Is it wrong of me to sit at my mothers grave and talk to her?

baptistgirl21 said:

I recently lost my mom and almost every day and night, I'll say "I love you mommy and I miss you", while crying. It sorta helps me cope, even when I'm at her grave. I'll tell her about my day and that I love her so much. Now I'm really afraid to do that because the bible says not to communicate with the dead. It's not that I'm trying to communicate with her as much as I am trying to cope. I do ask God to let my mom know that I'm doing ok and I miss her very much, but I don't use ouija boards. It's evil to use those things. I don't even intend to pray to my mom, I'm just expressing the pain I feel without her. I just feel so alone without her here with me. But I do know she's in heaven because she served the Lord with everything in her. Tomorrow is my birthday and it's the first birthday ever without mom. I just wish I could have a sign from God that will allow mom to visit me. Just for a few seconds . That's all I ask But now that I'm thinking about it, that sign could make me want to ask for more signs, which could turn into an addiction. But just for my birthday, a little birthday visit would be nice.
Does she even know it's my birthday tomorrow? Does she even remember me?

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Mourning is a deeply personal experience even for those who mourn with the hope we have been given. No one can or should seek to curtail or make the mourning period extend. I would think from the sounds of it you are doing just about normal on a mourning scale, which there are none. Take the time to mourn and do it in a healthy Christian extent. You and your mom must have had a special relationship and celebrate that as you can and the Lord is with you in all of it the hurt and the joy.

Lord, I ask you to be liberal in your pouting out of you Holy Spirit. Let not the sorrow block out the of the one who has left to be with you. Rally those who can help during this time and when any of us have finished our days of morning may we return may we know that even in this work all things for good for those who are loved by you. Thank you .Lord that we never have to walk without you at our side. In your Holy Sons Name, amen

Catholic Christians often ask for deceased loved ones known to have been especially near to God to pray for them, and we can pray for them, too.

We also often ask the Saints for prayers and help, and even converse with them, too.

Long story short, it's not weird. It's normal. It's normal to miss your mom, to still talk to her, and to want her to know that you love and miss her.

Those who die in Christ have not truly died, anyway. According to Christ.

I'm sorry for what happened. Hope you find comfort in your other love ones.

Yes, your mom remembers you.
Yes, your mom is aware it's your birthday.

Scripture says the saints in heaven pray for those on earth.

When my parents died; instead of talking to them, I prayed to God about them. It's OK to tell Him you miss your mom. It's OK to ask God about your mom. I asked God about my dad.

My mother was not a believer and I knew that. So I just left her ultimate destiny up to God's prerogative. (That's all any of us can do.)

Dad on the other hand was a troubled soul. He struggled a lot with issues of faith. Had he found peace before he died? I don't know; so at one point I decided to ask God that and just open the Bible to a random verse and see what I got?

I got this:

Mark 16:14
Afterward He appeared unto the eleven as they sat at meat, and upbraided them with their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they believed not them which had seen him after he was risen.

One of us has an unorthodox sense of humor: me or God, I can't tell.

So, ask God about your mom as much as you wish. You can even just randomly look up Bible verses. That's actually kind of fun. With either of those things; you can do them with a clear conscience, because you are not violating any Scriptural principles. Looking up Bible verses this way; also helps you remember them.

I'd also done this random verse look up at one point when I was struggling a lot to get Desert Storm out of my head. It'd been stuck there for about 10 years.

And here's the verse I got on that one:

Joel 2:
25 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

26 And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.

(There've been a lot of locusts in my life.)

Here's my random verses for you:

Genesis 3:20
And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.

