I don't think I have a shred of control of my life.

BigRed009

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It became apparent to me lately that I seem to have no ability to change my stagnant life.

For a bit of background, I have a congenital condition that makes it hard to work. Not working for most of my life has alienated me big time. For the past couple of years I've been looking into different options so I can work, including passive income. But even what I've researched are bad options for me right now, especially while I'm recovering from a surgery and I got an even bigger operation coming soon.

Besides wanting to work, I've been wanting to find a companion for my life. I'm 29 and I've always been single. Never been on a date, etc (yeah I know). For a couple of years now I've been praying to the Lord for help. I've tried the online dating apps, and I've even looked into lesser known dating apps for disabled people thinking there would be people that could relate to me (it turns out no one uses those sites, so yeah). I've been talking to girls a lot more from church, asked a couple of them out on dates, etc. Still nothing happened.

So what's my point?

I'm basically trapped in a box. I work and work and work, and all my efforts to achieve something new for my life show no results. I know I'm supposed to have faith that God will answer my prayers and help me with these things, but I've seriously lost hope. I'm just being honest. My life has been stagnant like this for many many years. I keep praying but I'm at the point now where I seriously think I'm going to die without ever experiencing the joy of love and romance, or even having some kind of career.

I don't know if maybe I'll have opportunities after my next surgery or not, but in the mean time I don't see the point in trying. I don't see any value in doing anything because nothing has happened up until this point. I feel like all there is for me to do is stay in my apartment, look over my Bible verses and play computer games.

I'm an alien. I can't relate to normal people and their occupations or relationships.

Am I right in thinking I don't have control of my life? Because I've been looking around all over and all the doors are closed. I know God is sovereign over our lives, but I don't know whats going on. I hope my life starts before I start getting old.

(Sorry for my negative attitude and all. But I had to write this and put it out there.)
 
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CharismaticLady

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It became apparent to me lately that I seem to have no ability to change my stagnant life.

For a bit of background, I have a congenital condition that makes it hard to work. Not working for most of my life has alienated me big time. For the past couple of years I've been looking into different options so I can work, including passive income. But even what I've researched are bad options for me right now, especially while I'm recovering from a surgery and I got an even bigger operation coming soon.

Besides wanting to work, I've been wanting to find a companion for my life. I'm 29 and I've always been single. Never been on a date, etc (yeah I know). For a couple of years now I've been praying to the Lord for help. I've tried the online dating apps, and I've even looked into lesser known dating apps for disabled people thinking there would be people that could relate to me (it turns out no one uses those sites, so yeah). I've been talking to girls a lot more from church, asked a couple of them out on dates, etc. Still nothing happened.

So what's my point?

I'm basically trapped in a box. I work and work and work, and all my efforts to achieve something new for my life show no results. I know I'm supposed to have faith that God will answer my prayers and help me with these things, but I've seriously lost hope. I'm just being honest. My life has been stagnant like this for many many years. I keep praying but I'm at the point now where I seriously think I'm going to die without ever experiencing the joy of love and romance, or even having some kind of career.

I don't know if maybe I'll have opportunities after my next surgery or not, but in the mean time I don't see the point in trying. I don't see any value in doing anything because nothing has happened up until this point. I feel like all there is for me to do is stay in my apartment, look over my Bible verses and play computer games.

I'm an alien. I can't relate to normal people and their occupations or relationships.

Am I right in thinking I don't have control of my life? Because I've been looking around all over and all the doors are closed. I know God is sovereign over our lives, but I don't know whats going on. I hope my life starts before I start getting old.

(Sorry for my negative attitude and all. But I had to write this and put it out there.)

It looks to me like you can use a computer and you type very well. There are many sit down jobs at computers. The friends I've made have been at work. After your next surgery go to Indeed.com and submit a resume.
 
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lastofall

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Col 3:1-2 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
To accomplish this we would have to deny our own will, and submit to and rely upon God's will; otherwise we would still be looking to this world for our trust.
 
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aiki

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I'm basically trapped in a box. I work and work and work, and all my efforts to achieve something new for my life show no results. I know I'm supposed to have faith that God will answer my prayers and help me with these things, but I've seriously lost hope. I'm just being honest. My life has been stagnant like this for many many years. I keep praying but I'm at the point now where I seriously think I'm going to die without ever experiencing the joy of love and romance, or even having some kind of career.

