God and teasing

LovebirdsFlying · Aug 9, 2019

I mean absolutely no blasphemy or disrespect whatsoever, but sometimes I feel that God teases me. He acts like He is going to let something wonderful happen, but then at the last minute it doesn't. Or I have it for a very short while, then He takes it away and laughs at my disappointment. Part of this is depressive thinking, I understand, but I need to explain my logic here.

God is my Father. On that we agree. The thing is, in my experience with natural parents, step-parents, and other close family members, teasing is what they do. As a child I've been, for example, teased while unwrapping my Christmas presents. "What did you get there? Oh, no. That's too expensive. We can't afford it. We're going to have to take that back to the store." Couldn't let me just enjoy Christmas, could they? Or, we're homeless and looking for a place to live. My mother and brothers have been out house-hunting. When they return to the shelter, my brothers run up to me all excited, describing in detail this wonderful house they found. Turns out there was no such house. They're just yanking my chain, so they could laugh at me and say, "Sucker!" After so many of these examples, I became afraid to get too happy about anything because it might be a trick.

So, cut to modern day. My husband, through little to no fault of his own, lost two jobs within three months. He is now on unemployment while searching for another job. He's been turned down for several, and I don't understand. He's a wonderful man. What are they not seeing? Why are they not hiring him? I myself have been disabled for years after a car accident, but I'm now rehabilitated to the point where I believe I might be able to work. I was supposed to start a temporary job with the US Census, but there has been red tape and entanglements. I'm told I'm not the only one in this predicament. There are thousands of people, they said, with their starting dates on hold because all of the ducks are not in a row yet. It was supposed to start a couple of weeks ago. But.... not yet. I'm not hearing anything. I was so happy to get this job... but now I'm being teased? I'm not really going to start a job after all? Is this another "sucker" trick?

Speaking of which, when my husband casually mentioned at church that his unemployment payments have started, a member of our church laughed and pointed her finger at him. "Ha ha, you're a bum!" Didn't bother him. Bugged the stuffing out of me. I mean, good grief, if someone were to lose a parent, I wouldn't point and laugh at them, "Ha ha, you're an orphan!" This is only one example (the most painful, I think) of teasing that goes on at church. But teasing is supposed to be OK, right? Someone says something unkind, and I'm not supposed to let it hurt my feelings, or else that's me being too sensitive and not having a sense of humor.

Deacons and others at our church have been reassuring me that God does not tease, toy, or troll. My reasoning (wrong though it may be) is that He's a Father, and that's what fathers do. Also, His church is His people. They represent Him. And they sure tease.

So if God doesn't tease, why do His people?

bèlla · Aug 9, 2019

I can attest the Holy Spirit has a sense of humor. But I’ve never experienced teasing you’ve referenced and I’m sorry you have. Being teased by others during difficult times is cruel and unloving. We want comfort and support. Not a cattle-prod.

Some people enjoy poking fun but they must be sensitive to other’s feelings. I’ll make sport of my mistakes and experiences through humorous storytelling. But to render the same to another is unfair. It’s difficult to guess their response. We may injure them unintentionally.

Lost4words · Aug 9, 2019

They are immature in both mind and spirit. For one must love ones neighbour.

Presbyterian Continuist · Aug 9, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
I mean absolutely no blasphemy or disrespect whatsoever, but sometimes I feel that God teases me. He acts like He is going to let something wonderful happen, but then at the last minute it doesn't. Or I have it for a very short while, then He takes it away and laughs at my disappointment. Part of this is depressive thinking, I understand, but I need to explain my logic here.

God is my Father. On that we agree. The thing is, in my experience with natural parents, step-parents, and other close family members, teasing is what they do. As a child I've been, for example, teased while unwrapping my Christmas presents. "What did you get there? Oh, no. That's too expensive. We can't afford it. We're going to have to take that back to the store." Couldn't let me just enjoy Christmas, could they? Or, we're homeless and looking for a place to live. My mother and brothers have been out house-hunting. When they return to the shelter, my brothers run up to me all excited, describing in detail this wonderful house they found. Turns out there was no such house. They're just yanking my chain, so they could laugh at me and say, "Sucker!" After so many of these examples, I became afraid to get too happy about anything because it might be a trick.