Luke 24
4 And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments:

5 And as they wereafraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead?

6 He is not here, but is risen: remember how he spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee,

Revelation 21
4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

You do need to be careful about crossing into the realm of trying to communicate with the dead, though you've said nothing to indicate that you have already done that. In Deuteronomy 18:11 God warns about necromancy (attempting to communicate with the dead) and utterly forbids it. But you said you are talking to her to cope, and not to communicate, and if that's all it is I don't see any reason to believe that is necromancy. It's important though that you don't cross that line and attempt direct communication. However to tell God that you want her to know something is different; and God will do with that request whatever He sees fit to do with it. I see this is an opportunity to draw near to God. He is the only One with power to be with you always and He is the only sure refuge. A mother's love is great, especially when she is a faithful believer who loves God in truth, and I'm sorry for your loss. Your mother was a gift from God- and consider how wonderful it is that you still have the giver of such a great gift to be there for you. That should be a great encouragement in your grief. And one aspect of drawing near to Him can be thanking Him for your mother. These are some related Scriptures that come to mind. -Psalm 61:1-3, Psalm 27:9-10, John 15:10, Philippians 4:6-7

baptistgirl21 said:

I recently lost my mom and almost every day and night, I'll say "I love you mommy and I miss you", while crying. It sorta helps me cope, even when I'm at her grave. I'll tell her about my day and that I love her so much. Now I'm really afraid to do that because the bible says not to communicate with the dead. It's not that I'm trying to communicate with her as much as I am trying to cope. I do ask God to let my mom know that I'm doing ok and I miss her very much, but I don't use ouija boards. It's evil to use those things. I don't even intend to pray to my mom, I'm just expressing the pain I feel without her. I just feel so alone without her here with me. But I do know she's in heaven because she served the Lord with everything in her. Tomorrow is my birthday and it's the first birthday ever without mom. I just wish I could have a sign from God that will allow mom to visit me. Just for a few seconds . That's all I ask But now that I'm thinking about it, that sign could make me want to ask for more signs, which could turn into an addiction. But just for my birthday, a little birthday visit would be nice.
Does she even know it's my birthday tomorrow? Does she even remember me?

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Baptistgirl there is nothing wrong with remembering your loved ones I often do so by reflecting on photo’s or visiting grave sites of loved ones . I’m also sure many of us have asked for just one moment in time to be able to embrace and feel our loved ones again. So you are not alone. This life is rather short but eternity is not I’m sure you will look apon many loved ones again

baptistgirl21 said:

I recently lost my mom and almost every day and night, I'll say "I love you mommy and I miss you", while crying. It sorta helps me cope, even when I'm at her grave. I'll tell her about my day and that I love her so much. Now I'm really afraid to do that because the bible says not to communicate with the dead. It's not that I'm trying to communicate with her as much as I am trying to cope. I do ask God to let my mom know that I'm doing ok and I miss her very much, but I don't use ouija boards. It's evil to use those things. I don't even intend to pray to my mom, I'm just expressing the pain I feel without her. I just feel so alone without her here with me. But I do know she's in heaven because she served the Lord with everything in her. Tomorrow is my birthday and it's the first birthday ever without mom. I just wish I could have a sign from God that will allow mom to visit me. Just for a few seconds . That's all I ask But now that I'm thinking about it, that sign could make me want to ask for more signs, which could turn into an addiction. But just for my birthday, a little birthday visit would be nice.
Does she even know it's my birthday tomorrow? Does she even remember me?

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I would not recommend it. Praying to the dead is forbidden. Seek God in your times of grief. Dead people cant hear you there is no resurrection until Christ comes back again. You open up doors to the demonic realm when you do that. "
Living for God
4 Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. For we have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles—when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries. In regard to these, they think it strange that you do not run with them in the same flood of
(1 Peter 4)" and "The Comfort of Christ’s Coming But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words. ( 1 Thessalonians 4). "“When you come into the land that the Lordyour God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominable practices of those nations. There shall not be found among you anyone who burns his son or his daughter as an offering, anyone who practices divination or tells fortunes or interprets omens, or a sorcerer or a charmer or a medium or a necromancer or one who inquires of the dead, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord. And because of these abominations the Lord your God is driving them out before you. (Deuteronomy 18:9-12)

I don't do it often, but there have been times when I've told my parents, both of whom are gone, how much I appreciate all they did for me, that I'm sorry for the strife we had, and that all is forgiven. I don't use them as spiritual buddies, I don't ask them for spiritual information or use them as a go-between to God in any way.I have zero doubt that this is a healthy thing to do both emotionally and spiritually, especially in a case like yours, when one is deep in the grief of loss.

