Dealing with inappropriate content, marijuana & alcohol as a female Christian

sister, I don't believe God is keeping 'finding a husband' away from you because of your sins. God actually says it is better to get married than to burn with passion.1Cor 7:8-9

Thir7ySev3n said:

This is not a small issue to keep failing in. Many Christians (true and falsely so-called) have struggled in the area of sexual purity and so have a stake in minimizing the consequences of it. The fact that you felt like this was a "safe space" for it as well is disturbing, since the Scripture commands we do not associate with someone who is called a brother and is guilty of sexual immorality, not even to eat with them until they repent (1 Corinthians 5:11; note, New Testament command).

This is why sins like this are allowed to carry on, because no one puts the fear of God in you and corporately disciplines the guilty person, giving them due shame and suffering of loss. I fear for a house full of delinquent children to whom the Father has to return to an absentee mother shirking her duty to carry on the Father's disciplines. Why should you have to suffer God directly rather than the first grace at the hands of mere men?

I am not here to be friendly to you, but to urge you to repent and otherwise not associate with you, since you call yourself a sister, and are guilty of sexual immorality.

"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap." (Galatians 6:7)

Worse than this, if you set yourself up this way, and get married, you will be more inclined to commit adultery, which will only compound the severity of your sin. Learn to not indulge now.

"No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil." (1 John 3:6-8)

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I hope you never commit any sin with an attitude like this. For the measure in which you judge you will also be judged. Very Pharisaical attitude you have here

TheStrugglingChristian said:

Must be difficult for you being perfect.

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Don't worry about the one or two on christian forums that will throw bible verses and judgement at you.

When the woman caught in adultery was brought to Jesus he asked her, "Where are your accusers?" They had all left because the Lord had reminded them that they also sin and judgement was not for them. Then he told her something remarkable. Even though he could have judged her, he forgave her and said, "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more."

Christian Forums is full of wonderful, God loving people from all groups, but the inherent issue with an online community is you will have the one offs that feels it is their duty to sling holy fire on anything.

Point is God is waiting to help you. A person who acknowledges they have a problem and truly seek God for help to overcome will not be judged or condemned, but rather set free.

Don't allow the judgement of one or two Pharisees to take your eyes off Jesus.

ByTheSpirit said:

I hope you never commit any sin with an attitude like this. For the measure in which you judge you will also be judged. Very Pharisaical attitude you have here

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ByTheSpirit said:

Don't worry about the one or two on christian forums that will throw bible verses and judgement at you.

When the woman caught in adultery was brought to Jesus he asked her, "Where are your accusers?" They had all left because the Lord had reminded them that they also sin and judgement was not for them. Then he told her something remarkable. Even though he could have judged her, he forgave her and said, "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more."

Christian Forums is full of wonderful, God loving people from all groups, but the inherent issue with an online community is you will have the one offs that feels it is their duty to sling holy fire on anything.

Point is God is waiting to help you. A person who acknowledges they have a problem and truly seek God for help to overcome will not be judged or condemned, but rather set free.

Don't allow the judgement of one or two Pharisees to take your eyes off Jesus.

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Your comfort of this woman is beyond foolish, and condemns Christ and Paul both as Pharisees. Paul commands us NOT to associate with a person who calls themself a Christian and is guilty of sexual immorality, not even to eat with them til they repent (1 Corinthians 5:11). The word of every man on this site and in every church can not be brought against that Word.

Here's what Jesus has to say about a sexually immoral person in the church:

"I gave her time to repent, but she refuses to repent of her sexual immorality. Behold, I will throw her onto a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her I will throw into great tribulation, unless they repent of her works, and I will strike her children dead. And all the churches will know that I am he who searches mind and heart, and I will give to each of you according to your works." (Revelation 2:21-23)

Go ahead and put God to the test and see how much sin you can willingly do, if you think He won't show the churches that He is the same today as He was yesterday in Revelation (unless of course your judgment is reserved for condemnation rather than here and now, Hebrews 12:8, which is a dire sign). The words we speak will manifest their worth against each other at that time, and your words won't stand. You are against explicit Scripture not to comfort but to avoid and shame this woman so she won't be judged by God Himself (Hebrews 13:4).

