It became apparent to me lately that I seem to have no ability to change my stagnant life.
For a bit of background, I have a congenital condition that makes it hard to work. Not working for most of my life has alienated me big time. For the past couple of years I've been looking into different options so I can work, including passive income. But even what I've researched are bad options for me right now, especially while I'm recovering from a surgery and I got an even bigger operation coming soon.
Besides wanting to work, I've been wanting to find a companion for my life. I'm 29 and I've always been single. Never been on a date, etc (yeah I know). For a couple of years now I've been praying to the Lord for help. I've tried the online dating apps, and I've even looked into lesser known dating apps for disabled people thinking there would be people that could relate to me (it turns out no one uses those sites, so yeah). I've been talking to girls a lot more from church, asked a couple of them out on dates, etc. Still nothing happened.
So what's my point?
I'm basically trapped in a box. I work and work and work, and all my efforts to achieve something new for my life show no results. I know I'm supposed to have faith that God will answer my prayers and help me with these things, but I've seriously lost hope. I'm just being honest. My life has been stagnant like this for many many years. I keep praying but I'm at the point now where I seriously think I'm going to die without ever experiencing the joy of love and romance, or even having some kind of career.
I don't know if maybe I'll have opportunities after my next surgery or not, but in the mean time I don't see the point in trying. I don't see any value in doing anything because nothing has happened up until this point. I feel like all there is for me to do is stay in my apartment, look over my Bible verses and play computer games.
I'm an alien. I can't relate to normal people and their occupations or relationships.
Am I right in thinking I don't have control of my life? Because I've been looking around all over and all the doors are closed. I know God is sovereign over our lives, but I don't know whats going on. I hope my life starts before I start getting old.
(Sorry for my negative attitude and all. But I had to write this and put it out there.)
For a bit of background, I have a congenital condition that makes it hard to work. Not working for most of my life has alienated me big time. For the past couple of years I've been looking into different options so I can work, including passive income. But even what I've researched are bad options for me right now, especially while I'm recovering from a surgery and I got an even bigger operation coming soon.
Besides wanting to work, I've been wanting to find a companion for my life. I'm 29 and I've always been single. Never been on a date, etc (yeah I know). For a couple of years now I've been praying to the Lord for help. I've tried the online dating apps, and I've even looked into lesser known dating apps for disabled people thinking there would be people that could relate to me (it turns out no one uses those sites, so yeah). I've been talking to girls a lot more from church, asked a couple of them out on dates, etc. Still nothing happened.
So what's my point?
I'm basically trapped in a box. I work and work and work, and all my efforts to achieve something new for my life show no results. I know I'm supposed to have faith that God will answer my prayers and help me with these things, but I've seriously lost hope. I'm just being honest. My life has been stagnant like this for many many years. I keep praying but I'm at the point now where I seriously think I'm going to die without ever experiencing the joy of love and romance, or even having some kind of career.
I don't know if maybe I'll have opportunities after my next surgery or not, but in the mean time I don't see the point in trying. I don't see any value in doing anything because nothing has happened up until this point. I feel like all there is for me to do is stay in my apartment, look over my Bible verses and play computer games.
I'm an alien. I can't relate to normal people and their occupations or relationships.
Am I right in thinking I don't have control of my life? Because I've been looking around all over and all the doors are closed. I know God is sovereign over our lives, but I don't know whats going on. I hope my life starts before I start getting old.
(Sorry for my negative attitude and all. But I had to write this and put it out there.)