Hello everyone. I’m trying to understand the Scripture’s stance on homosexuality, and am praying that God will move it in the hearts of Christians with a deeper understanding of scripture than I to aid me in this difficult time in my life.
Almost a year ago now, I ended an 8 year same-sex relationship. I loved my partner and wanted to be with her forever, but I felt so guilty at the thought of living in a way that Jesus would not approve of. I didn’t want to forever have a wall between us because I was hurting him by sinning in my relationship every day. So I ended the relationship. For a long time, I was in utter agony. But then I began to do better, focusing on seeking God every day.
However still I would catch myself daydreaming of what could’ve been, if only I’d been allowed to stay with her. Well, recently, we spoke and I discovered that she has moved on to another same-sex relationship, and she said she is no longer in love with me. Although we left things on a friendly note, my heart is aching, and I’m embarrassed that after so long, a part of me still hasn’t let go. I’ve realized where I’ve gone wrong.
In the garden of Eden, Eve was vulnerable to the serpent’s deception because she was unclear about the Word of God. God said not to eat of the fruit of tree, but never said not to touch the tree like she claimed he had, so when Satan said, you surely will not die, and she touched the tree and nothing changed, she must have instantly lost belief in the Word. If Satan can make us confused about God’s Word, or doubt God’s Word, we are vulnerable.
I constantly question what the Word says about homosexuality. I’m willing to say it’s a sin. I’m willing to confess that I’ve struggled with it and turned away. I’m willing to give up anything for Him. I am not by any means trying to see how much I can get away with, I never want to live that way. If I could say to myself without a doubt that God’s Word says NO to homosexuality, then I could be sure that nothing good could ever have come from remaining in the relationship, and I can move on. But because a part of me has always doubted this deep down, a part of me was always daydreaming. Wondering if maybe my family could have come to accept us. Missing all of our times together, our old routines, not letting go of gifts from them, hanging on and hanging on and hanging on. Giving almost my whole self to God, but with one foot still in my past. For the past year, I focused on getting to know and serving and loving God, and didn’t give as much focus to understanding what He says about homosexuality. Now, I think I need to do this, or else I will remain vulnerable in this area.
There are so many things that make homosexuality being a sin seem unclear. People talk about the word ‘homosexuality’ not having even existed back then. When I looked at the parts of the Bible where the act of homosexuality is described rather than just called ‘homosexuality’ I found that in the original Greek wording of Paul’s writings, it was summarized in one word, a word that one commentary claimed meant homosexual relationships, whereas another commentary claimed it meant ‘effeminate men.’ I feel so guilty because in my heart I feel homosexuality must be a sin. All signs point to yes. But I don’t want to rely on signs or theories. I don’t want to feel unsure of what I should say when people ask me if it’s a sin, and then in turn wonder if I made a mistake by leaving my relationship. I don’t want to tell people “I left to play it safe, but I don’t actually know if it’s a sin, I just couldn’t risk it.” I want to be able to say, “I left because it is a sin and I want nothing to come before Christ in my life. I want to serve Him as best as I can.” But when I say this, there is a small part of me that always wonders, IS it a sin?
I’m in such heart ache, but I feel I cannot fully avoid the temptation of calling my ex and begging to give it another chance, to stop myself from wondering and wondering, until I can say to myself I did the right thing. I did what God wanted me to do. I obeyed God’s Word.
I know many people will likely tell me “you either believe what it says or don’t” but I just feel so lost as to what it even truly says on this matter. Can someone tell me, how do you KNOW with 100 percent certainty that it is a sin? I want to know too. I’m willing to give up ANYTHING for God. I just want to strengthen my knowledge of the Sword of the Spirit on this matter so that Satan cannot disarm me. So that I’m no longer vulnerable. If anyone could take the time to help me by explaining, or by praying for me on this matter, there aren’t words to describe the gratitude I would have.
(Please do not give an answer without scripture to support it. For example, if someone, even with the best intentions, were to write ‘in my opinion I think God is okay with it’ it would be really hurtful to me right now and only add to my temptation to return to my old ways. I’m seeking God’s Word so that I know what He wants me to do. I say this as kind as I can, but please, no opinions.)