Do I think you should cultivate this, or make it habitual or intentional? No. God is our focus, and when all is said and done He is our first and only need. But if this is the way you need to resolve your loss, heal, and find the way forward, then I think it's a good thing. Take it to God and be honest with Him about it, so your conscience is clear and it doesn't become a stumbling block, and someday, when the time is right, ask Him to help you move on. But if you need to grieve for now, it's ok and very healthy to do so.

The problem with asking for signs is that the devil may try and give some of his. Thus, be sure to ask God to block anything from the enemy. Also, though you did not ask this, one thing that you might try to help your grief would be to dance before the Lord. It is an act of faith that you can press into God and give him thanks in the form of a dance and while dong so ease some of the pain out.

i'm in trouble then. i talk to my mother's portrait all the time like she's in the room with me. she passed away in 2013.

I sometimes talk to my Mom, who passed away a couple years ago. Talking to her is not praying. We pray to the Father, son and Holy Spirit only. I rarely think of her as being in a grave. I know she is not her body. She is walking with God, like she did on Earth, only with no limitations now.

renniks said:

I sometimes talk to my Mom, who passed away a couple years ago. Talking to her is not praying. We pray to the Father, son and Holy Spirit only. I rarely think of her as being in a grave. I know she is not her body. She is walking with God, like she did on Earth, only with no limitations now.

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There is no reason as you are doing not to do it. You understand what it is to do it in a healthy manner and you recognize what is unhealthy and dangerous. If I may suggest a wise teaching is the cord of three not being easily broke. If you can find two other believers who will commit to you and who you will commit to them. Prayer and other support. Knowing you are not alone. Fellowship and being able to experience what the Body of Christ is meant to function like. Do you journal? Do you read your Bible it is the food we need as we move through this wilderness of sin.
last thing, I know I talk a lot, the Lord has put in His Word 365 times the call upon us to have joy, rejoice an so on. He knows how important it is, there will be sounds of joy and victory from the tents of the righteous. You have a Husband who is with you always and He says we do not have to wait to be together in heaven to do what will be doing for all eternity right now.

baptistgirl21 said:

I recently lost my mom and almost every day and night, I'll say "I love you mommy and I miss you", while crying. It sorta helps me cope, even when I'm at her grave. I'll tell her about my day and that I love her so much. Now I'm really afraid to do that because the bible says not to communicate with the dead. It's not that I'm trying to communicate with her as much as I am trying to cope. I do ask God to let my mom know that I'm doing ok and I miss her very much, but I don't use ouija boards. It's evil to use those things. I don't even intend to pray to my mom, I'm just expressing the pain I feel without her. I just feel so alone without her here with me. But I do know she's in heaven because she served the Lord with everything in her. Tomorrow is my birthday and it's the first birthday ever without mom. I just wish I could have a sign from God that will allow mom to visit me. Just for a few seconds . That's all I ask But now that I'm thinking about it, that sign could make me want to ask for more signs, which could turn into an addiction. But just for my birthday, a little birthday visit would be nice.
Does she even know it's my birthday tomorrow? Does she even remember me?

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Mourning is something that scripture speaks about. Sin has brought death into the world. We are to mourn our sins and the deaths that sin has caused. If you think your mother hears you or that she intervenes in your life, that's superstitious and therefore sin. On the other hand if you're simply speaking because you miss her that wouldn't per se be sin. I would be on guard against being superstitious about it though.

baptistgirl21 said:

I recently lost my mom and almost every day and night, I'll say "I love you mommy and I miss you", while crying. It sorta helps me cope, even when I'm at her grave. I'll tell her about my day and that I love her so much. Now I'm really afraid to do that because the bible says not to communicate with the dead. It's not that I'm trying to communicate with her as much as I am trying to cope. I do ask God to let my mom know that I'm doing ok and I miss her very much, but I don't use ouija boards. It's evil to use those things. I don't even intend to pray to my mom, I'm just expressing the pain I feel without her. I just feel so alone without her here with me. But I do know she's in heaven because she served the Lord with everything in her. Tomorrow is my birthday and it's the first birthday ever without mom. I just wish I could have a sign from God that will allow mom to visit me. Just for a few seconds . That's all I ask But now that I'm thinking about it, that sign could make me want to ask for more signs, which could turn into an addiction. But just for my birthday, a little birthday visit would be nice.
Does she even know it's my birthday tomorrow? Does she even remember me?

