I think I'm unregnerate, reprobate, vessel of wrath, despairing, tried all I can think of

Techedtchr said:

I don't have any. I have no godly sorrow for my sin. I am impenitent. Without that, there is no forgiveness.

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Good answer. If you had said "I prayed the sinners' prayer." or "I confessed all my sins." or I promised God I would follow Him the rest of my life." etc then you would be trusting in yourself. But your answer shows that you realize you cannot trust in your own works. You have given up on yourself and don't know what to do.

When you come to Jesus to believe His Gospel you come with nothing but your sin; you don't come to Him with "hey look at what I did," no you come to Him because of what HE did on the cross.
Sorrow for sin doesn't save you. Jesus doesn't tell us to come to Him to say "sorry I sinned." He wants us to just admit to Him the we are a hopeless sinner who needs a savior, and that we are placing our trust in Him as the One who saves us.

Christians responding to your post here in this thread were at some time in our lives lost & in unbelief just as you are now. I, myself, was about as confused & miserable as you are. I didn't think it was possible for me to ever find my to out the mess I was in. Yet, God didn't give up on me, and I didn't stop searching. Honestly, even though I was raised in a Baptist church, I wasn't really sure God was real, but the thing that drove me to keep looking was the fear of going to hell. Does that sound familiar to you? I believe God uses us to help unbelievers find their way to Him. Not that we can ever convince yo to believe, but we can share how we found our way to believing. Of course we quote scripture & tell you to read the bible because that is where we found the truth we needed so that God convinced us to believe. You don't know at what moment when you are reading something in the bible God will use it to "turn on a light" in your mind & you will suddenly "get it." That's exactly what He did for at the time when I thought it was impossible for me to ever find anything that would convince me to believe. Your need probably is different from my need; God might use some scripture in an entirely different part of the bible from what He used to convince me. He knows what it is you need to see for you to "get it" to be convinced.

There is hope for you!
John

Yeah lots of hope.

Dont think prayers go unanswered, God always hears them. From my personal experience, sometimes it can take weeks before it happens. I have had prayers answered that have taken so long, i have forgotten that i prayed for it, then it happens and i remember.

Why do they take so long sometimes?
Has nothing to do with God being slow, but me being slow. He needs to lead you into other things, before he can show you the answer. He needs to pull all that mud to the surface of your heart and deal with it, beforehand.


Eg. If your praying for him to help you trust him, well he may lead your heart into a place of despair, so that you have no other choice but to place your trust in him. Ect ect. God loves you and he puts you through these things so that you can come to him.

Everyones different and requires different things. God knows what you need, and its not always easy.

However these are my experiences and not yours, but God gave us these experiences, by putting us through these things and similar things to you. Alot have been there and alot have come through for the better. God teaches us through them.

Just remember, God loves you, and his right there with you. Dont give up hope.

diana092086 said:

Again, i could be wrong, but you can still go to Him - godly sorrow or not. Tell Him you don't grieve over your sin. It might not seem like you're forgiven, it might not feel like you're forgiven but just trust that you're forgiven. Trust that He's working on you. It might seem like nothing has changed or is different, but trust anyway. I'm right there with you. Just keep going to Him - follow your own advice - you know what you're talking about! Just follow it whether you believe it or not, feel like it or not, whether it seems fake or not. These are things others have told me that have helped (maybe not right away, but things are coming together)

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Yes, diana you are right about that. Romans 2:4 "Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?"
For some people, the goodness of God convinces them to repent. Remember, repentance is a change of mind about your need to be forgiven and about God's way of forgiveness.
You have given good advise here. We don't know how much God wants to save each one of us. I believe He is more desperate to save us than we are to have His salvation.
John

Techedtchr said:

I can't draw near. My heart won't allow it. It's over.

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You can't trust your heart. You might find the following article helpful.

Repentance - Godly Sorrow

ldonjohn said:

You can't trust your heart. You might find the following article helpful.

