My Girlfriend does not want to have fellowship with others

Aldrin25 said:

she does not want coz she is shy she said... she is getting shy to get fellowship to others.

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I remember a story about a women that was so much of a recluse that her husband was about the only one she would talk to. She was very devoted to him and she would leave notes professing her love for him

LoreneDD said:

Praying to the saints doesn’t count as fellowship imo

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Mind you I have great fellowship with people who have passed away that have written wonderful books about heavenly things! Some of my greatest fellowship moments. Listening to their exact words from which they received revelation.

LoreneDD said:

Praying to the saints doesn’t count as fellowship imo

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I was recently talking to my sister. She wanted me to know that she was setting up a house there for our family to get together. We had a cabin here we would use during the summer to get the whole family together. There is actually a lot of story here, but I doubt if your interested. Talking to people in Heaven is a lot like texting. The messages are very brief and to the point.

I have conversations with my son in Heaven also. For example I saw a reference to Tony Hawk being 51 years old. So I asked my son if he still remembers Tony. He said yes, Tony has LOTS of fans or followers in Heaven and they even have a BIG Tony Hawk Skate park there.

As far as prayer, I did ask my loved ones to pray for me once. I got good results because they really know HOW to pray in Heaven. I do not know about your prayer to saints, that sounds like a Catholic things. We are told to come boldly before the Throne of Grace. Also we are told that the Angels collect our prayers like Incense to place in the Golden Bowl before the Throne of God.

Sounds like a nice suggestion though, to get people there to intercede for us here.

joshua 1 9 said:

I was recently talking to my sister. She wanted me to know that she was setting up a house there for our family to get together. We had a cabin here we would use during the summer to get the whole family together. There is actually a lot of story here, but I doubt if your interested. Talking to people in Heaven is a lot like texting. The messages are very brief and to the point.

I have conversations with my son in Heaven also. For example I saw a reference to Tony Hawk being 51 years old. So I asked my son if he still remembers Tony. He said yes, Tony has LOTS of fans or followers in Heaven and they even have a BIG Tony Hawk Skate park there.

As far as prayer, I did ask my loved ones to pray for me once. I got good results because they really know HOW to pray in Heaven. I do not know about your prayer to saints, that sounds like a Catholic things. We are told to come boldly before the Throne of Grace. Also we are told that the Angels collect our prayers like Incense to place in the Golden Bowl before the Throne of God.

Sounds like a nice suggestion though, to get people there to intercede for us here.

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I’m not going to listen to anyone but that still small voice, thanks, never know who is posing as angel of light. It still remains questionable as to who is or is not still asleep, Tabitha.

LoreneDD said:

I have great fellowship with people who have passed away that have written wonderful books about heavenly things!

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It is interesting to think about the people who write out Bible and how real they are. I like the story about Mark and Paul when they were on a mission trip and Mark wanted to go home early. He was still young and maybe a bit to much of a mamma's boy. Paul was mad at Mark but Luke was able to get him to resolve their issue. Even Paul says later on that Mark brought him some books and he as very grateful. So Mark was able to make things up with Paul.

When we see how human these people are then we can see great accomplishments in rather ordinary and normal people. All praise, honor and glory belongs to God.

LoreneDD said:

It still remains questionable as to who is or is not still asleep

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Dreams are different. I had a dream about my daughter in Heaven and that was very vivid. I remember once I had a high definition dream before high definition TV came out. When I first saw high definition TV I though: Oh I had a dream about this once.

There is a women on YouTube: Kat Kerr. She has "been" to Heaven over 1,000 times. Perhaps for some she has a very active imagination. But even if this is fiction, I would rather listen to Christian fiction then the Harry Potter devil sort of fiction. If you remember the flood had to do with the imagination of the heart of the People being evil. So as a Christian our imagination is to be used for good. To bring praise and honor and glory to God.

There is a lot of pain in this world and I would rather think Heavenly thoughts. For example we just had a cat that was eaten by a Raccoon. There is death and destruction here in this world. In Heaven we do not have any of that. Animals are not eating animals there. They live together in peace and harmony. That is the world I want to live in.

I meant Talitha Mark 5:41 I hadn’t meant to post that but someone came to the door and I hit post. Then I forgot about it. Well, g’night!

joshua 1 9 said:

I have a lot of fellowship with people in Heaven.

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Show us in the Bible please.
M-Bob

Mountainmanbob said:

Show us in the Bible please.

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Acts 2:17 "'In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams."

I did have a very vivid dream about a daughter in Heaven. Over time I learned a lot from what I saw in this dream. As far as visions, science would call this quantum entanglement. Because we would have to be in two different places at the same time. We clearly do not go to heaven even though we are observing what is there.

