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what are you feeling right now? (24)

Yusuphhai

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i am reading a book <<Science and Faith>>. And I am praying for the Nuclear safe of the whole world, though I can only do a little bit. May the military nuclear key of China is in God's Hands.

Blessings to all! :wave:
 
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Lost4words

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I feel depressed.

All I want in a normal life. Why did God think I was unworthy of it? I keep asking this question at church and the best answers they can give me are cop out answers.

How can God be good when some get an abundance and others get the raw deal?

What is not normal about your life my friend?
 
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Lost4words

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Life without disability, having a job, having a social life, getting married, having my own house, not being treated like a child while in my twenties, having a childhood that isn't riddled with hospital visits and psychology appointments, not having to take medication in order to feel like a normal person, going to parties, getting an education, not being crap at everything except for a handful of things, being able to have skills to put food on the table...

Basically everything neurotypicals take for granted that I have to work a million times harder to have. You NT's live very charmed lives and yet still see fit to patronize me by telling me that there is no normal.

I see. Sorry my friend. You are carrying a heavy cross.

All i can say is, offer it up to God. Lay all your problems at His feet. Jesus is carrying you while you carry that cross of yours.

Easy to say do this, do that etc. I am not in your shoes.

I have issues myself in life. The only way i can carry on is by turning to God again and again. Offering up my issues.

God bless you my friend. May God wrap His healing and loving arms around you.
 
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Jeshu

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Life without disability, having a job, having a social life, getting married, having my own house, not being treated like a child while in my twenties, having a childhood that isn't riddled with hospital visits and psychology appointments, not having to take medication in order to feel like a normal person, going to parties, getting an education, not being crap at everything except for a handful of things, being able to have skills to put food on the table...

Basically everything neurotypicals take for granted that I have to work a million times harder to have. You NT's live very charmed lives and yet still see fit to patronize me by telling me that there is no normal.

The issue is that it is not the truth brother. The truth is that you have a disability and you have many issues you have to deal with. As to the whys, i don't fully understand i know apart of the fact that Creation has wrong is in it, and i know this effects some people a lot more than others.

i know that God suffers wrong, what has gone wrong for you, He suffers as well along with you. All things gone wrong He suffers and laid down His life for.

Now you can walk through life feeling hard done by with God or you can get to know Him as your heavenly Father, brother, Saviour, king and friend. You can be angry with Him about why He allowed wrong to enter this world or you can be thankful that He is going to do something about that in the future while giving you all the grace and all the help you need to be able to access that.

i know that i really struggled with God for making me the way He has, but that kept me away from His grace and from His love and brought me much bitterness. However when i pondered on the cross and what Jesus has to say about wrong being suffered by the truth out of love then i began to comprehend how wonderful that victory on the cross truly is. God has an awesome place in our suffering for we can go to Him for renewal and find the very goodness life gone wrong has denied us.

Be of good courage and cement your relationship with Jesus in love and you will mine a beautiful life in and with Jesus despite your handicaps now. Where you can come to acceptance and let Jesus shape something very special out of your life.

Much love your way.

Romans 9:25-26
As he says in Hosea:

“I will call them ‘my people’ who are not my people;
and I will call her ‘my loved one’ who is not my loved one,”


and,

“In the very place where it was said to them,
‘You are not my people,’
there they will be called ‘children of the living God.’”
 
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Jeshu

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Feeling very thankful that this past week has gone so well. i was so worried last week how it would go because i had such a hard week then. However i did well. i did go back on anti-psychotics and that seemed to have really helped. Hardly any depressive spells last week. Tomorrow back on the 5-htp i might see how they go with my anti-psychotics, it might be a bit of an overkill. i don't want to get depressed again if i can help it.

i have been actively programming again last week. i've not been able to do that for about 6-8 months now because of lack of concentration and stimulation. After buying my games from Gog games for a long time now, i now decided to join Steam and down loaded a heap of new games.

i had to incorporate these games with my other games and make them come up on the gaming menu. i designed it for the kids when they couldn't read yet. And of course didn't know how to change screen resolutions or how to run another games when they finished playing one. i hate a desktop full of icons, so i wrote a script to handle that for them.

