I don't feel love, am I evil?

timewerx said:

Something to know about me is that I have limited expression of emotions.

Two of those emotions I lack is love and sorrow.

I do express a notion of "love" but without any feelings involved. For me, love is more about the concept of trust. Trust which can be gained through either spending time with the person or discernment.

Sorrow/loss I express differently. I get confusion mostly which isn't an emotion. I become a lot less efficient in things I normally do and make mistakes. I have to figure out how to do things differently than before.

I'm unable to cry as a result.

For someone I trust (and hence, love) like close relatives, trusted friends, I'd do my best to give them attention, help, time, and keep them safe.

Most people who knows me thinks I'm normal but to me, it's all just an act. I act to look normal, to blend in. But deep inside, I'm probably as cold as a computer.

My main goal in life is to gather as much information about our world in order to know the whole truth to know what really is good and evil. My instinct to care for people I trust and to be "good" according to the standards of this world is mostly about fulfilling that goal.

This makes me strongly drawn towards people who have genuine spiritual gifts as they help me gather information I can't get anywhere else. Most Christians only confuse me as they act in contrary to what they claim to believe.

What people see in me as "love" is all about purpose and action, but zero emotion.

So what gives?

Click to expand...

You're not evil. Some people, myself included, have to wear masks to survive. I have over 1000+ of them, and have mastered the art of Acting.

But with the help of Jesus living through me, I can be real. But I don't EVER want to be the real me, he scares me, it is truly terrifying.

Point is, I can somewhat understand what you are saying. That doesn't mean you have to give up. If it were to save a life, I would cast my fears away, and be serious for once. Afterwards put on my masks again.

Don't give up, and don't give in.

timewerx said:

Something to know about me is that I have limited expression of emotions.

Two of those emotions I lack is love and sorrow.

I do express a notion of "love" but without any feelings involved. For me, love is more about the concept of trust. Trust which can be gained through either spending time with the person or discernment.

Sorrow/loss I express differently. I get confusion mostly which isn't an emotion. I become a lot less efficient in things I normally do and make mistakes. I have to figure out how to do things differently than before.

I'm unable to cry as a result.

For someone I trust (and hence, love) like close relatives, trusted friends, I'd do my best to give them attention, help, time, and keep them safe.

Most people who knows me thinks I'm normal but to me, it's all just an act. I act to look normal, to blend in. But deep inside, I'm probably as cold as a computer.

My main goal in life is to gather as much information about our world in order to know the whole truth to know what really is good and evil. My instinct to care for people I trust and to be "good" according to the standards of this world is mostly about fulfilling that goal.

This makes me strongly drawn towards people who have genuine spiritual gifts as they help me gather information I can't get anywhere else. Most Christians only confuse me as they act in contrary to what they claim to believe.

What people see in me as "love" is all about purpose and action, but zero emotion.

So what gives?

Click to expand...

Thank you for honesty. That is valuable to others who feel similarly but can’t express it.

I think its okay to be different. I've learned that maybe the reason some people don't act like Christians is either lack of learning on their part or maybe they don't really care and actually aren't Christians. And I have to tell you that people have different reactions which might appear inappropriate to others. For instance, my husband was in ICU one time with a bad case of pneumonia. Our children and I were joking with him about death and burial plots; then I realized that a nurse overheard us and I felt the need to explain. The topic was normal for our family because my husband loved cemeteries and family trees.

timewerx said:

I do express a notion of "love" but without any feelings involved. For me, love is more about the concept of trust. Trust which can be gained through either spending time with the person or discernment.

Click to expand...

That's soundness. Many people go by the "feeling" of love without any accountability.
You seem to understand the biblical definition of love, including trust (1 Corinthians 13:7).
You are not evil; you are just calm and collected.

ChicanaRose said:

That's soundness. Many people go by the "feeling" of love without any accountability.
You seem to understand the biblical definition of love, including trust (1 Corinthians 13:7).
You are not evil; you are just calm and collected.

Click to expand...

Exactly!

timewerx said:

Something to know about me is that I have limited expression of emotions.

Two of those emotions I lack is love and sorrow.

I do express a notion of "love" but without any feelings involved. For me, love is more about the concept of trust. Trust which can be gained through either spending time with the person or discernment.

Sorrow/loss I express differently. I get confusion mostly which isn't an emotion. I become a lot less efficient in things I normally do and make mistakes. I have to figure out how to do things differently than before.

I'm unable to cry as a result.

For someone I trust (and hence, love) like close relatives, trusted friends, I'd do my best to give them attention, help, time, and keep them safe.

Most people who knows me thinks I'm normal but to me, it's all just an act. I act to look normal, to blend in. But deep inside, I'm probably as cold as a computer.

My main goal in life is to gather as much information about our world in order to know the whole truth to know what really is good and evil. My instinct to care for people I trust and to be "good" according to the standards of this world is mostly about fulfilling that goal.

This makes me strongly drawn towards people who have genuine spiritual gifts as they help me gather information I can't get anywhere else. Most Christians only confuse me as they act in contrary to what they claim to believe.

What people see in me as "love" is all about purpose and action, but zero emotion.

So what gives?

Click to expand...

It doesn't matter if you feel love, it only matters that you do it...

And that you do it from a place of real love, ect...

That's all that matters to God and Jesus...

God Bless!

The way you talk reminds me of myself. I still have trouble telling God I love him, because I know my selfishness and that obedience is love to God. But I've improved with other people, now namely my family, in feeling and expressing love for them when previously I didn't. For me, I think it has had to do with age and putting effort into my relationship with God. That's about all I got.