Repentance - Godly Sorrow

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Much of what I am experiencing is ungodly sorrow. I would think I would know if my whole heart is involved vs. just giving lip service which I know is the case now.

ldonjohn said:

Yes, diana you are right about that. Romans 2:4 "Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?"
For some people, the goodness of God convinces them to repent. Remember, repentance is a change of mind about your need to be forgiven and about God's way of forgiveness.
You have given good advise here. We don't know how much God wants to save each one of us. I believe He is more desperate to save us than we are to have His salvation.
John

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I would also imagine that during your period of seeking, your prayers were desperate and tear filled. Mine are quite lifeless. Feels like I am just mouthing words and having thoughts. Even whatever desperation I have is fake. I'm not just beating up on myself. I'm telling the truth.

Techedtchr said:

I would also imagine that during your period of seeking, your prayers were desperate and tear filled. Mine are quite lifeless. Feels like I am just mouthing words and having thoughts. Even whatever desperation I have is fake. I'm not just beating up on myself. I'm telling the truth.

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Actually, my prayers were desperate, but not tear filled, and were without saving faith. At that time my faith was focused on myself trying to make myself believe. That was misplaced faith, not saving faith.
Regards,
John

Techedtchr,
Have you read Romans 2:4, "Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?"
Some people "repent" or change their mind toward God because of His goodness to them; not out of fear of going to hell.
By the way, the "fear of hell" was the reason i had a change of mind to seek after God.
Regards,
John

ldonjohn said:

Actually, my prayers were desperate, but not tear filled, and were without saving faith. At that time my faith was focused on myself trying to make myself believe. That was misplaced faith, not saving faith.
Regards,
John

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My concern is that I could honestly be unconcerned if I wanted to be. Like there are times I know I should pray but would rather do something else. And did you ever profess faith before this? I professed at around 10 and was baptized. And went on to ungodly living without much of a care. You were an honest seeker. I don't think I am.

Techedtchr said:

My concern is that I could honestly be unconcerned if I wanted to be. Like there are times I know I should pray but would rather do something else. And did you ever profess faith before this? I professed at around 10 and was baptized. And went on to ungodly living without much of a care. You were an honest seeker. I don't think I am.

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Yes, I was "saved" at age 13 & baptized. But it was not real. I went to the altar because the preacher walked up & down the isle begging people to go to the altar, and when he got to me I went down. I was under the influence of that preacher; not of the Holy Spirit.
My "salvation" didn't last long and soon I forgot all about God.
John

Techedtchr, I will add to my last post that much of what I had heard in church was the reason I was so confused about "believing." I will admit that I should take the responsibility or blame for it all because I never actually read the bible outside of church until I finally became desperate to know the truth about God.
I think many preachers care more about numbers than they do about lost people coming to a saving faith in the Lord. Yes, I could be wrong about that, but I think it anyway.
John

ldonjohn said:

Techedtchr, I will add to my last post that much of what I had heard in church was the reason I was so confused about "believing." I will admit that I should take the responsibility or blame for it all because I never actually read the bible outside of church until I finally became desperate to know the truth about God.
I think many preachers care more about numbers than they do about lost people coming to a saving faith in the Lord. Yes, I could be wrong about that, but I think it anyway.
John

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I don't think it's intellectual for me, I think it's will. Getting the will to carry out what Jesus requires. I don't know what's missing. My other problem is that I kept sitting under gospel teaching and heard the gospel over and over again (I still went to church for many years) and I fear I am unresponsive to it now. At what age did God clear up your fog? Probably at a younger age than I. I am almost 40 and heard gospel preaching most all my life. God will only let that go on for so long before He says "enough". That's one reason why I'm worried. I can only be brought to faith by the Spirit, and if I have outraged Him, it's over.

I'm not wishing any kind of crisis on you but it might be something that crashes your world down that changes everything.

Leet said:

I'm not wishing any kind of crisis on you but it might be something that crashes your world down that changes everything.

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Better that than to go to hell. I have actually been hoping for some kind of calamity, something that would indicate that God is at work.