So, why do you exist? Why did God make you? No particular reason? To torment you with a life of trouble, and pain, and disappointment? Until you've sorted out what God intended in creating you, I suspect you'll continue in discontentment, sliding slowly but surely toward despair.

May I suggest to you that your life wasn't given to you to pursue your interests, but God's? Just as God is the Center of the Universe, it's Creator and Sustainer, He is the Core of your existence, too. There is no you if there is no Him. Do you live like this is so?

Paul wrote that one of God's fundamental purposes in making us is that we would become more and more like Christ. (Romans 8:29) In everything we face in life, good and bad, God always has at least this goal in view. Whether we are married or single, healthy or sick, employed or not, in any and every situation, God wants the Person of Christ to be increasingly evident in us. Is this what you want? Do you want to be a vessel in whom and through whom the Person of Christ is expressed? Are you willing for this to be the prime directive in your life that God wants it to be?

Scripture also tells us that we are to glorify God in all we do. (1 Corinthians 10:31; 1 Corinthians 6:20) Perhaps more for this reason than any other this is why everything (you included, of course) exists. God intends that He be glorified, not because He is a hyper-narcissist, but because He is totally worthy of all the glory we can give Him. His awesomeness, His power, His purity, His Holiness, His infinite love, mercy, grace and faithfulness - all these and much more make God a totally worthy object of constant glorification. Do you live in a way that glorifies God?

I have a friend who loves golf. So much so that, whenever we talk together, inevitably we talk about golf. His passion for the game is irrepressible and large. My friend glorifies golf so naturally, constantly, and expansively because he loves golf. I think this is exactly how it is supposed to be when we live to glorify God. We do so best as a consequence of loving God deeply. Do you love God above and before everything else? Even before yourself? Do find God so satisfying, so enjoyable, so great that you can't help extolling Him at every turn? This is what you were made for. It's your fundamental purpose, as far as God is concerned.

Why isn't the God of the universe totally fulfilling such that you don't pine for romance and female companionship? If God Himself can't satisfy you, what woman can? If you enter a marriage relationship still looking for the fulfillment and contentment only God can impart to you through fellowship with Himself, what might this do to your relationship with your wife?

I would suggest to you that your concerns about marriage and career signal something awry between you and God. Nothing in all of Creation is greater, more awesome, more incredible, more valuable than He is. If you have God, you have the very best, the most precious thing, that exists anywhere. And yet, He doesn't satisfy you, He doesn't fulfill you. Could it be that you have yet to properly understand who God is and to walk rightly with Him? Could it be that if you were rightly related to God, the peace and contentment His word says can be yours would be yours? I think so.
 
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eleos1954

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It became apparent to me lately that I seem to have no ability to change my stagnant life.

For a bit of background, I have a congenital condition that makes it hard to work. Not working for most of my life has alienated me big time. For the past couple of years I've been looking into different options so I can work, including passive income. But even what I've researched are bad options for me right now, especially while I'm recovering from a surgery and I got an even bigger operation coming soon.

Besides wanting to work, I've been wanting to find a companion for my life. I'm 29 and I've always been single. Never been on a date, etc (yeah I know). For a couple of years now I've been praying to the Lord for help. I've tried the online dating apps, and I've even looked into lesser known dating apps for disabled people thinking there would be people that could relate to me (it turns out no one uses those sites, so yeah). I've been talking to girls a lot more from church, asked a couple of them out on dates, etc. Still nothing happened.

So what's my point?

I'm basically trapped in a box. I work and work and work, and all my efforts to achieve something new for my life show no results. I know I'm supposed to have faith that God will answer my prayers and help me with these things, but I've seriously lost hope. I'm just being honest. My life has been stagnant like this for many many years. I keep praying but I'm at the point now where I seriously think I'm going to die without ever experiencing the joy of love and romance, or even having some kind of career.

I don't know if maybe I'll have opportunities after my next surgery or not, but in the mean time I don't see the point in trying. I don't see any value in doing anything because nothing has happened up until this point. I feel like all there is for me to do is stay in my apartment, look over my Bible verses and play computer games.

I'm an alien. I can't relate to normal people and their occupations or relationships.