As long as you can say it and mean it and it comes from a place of real love, that's all that matters.

Feelings may follow, but don't automatically judge yourself unloving or uncaring (or beat yourself up) if they don't, ect...

Only judge yourself based on what I first said and have been saying...

God Bless!

Neogaia777 said:

As long as you can say it and mean it and it comes from a place of real love, that's all that matters.

Feelings may follow, but don't automatically judge yourself unloving or uncaring (or beat yourself up) if they don't, ect...

Only judge yourself based on what I first said and have been saying...

God Bless!

Click to expand...

Feelings are very fickle and fragile and dangerous and treacherous (and overrated) and can turn on you faster than you can say, well, "fill in the blank", ect...

You can't always trust what you feel, ect, and in fact, a lot of the time you can't, ect...

"The heart is treacherous and deceitful above all things", after all...

God values stability and consistency and self-control far above feeling or not feeling a certain or not a certain way about this or that or "whatever"...

Overrated...

And you don't want to be or become addicted to any of your kind of "feelings" either, or become "dependent" on them, which is exactly what actually happens in the brain, to the point to where you will go through pitiful withdraws and withdrawl symptoms, ect, to where you will do anything, act and behave very, very inappropriately, ect, just to feed that chemical addiction in the brain again, or just one more time, and then one more time after that, and then one more time after that, ect, ect, ect...

It a vicious cycle/roller coaster ride... Up/down, up/down, make me feel sick and want to throw up...

God Bless!

timewerx said:

What people see in me as "love" is all about purpose and action, but zero emotion.

Click to expand...

Love is a tricky thing. I tend to have a lot of judgemental thoughts and have a tough time suppressing and dismissing them, even towards people that I love. It's difficult for me to be as appreciative as I should. My emotional state tends to mirror or be strongly infuenced by the ones around me, so if someone is very joyful, I tend to 'love' that person, because I am experiencing what they are giving off. They have in some sense 'that stream of living water', I think, that Christ spoke about.

Lately, I've been praying for God to give me a faithful, loving heart. The heart that he wants me to have, his own heart, or if you will, "a heart after his own heart". I feel like that's a good prayer, and it has helped me. I try to take the actions of love, even if the feeling is not present. I don't let my feelings rules me, I try to submit them to Christ. But I think I have had to spend a lot of time trying to understand - what is love? Is it a feeling? An action? Is it the joy that we experience in the presence of someone? When I 'love' someone, in my own mind, the world (and by 'the world' I really mean 'my world' is a better place for their presence (but this can often be confused with infatuation for someone of the opposite sex) and in God's eyes the value of everyone is the same.

I think the immature definition of love is often really just "it brings me joy". And then, when it ceases to bring joy, we no longer love it. A better definition is "I choose to show the love of Christ, I will try to understand and to help and to show compassion". We can practice this love to any we meet, and it is the better kind of love.

timewerx said:

Something to know about me is that I have limited expression of emotions.

Two of those emotions I lack is love and sorrow.

I do express a notion of "love" but without any feelings involved. For me, love is more about the concept of trust. Trust which can be gained through either spending time with the person or discernment.

Sorrow/loss I express differently. I get confusion mostly which isn't an emotion. I become a lot less efficient in things I normally do and make mistakes. I have to figure out how to do things differently than before.

I'm unable to cry as a result.

For someone I trust (and hence, love) like close relatives, trusted friends, I'd do my best to give them attention, help, time, and keep them safe.

Most people who knows me thinks I'm normal but to me, it's all just an act. I act to look normal, to blend in. But deep inside, I'm probably as cold as a computer.

My main goal in life is to gather as much information about our world in order to know the whole truth to know what really is good and evil. My instinct to care for people I trust and to be "good" according to the standards of this world is mostly about fulfilling that goal.

This makes me strongly drawn towards people who have genuine spiritual gifts as they help me gather information I can't get anywhere else. Most Christians only confuse me as they act in contrary to what they claim to believe.

What people see in me as "love" is all about purpose and action, but zero emotion.

So what gives?

Click to expand...

Most Christians only confuse me as they act in contrary to what they claim to believe.

Click to expand...

We are all sinners ...christians included... we all know that. Yes, and many times we are a poor example ... where love comes in is understanding that. When we sin, and when we are made aware of it ... then we ask the Lord to help change us ... sometimes that takes time .... we ask for forgiveness. It's a process and all of us are going through that process ... throughout our lifetime.

You are who you are and God loves who you are. There is no one on earth exactly like you.

My main goal in life is to gather as much information about our world in order to know the whole truth to know what really is good and evil.

Click to expand...

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Study His Word diligently for yourself and you will receive light.

timewerx said:

I cannot be conformed to this world with my condition. Without feelings / emotions to appreciate worldly things, they have no purpose. I have no reason to participate in them.

Click to expand...

Then that's a blessing, only conform to what the bible says then. You are better off that way.

timewerx said:

For example, people who love money (the Bible says, don't love money, the love of money is the root of all evil). But I'm unsure if loving money is actually evil or not.

Click to expand...

Well, I think what it says is, you can't serve both God and mammon; you'll either love the one and hate the other or versa vice.

1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

But I think in practical terms, evil develops or has room to develop where something other than God is put first. Money tends to be one thing people focus on, it will buy all kinds of things here, but nothing in heaven. And people will cross lines for it - once they have it, they will want to keep it.

Matthew 6:19-20

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moths and vermin destroy and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.