** nevermind, I feel wrong about what I just said.

Leet said:

** nevermind, I feel wrong about what I just said.

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No offense taken. I have been wondering if God would use a crisis to get through to me. I've wondered how I would react.

diana092086 said:

Ugh... just when i think I'm getting it, doubts come back. I fear that too - that I've heard the Gospel too much that it has no affect on me. And I'm only getting older too. And i fear that i know so much that i think it's me leading me with my knowledge rather than the Holy Spirit leading me.

Maybe instead of listening to our fears and doubts, we should trust God - trust what He says. Forget about any feelings or thoughts or whatever but just trust that He forgives us? Easier said than done but maybe that's what we need to do? I don't know? Because we can't trust ourselves - i think that's what we've been doing.

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Pray, read, hope 'til we're saved or we die.

Techedtchr said:

I don't think it's intellectual for me, I think it's will. Getting the will to carry out what Jesus requires. I don't know what's missing. My other problem is that I kept sitting under gospel teaching and heard the gospel over and over again (I still went to church for many years) and I fear I am unresponsive to it now. At what age did God clear up your fog? Probably at a younger age than I. I am almost 40 and heard gospel preaching most all my life. God will only let that go on for so long before He says "enough". That's one reason why I'm worried. I can only be brought to faith by the Spirit, and if I have outraged Him, it's over.

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Mid 30's. It isn't over until you die. If the Holy Spirit isn't working on you then you wouldn't be on this Christian website searching for answers.
I sat in church for many year listening to the Gospel. One big problem for me was preachers who would say things like "you have to repent & confess all your sins," or you have to make a public confession of Jesus," or "if you really meant business with God when you said that prayer then He saved you," or "you have to promise to serve God for the rest of your life," or "you have to accept Jesus as Lord or He won't be your savior," and so on, and that would have me doubting whether or not I had done all of those things.
God cleared up those doubts when He showed me that He wasn't looking for promises, confessing, sorrow, sincerity, etc from me; no, He removed the blindness from my eyes and allowed me to see that when Jesus died on the cross, shedding His blood there, He did all that God requires for me to be forgiven; all I needed to do was to come to Him with all my sin and receive the pardon that He purchased with His blood.
How did I do that? Well, again, it wasn't anything I did like muster up within myself a great sense of faith, and then beg Him to save me. No, it was God who put within me an overwhelming urge to call out to Jesus. I sensed his presence almost as though He was right there in the room with me. I did not even think about my faith, whether or not it was great faith or weak faith. I did not think about whether or not I really meant business with God, or if I was sincere enough about the matter, I didn't think that I had to confess all my sins, or that I needed to promise Him I would serve Him the rest of my life; all I could think was that He had taken care of my need to have my sin forgiven, and that He was waiting for me to simply come to Him so He could do that for me. By the way, that happened just as I had finished reading John chapters 1-6, especially verse 37 in chapter 6 where Jesus said He would not turn away anyone who comes to Him to receive His forgiveness. One thing I realize about faith is that the weakest faith is saving faith as long as the object of that faith is Jesus' death on the cross & shed blood there for the remission of sin.
Hey, sorry for such long posts; I can't help myself sometimes.
John

diana092086 said:

Ugh... just when i think I'm getting it, doubts come back. I fear that too - that I've heard the Gospel too much that it has no affect on me. And I'm only getting older too. And i fear that i know so much that i think it's me leading me with my knowledge rather than the Holy Spirit leading me.

Maybe instead of listening to our fears and doubts, we should trust God - trust what He says. Forget about any feelings or thoughts or whatever but just trust that He forgives us? Easier said than done but maybe that's what we need to do? I don't know? Because we can't trust ourselves - i think that's what we've been doing.

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That's great advice, Diana. May I suggest that first you make your salvation sure, then leave the rest up to God.
Diana, may I also suggest that you re-read the sermon "How to Come to Jesus" by Dr. Rice. It offers valuable information for someone who is seeking answers about how to believe.
John