each. I know where I stand and how to respond.
If he expects me to grasp his intentions the possibility for error is great. I may reach the wrong conclusion. I don’t assume my place. He needs to show me.
But yeah I guess from what you said in that lil bit there I need to ask her her views on us and how she feels? and if she sees others?
I think you’ll answer that through a God-centered connection without putting her on the spot. She may be undecided. Give yourselves time to discover the truth together.
I’m employing the same with someone. We enjoy the benefit of each other’s company and godly fellowship without the necessity of defining our engagement. Character and mutual interest will determine if we become friends, acquaintances, or something else.
This is my accommodation for Christian men. It alleviates expectation, rejection, or over exposure. We can relax in the confines of our faith and progress naturally. It isn’t rushed or forced.
~Bella