So, cut to modern day. My husband, through little to no fault of his own, lost two jobs within three months. He is now on unemployment while searching for another job. He's been turned down for several, and I don't understand. He's a wonderful man. What are they not seeing? Why are they not hiring him? I myself have been disabled for years after a car accident, but I'm now rehabilitated to the point where I believe I might be able to work. I was supposed to start a temporary job with the US Census, but there has been red tape and entanglements. I'm told I'm not the only one in this predicament. There are thousands of people, they said, with their starting dates on hold because all of the ducks are not in a row yet. It was supposed to start a couple of weeks ago. But.... not yet. I'm not hearing anything. I was so happy to get this job... but now I'm being teased? I'm not really going to start a job after all? Is this another "sucker" trick?

Speaking of which, when my husband casually mentioned at church that his unemployment payments have started, a member of our church laughed and pointed her finger at him. "Ha ha, you're a bum!" Didn't bother him. Bugged the stuffing out of me. I mean, good grief, if someone were to lose a parent, I wouldn't point and laugh at them, "Ha ha, you're an orphan!" This is only one example (the most painful, I think) of teasing that goes on at church. But teasing is supposed to be OK, right? Someone says something unkind, and I'm not supposed to let it hurt my feelings, or else that's me being too sensitive and not having a sense of humor.

Deacons and others at our church have been reassuring me that God does not tease, toy, or troll. My reasoning (wrong though it may be) is that He's a Father, and that's what fathers do. Also, His church is His people. They represent Him. And they sure tease.

So if God doesn't tease, why do His people?

The best way of knowing the true nature of God is to carefully study the life of Christ and see how He conducted Himself in every situation He found Himself in. I think He enjoyed having fun and laughter, as well as giving back to the Pharisees as much as they gave Him. But there is a Scripture that shows that He cannot "tease" in the way you are describing: "If a child asks for bread, would you give him a stone, and if he asks for fish, would you give him a snake? Then if any earthly father would give good gifts to his children, wouldn't your Heavenly Father do the same?" Through this we see that God is a good God and every good gifts comes from the Father to us. He doesn't promise something and then gives something else. Jesus said to His disciples about the mansions prepared for them. He said that if it were not so, He would have told them.

The problem is that not all God's people are like Jesus. A wise pastor once told me that God does everything perfectly correct, but we have to forgive His servants sometimes. I think that it is an unreasonable expectation to expect all church people to conduct themselves like Jesus. Because of the nature of the community, church people can be over familiar and disrespectful in what they can say to others. This is especially true in churches where people almost live in each other's pockets and have a brother/sister attitude to each other. This gives rise to church busybodies who pry into the personal affairs of others, and gossip around the church.

If your husband became unemployed and had to go on welfare for a while until he found another job, what business is it of those who made that remark about him being a "bum"? If someone at church said that to my wife when I had to receive an unemployment benefit in between teaching jobs, she would have put a flea in that person's ear, and come home saying, "Some interfering old bag at your church said..." Some gossiping busybodies who make inappropriate remarks like that should think themselves fortunate that they don't get a punch in the nose for their trouble! They would deserve it! So, you would be well within your rights to up and say to anyone who says unfair things to you, "Shut up and go away. I'm not interesting in your interfering comments!"

When Peter tried to interfere with Jesus when He said that He was going to Jerusalem, He said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are thinking of the affairs of men and not of God!" Just think if someone in church said an unkind remark to you and you retorted, "Get behind me Satan!" That would shock them out of their cotton socks, and I guess they would keep away from you from then on; and you would be better off for it!

devin553344 · Aug 9, 2019

I don't believe God teases. People that do may not be born again. You could pray for them. The type of teasing you're describing is really immature. Something you might expect from children that are good friends. But it is still dark humor

Presbyterian Continuist · Aug 9, 2019

devin553344 said:
I don't believe God teases. People that do may not be born again. You could pray for them. The type of teasing you're describing is really immature. Something you might expect from children that are good friends. But it is still dark humor

I agree. I find the best humour is to laugh at myself and concentrate on the less serious aspect of life. My view is that life is too serious to take it seriously. But I don't like the one-liners of a particular comedian who uses the "no respect" line and totally rubbishes himself. But I do like Milton Jones who is very funny and witty. My favourite church cartoon is one where the usher is directing a visiting couple to either the "snoring" or "non-snoring" section of the church! Church life just opens itself to good humour, but making fun of God and Jesus isn't. I believe that good humour has a healing effect.