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No. It's is not wrong from my imo. There are no dead in Christ. I see it as a form of prayer.

baptistgirl21 said:

I recently lost my mom and almost every day and night, I'll say "I love you mommy and I miss you", while crying. It sorta helps me cope, even when I'm at her grave. I'll tell her about my day and that I love her so much. Now I'm really afraid to do that because the bible says not to communicate with the dead. It's not that I'm trying to communicate with her as much as I am trying to cope. I do ask God to let my mom know that I'm doing ok and I miss her very much, but I don't use ouija boards. It's evil to use those things. I don't even intend to pray to my mom, I'm just expressing the pain I feel without her. I just feel so alone without her here with me. But I do know she's in heaven because she served the Lord with everything in her. Tomorrow is my birthday and it's the first birthday ever without mom. I just wish I could have a sign from God that will allow mom to visit me. Just for a few seconds . That's all I ask But now that I'm thinking about it, that sign could make me want to ask for more signs, which could turn into an addiction. But just for my birthday, a little birthday visit would be nice.
Does she even know it's my birthday tomorrow? Does she even remember me?

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We always carry our loved ones in our hearts. Remember her as the person she was. She wouldn't want you to be sad ... remember the birthdays you and her celebrated together ... look forward to seeing her again in heaven ... your fond memories of her are with you until you meet again in heaven.

God Bless.

baptistgirl21 said:

I just wish I could have a sign from God that will allow mom to visit me. Just for a few seconds . That's all I ask But now that I'm thinking about it, that sign could make me want to ask for more signs, which could turn into an addiction. But just for my birthday, a little birthday visit would be nice.
Does she even know it's my birthday tomorrow? Does she even remember me?

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This would be contrary to Scripture, a violation of God's Own Word.

baptistgirl21 said:

I recently lost my mom and almost every day and night, I'll say "I love you mommy and I miss you", while crying. It sorta helps me cope, even when I'm at her grave. I'll tell her about my day and that I love her so much. Now I'm really afraid to do that because the bible says not to communicate with the dead. It's not that I'm trying to communicate with her as much as I am trying to cope. I do ask God to let my mom know that I'm doing ok and I miss her very much, but I don't use ouija boards. It's evil to use those things. I don't even intend to pray to my mom, I'm just expressing the pain I feel without her. I just feel so alone without her here with me. But I do know she's in heaven because she served the Lord with everything in her. Tomorrow is my birthday and it's the first birthday ever without mom. I just wish I could have a sign from God that will allow mom to visit me. Just for a few seconds . That's all I ask But now that I'm thinking about it, that sign could make me want to ask for more signs, which could turn into an addiction. But just for my birthday, a little birthday visit would be nice.
Does she even know it's my birthday tomorrow? Does she even remember me?

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Seems to be OK as long as you realize that she cannot hear you.

M-Bob

I'm so sorry for your loss. You're going through one of the hardest things any of us can go through. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing. As for communicating with the dead, I really feel God's commandment regarding for that was for our own mental health and grieving process. So many who are desperate to reach the dead get caught up with con artists who can prey on them in their grief, which starts a destructive cycle that can cause the person's sanity to suffer, drain them of their money, break up families, and start destroying their connection with God. You are not doing any of that - you are expressing grief the best way you can, and talking aloud to your mother gives you comfort. God is our greatest comfort during our most trying of struggles, but sometimes during grief it is hard not to feel more alone than we are. I sent up a prayer for you.