Am I right in thinking I don't have control of my life? Because I've been looking around all over and all the doors are closed. I know God is sovereign over our lives, but I don't know whats going on. I hope my life starts before I start getting old.

(Sorry for my negative attitude and all. But I had to write this and put it out there.)

How about doing some volunteer charity work?

You need to get off the couch and quit playing games.
 
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AWorkInProgress

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It became apparent to me lately that I seem to have no ability to change my stagnant life.

For a bit of background, I have a congenital condition that makes it hard to work. Not working for most of my life has alienated me big time. For the past couple of years I've been looking into different options so I can work, including passive income. But even what I've researched are bad options for me right now, especially while I'm recovering from a surgery and I got an even bigger operation coming soon.

Besides wanting to work, I've been wanting to find a companion for my life. I'm 29 and I've always been single. Never been on a date, etc (yeah I know). For a couple of years now I've been praying to the Lord for help. I've tried the online dating apps, and I've even looked into lesser known dating apps for disabled people thinking there would be people that could relate to me (it turns out no one uses those sites, so yeah). I've been talking to girls a lot more from church, asked a couple of them out on dates, etc. Still nothing happened.

So what's my point?

I'm basically trapped in a box. I work and work and work, and all my efforts to achieve something new for my life show no results. I know I'm supposed to have faith that God will answer my prayers and help me with these things, but I've seriously lost hope. I'm just being honest. My life has been stagnant like this for many many years. I keep praying but I'm at the point now where I seriously think I'm going to die without ever experiencing the joy of love and romance, or even having some kind of career.

I don't know if maybe I'll have opportunities after my next surgery or not, but in the mean time I don't see the point in trying. I don't see any value in doing anything because nothing has happened up until this point. I feel like all there is for me to do is stay in my apartment, look over my Bible verses and play computer games.

I'm an alien. I can't relate to normal people and their occupations or relationships.

Am I right in thinking I don't have control of my life? Because I've been looking around all over and all the doors are closed. I know God is sovereign over our lives, but I don't know whats going on. I hope my life starts before I start getting old.

(Sorry for my negative attitude and all. But I had to write this and put it out there.)

Hello BigRed009,

I am sad to hear the pain you been thru. When hope seems to dry up, I know depression is not far behind. I don't even begin to know what you are going thru and what your limitations are.

I do agree with you, that God is sovereign over our lives. I am really blessed that you understand that, but the other side of that coin is that we don't like the cards we are given in life. I been given good health, but I am loaded with emotional problems that made me a coward in life. My wife is a very passionate woman, but her thryroid took a big hit which crippled her abillity to do whatever she wants. She had to go from the being able to multitask and being very angry, to taking a back seat and learning she can't control everything. I was forced to go from a person slowly making it by, to becoming the only income provider and doing things I was too afraid to do. We lived on grace for a long time, we are different people now. I am stronger, and she is more calm.

I share this because everyone has their problems. They struggle with their own bad news, but the Lord God will use it all for his purposes.

Brother from what I read two things came to my heart. I want to share them with you. I think you are asking the wrong questions.

I feel like you are choking on expectations that are way too hard for your condition to meet. I know you want to do what is right, but the real question is what has God made you able to do? What is available to you now that you are able to do? Even if it doesn't bring a paycheck. There is something about you that only you bring to the table, and the Lord God has given it to you. Find out what it is and find joy in it.

Don't compare yourself to others who are not in your situation. Comparing yourself with others is the equivelant of putting a noose around your neck. Take that noose off and begin to learn to love yourself for who you are.

When you begin to love yourself and learn how to live in your skin. Start sharing who you are with the those around you. When people take notice of you, and someone will take notice of who you are and they will see gold in you. They will reconginize there is treasure in you, they will want that as part of their life. If you constantly dispise yourself, then no one will see what a treasure you are. Lord willing he will unite you with the wife he has chosen for you, which is beyond a blessing. Even with the trials that come after.

I met my wife here in Christian forums. When I stopped trying to look for that special someone and just be what the Lord made me to be. Our paths crossed, I helped her, and later discovered we were meant to be. We been married for 10 years now.

I pray this encourages you and that you find a way to love yourself and discover what the Lord made you to be.
 
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