Thir7ySev3n said:

Your comfort of this woman is beyond foolish, and condemns Christ and Paul both as Pharisees. Paul commands us NOT to associate with a person who calls themself a Christian and is guilty of sexual immorality, not even to eat with them til they repent (1 Corinthians 5:11). The word of every man on this site and in every church can not be brought against that Word.

Here's what Jesus has to say about a sexually immoral person in the church:

"I gave her time to repent, but she refuses to repent of her sexual immorality. Behold, I will throw her onto a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her I will throw into great tribulation, unless they repent of her works, and I will strike her children dead. And all the churches will know that I am he who searches mind and heart, and I will give to each of you according to your works." (Revelation 2:21-23)

Go ahead and put God to the test and see how much sin you can willingly do, if you think He won't show the churches that He is the same today as He was yesterday in Revelation. The words we speak will manifest their worth against each other at that time, and your words won't stand. You are against explicit Scripture not to comfort but to avoid and shame this woman so she won't be judged by God Himself (Hebrews 13:4).

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John 8:1-11 you should read it, study it, and learn from it.

ByTheSpirit said:

John 8:1-11 you should read it, study it, and learn from it.

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1 John 3:5-10 shows you don't understand the nature of what you are quoting and the actual repentance of the woman in question.

"For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power." (1 Corinthians 4:20)

TheStrugglingChristian said:

I'll be honest, I've been having a really tough time with these sins. And right now I'm really wanting to smoke, but I know I'll feel guilty about it and it will make my mood worse. I was doing so well with not looking at inappropriate content and masturbating but I failed the other day. I feel like I will always just fail no matter how much progress I make. And I know I've been taking steps to better myself and my walk with God. I joined a new church that my friends brought me too and have even been making new Christian friends and going to worship and prayer nights. But I still feel disconnected alot. I look at everyone else and wish I could be that close to God and not want to do all of these sins, but I keep failing... and I feel God is keeping things away from me like finding a husband because of all of these issues. I'm really emotionally tired about it all to be honest. Why is this so hard? Thanks for reading this. I didn't want to bother any of my friends. I've never even told them about my issue with inappropriate content.

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Because we don't have many wooden or stone carved idols anymore, we tend to think idolatry is a thing of the past. Paul told the Colossians what idolatry really is.

Col_3:5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

Idols are substitutes for God. Idolaters believe their activity will fill the void or meet the need in their heart.

It is unusual for you as a woman to struggle with masturbation, since that tends be more a problem with men, but the reasons are the same. Apart from sensuality [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] bring, masturbation is a substitute for the intimacy of a marriage. Even when married a man or woman may touch because the relationship they have has problems that they are trying to fill with this substitute.

Likewise, intoxication or highs are a substitute for the presence of God. A vicious cycle can be created with guilt even when born again and the presence of God is always there. What I mean is that you think you are not worthy of God because of your weakness in smoking pot, which drives you to smoke more pot because you miss the presence of God.

It is a lying doctrine that says that God can not be in the presence of sin. When Jesus walked the Earth, that was all that was there: sinners. He was called a friend of sinners.
The psalmist tells us:

Psa 139:7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
Psa 139:8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

Sinners are in hell, God is still there. His holiness separates him from sin so he is untouched by sin. Holiness, given to us by Christ, is for us to be untouched by sin, too.

Years ago, I was engaged to be married, and my fiance slept with her old boyfriend. I was distraught and went to see what I regarded as a inappropriate contentographic movie (Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts, hardly inappropriate contentographic by today's standard) and cried unto the Lord and asked him Why I was watching such an ungodly film? He responded and told me my heart was broken. There was no condemnation in his tone of voice, only understanding and compassion.

All problems with idolatry are rooted in some misunderstanding, or injury of the heart. You need to believe that God does not condemn you for your activity, although it does shut the flow of blessings in your life.

I'll say a prayer for you... and don't think that you are alone in your struggles. We all have struggles in life. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to not put yourself in situations that can cause you to struggle. So make sure to have a strong network of good friends near you... your biggest and closest friend is Christ who should also be lord of your life; ponder on God, pray to God and read his word continually.

We live in a time where temptation is all over us. God sees this and knows that you care and that you are trying to do the right thing. So you also mustn't beat yourself up too much. We should all forgive our enemies but we should also learn to forgive ourselves.