I worked for ten years as a ministry of justice victim advisor. We dealt domestic violence cases mostly. Some were quite distressing. My humour in the office was a positive point on my performance appraisal because it lifted the mood of the office at times. My team leader once said, "I'm just going to shoot down to the file room for a file!" I told her that I would walk down like a normal person!
Another time she was reading a summary of facts about what happened in a domestic violence case and she remarked, "You're joking!" as she read it. I said to her, "That's not joking. The unsuccessful Scottish hunter went out into the fog and mist. That's joking!"

com7fy8 · Aug 9, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
Or I have it for a very short while, then He takes it away and laughs at my disappointment.

You are a lady of Jesus and you are a married woman. So, with respect to you and greetings to your husband . . .

Our Apostle Paul says >

"I will not be brought under the power of any" (in 1 Corinthians 6:12).

So, we need to be strong so things can't get us under their power. If they can, then this can mean we need to go through things so we get stronger in submitting to how God rules us and keeps us in His peace > Colossians 3:15 > and yes we do have feelings, but we need to keep with being "thankful", more and more maturely.

And test every thing for the good God can do with it >

"Test all things; hold fast what is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

When things and people test you, you be on top of things in prayer, by testing for how God will bring His good. Be ready for how God will do good which is all-loving, not only fixing things for you and ones close to you.

Have you read and fed on how Joseph used his horrible situation? > Genesis 37-50. Notice how with God Joseph used his situation not only to work out for him, but with all-loving benefits.

LovebirdsFlying said:
After so many of these examples, I became afraid to get too happy about anything because it might be a trick.

1 Corinthians 6:12

LovebirdsFlying said:
I was so happy to get this job... but now I'm being teased?

maybe tested

LovebirdsFlying said:
Speaking of which, when my husband casually mentioned at church that his unemployment payments have started, a member of our church laughed and pointed her finger at him. "Ha ha, you're a bum!" Didn't bother him. Bugged the stuffing out of me.

People have different lines drawn about what is ok teasing and what isn't. It depends on the relationship with the person teasing your husband. You should know her, perhaps, so you would know where she is coming from.

There are people who do more kidding, than others. And ones, in my experience, can be very insecure so they have to create ways to communicate but don't do it well . . . while others are kind to everyone, very giving, and their way of kidding is included in how generous they are to give people attention. And there are people who have such hard and horrible stuff going on, that they are desperate to have something to laugh about; so they create things to laugh about, by kidding and joking.

So, it's good to get to know people, so you understand how each one is doing.

Sometimes, I have said something about my own self, kidding, but someone else took it as truth and disagreed. I thought it was easy enough to see I was making a put-down joke about myself. At least the person appreciated me enough to stand up for me!

But it seems I have a reputation for telling the truth, and being serious and quiet, so people can take anything I say to be meant to tell the truth; so I might not be wise to kid, unless I have a close understanding with someone who can laugh about it.

MasterYourLife · Aug 9, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
I mean absolutely no blasphemy or disrespect whatsoever, but sometimes I feel that God teases me. He acts like He is going to let something wonderful happen, but then at the last minute it doesn't. Or I have it for a very short while, then He takes it away and laughs at my disappointment. Part of this is depressive thinking, I understand, but I need to explain my logic here.

God is my Father. On that we agree. The thing is, in my experience with natural parents, step-parents, and other close family members, teasing is what they do. As a child I've been, for example, teased while unwrapping my Christmas presents. "What did you get there? Oh, no. That's too expensive. We can't afford it. We're going to have to take that back to the store." Couldn't let me just enjoy Christmas, could they? Or, we're homeless and looking for a place to live. My mother and brothers have been out house-hunting. When they return to the shelter, my brothers run up to me all excited, describing in detail this wonderful house they found. Turns out there was no such house. They're just yanking my chain, so they could laugh at me and say, "Sucker!" After so many of these examples, I became afraid to get too happy about anything because it might be a trick.

