"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" Author Changes His Mind (as do many others)

Paidiske

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I read a similar article pointed to from Facebook. Unfortunately when I go back to Facebook I don't see the same things, so I don't have a pointer. My reaction was that he was unwilling to face up to the things that had led him to his false conclusions. In that article he hadn't yet said he wasn't a Christian. But it was clear that he was more willing to leave Christianity than to consider that he might have misunderstood Jesus' intention, and to look at what approach to Scripture led him to that mistake.

He made a very telling observation. If he abandoned traditional conservative Christianity, what guarnatee did he have the 100 years from now people wouldn't find even his new understanding wrong? He seemed to think that Christianity was useless if it didn't stay the same forever.

I'm sorry, but even the Catholic church isn't the same now as 100 years ago, in the 16th Cent, in Augustine's time, or in the early church.

To me, it's a real danger if Christians have such an unrealistic concept of human knowledge that when they realize they've made a mistake they leave Christianity rather than trying to see why they made the mistake and fix it.

There were some actual theological problems behind purity culture, starting with the fact that purity was the Pharisees' ideal, and not Jesus'. Jesus' ideal was obedience. They're not the same thing, and they have different pastoral consequences. By simply giving up, he's avoiding facing the mistakes that he made.

I agree, but I also think it's a process to work through. Right now he's grieving; grieving his marriage, grieving his vocation, grieving his faith as he knew it. It's going to take time to work through all of that and come to a place of growth.

I am absolutely certain - I've seen other people do the same thing - that he can come out of this with a renewed, perhaps wiser faith than he had before; but to expect him to be there immediately is a bit unrealistic and harsh.
 
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ViaCrucis

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The NRSV notwithstanding, that's no proof of prostitution; it can only be evidence (maybe) of previous sexual activity.

The KJV has it "play the harlot." Playing isn't the same as being. The Blue Letter Bible links that phrase to the Hebrew word zanah. Zanah You'll note that the word is most commonly--but not always--used for adultery. Since that cannot be the case here and since the word can be used for fornication, I conclude that the Bible condemns women to death for premarital sex.

According to the Jewish sage Rashi the crime here is committing adultery; for the woman had betrayed her betrothed--they were not yet formally married, but had already been given to one another.

I'm not saying killing a girl for cheating on her fiance is any better, but this does provide a better context for the overall concept described at least from the culture in which this is written.

-CryptoLutheran
 
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Celibate Life

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Yes, but he was according to a article he was a controversial man in the first place telling other how to live their lives but He did not live it. So in a way he was a controlling pastor. Why did he say he was sorry to those those in the various areas he said something about. So in a way my statement is true.
 
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Tinker Grey

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According to the Jewish sage Rashi the crime here is committing adultery; for the woman had betrayed her betrothed--they were not yet formally married, but had already been given to one another.

I'm not saying killing a girl for cheating on her fiance is any better, but this does provide a better context for the overall concept described at least from the culture in which this is written.

-CryptoLutheran
I appreciate your contribution. However, I have to think Rashi is engaging in post hoc rationalization. Honestly, nothing about the passage suggests his interpretation. This interpretation seems motivated to make it less horrible.
 
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bèlla

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Yes, but he was according to a article he was a controversial man in the first place telling other how to live their lives but He did not live it.

He wrote a book. If you took the words as gospel and followed his advice devoid of prayer and discernment who’s to blame?
 
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ViaCrucis

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Rajni

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Yes, but he was according to a article he was a controversial man in the first place telling other how to live their lives but He did not live it. So in a way he was a controlling pastor. Why did he say he was sorry to those those in the various areas he said something about. So in a way my statement is true.
That's different from what you said previously, which was that he was not a Christian or Jesus follower in the first place. Genuine Christians/Jesus-followers can also be controversial people telling others how to live their lives while not living it and being controlling pastors.

And if he was like that, why would you object to him saying he was sorry about that? If someone does something wrong and apologizes, that's a good thing.
 
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Dave-W

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That's different from what you said previously, which was that he was not a Christian or Jesus follower in the first place.
He was a pastor in a REFORM (Calvinist) congregation. That means if he fell away, he could not have ever been part of the "elect." He was never a Christian to begin with. (according to Calvinist doctrine)
 
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Dave-W

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He wrote a book. If you took the words as gospel and followed his advice devoid of prayer and discernment who’s to blame?
Hundreds or thousands of congregations across the US taught that book as if it were gospel.

If you want to know the fruit of it (you shall know them by their fruits) do a google search on “Purity Culture fail.”
 
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bèlla

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Hundreds or thousands of congregations across the US taught that book as if it were gospel.

If you want to know the fruit of it (you shall know them by their fruits) do a google search on “Purity Culture fail.”

I read the book. My daughter didn’t like youth ministry. She went to an adult group and was eventually allowed to study with the women’s groups (to avert issues because she was underage). There were a lot of kids with years of religious teachings but few were truly believers.
 
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Dave-W

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There were a lot of kids with years of religious teachings but few were truly believers.
Unfortunately that is very common. And everyone wonders WHY they "fall away" in college.
 
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bèlla

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Unfortunately that is very common. And everyone wonders WHY they "fall away" in college.

I understand how it happens. It was more like a social club.

I think most are over-churched and burned out. If I had children I’d teach them at home utilizing life lessons like I did with my daughter. I suspect the structure and over scheduling has taken a toll.
 
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Rajni

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He was a pastor in a REFORM (Calvinist) congregation. That means if he fell away, he could not have ever been part of the "elect." He was never a Christian to begin with. (according to Calvinist doctrine)
Well, that's Calvinism for ya!
 
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RestoreTheJoy

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Your statement is not true. Jesus knows His own and the Bible states it quite clearly that if He is was a true follower ofJesus He would have repented and not left the faith he said he once had. If someone has a true faith in Jesus and denies it later and then if they are a true believer they will come back to a faith later. Jesus said if you deny the Father before men then the Father will deny you.
It's not over until it's over though. He may have walked away now. He may well come back when he sees the destitution of the world's view and values.

I suspect more revelations will be coming prior to that. When a house of cards falls, it's not just one thing that falls. So far his faith and his marriage have fallen. That might be enough. Might not.
 
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