TheStrugglingChristian said:

I'll be honest, I've been having a really tough time with these sins. And right now I'm really wanting to smoke, but I know I'll feel guilty about it and it will make my mood worse. I was doing so well with not looking at inappropriate content and masturbating but I failed the other day. I feel like I will always just fail no matter how much progress I make. And I know I've been taking steps to better myself and my walk with God. I joined a new church that my friends brought me too and have even been making new Christian friends and going to worship and prayer nights. But I still feel disconnected alot. I look at everyone else and wish I could be that close to God and not want to do all of these sins, but I keep failing... and I feel God is keeping things away from me like finding a husband because of all of these issues. I'm really emotionally tired about it all to be honest. Why is this so hard? Thanks for reading this. I didn't want to bother any of my friends. I've never even told them about my issue with inappropriate content.

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I can

TheStrugglingChristian said:

I'll be honest, I've been having a really tough time with these sins. And right now I'm really wanting to smoke, but I know I'll feel guilty about it and it will make my mood worse. I was doing so well with not looking at inappropriate content and masturbating but I failed the other day. I feel like I will always just fail no matter how much progress I make. And I know I've been taking steps to better myself and my walk with God. I joined a new church that my friends brought me too and have even been making new Christian friends and going to worship and prayer nights. But I still feel disconnected alot. I look at everyone else and wish I could be that close to God and not want to do all of these sins, but I keep failing... and I feel God is keeping things away from me like finding a husband because of all of these issues. I'm really emotionally tired about it all to be honest. Why is this so hard? Thanks for reading this. I didn't want to bother any of my friends. I've never even told them about my issue with inappropriate content.

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I’ve never drank or smoked before so I’m probably not much help. I thought people said it wasn’t addictive. Maybe they are wrong. You feeling guilty about sin shows you care and is a good thing.

My constructivw suggestion is that you need new friends who dont get involved in alcohol, inappropriate content and weed. It is very difficult to confront personal sins and bad habits when you are alone. You need encouragement, you need the company of other people your own age who have beat these problems.

KNOCK and the door will be opened unto you. Seek others who have faith in God and can help. Dont wait, start today!!

Blessings.

TheStrugglingChristian said:

I'll be honest, I've been having a really tough time with these sins. And right now I'm really wanting to smoke, but I know I'll feel guilty about it and it will make my mood worse. I was doing so well with not looking at inappropriate content and masturbating but I failed the other day. I feel like I will always just fail no matter how much progress I make. And I know I've been taking steps to better myself and my walk with God.

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I think the core of your problem is expressed in the last sentence of the quotation above: "I'VE been taking steps to BETTER MYSELF and my walk with God."

My dear, God isn't in the business of helping you better yourself. Does that surprise you? Perhaps confuse you? It does most Christians. You see, modern Christianity has drifted far from biblical Christianity. And as it has, an increasing number of Christians have found the Christian life impossible to live because they have mistaken entirely what it means to walk with God, to be a Christian.

God's answer to your sin problem isn't to make you better, to make you stronger, but to put you to death. That's right: life with God is found only through death to yourself. John the Baptist put it this way: "He must increase, but I must decrease." (John 3:30) Jesus is even more explicit:

Matthew 16:24-25
24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.
25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

The cross is an instrument of death. To take up your cross is to die. This is what Jesus explained in verse 25. The disciple of Christ, the Christian, must lose his (or her) life in order to find new life in Jesus. This is key: God's goal is to manifest Himself in and through you, not simply enable you to be like Him. He intends for you to be a vessel, a container, of Himself. To this end, He has replaced your old, self-centered life with a new life in Christ. "Old things are passed away, behold, all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17) It is a big mistake, then, to think God's aim is just to improve you, to expand your powers, to make you a copy of Jesus. No, God wants to replace you with Himself. He wants to act in you such that when people encounter you, they encounter Him (not just your own weak, flawed copy of Him).

Here's the important thing about taking up your cross: You can't crucify yourself. Many Christians think it is their job to die to themselves and they set about trying mightily to do so, but just as a person cannot physically self-crucify, a person cannot spiritually self-crucify. No, if we are going to die to ourselves it is only as we recognize that God has already crucified us with Christ. He has put to death the "old man" (Romans 6:6), that part of us that desires to sin, that is selfish, and carnal, and earthly-minded. Christ's blood cleanses us from sin but it is his cross that frees us from the source of our sin. And so, Paul the apostle wrote,

Galatians 2:20
20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Paul explained to the Roman believers that the way they would come to experience the truth of their freedom from sin through their co-crucifixion with Christ was as they "reckoned it so." (Romans 6:11) That is, as they, by faith, counted on the fact of their crucifixion of their "old man" on Christ's cross, recognizing that they were truly free of the power of Self to cause them to sin as a result, it is then that they would begin to experience the truth of this spiritual reality in their daily living. Paul was so confident in the power of this spiritual truth that he wrote,

Romans 6:1-2
6 What shall we say then?Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?
2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?

