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what are you feeling right now? (24)

Jeshu

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I really believe that lack of closure on anything contributes to my depression more than anything else. This is the most painful example right now.

I have been aware of an old family photo from my mom's generation, it was from the early 1960s. She was in her later teens. In the photo was her, her mother, and a boy next to her and my mother was holding hands with that boy, and I keep getting tears in my eyes, wondering who was this boy, why were they holding hands, were they just one date or were they a couple, and why didn't my mom ever tell me about this? My mom never mentioned any boyfriend to me EVER. Who was the boy who thought my mom was special? Did my mom like this boy? Did he like her? My mom was very conservative so I'm sure that they didn't do any hanky panky, but I'll never know the nature of what was going on in this photo. Will I ever find out, even after I die? I want to know about this picture, it literally moves me to tears. She can't talk to me about this, she is too ill. I feel awkward asking my dad if he knows about it. But I have no one else I can ask.

i do believe you will find out all the answers one day. For it says in Scripture that everything in darkness will be brought to light. So please do take comfort in Christ's promises also when it comes to your mother. Bless your heart caring about her so much and have always seen that as your greatest asset. Suffering depression as you do and still faithfully looking after your ill mother. Jesus will certainly be happy to see such love alive in you.

Be blessed.
 
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Paulus59

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Grieving pastor Jarrid Wilson. It is always sad to loose someone to suicide but it gets even worse when the person involved helped countless other people struggling with depression. We need pastors like these. People who love others through the dark patches of their lives and don't judge them for it.

i pray for his wife and children and all those directly involved in this loss of human life.

Pastor Jarrid Wilson, Who Died by Suicide at 30, Remembered for 'Gentle and Loving' Soul

That is very sad indeed. He devoted his life to helping others in their struggles, yet neglected his own needs. May the Lord comfort his loved ones through their grief.
 
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.Mikha'el.

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I really believe that lack of closure on anything contributes to my depression more than anything else. This is the most painful example right now.

I have been aware of an old family photo from my mom's generation, it was from the early 1960s. She was in her later teens. In the photo was her, her mother, and a boy next to her and my mother was holding hands with that boy, and I keep getting tears in my eyes, wondering who was this boy, why were they holding hands, were they just one date or were they a couple, and why didn't my mom ever tell me about this? My mom never mentioned any boyfriend to me EVER. Who was the boy who thought my mom was special? Did my mom like this boy? Did he like her? My mom was very conservative so I'm sure that they didn't do any hanky panky, but I'll never know the nature of what was going on in this photo. Will I ever find out, even after I die? I want to know about this picture, it literally moves me to tears. She can't talk to me about this, she is too ill. I feel awkward asking my dad if he knows about it. But I have no one else I can ask.
p.s. I did actually cry, not really hard but I still cried

:hug::hug::hug::hug:
 
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chaoticfirefly

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Can the admin or whoever be blocked? Or is there a way to get the promo to stop being advertised?

Anyways. I'm good. Taking a creative writing class -- my first story is a dystopia. My second one will be more of the genre I'm good with: fantasy.
 
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Jeshu

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Can the admin or whoever be blocked? Or is there a way to get the promo to stop being advertised?

Become a site supporter or use an add blocker or two ways you can do that.


Anyways. I'm good. Taking a creative writing class -- my first story is a dystopia. My second one will be more of the genre I'm good with: fantasy.

Great to hear you are doing well. Always wanted to do creative writing but i lost my creativity from the psych medicines. What kind of dystopia did you write about? i always find it interesting hearing how people envision such societies.

Have a great week.
 
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Yusuphhai

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Hello brother! How are you doing in your corner of China today?
I can visit here ,that is good. but sleep too much.

Bless you with a blessed day dear brother. :hug:
 
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Lady Bug

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I wish my parents hadn't gotten married...yeah I know it sounds weird, maybe even evil, but I think part of why my life feels so empty and messed up is because of this...i don't feel like writing it all out...
 
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Jeshu

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Feeling well this morning. i slept basically all day yesterday and still got 5 hours last night as well, so that is excellent.

kids coming today will be hectic but fun i'm sure.

Have a great day
 
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Jeshu

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Feeling very lonely today and feel like crying. I'm saddened by a lot of things in my life and feel like God is far away. Do any of you feel like this sometimes?

Yes i know very well what you are talking about. It is when the darkness of depression tries to keep the light away altogether. Do you get it that the accuser tells you it is your fault that God is far away? i used to get that a lot as well.

It are all lies, honestly true. The best is not to believe your feelings and to tell Jesus precisely what you are feeling and what those feelings say about you and about Him. Keep sharing your most desolate places/times like that with God and you will see the desert bloom sooner or later.

i found that Psalm 88 speaks this dark reality best and it was a real comfort to see that Saints know about the same place.

Peace

His Light Out Of Our Darkness.

Finding Jesus in our darkest night,
is essential to escape the pit,
when despair and godforsakenness reign.


Us hurting the place called the skull,
where the destroyer carries the scepter,
crucifying our truth with those lies ruling.


Please open your eyes and see,
the darkness is not ever blind,
utter gloom reveals His marvelous light.


For His love overcomes our deepest fall,
see Him riding on His white Horse,
His Sword of Truth restores what's broken.


Please anchor self only in His truth,
let nothing from His love do part,
until fully resurrected on the Last Day.



 
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Jeshu

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feeling down and tired and failed so yeah not feeling great

It is hard to fail in a world driven by success. So i hope you will be able to recoup your losses and find your worth in Jesus alone.

:hug:
 
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