So, cut to modern day. My husband, through little to no fault of his own, lost two jobs within three months. He is now on unemployment while searching for another job. He's been turned down for several, and I don't understand. He's a wonderful man. What are they not seeing? Why are they not hiring him? I myself have been disabled for years after a car accident, but I'm now rehabilitated to the point where I believe I might be able to work. I was supposed to start a temporary job with the US Census, but there has been red tape and entanglements. I'm told I'm not the only one in this predicament. There are thousands of people, they said, with their starting dates on hold because all of the ducks are not in a row yet. It was supposed to start a couple of weeks ago. But.... not yet. I'm not hearing anything. I was so happy to get this job... but now I'm being teased? I'm not really going to start a job after all? Is this another "sucker" trick?

Speaking of which, when my husband casually mentioned at church that his unemployment payments have started, a member of our church laughed and pointed her finger at him. "Ha ha, you're a bum!" Didn't bother him. Bugged the stuffing out of me. I mean, good grief, if someone were to lose a parent, I wouldn't point and laugh at them, "Ha ha, you're an orphan!" This is only one example (the most painful, I think) of teasing that goes on at church. But teasing is supposed to be OK, right? Someone says something unkind, and I'm not supposed to let it hurt my feelings, or else that's me being too sensitive and not having a sense of humor.

Deacons and others at our church have been reassuring me that God does not tease, toy, or troll. My reasoning (wrong though it may be) is that He's a Father, and that's what fathers do. Also, His church is His people. They represent Him. And they sure tease.

So if God doesn't tease, why do His people?

I think this is a common question mostly from unbelievers. Why does God let innocent people die, cancer, disabilities, abortion, etc. This question falls in the same category of not understanding Gods will.
As Jesus said, life isn't meant to be easy as a Christian. In general we have to attribute bad things to the world, not God.

However, there is something to say for why God does certain things. Looking at the book of Job, God took everything he had and made his life miserable. But Job always trusted God.

God does thing with purpose, not because He's bored and wants to "tease" people.

Presbyterian Continuist · Aug 9, 2019

I would like to add concerning "foolish jesting" that might worry some about using humour. I think that motive has a lot to do with it. I love stand-up comedy if it is good, clean, is not racist, sarcastic, or depreciating of self and others. If I am listing or viewing a stand-up comic and he uses four-letter words or smut, I turn him off. I have no time for people like that.

But then I am somewhat hypocritical, because I enjoy Billy Connolly, and after enjoying a performance on Youtube, I feel like I have to repent. I don't like his choice of language, but I enjoy the wit of his humour. He explained his use of language in that it was normal in the dockyards where he was brought up. I did fast-forward the parts where he was putting Christ down and ridiculing God.

I do enjoy the Dean Martin celebrity roasts, because their humour in the 1970s was clean and witty,but the later roasts with the smut and four letter words were just rubbish to me.

So, I guess one has to be discerning about what is and what is not appropriate with humour. There is an Irish couple in my church who just love Irish jokes, and they tell them to me and we have a good laugh. But the only time I felt ashamed of a joke I told was one I told to a Mexican man which had the punch lime "Remember the Alamo", and he didn't laugh. I felt like a stand-up comedian who died on the stage because no one laughed at his jokes.

I can think of nothing worse than a female stand-up comedian who uses four-letter words and sexual smut in her act. There are a couple of lesbian comedians who do it all the time, and I don't have any time for their humour. It is the same with gay comedians who use gay sex references as well. I find these very unfunny.

But Stephen Wright is a very funny comedian and his off-beat humour makes me laugh out loud. Les Dawson is another one. These are the cream of comedy and whenever I feel like just sitting down and having a bit of comedic relief for a while, those are the ones I love watching and enjoying their humour.

William Shakespeare was a master at balancing drama, tragedy and comedy. In Macbeth, while the king was being murdered, the scene shifted to a couple of funny guys having a totally ridiculous conversation at the town gates. But the comedy just intensified the tragedy because we knew all the time that there was a murder happening in the background. He used comedic relief in the middle of a drama to help the audience to relax, take a breath of humour, and then be prepared for the next dramatic episode.