Also my computer goes automatically off line when we don't use the internet, however a lot of Steam games need the games to be online. So i needed to automate connecting when these games are played. Got it all up and running now. Most of the grand kids haven't been yet, but they will be surprised to see all the new games and much more modern than they are used to.


Any way i hope you are all well. God's love and blessing this coming week.

Peace.
 
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I lost 64 pounds and gained 40 of it back. I don't like myself right now. I have a serious addiction to sugar and just...can't stop eating. gluttony is a sin...I know it's a sin and it's an addicting sin which I'm having a heck of a time abstaining from. Satan sure knows how to use our weaknesses against us. Ugh.. so ashamed of myself.
 
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Jeshu

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I lost 64 pounds and gained 40 of it back. I don't like myself right now. I have a serious addiction to sugar and just...can't stop eating. gluttony is a sin...I know it's a sin and it's an addicting sin which I'm having a heck of a time abstaining from. Satan sure knows how to use our weaknesses against us. Ugh.. so ashamed of myself.

i found that the best way to deal with addictive sin is to get to know The Lord as you walk around in you addictive self. Learn to love the Lord for His loving grace over your fallen life and you will grow stronger than addictive powers can have over you.

Honest it is a foolproof method of dealing with unovercomeable sin. For the more we fall the more we need His loving grace in this part of our lives and as His love grows within us there we begin to successfully love ourselves away from addictive powers.

Do understand that addictive sin have to do with our sense of well being. When we feel bad life then we begin to long after good feelings and we begin to gain good in a wrong way which is addictive, because, although over time we loose more good than we gain, it seems in the short term that we gain when we consume the object of our addiction. A real trap satan catching us in our weaknesses.

i have learned to understand that feeling guilty and ashamed makes things worse - for that means we have been listening to our guilty consciences - the accuser of the brethren resides there - and not to the forgiving love of Jesus. However when we hear a guilty conscience then we know it is high time we go to Jesus for cleansing. With Him no guilty conscience but a thankfully loving heart - and a loving heart is much stronger fighting addiction than someone with a low self esteem.

So please go to Jesus feeling disgusted with yourself and repent from that and ask for grace and begin to cultivate love in this part of your life for His love will heal you, even if fallen you can't do that, His graceful loving truth can, and will, so please do give him a chance there in your life.

Be of good courage.

Isaiah 55
“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a ruler and commander of the peoples.
Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor.”



Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.:prayer::prayer::prayer:



“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.:amen:
You will go out in joy:clap:
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure forever.”:oldthumbsup::oldthumbsup::oldthumbsup:
 
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I lost 64 pounds and gained 40 of it back. I don't like myself right now. I have a serious addiction to sugar and just...can't stop eating. gluttony is a sin...I know it's a sin and it's an addicting sin which I'm having a heck of a time abstaining from. Satan sure knows how to use our weaknesses against us. Ugh.. so ashamed of myself.

What is triggering your temptation to eat sugar or overeat? For example, when I am sad, I eat ice cream or find something else comforting to eat. I had to find the source of my sadness. It began when I started cleaning up my house. Cleaning the house made me upset because my mother would always force me to clean the house all the time and yell at me if it wasn't to her liking. I had to trace back to the root of my depression (my mother making me feel like a slave in the past) and what triggered it (cleaning up my own house in the present). Your addiction is just a symptom or physical manifestation of something else (a root problem) that is causing it. So again, think back to the past. What is triggering you and making you feel compelled to overeat and consume a lot of sugar when you already know its not the best thing to do in the first place? God can use that weakness to deliver you from the hands of the enemy. Once you come to this revelation you will begin to thank God for that weakness and allowing Him to turn things around.
 
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Jeshu

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I apologize if I seem really angry right now.

