what are you feeling right now? (24)

Not sleeping much but mood wise feeling a bit better the last couple of days. A nice break. Maybe things will turn around for me, i hope so. As long as i can get some more sleep i'll be alright.

Have a blessed week.

Waiting for the pain meds to kick in, it's actually a good feeling when they do.

mark kennedy said:

Waiting for the pain meds to kick in, it's actually a good feeling when they do.

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Yes i remember that from when i was on strong painkillers, relief from pain is certainly a pleasurable experience, but i found out that the 'high' of painkillers quickly turn into a major down after awhile. You get that?

Yusuphhai said:

Maybe in September I will work for the rehabilitation room for the handicapped every weekday. If it is the will of God, it would be a good job.

Blessings to all!

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That be great brother. Where does it depend on? What needs to happen to make that happen for you?

Let us know so we can pray for that specifically.

Jeshu said:

Yes i remember that from when i was on strong painkillers, relief from pain is certainly a pleasurable experience, but i found out that the 'high' of painkillers quickly turn into a major down after awhile. You get that?

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Yea I definately get that, I was actually a little moody when I wrote that. After a while they make me drowsy, it always feels better when they have worn off and the pain has subsided. Nothing beats normal.

I did not go to church today. The anxiety/paranoia of my daughter's drama being known and whispered about outweighed the guilt of leaving the worship team hanging without a piano player. That's never happened before, but I'm tired of the Saturday night panic attacks and utter dread of going to church.

Felt SO good to stay home. My husband stayed home too as he was tired. Felt so relaxed and calm all day. I don't know what that means...maybe I needed a break, or I need to quit. Will contemplate and pray over it this week. I hate leaving the church without a piano player but it is becoming more of a dreaded burden than it is an enjoyed commitment.

Jeshu said:

That be great brother. Where does it depend on? What needs to happen to make that happen for you?

Let us know so we can pray for that specifically.

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Thank you dear brother.

A company wants to hire a handicapped, but the handicapped need not go to work there ,and can get some salary and social insurance. So the company could pay less Tax to the government. The company need hire a member of the “Sweet Home” rehabilitation room, so first I need to be a member of the “Sweet Home”. That means I need to go to the “Sweet Home” every weekday. Even if I am a member of it, I am not sure I can be hired by the company. I pray I can observe Chinese laws as possibly as I can, though I need observe the laws of God first. It is not very easy to deal with the relationship between Politics and religion, they are not separated in China. I am always struggling with it.

Blessings your way.

I'm here.
Good news: I have a diagnosis for my health stuff, bad news, doctors waited too long and there's internal scarring bc the organ broke through some tissue and stuff. Good news, it can be helped.

Worst news: He won't do surgery that fixes it completely. Instead, more pills!!!! Gr8.

Meh news: School. Bad news: Medicaid and Financial Aid is being a pain in the butt.

My professors are cool, I look forward to debates.

Uh I finished draft one of a story.
I picked up reading again.
Roommates nice.

Everything is going to be okay.

chaoticfirefly said:

I'm here.
Good news: I have a diagnosis for my health stuff, bad news, doctors waited too long and there's internal scarring bc the organ broke through some tissue and stuff. Good news, it can be helped.

Worst news: He won't do surgery that fixes it completely. Instead, more pills!!!! Gr8.

Meh news: School. Bad news: Medicaid and Financial Aid is being a pain in the butt.

My professors are cool, I look forward to debates.

Uh I finished draft one of a story.
I picked up reading again.
Roommates nice.

Everything is going to be okay.

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Well, this post has more positive news than I have seen in awhile. Good for you!

I was especially concerned about your health issues, but though not 100% good news, it still sounds very encouraging. I hate pills as well, but this may be easier on you in the long run. Hope you are not in pain.

Congrats on your first draft. Also good to hear your roommates and profs are cool.

Yusuphhai said:

Thank you dear brother.

A company wants to hire a handicapped, but the handicapped need not go to work there ,and can get some salary and social insurance. So the company could pay less Tax to the government. The company need hire a member of the “Sweet Home” rehabilitation room, so first I need to be a member of the “Sweet Home”. That means I need to go to the “Sweet Home” every weekday. Even if I am a member of it, I am not sure I can be hired by the company. I pray I can observe Chinese laws as possibly as I can, though I need observe the laws of God first. It is not very easy to deal with the relationship between Politics and religion, they are not separated in China. I am always struggling with it.

Blessings your way.

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I admire your tenacity and willingness to serve our Lord. I know you are under a tremendous amount of stress.

chaoticfirefly said:

I'm here.
Good news: I have a diagnosis for my health stuff, bad news, doctors waited too long and there's internal scarring bc the organ broke through some tissue and stuff. Good news, it can be helped.

