Worried about calling a priest for Anointing of the Sick because I don't think my mom's qualified

Lady Bug

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Well you can discuss that privately with the priest or better yet, ask for his email where you can explain everything to him without the family pressure.
You mean my situation specifically? (Aside from my mom's)
 
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Lady Bug

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Now I'm hoping he doesn't call back today but not because I don't want this sorted out, but because I'm running into a major privacy problem. I am helping mom in the kitchen, and my dad is going to be cutting tomatoes and onions in the kitchen this evening, and I didn't want him to be near me...if I stepped out to talk to the priest on the phone, my dad will wonder why I'm gone so long...Murphy's law states that the phone call will come when my dad is cutting the tomatoes :|
 
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chevyontheriver

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I hope it's not too late to "help" my mom. I didn't think I could get a priest on the weekend. Mind you, this may sound a bit silly but it's a known fact (in my particular case) that when it's a few days before my time of the month, my mom is just terrible :'( she does not behave, she doesn't eat well, drink well, and coughs even more than she normally does, then when my period starts, she quiets down a little. I keep hoping this is what it means now. It's a weird coincidence that when I have my PMS, she starts acting really bad. She's too old to have periods but some synchronicity exists.
I think most priests will prioritize a sick call above everything but a scheduled mass. Even then there is usually another priest on call. SO ... make the call. You will be glad you did. It may do something good for your mother's soul too. It's not magic. It is an occasion of grace.

Edit: I noticed you already called. And you are waiting. Be pre-emptive and put in another call on your schedule. I'll be praying.
 
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Lady Bug

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@Lady Bug, how is your mom today?
I'm worried for her. She seems to be getting so thin. It's as if she loses weight overnight. The problem is that I'm in a lose lose situation. If I try to give her more, she reaches a threshold where she coughs really bad and starts making gurgling noises as she breathes. But her weight loss is inevitable if I have to give her less. There's no middle ground to this. I can give her a certain amount in which she might not gurgle as much but naturally she will continue to lose and lose. It really breaks my heart to see this happen. I keep wondering if there's any way to stop that breathing aberration but the doc and nurses warn about this being buildup in the lungs. How do "ordinary" people get rid of buildup in their lungs? I don't ever want to have to use that morphine. I heard that once you start that it's inevitable that it will collapse your breathing and you die.
 
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Michie

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It is part of the process and it heartbreaking to watch. The body shuts down and it becomes more difficult to process the food. I know watching her lose weight is distressing but what's important now is just keeping her comfortable. Continued prayers for you and your family Lady Bug. **hugs**
I'm worried for her. She seems to be getting so thin. It's as if she loses weight overnight. The problem is that I'm in a lose lose situation. If I try to give her more, she reaches a threshold where she coughs really bad and starts making gurgling noises as she breathes. But her weight loss is inevitable if I have to give her less. There's no middle ground to this. I can give her a certain amount in which she might not gurgle as much but naturally she will continue to lose and lose. It really breaks my heart to see this happen. I keep wondering if there's any way to stop that breathing aberration but the doc and nurses warn about this being buildup in the lungs. How do "ordinary" people get rid of buildup in their lungs? I don't ever want to have to use that morphine. I heard that once you start that it's inevitable that it will collapse your breathing and you die.
 
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Lady Bug

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It is part of the process and it heartbreaking to watch. The body shuts down and it becomes more difficult to process the food. I know watching her lose weight is distressing but what's important now is just keeping her comfortable. Continued prayers for you and your family Lady Bug. **hugs**
How does one keep such a person comfortable? Just curious. My mom hasn't been "going" in 6 days and before that she had been "going" twice a day. I don't know what's going on. To make matters worse, my dad has impaired relations with the hospice people. He outright defied what they said when they said she's in decline. One thing he said was that when hospice denies the patient a tube for food and water, that's tantamount to killing the patient and the hospice people got upset. Actually on this one matter sometimes I get suspicious of hospice. Are they secretly out to kill people with morphine? I hate asking such a heated question. But these people seem like decent people. Yes, the devil masquerades as an angel of light and you never know with these people but I still try to get along with them. My dad's denial is making it harder for me to cope with her decline. Naturally, I feel like I'm doing this alone.
 
