Southern humor

Martinius

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That's not so bad. When I was a teenager I got tarred a lot. I worked hard and got tarred. I played hard and got tarred. But I would get a good night's sleep and was jis fi-an agin in the moanin'.
 
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Northbrook

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That's not so bad. When I was a teenager I got tarred a lot. I worked hard and got tarred. I played hard and got tarred. But I would get a good night's sleep and was jis fi-an agin in the moanin'.

This tarredness of yours, does it happen all the tahm *smile*?
 
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Northbrook

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One time years ago, a high school senior living in Appalachia was accepted to Harvard. University officials informed him he was the first Appalachian student ever to be accepted there. And when they asked him, "What will you be studying while you're at Harvard?", he replied, "Actually, while I'm at Harvard, I think they will be studying me!"
 
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Daniel Marsh

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images
 
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Quasiblogo

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Q: What are the four basic food groups in the South?
A: Salt, sugar, coffee, and grease!

Course, there's a fifth food group: us folk who congregates at the Cracker Barrel restaurant after Church service.
 
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Quasiblogo

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Texas has names for towns that are quite international, like Paris, Athens, Rome, etc. My family had just moved from the Mediterranean area, where my Dad was stationed with the Air Force, to a base in central Texas. On my first day of junior high there, the principal took me to the homeroom class. He introduced me to the teacher and class with a nice Texan drawl: "Students, we have a new student he-ah, come all the way from Tuh'key!" I was quite taken aback when the teacher responded, "Turkey, Texas! Why, I have relatives there!"
 
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Daniel Marsh

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Church of the Binge promises

Lev 20:22
Tools
“You are to keep all My statutes and all My ordinances, and do them, so that the land where I am bringing you to live will not vomit you out.

Source: Vomit in the Bible (15 instances)

Prov 23:8
Tools
The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.

Source: Vomit in the Bible (15 instances)

Prov 25:16
Tools
Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it.

Source: Vomit in the Bible (15 instances)

Jonah 2:10
Verse Concepts
Then the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah up onto the dry land.

Source: 12 Bible verses about Vomitting

Isaiah 28:7-8
And these also reel with wine and stagger from strong drink:
The priest and the prophet reel with strong drink,
They are confused by wine, they stagger from strong drink;
They reel while having visions,
They totter when rendering judgment.
For all the tables are full of filthy vomit, without a single clean place.

Source: 12 Bible verses about Vomitting
 
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