Worst news: He won't do surgery that fixes it completely. Instead, more pills!!!! Gr8.

Meh news: School. Bad news: Medicaid and Financial Aid is being a pain in the butt.

My professors are cool, I look forward to debates.

Uh I finished draft one of a story.
I picked up reading again.
Roommates nice.

Everything is going to be okay.

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Good to hear from you again and glad they found out how to treat your condition. Pills can be good when we are in pain in particular.

Glad study is going good.

Take care

Feeling fed up with the night, been up since 11.30pm its 4.22am now. Its been a long night. How i wish i got a few more hours sleep! This can't go well for long.

Mood wise i have been okay. A bit lowish Friday and Saturday but so far my mood has been fine today.

Hoping everyone is fine

Kid got her job back. I'm in shock but glad for her. She is so lucky the manager gave her a second chance.

I discovered why I've been gaining all my weight back. (on top of the angry stress eating.) I have hyperparathyroidism and the steroid injection my PCM gave me a few months ago sent my parathyroid function into overtime. It will be a while before it straightens itself out, but it's good to have answers. Now I just have to stay away from the stinkin' donuts.

Feeling down and drained at 7.30 in the morning even though for the first time in weeks i got 8 hours sleep last night over two sessions but still a lot of hours altogether. Such a pity i have to feel so down today, it is crushingly overwhelming in is nature. Lets hope it wont last too long.

Praying everyone else is okay.

Tired because I wasn't able to sleep in on this holiday. Stressed because I need to get lectures put together for tomorrow and Wednesday. Apprehensive because I have a trip this weekend to attend a wedding reception and I don't want to go but feel obligated to do so.

Giddy though because this morning's coffee is particularly awesome.

feeling down and tired.
at work felt like crying and so down, just didnt want to live anymore, like everyone else has a reason to live but I dont so why keep fighting. havent been like that in a while.
especially not feeling like crying at work.

I dont know what to do with it.
anyway that's how I'm feeling.

Yeah, finding purpose or meaning in this world is very difficult for me. I have moments of meaning and purpose but I don't want to have to fight so much just to be.

Noxot said:

Yeah, finding purpose or meaning in this world is very difficult for me. I have moments of meaning and purpose but I don't want to have to fight so much just to be.

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Yes i relate to that a lot. Meaning and purpose in a fallen world is hard to find, only in The Word can we find meaning and purpose back. i believe our purpose is to give God glory by living faithfully true to the truth of our our existence. See we can have existence in lies - which will perish and make our lives meaningless - or we can have our reality in Christ where we are living bricks in a holy Temple, building the very place where God almighty has His dwelling place.

Each part of your reality that you place into Christ's truth is transformed into newness of life and given His rest within us, while in the places where we haven't found His truth to rule us yet we are given time to find His rest each day again.

To enter God's rest is greatest ever for then must, do and rule fall by the wayside and love to takes over. i love it when the love to is in place for then i know i'm safely into the living out of faith bit the Gospels go on about.

Hoping you find meaning in your existence as well brother that your life maybe a living sacrifice to Christ's cause.

Peace.

Depressed?
The pain of depression
is not only the fact
that good life is gone,
much worse seeing
bad life enjoying
tearing good life apart.

The sorrow of depression
are the hurting lies ruling.
They shape an abomination
which brings us our desolation,
time and again
dumping us in the pit.

The hopelessness of depression
floods fully over us
when we are overwhelmed
by the darkness pressing
us down into that hole
so lonely and forsaken.

The way out of depression
is to lovingly love
yourself away
from loveless lies
back into His truth
ruling good life.

StillGods said:

feeling down and tired.
at work felt like crying and so down, just didnt want to live anymore, like everyone else has a reason to live but I dont so why keep fighting. havent been like that in a while.
especially not feeling like crying at work.

I dont know what to do with it.
anyway that's how I'm feeling.

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Sorry to hear you are feeling so down and out. i know how hard it can be to find meaning when depressed but do understand that you are fighting bad life already 24/7 what more could you do for God to make Him happy?

Faith in Christ amidst the desolation that gives purpose, hope, endurance and good will. i know hard to do when we hate our lives, but Christ did promise that those who hate their lives will loose it easier than those who love life, and that is a good thing for we have to loose our life to find Him.

Please don't let the darkness intimidate you but let Christ's light shine into your darkness.

Psalms 43
Vindicate me, my God,
and plead my cause
against an unfaithful nation.
Rescue me from those who are
deceitful and wicked.
You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?
Send me your light and your faithful care,
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.
Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.


Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Saviour and my God.