This, then, is God's way to victory over all sin. As you begin to put your full weight upon the truths of Romans 6, as you, by faith, trust that they are true of you no matter what you feel or do, it is then they will begin to shape how you live.

No spiritual truth, however, is powerful in a life not lived in moment-by-moment surrender to God. And so it is that half of what Paul wrote in Romans 6 about being free from sin was taken up with being surrendered to God as His "slave of righteousness." One can reckon on their death to sin all they like, but if they are not also living in full submission to God's will and way, if they are not constantly decreasing so that God might increase, that reckoning will have no effect. Paul wrote that the Christian believer is to be presenting him/herself to God to control and use as He wishes. (Romans 6:13) A believer should not be praying "God help me" so much as "God replace me. Assert your mind and heart in me. Take control of my desires and will and make me a vessel sanctified and fit for your use."

In the surrender and reckoning of the believer, then, freedom from all sin is found. This is God's way to freedom, centered upon Him, not the modern, worldly, self-centered method that the present-day Church has largely adopted.

I know I've given you a lot to digest. If you want to hash out in more detail what I've explained to you in this post, let me know.

PizzaAddict said:

1.God designed male and female to reproduce and have fun together .
Your real problem is having no husband
l.If you watched inappropriate content while being married that would be something different than what you experience now , you simply burn with lust for husband.

2.Smoking weed is not bad nor is it prohibited , actually weed is herb and can be digested , also used to heal many sickness plus is used in preparing anointing oil in Bible.

The real issue is you simply use alcohol and weed as something to forget for a while that you have problems and use it as an escape. Fix whatever is bothering you , get husband and you will be fine. Don't run away from your problems face them.

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Well said - I hope this young lady gets that...

She has normal sexual desires that are simply not being managed via a healthy sexual relationship.

Churches are not so much a club for the righteous as they are hospitals for sinners

There is NO condemnation to them in Christ Jesus. He does not condemn you judge you make you feel guilty bad fearful worry doubt.. He loves you.. He took you just as you are. And if you can trust Him right now in this moment that what you seem to not be able to change.. allow Him by faith not feeling hearing seeing anything..just knowing that if you ask..He will help and you will stop all of this. For what He HAS started in you..He will finish.

So.. confess yours sins.. get up dust off and keep going. And remind the devil .. no..there is no condemnation to them in Christ Jesus.. no if I confess my sins He is faithful and just to forgive me of my sins. And you MUST! MUST know He forgives and does not will not remember them ever..EVER!

NEVER run away from the one that loves you most. What you see is WHY is He still smiling at me.. WHY are His arms still open? He NEVER leaves you.. He is not like man... when all fail and leave.. He is STILL WITH YOU!

TheStrugglingChristian said:

I'll be honest, I've been having a really tough time with these sins. And right now I'm really wanting to smoke, but I know I'll feel guilty about it and it will make my mood worse. I was doing so well with not looking at inappropriate content and masturbating but I failed the other day. I feel like I will always just fail no matter how much progress I make. And I know I've been taking steps to better myself and my walk with God. I joined a new church that my friends brought me too and have even been making new Christian friends and going to worship and prayer nights. But I still feel disconnected alot. I look at everyone else and wish I could be that close to God and not want to do all of these sins, but I keep failing... and I feel God is keeping things away from me like finding a husband because of all of these issues. I'm really emotionally tired about it all to be honest. Why is this so hard? Thanks for reading this. I didn't want to bother any of my friends. I've never even told them about my issue with inappropriate content.