It's frustrating because I have all these questions about why is my life is like this and what God is planning to do about it. No one at my church can answer them in spite of all their claimed spiritual gifting. It seems to me I just have to wait to die or get raptured in order to sit with God and have Him tell me why.

If God will allow it, I'd love to live another life on Earth without the disabilities and dysfunctional family. I'd prefer to be born no earlier than 1970 and live no later than 2012. I'd want to live in Ottawa instead of some small town in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do but drinking and fishing. I'd like to just live life without having to prove myself worthy of basic human kindness most NT's take for granted.

One can only dream.

i'm not sure if my perspective of things will change anything for you. For many years i felt very similar to you. i asked why God had made me the way He did, i could not see His purpose in my suffering or why He would have purposed my existence in the hell i was finding myself in.

Then unexpectedly Jesus took me Upstairs one day and had me begging God to heal me from my illness. Which was my heart's desire at the time. You know what He said? I have made you to be like you are as a demonstration of My glory. He didn't heal me but send me back to love His children as i was.

Honest brother i can never tell you how disappointed i was with God! Like a slap in the face! My suffering be for His glory? i couldn't understand what He meant when He said that. My life was in shambles. i was in and out of hospital, my own family run scared of me and i hated myself. i was often so of the planet that i could trust anything i heard or saw.

Luckily Jesus came to my rescue. Through His word He explained that He loved me as i was, sinner and all. He also loved me the sick person i was and wanted to make good what i had missed out on suffering as i had done. However i would first have to learn to love myself, like He and all Heaven loved me and stop thinking i was fundamentally wrong, no good, disabled, handicapped or any any other way food for the wicked. For then i was opposed to His kingdom as such thinking only ever leads to the killing fields, and never to His glory.

For as Jesus explained this to me, He showed me how i had for years treated myself like everyone else thinking i was no good, not to be trusted, or loved or cared for, or taken seriously.

So i began to fight my bad self image and rejected all the previously ways i had dealt with myself and tried to love myself truthfully into God's kingdom. As i was, sick and all. It proved to be an enormous battle that took many years.

i began to use God's love for me and began to make that my foundation of my new self image. i build and build letting God's loving truth set everything straight.

Now, many years later, i begin to understand what God meant that i have been created to rule with Him and give Him glory being as i was. The healing love of God began from day one began to undo myself hate and dislike for myself and internalised His love for myself.

i understand everything from a completely different perceptive now. Where to my joy i see that my Down Syndrome daughter, who is severely mentally handicapped in the eyes of this world, with an intellectual age of just 1 1/2, is far further advanced in the Kingdom of God than i am. Her purity, honesty, devoid of wrong mannerisms, acute directness, and kind and gentle loving heart, surpasses that of most people, certainly mine. What i didn't see as good before now i see good in and where i saw saw good before i now see no good comes out of thinking like that.

This is what it is about brother. That you learn to be better than those who reject you as being a worthwhile creation, by not thinking of yourself like that, but learning with the love of God to overcome the bad life placed on you and letting Jesus turn it around to serve good life instead.

It can be done brother. You can be a beckon of light in this world because God has made you for His glory and that certainly means that He wants you to share in that glory, for that is how He is. He is the best God we could possibly serve. He loves you 100 percent even when you are stuck in bad life and turns it around to produces good life. He truly is Almighty in His ways.

So the answer is in my humble opinion is, don't ask why, for you wont get an answer till you go to heaven after you pass away from here, but ask yourself how you can let Jesus make something beautiful out of that for His glory, your neighbours benefit and your rightful place as His good creation.

Much love considering this and leaving the worldly opinions thinking about yourself behind and finding a whole new life in and with Jesus.

Peace

Matthew 19:29
"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life."
 
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Jeshu

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I wish I could trade lives with a NEET as my funds for neetdom are gone. Life is funny

How is it going brother? What are your impressions? How did you survive? Was it hard? How does it work financially do you get any income at all?

Let me know if i can help will you?

Blessings
 
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