It reminds me a the scene of a castle and a female voice crying, "Out damned spot!" and a little black and white dog runs out the front door.

Presbyterian Continuist · Aug 9, 2019

Oh, the cost of a mis-print!!

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned
to helping the other monks in copying the old canons
and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are
copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to question
this, pointing out that if someone made even a small
error in the first copy, it would never be picked up!
In fact, that error would be continued in all of
the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying
from the copies for centuries, but you make a
good point, my son." He goes down into the dark
caves underneath the monastery where the original
manuscripts are held

as archives, in a locked vault that hasn't
been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by
and nobody sees the Old Abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to
look for him. He sees him banging his head against
the wall and wailing.

"We missed the R! We missed the R!
We missed the letter R!"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is
crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old
abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies,
"The word was ..

CELEBRATE!"

JCFantasy23 · Aug 9, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
Speaking of which, when my husband casually mentioned at church that his unemployment payments have started, a member of our church laughed and pointed her finger at him. "Ha ha, you're a bum!" Didn't bother him. Bugged the stuffing out of me

Wow. That is so rude, callous, and immature. I would be bugged too.

God doesn't tease or torment his children, but life can be so unfair and rough. You are in my prayers. **Hugs**

FreeinChrist · Aug 9, 2019

I don't believe that God teases. We have to live in a sinful world and deal with all that entails. It sure isn't easy.

People say things that they mean in jest but can be hurtful and insensitive. A former pastor of mine use to say that we all need to forgive each other for being human. We all try, we all fall short in many ways. I sure have said insensitive things that came out differently than intended. Perhaps that man at church did the same thing? It wasn't nice, though.

St. Helens · Aug 9, 2019

Teasing is a very human attribute. It comes from our fallen nature. In some way people still retain that side that develops in childhood where they have to tease their siblings and playmates. I am so sorry to hear that people in positions of trust in your life did that to you. When a parent does something like teasing to a child it can color that child's perception of God. A child as he matures into adulthood tends to fashion his perception of God after his parents, especially his father. If the father is very flawed, then the lens through which God is viewed can be effected.

Humans are sinful beings and teasing is a product of that sinful nature. God is perfect and loving. He would never mistreat or tease His child.

The problems in life that come our way are a product of the brokenness of our world. As I have said to my husband many times, this world is a cesspit. It is going to be filled with woe. As long as we walk this path in this life we will face woes, but there will also be good times. I have also walked my own long and difficult road of health problems.

It may be night, but morning is coming. What doesn't break you will make you stronger. The storms make the Oak stronger.

Hang onto to Jesus. Spend time in prayer, in the Word, and continue to place your trust in Him.

(((((LoveBirdsFlying)))))

LovebirdsFlying · Aug 10, 2019

Thank you, everyone, for all of the thoughtful and uplifting responses. Please continue to pray. Hubby is applying and applying for jobs... it's not for lack of trying on his part. If there is one thing he is NOT, it's a bum.

Which brings to mind something God may have whispered into my ear about that thoughtless comment, soon after I made the first post but before any answers came in. There is a small but important difference between what this "teasing" church member said, and my counterexample. You see, someone who has lost a parent really is an orphan. Saying so would be the truth, not a joke, and therefore would not be funny. But since my husband is in reality not a bum, then saying so is not the truth, and supposedly that's why it's a joke. Whether or not it's funny is a different story.

But it's not like I've never said anything inappropriate, or made wisecracks that fell flatter than Kansas, is it? I suppose we all have.

I didn't confront that church member for a couple of reasons. One, the remark was aimed at my husband, not me, and it didn't bother him. Two, I knew the response if I mentioned it would be, "I was only joking." I figured, what was the use of saying anything? So I didn't.

grandvizier1006 · Aug 10, 2019

I'm a bit confused. Are you upset that other people are teasing you (which is absolutely awful, BTW) or that you feel like God is?