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1. I'm reading the @YouVersion plan 'Stormproof Men'. Check it out here:
Stormproof Men

Marijuana might make you feel good but will always have bad long lasting side effects, even by smoking it once. It makes you mentally blind. Some people might not agree. However, marijuana amplifies whatever is inside your mind (emotions). Sexual urges will get amplified. Even your memory will fail to work properly, which will lead to wrong decisions, ignorance and suffering. Marijuana also makes you not need company, it's hard to mate with someone when using this. I could tell you alot about this crapy drug but this should be enough reasons to stop. I suggest you to do this:
Throw the drugs now. They are all crap, have nothing good to contribute. As time passes the THC will disappear from your body (takes about 3 months). Then you will need to let time do its job so your mind can function properly. Also see this post about masturbation: inappropriate content and social anxiety

When you stop using drugs and masturbation you will most probably feel depressed and any other negative emotions, and I beleive they will pass away as time passes. Avoiding drugs and masturbation makes your mind clear, helping you to do good decisions and understanding life better.

TheStrugglingChristian said:

and I feel God is keeping things away from me like finding a husband because of all of these issues.

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entering into a marriage relationship with a ripe addiction to inappropriate content is really really bad, for you, and for your spouse. the LORD knows best.

TheStrugglingChristian said:

I didn't want to bother any of my friends. I've never even told them about my issue with inappropriate content.

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i'm not gonna tell you to go announce this to your whole congregation but you need to find someone you trust and share this with them so you can have some accountability and help to overcome this. if your friends are truly your friends, they'll support you in this fight.

do you see yourself as a born again believer and follower of Jesus Christ?

TheStrugglingChristian said:

I'll be honest, I've been having a really tough time with these sins.

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“Whatever overcomes a man,
to that he is enslaved.” 2 Peter 2:19
Rings tragically true for many.

“But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer,but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed” (James 1:25).

Our Creator’s eternal spiritual law of right living is perfect, holy, just, good and loving. Psalm 19:7; 111:7-8; Romans 7:12, 14;13:10

Turn your attitude toward God.
Pray (Philippians 4:6; Hebrews 4:16).

Read God’s Word to learn His will
(Ephesians 5:17). Read God’s commands
for moderation and temperance (Philippians
4:5; 1 Corinthians 9:25) and His outlawing
of selfish excess (Prov 23:29-30; Eph 5:18).

Understand that addiction is a battle of the
mind: “But every man is tempted, when he
is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth
forth sin: and sin, when it is finished,
bringeth forth death” (James 1:14-15).

The strength to do comes from God
(Matthew 19:17-26). Sincerely, humbly,
believingly, obediently turn to Him, and
God will bless your efforts (Philippians 4:9).

Heed James 1:14-15. If something physical is tempting you, immediately remove it from your environment—or remove yourself! Flee from it!
(1 Corinthians 6:18).

Take that action, and God will give you
strength, both this time and the next
(James 4:7-8).

You must replace the bad with the good—
your enslavement with freedom Eph 4:25-29

Take out the sin and put in prayer, reading
the Bible, helping others, laboring, exercise,
right music, productive reading, working,
family time. Remember:

The mind is where the battle is won.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just,whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

Turn to your Creator, He will help you! Take
the first step. Pray to God. Read scriptures.

He will break you out of addiction and lead
you to the abundant life He created you to
live “If the Son therefore shall make you
free, ye shall be free indeed” (John 8:36).

And remember Jesus’s words: With
men it is impossible, but not with God:
for with God all things are possible.

TheStrugglingChristian said:

The more I dwell deeper into God and his word the more I am realizing this. Before I never understood why I would be so attacked even though I seemed to be doing things right. But it makes sense. I was so blinded from my sin that when I started seeing what I was doing was wrong, I actually kind of wished I hadn't because the truth hurt too much. But he's worth fighting this battle for the rest of my life. Thank you for your reply

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From my experience, it sounds like you need deliverance from the demons that led you down that path before you came to Christ.
If your church is not into such things, then find one that is.

If its difficult for you to speak to anyone directly about these things, then there are specialist deliverance ministries that will help you.

Many will tell you demons can't indwell Christians, but from over 40 years of casting demons out, I know they most certainly do. Driving them out changes everything.

Chart your monthly cycle and make note of your ovulation window. That will be the most difficult time. I'm not opposed to masturbation in and of itself but when it's combined with inappropriate content (and drugs) that's a different thing, so it is probably best to avoid altogether in your case.
Ignore that keyboard warrior on the thread who wants to expel you as an evil heathen.
I'm currently 13 days sober from alcohol and I know it's hard when an addiction has its grip. *hugs*