- Feb 19, 2017
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Depression sucks, honestly. One moment you're fine and the next you are nothing but a puddle of tears that believes that nobody really knows or loves you and that you're nobody's first choice for anything in life.
It's been over a week now and I've been feeling pretty sad from my depression. I saw my therapist last week, but we just talked about a whole lot of nothing pertaining to positive things. I wanted to complain to her about how I was feeling, but when I get like this, I'm not very assertive in conversations, so I just let her take the lead. I guess I'm just too worried about her giving up on me as a client if I come across as too mentally broken for her to deal with. It's not her, it's me. Therapists have given up on me before because I was too difficult, and I don't want it to happen again... although, I wouldn't blame her.
Anyways, the reason I wanted to come on here was because the other day my grandma said something that was a bit hurtful. She talked about a friend of hers whose son is extremely depressed. She said that if the son could only realize how much his parents loved him, his depression would be gone in a millisecond. She also has said in the past that prayer would clear up depression better than any medications ever could. While I understand the power of love and prayer, it's just not that simple, unfortunately; especially if you have chronic depression that only gets worse if you don't have medications. I wish I could tell her this to her face, but she doesn't get it when I do say these things, so I just keep my mouth shut and nod uncomfortably in agreement.
So yeah, I'm feeling pretty down on myself right now. I'm feeling like no one actually understands what I am going through and a bunch of other classic depression thoughts too, like "I'm all alone" and "No one loves me" and "What is the meaning of life?"
Just needed to let that out somewhere where I think people would listen. I hope this is okay for me to post here. By the way, if anyone has any words of encouragement or positive Bible passages they'd like to comment with, I wouldn't mind those at all. I apologize in advance if I don't reply to your messages, by the way. I am very busy with school and work, so I often don't have the time to sit down and write out a lot of replies.
It's been over a week now and I've been feeling pretty sad from my depression. I saw my therapist last week, but we just talked about a whole lot of nothing pertaining to positive things. I wanted to complain to her about how I was feeling, but when I get like this, I'm not very assertive in conversations, so I just let her take the lead. I guess I'm just too worried about her giving up on me as a client if I come across as too mentally broken for her to deal with. It's not her, it's me. Therapists have given up on me before because I was too difficult, and I don't want it to happen again... although, I wouldn't blame her.
Anyways, the reason I wanted to come on here was because the other day my grandma said something that was a bit hurtful. She talked about a friend of hers whose son is extremely depressed. She said that if the son could only realize how much his parents loved him, his depression would be gone in a millisecond. She also has said in the past that prayer would clear up depression better than any medications ever could. While I understand the power of love and prayer, it's just not that simple, unfortunately; especially if you have chronic depression that only gets worse if you don't have medications. I wish I could tell her this to her face, but she doesn't get it when I do say these things, so I just keep my mouth shut and nod uncomfortably in agreement.
So yeah, I'm feeling pretty down on myself right now. I'm feeling like no one actually understands what I am going through and a bunch of other classic depression thoughts too, like "I'm all alone" and "No one loves me" and "What is the meaning of life?"
Just needed to let that out somewhere where I think people would listen. I hope this is okay for me to post here. By the way, if anyone has any words of encouragement or positive Bible passages they'd like to comment with, I wouldn't mind those at all. I apologize in advance if I don't reply to your messages, by the way. I am very busy with school and work, so I often don't have the time to sit down and write out a lot of replies.