Good news, bad news, good news, bad news...

Bad news: it's cloudy and rainy here.

Bad news: we've had too much rain!

Bad news: too much rain can be bad for crop harvesting.

Bad news: It's set to pour with rain over the entire country tomorrow - again.

Good news: It needs to pour here because all of our plants are dying so that is good news!

Bad news- the plants weren't dying, you just needed new glasses.

Bad news: Buy-one-get-one just refers to the right and left lenses.

Good news: You can still get two monocles for that deal.

Bad news: monocles are out of fashion. Even the eccentrics rarely use them.

Good news: The silk top hat store is having a sale.

Bad news: Chesterton tripped due to not being used to one eye seeing better than the other. He landed on 2 large piles of hats and the irate owner is suing him for the retail price because he refused to pay for the damage in store.

Good news: I hired a top notch lawyer who successfully counter-sued the store owner and the monocle maker for my slip and fall. I'm posting this with my toes in the sand of a Tahitian beach, wearing my top hat and monocle, sipping a Budweiser.

Good news: Chesterton rises above it, shrugs and drinks it anyway thinking 'what's a bit of sand?'