Aldrin25 said:

She does not have, our relationship is almost 3 years.
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@All

By the way guys, the reason why I'm telling this to you, because I love sharing God's Word to those baby Christians and evangelizing..so all female baby Christians I evangelized, I want her to disciple them if ever, but I'm really having difficulty..I think I need to find another leader that will lead these females?

This is one of our conflict...that's my spiritual desire, to make disciples.

but thank you so much guys for advice and encouragement...please pray for me also.

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hmmm, Yes, I would agree that you have a problem, but it's not the one that you think you have.

First you need to realize that God already has something planned for her, just as He also has something planned for you.

So even though the two of you will be husband and wife, (an area which you really need to learn about, BTW) it's not your place for you to dictate the place in your marriage that your wife will fill, nor what duties that she will be doing for you.
She is not an employee, she is your wife and you need to take time to learn how a wife is different from an employee.

And yes, I agree with you that you do need to find another leader with the gifting of shepherding, compassion, and teaching to come along side you in your ministry.
Your job is to fill the nets with the fish and haul them in, but it's the job of your partner in ministry to do the cleaning and preparation so that your ministry can prosper.

You entrust that part of the ministry to your partner, that so you have the time to build and establish the foundations for the marriage between you and your wife in the first years of your marriage, when it really counts.

If you neglect that vital time of preparation between you and your wife, you will live to deeply regret it later, and it will be twice as difficult as it would have been had you done so at the beginning.

You don't want to end your life's work as a popular evangelist who failed at his marriage.

Aldrin25 said:

She does not have, our relationship is almost 3 years.
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@All

By the way guys, the reason why I'm telling this to you, because I love sharing God's Word to those baby Christians and evangelizing..so all female baby Christians I evangelized, I want her to disciple them if ever, but I'm really having difficulty..I think I need to find another leader that will lead these females?

This is one of our conflict...that's my spiritual desire, to make disciples.

but thank you so much guys for advice and encouragement...please pray for me also.

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It's not up to you to say she should disciple them. Her gift might be more helping behind the scenes, making meals and praying. You can't decide for another Christian what their spiritual gifts or strength are. Your gift is making disciples, not hers and nowhere does it say your wife must have the same gifts as you. I think you need to go read 1 Corinthians. Quite often a husband and wifes gifts complement each other, or what one lacks the other makes up for. In fact by trying to make your wife follow your gift you could be taking her away from her intended purpose.

I think that you should discuss this with your "betrothed." You and we can only guess what her issue is with this seemingly aversion to fellowship. Until her specific issue is known we are only shooting in the dark. A happy , joyful, and successful marriage requires OPEN and HONEST COMMUNICATION and a willingness to LISTEN and RESPECT and RESPOND to such in a HARMONIOUS manner. That does not always mean agreement.

Two notes played separately can sound extremely conflicting and abrasive to each other, but when played simultaneously or together, they can create profound beauty, pleasure, peace and glory. In the science of music we learn that each note is actually a multitude of unrecognizable frequencies or tones called overtones. What makes two notes harmonious to each other is that the blending of all of these "unheard" or unseen overtones forms a complimentary relationship. So also, a marriage relationship.

1 Peter 3:7 "7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." (Notice that the last phrase says that one's prayers could be hindered if not done.)

Ephesian 5:25-27 "25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (We husbands are told here that part of our job as husbands is to redeem and sanctify our wives; even as Jesus did that for the church. Think about that LONG and HARD. Jesus did it for us, wives and husbands, unto God the Father, we husbands, for our wives, unto ourselves and humanity. The role of wives of submission unto an imperfect person, is also very difficult and humanly impossible without God's help. Husband and wife must have a powerful connection with God, where they are weak they WILL be challenged. TRUTH and OPEN HONESTY are extremely important BEFORE marriage; I think more so than in the actual marriage as one is committing their WHOLE LIFE to the other and if a serious lie or cover up is discovered AFTER the marriage, it could end up being a living hell, going by other's testimony. Your vow will be similar to "in sickness and in health (no differentiation between physical or mental health given here), for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, till death do us part."

Aldrin25 said:

My Girlfriend is a Christian.. her devotional reading is really good daily... i have seen the fruit on her life..

We're planning to marry next year..

One of our main issue to her spiritual life is having fellowship to other female Christians... when i asked her why, she said next time always..

