Feels too real, so weird...

I have been tempted with this, too. Often, spiritual, emotional, and psychological aspects are linked. In ways that we can't always untangle.

Small, one sentence prayers often help me.

"Jesus, I trust in You!" is a good one.

Feelings come and go. Some are positive, many, not so positive. Pay less time focusing on them, more time in prayer, doing something you enjoy, listening to good music, or getting exercise.

This probably happens to anyone who gets serious about the Lord, and in itself this is normal. They may even be happening extra in you as an OCD reaction to good desires in you which you so badly want to follow through on. Regardless, an essential aspect of following Jesus and running the Christian race faithfully is fighting through thoughts and feelings that oppose the obedience of Christ and which would lead us away from God's Word if we were to follow through on them; or get discouraged and give up because of their presence. Renounce the bad thoughts and feelings before the Lord and call on Him for strength not to give into them. We are told in Scripture that faith is a race and a fight for good reasons. You have a sure help at God's right hand if you'll just avail yourself of Him. Trust in Him and utilize the help that you need to overcome which He freely offers you!

James 1:12 "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him."

Hebrews 2:16-18: "16 For verily he took not on him the nature of angels; but he took on him the seed of Abraham. 17 Wherefore in all things it behoved him to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people. 18 For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour ( i.e. come to the aid of) them that are tempted."

Hebrews 4:14-16: "14 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. 15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

NoahSK said:

But this doesn't make sense. Even while I was stuck in sin for all those years, I never had these thoughts and feelings before. I would never have thought about walking away from the faith or anything like that. I don't know why this is happening. This is completely new to me.

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You may "feel" apathetic, or whatever feelings you brain sends you, and you can ruminate about those feelings and what they mean all the livelong day, but in the end, you only have two choices: Decide not to follow God, or decide to follow Him whether you feel "unsaved" or not. I recommend the second choice.

NoahSK said:

It's so strange. It feels like I don't care anymore, and anytime I try to pray or listen to Christian music or read the Bible or any of that, the feeling and thoughts get worse. It just feels so real. I don't how this could happen. I'm so confused, but I don't know if I can see this as being OCD. Nothing makes sense.

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God simply doesn't judge us by what we feel, and feelings are not the most reliable indicator of where one is at with the Lord. Many have good feelings and pleasant thoughts towards the Lord that they don't follow through with and act upon so as to side with the Lord in the actual decisions they make. It's possible that idolatrously loving other things could spur apathetic feelings towards the things of God, but in that case the solution would be to identify the bad master you're serving for the abominable master that it is; and to choose to renounce that bad master and rather submit to Christ the Good Shepherd as your Rightful Master who leads His faithful servants to eternal life. Whatever the case is, diligently seek God and fight off the influence of thoughts which if heeded would prevent you from taking God at His Word and acting accordingly- because whether we do that with resolve or not IS the ultimate indicator of where we're at with the Lord. And to trust God in that way is a choice within our control that the objective testimony of His Word and all true wisdom is drawing us to make. Even the concept that your feelings need prevent you from choosing right here is a concept that is not in line with God's Word which you need to choose to cast down by renouncing it before the Lord and not letting it prevent you from diligently seeking the Lord. We're told that true faith believes that God is, and seeks God diligently, because there is so much influence in ourselves and in the world which militates against what God has testified and which opposes seeking Him. That is so much the case that we will never serve Him with a living faith and obtain His promises if our seeking of Him is not diligent.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5: "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ"

Hebrews 11:6: " But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."