Yeah seems family oriented.
Definitely. I’ve seen lots of families riding together. If you’re adventurous you can consider touring, racing, or scenic rides just because. What kind of bike are you considering?
Yeah - well I guess being muted during marriage is not good(!) But then again would you rather your spouse be muted or sleeping elsewhere? Those vows FOR BETTER FOR WORST people really underestimate it.
It isn’t a question of muting. It is the sin and coping mechanisms you can tolerate. Having a spouse who shuts down and isolates himself isn’t better. Problems are a fact of life. Some people face them head on and others bury their head in the sand. Avoidance never leads to happy endings.
Yeah before reaching CRISIS! Which is why (I said in some other thread) when you marry (that is the happiest day of your life) should each day sure you remain on that level - cos we don't go from HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE to DIVORCE MELTDOWN - that doesn't happen overnight that is a long gradual process!
That has less to do with your marriage and more to do with your approach to life. Marriage doesn’t equal happiness. Happy people know how to maintain their mindset through ups and downs. Euphoria isn’t happiness or joy either.
Real happiness is found in the mundane. Its the constancy of hope and certainty despite what’s taking place. It’s the upside, silver lining, etc.
I view your perspective from the position of daily bread. Being cognizant of the other and his contribution and the blessings we receive individually and as a pair helps.
I’m not talking gratitude but something deeper. I’m referencing expressions, behaviors and reminders that let the other know they’re loved, needed and valued.
I used to share those thoughts with someone I engaged with last year. I turned them into scrapbook pages. Little testaments of joy that could be bound into a book and handed over. The things I noticed often surprised him. Pleasantly so.
When we take care of the small things the bigger ones aren’t as hard to bear. A man wants to be respected, honored, admired and appreciated by his woman. So you pour into him liberally. Let the yeses outweigh the no’s and the can’s exceed the can’ts. That’s a good place to start.
You think I am drowning cos of that?
Not you personally. The figurative you in the statement.
look God closes doors for a reason - and tbh it would be classed as FOOLISH thoughts - me thinking about what me and her could have been when fact is (cold as this will sound) she is not a child of God (cos not everybody is a child of God).
That would imply He couldn’t provide what you sought in a godly companion and that isn’t correct. He knows what we’re looking for and His best is better than ours any day.
But, when he put it to me like that did make me think (and makes you think about your own salvation) which is why I hope (like you do about your guy) I hope she does accept Christ in her heart.
I expect him to come to faith before he departs this world. I would prefer it happen sooner so he can bear good fruit. I’m certain you desire the same for her.
But I made a choice and that decision has consequences. Oneness cannot occur if we aren’t unified. The absence of spiritual compatibility can’t be overcome.
No matter the kind acts. He doesn’t understand my root or the things that drive me. He’ll mistake my submission for subservience or weakness. He must be God’s man. It will never work if he isn’t.
Really do. Cos she has GOD LIKE WAYS in terms of kindness and sensitivity but that is not enough (in the eyes of God) it ain't................you have to be a believer and accept Christ and TRY to walk Christ-like (as tough as it is).
I understand. He has a heart for men and their struggles. The same thing I do here he does elsewhere and has for years. We were in the same circles offering help, support and encouragement. He knows the Word and is conversant in theology, philosophy and psychology. God has to redirect his efforts and heart towards Him and his purpose. But I can’t abandon my perch.
There will be a harvest. God has taken everything Satan used and flipped the script. Even my affliction. He permitted me to wander. But my experiences made me compassionate. Seeing others struggle affects my heart. I want them to have God’s best. Just like I do.
I agree 100% with that! Makes perfect sense. I think there is a stereotype that men want sex everyday and in marriage the woman is not as needing as the man - but tbh I think if you are married and happy - you are multiply with each other without it being a STRESS if you get me?
I want my husband to be fulfilled and to fulfill him. That’s the bottom line. Full stop. I had a church member tell me once that a man could want too much sex. I looked at her like she had three heads then she started laughing.
You can’t build a healthy relationship with garbage in your mind. If you bring negative beliefs about the opposite sex into your marriage you’ll have problems. You’ve got to get rid of them and stop feeding it. That starts when you’re single.
I was never a feminist and I steeped my mind in Christian teachings by women whose messages aligned with the Word. I want to be convicted when I’m out of order. Not justified or excused.
But that’s not a one time effort. You’ve got to keep it up. You get new ideas and influences that get you off course. And you need refreshing. So you can be like the Proverbs 31 woman who does him good not harm all his days.
My submission feeds his headship and the reverse holds true. When you’re operating on that plane godly happiness is the result. That’s what we’re after.