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Michie

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Well, morphine is usually the last step when all else fails to help. There are medications ahead of that that are meant to give the patient more quality time and comfort. I understand your suspicion but there have been many people that have been on hospice for long periods of time. I know your dad is in denial and grieving and that will affect you too. Were you given paperwork to read when hospice first came in?? If so, please read it. It will help set some of your concerns aside. Always ask questions! They expect it. *hugs and prayers*
How does one keep such a person comfortable? Just curious. My mom hasn't been "going" in 6 days and before that she had been "going" twice a day. I don't know what's going on. To make matters worse, my dad has impaired relations with the hospice people. He outright defied what they said when they said she's in decline. One thing he said was that when hospice denies the patient a tube for food and water, that's tantamount to killing the patient and the hospice people got upset. Actually on this one matter sometimes I get suspicious of hospice. Are they secretly out to kill people with morphine? I hate asking such a heated question. But these people seem like decent people. Yes, the devil masquerades as an angel of light and you never know with these people but I still try to get along with them. My dad's denial is making it harder for me to cope with her decline. Naturally, I feel like I'm doing this alone.
 
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PittBullMom

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I did this for my mother ten years ago. She was born and raised Catholic. She left the church many many years before she died. I called and they showed up. She got her anointing. Just like that.
 
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PittBullMom

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Btw she also had dementia and later altzheimers sp? She was unconscious and went into septic shock. I called about 1 am on the emergency line and the priest got dressed and came out in the middle of the night. No one in the family was practicing any religion at that time. Don’t be so nervous. Deep down inside priests really do care and when it comes to end of life it’s a HUGE deal to save a soul.
 
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Lady Bug

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I am going to try to email the priest instead. I feel really saddened that I didn't hear from anyone today. I suspected I wouldn't hear from anyone this past Friday, but it hurts to have the same thing happen today. This church has a lot good reviews, a unanimous 5-star rating among 65 reviews, and I wanted to feel the same :|
 
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PittBullMom

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Always go directly to the priest when you can. Unfortunately receptionists may not communicate well with one another and not realize you aren’t being taken care of. I’ve even gotten cell numbers so I can text them.
 
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Michie

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Just remember the priest is only one man. Continue to contact him. *hugs*
I am going to try to email the priest instead. I feel really saddened that I didn't hear from anyone today. I suspected I wouldn't hear from anyone this past Friday, but it hurts to have the same thing happen today. This church has a lot good reviews, a unanimous 5-star rating among 65 reviews, and I wanted to feel the same :|
 
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Lady Bug

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Always go directly to the priest when you can. Unfortunately receptionists may not communicate well with one another and not realize you aren’t being taken care of. I’ve even gotten cell numbers so I can text them.
I did go directly; the receptionist had connected me to his office, but it went to voicemail that day. Like Michie said though, the priest is but one man. There is also a parochial vicar there, but I don't know if he has the same authority.
 
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Hi Lady Bug, I just noticed your post. Glad to see your well, long time no hear.

Michie is right, your Mothers body is shutting down , this is normal in the final stages of Dementia - Alzheimers. Morphine is the usual pain medication given .

I pray for your peace and that of your family during these trying times.
 
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PittBullMom

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I did go directly; the receptionist had connected me to his office, but it went to voicemail that day. Like Michie said though, the priest is but one man. There is also a parochial vicar there, but I don't know if he has the same authority.

I would imagine a priest is a priest and perochial or pastor can administer sacraments.
 
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I would imagine a priest is a priest and perochial or pastor can administer sacraments.

Yes. Even a schismatic priest with a valid ordination and apostolic succession could offer the sacraments. It would be valid, but not licit.
 
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