In any case, I can certainly relate to being made fun of. Someone at my church who is friends with one of my friends has this bizarre habit of making fun of virtually everyone he talks to. I tried to talk to my actual friend about it, but he just made excuses for his behavior, claiming it was somehow a very Christian thing for him to make fun of me constantly because mocking me for my insecurities is supposed to make me aware of them. As if you need someone to tell you what's wrong with you! I think, in some weird way, this guy thinks he's "helping" me, but when I invited him to my house my mom observed his behavior and was appalled and told me point-blank, "He's a bully, you don't have to put up with him." Thankfully he is moving to another country in a month.

So while it's absolutely awful that people in church are making fun of your husband for something that he can't help and don't see anything wrong with it, it's happened to me and countless other people as well.

As for God teasing people, it's interesting how the word "tease" can have different connotations. When I was a child, I remember my dad saying sarcastic things. When I would believe him because I didn't know any better, he would say, "Oh, I'm just teasing!" He meant teasing not in the sense of "I'm mocking you" but "I was being sarcastic." For years, my dad's incorrect definition of the word had me confused, but the correct definition is closer to mockery than sarcasm. Nevertheless, I think it's considered a "gentler" word, so that if someone makes fun of you they can say they were "just teasing" to mean that they aren't being malicious with their jokes. Still, the people who called your husband a bum should apologize because even if they meant that as a joke it's still hurtful. When I tried to tell my friend I didn't like the jokes his friend was making about me to my face, he basically seemed to imply that I was the one with the problem for being offended. I completely disagreed and while my friend and I are still close, he let me down by thinking mockery was acceptable just because it was coming from a "Christian".

If people keep up this behavior towards you and your husband, then they probably have some problem much like the person who kept making fun of me. You should confront them if things get bad, and if they don't listen, take it to an authority in church that you can trust to mediate effectively. A lot of times people don't see anything wrong with the jokes they make because they're not on the receiving end. Hopefully if they realize you were hurt they'll apologize.

LovebirdsFlying · Aug 10, 2019

grandvizier1006 said:
I'm a bit confused. Are you upset that other people are teasing you (which is absolutely awful, BTW) or that you feel like God is?

Well, both. I don't like being teased under painful circumstances, especially by God's children. And I do wonder sometimes if He does it Himself, although it's being explained to me that He does not. Thank you again for these responses.

Presbyterian Continuist · Aug 11, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
Well, both. I don't like being teased under painful circumstances, especially by God's children. And I do wonder sometimes if He does it Himself, although it's being explained to me that He does not. Thank you again for these responses.

Anyone who teases a person in such a way that demeans them and makes them feel less than a fully blood-bought child fully adopted into God's family, is demeaning the Christ within them and therefore inappropriately demeaning God Himself.

Joined2krist · Aug 11, 2019

Perhaps the person who teased your husband in church has that sort of relationship with your husband where they both tease each other for laughs. I will be shocked if a supposedly mature Christian adult will tease someone going through hard times just to spite him, then he isn't acting like a Christian should if this is the case

Does God tease us? no, I don't think so because God isn't mean rather he is compassionate, He isn't happy to see us suffer unless the experience is teaching us something good. Perhaps you should ask God why you're experiencing things like that, what's He trying to teach you, what would He like you to know? speak to Him in prayers and spend time listening as He gives the answers to you. God bless

tampasteve · Aug 12, 2019

I do not believe God teases, and I do not believe that He is involved in our daily lives as much as many people want to think. I believe that what happens is just....life - for fair or worse. People get sick, people are mean, people are nice, good things happen, bad things happen. Usually these are the works of other people or viruses or whatever, but they are not God being good or bad.

I will pray for comfort and that people can be a blessing for you, that you and your husband can stand strong together and in love for each other.

God and teasing

My husband drew this cartoon of me.

❤️

Jesus I Trust In You

Senior Veteran

I believe in the Resurrection

Senior Veteran

Well-Known Member

Active Member

Senior Veteran

Senior Veteran

In a Kingdom by the Sea.

CF Advisory team

I stand with Israel

My husband drew this cartoon of me.

I don't use this anymore, but I still follow Jesus

My husband drew this cartoon of me.

Senior Veteran

Well-Known Member

Pray for peace in Israel

Similar threads