Almost a year ago now, I ended an 8 year same-sex relationship. I loved my partner and wanted to be with her forever, but I felt so guilty at the thought of living in a way that Jesus would not approve of. I didn’t want to forever have a wall between us because I was hurting him by sinning in my relationship every day. So I ended the relationship. For a long time, I was in utter agony. But then I began to do better, focusing on seeking God every day.
However still I would catch myself daydreaming of what could’ve been, if only I’d been allowed to stay with her. Well, recently, we spoke and I discovered that she has moved on to another same-sex relationship, and she said she is no longer in love with me. Although we left things on a friendly note, my heart is aching, and I’m embarrassed that after so long, a part of me still hasn’t let go. I’ve realized where I’ve gone wrong.
In the garden of Eden, Eve was vulnerable to the serpent’s deception because she was unclear about the Word of God. God said not to eat of the fruit of tree, but never said not to touch the tree like she claimed he had, so when Satan said, you surely will not die, and she touched the tree and nothing changed, she must have instantly lost belief in the Word. If Satan can make us confused about God’s Word, or doubt God’s Word, we are vulnerable.
I constantly question what the Word says about homosexuality. I’m willing to say it’s a sin. I’m willing to confess that I’ve struggled with it and turned away. I’m willing to give up anything for Him. I am not by any means trying to see how much I can get away with, I never want to live that way. If I could say to myself without a doubt that God’s Word says NO to homosexuality, then I could be sure that nothing good could ever have come from remaining in the relationship, and I can move on. But because a part of me has always doubted this deep down, a part of me was always daydreaming. Wondering if maybe my family could have come to accept us. Missing all of our times together, our old routines, not letting go of gifts from them, hanging on and hanging on and hanging on. Giving almost my whole self to God, but with one foot still in my past. For the past year, I focused on getting to know and serving and loving God, and didn’t give as much focus to understanding what He says about homosexuality. Now, I think I need to do this, or else I will remain vulnerable in this area.
There are so many things that make homosexuality being a sin seem unclear. People talk about the word ‘homosexuality’ not having even existed back then. When I looked at the parts of the Bible where the act of homosexuality is described rather than just called ‘homosexuality’ I found that in the original Greek wording of Paul’s writings, it was summarized in one word, a word that one commentary claimed meant homosexual relationships, whereas another commentary claimed it meant ‘effeminate men.’ I feel so guilty because in my heart I feel homosexuality must be a sin. All signs point to yes. But I don’t want to rely on signs or theories. I don’t want to feel unsure of what I should say when people ask me if it’s a sin, and then in turn wonder if I made a mistake by leaving my relationship. I don’t want to tell people “I left to play it safe, but I don’t actually know if it’s a sin, I just couldn’t risk it.” I want to be able to say, “I left because it is a sin and I want nothing to come before Christ in my life. I want to serve Him as best as I can.” But when I say this, there is a small part of me that always wonders, IS it a sin?
I’m in such heart ache, but I feel I cannot fully avoid the temptation of calling my ex and begging to give it another chance, to stop myself from wondering and wondering, until I can say to myself I did the right thing. I did what God wanted me to do. I obeyed God’s Word.
I know many people will likely tell me “you either believe what it says or don’t” but I just feel so lost as to what it even truly says on this matter. Can someone tell me, how do you KNOW with 100 percent certainty that it is a sin? I want to know too. I’m willing to give up ANYTHING for God. I just want to strengthen my knowledge of the Sword of the Spirit on this matter so that Satan cannot disarm me. So that I’m no longer vulnerable. If anyone could take the time to help me by explaining, or by praying for me on this matter, there aren’t words to describe the gratitude I would have.
(Please do not give an answer without scripture to support it. For example, if someone, even with the best intentions, were to write ‘in my opinion I think God is okay with it’ it would be really hurtful to me right now and only add to my temptation to return to my old ways. I’m seeking God’s Word so that I know what He wants me to do. I say this as kind as I can, but please, no opinions.)