Then when i want to introduce her to a pastor, which is part of my fellowship group, she does not want coz she is shy she said... she is getting shy to get fellowship to others.. pls help n pray for me.. dunno what to do.. =(

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The Bible says that when a person has "passed from death unto life," which is to say, they have been saved, they will love the brethren (other Christians). Love for others is a prime characteristic of a truly born-again believer. So, when a person tells me they are a Christian but they don't love the people of God (which always involves interacting with them), I have to wonder at their claim to be saved.

1 John 3:14
14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death.

AIKI, He did not say that she said she did not love the people of the Lord. It is interesting that you read that into what he said. It could be that she is afraid of being hurt. The church is not the safe haven it is supposed to be. Many people find that out in a VERY painful way.

I know several Christians who are respectable and mature loving brethren/"sistren" who also have an aversion to fellowship with Christians because of very painful violations to them by the church. Some of them even had their children run away from the church after seeing what happened. Church politics, social engineering, cliques, rumors, and etc. are unfortunately NOT excluded from the church. Please get off of your holier than thou horse; as there ARE those out there who REALLY love the Lord and ARE saved but fearful of the House of the Lord, because in the House there are those who do NOT really make Him Lord other than with their weak muscles of their lips and show nothing in action where the tire meets the road. They would make church nothing but another club to attend and navigate in order to ascribe toward greatness and glorification of themselves stomping on whomever they thought jeopardized their selfish ambition; NO ONE excluded!

No, for these "heathen" you judge, "forsaking the assembling together" is a "sin" that is not unforgivable (are you sinless?) and finding safer worship through the mass media, like in "Turning Point," or "Your Move," or "Leading the Way," or "In Touch," or "Insight for Living," or "Truth Which Transforms," or "Daily Audio Bible" w/Brian, or enjoying one of Ravi Zachariah's symposiums or debates and many more still show their love for the Lord and affords them the teaching and growing, however stifled it may be, we are called to exercise. But for them, right now anyway, church attendance is too dangerous and threatening. They have been hurt REAL bad. The last thing that they need right now is an attempt to put a guilt trip on them for not coming. We are to encourage them in the Lord, not judge them. Shame on you. Now are you going to judge them for using the mass media for worship? Would you rather have them watching..... or going to "Cheers" and drowning their problems? Leave them alone. They will come around in the Lord's time. Love and pray for them.

Aldrin25 said:

One of our main issue to her spiritual life is having fellowship to other female Christians... when i asked her why, she said next time always..
dunno what to do.. =(

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A couple of questions if you don't mind.

Does your girlfriend have girlfriends she talks to, goes out for coffee with, or shopping with?

Does she attend church and is she involved in church activities?

If the answer is no, then you have a problem which needs medical help.

Talk to her, talk to her pastor of the church she is a member of, better still talk to his wife.
If she isn't a church member alarm bells should be ringing.

Ask her how will she take her children to school, wait for them after school, talk with the gaggle of other mums waiting at the school gate or talk to the doctor or nurse when she is pregnant, attend anti natal classes etc etc etc.

My suggestion tell her she is attending your church on sunday, you will collect her, no excuses and introduce her to your pastors wife.

Yes, there is the other side of the coin and she could be trying to hide or conceal which I addressed in my first post, I believe. I was just trying to be objective in scope here and examine this from all possibilities when I said what I did to AIKI. We do not know the reason for her aversion. She could be justifiably afraid of being hurt again or of exposure of sin or something she desires to be unknown. We don't know.

I remember wise counsel I learned after I was married and that is when dating it is invaluable for one to meet and socialize with the other's friends; "birds of a feather flock together." You can find out much about them by who they chose as friends and where they regularly hang out, from how they interact, and what they say to you. And if they don't want you to meet their friends then the deep-rooted why of that needs to be discovered. The same goes for their parents and family. The more interaction which you have with them the more you will discover. One does not want to enter into marriage blind. After you marry, their friends and family WILL be part of your life one way or another anyway. Why not get a start on that now? Yes. I agree that it is best that you two attend the same church, esp if you have plans in place to marry. Get that going asap. Premarital counseling should be MANDATORY worldwide for everyone! Many do not even have a clue of what they are contemplating with each other and their infatuating love for each other tends to cloud logical reasoning and diligent investigation with romantic notions of "and they lived happily ever after" or "love works all things out" or "they don't understand the love we have for each other."

Tolworth John said:

My suggestion tell her she is attending your church on sunday, you will collect her, no excuses and introduce her to your pastors wife.

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This advice is abusive.

She may be more of an introvert? I don't want to talk to my pastor much either. Some people aren't into much fellowship at church other than the strength of worship, prayer and unity. It's not a flaw, just a personality trait to me.