Why is society so cruel on lonely single people?

VCR-2000 said:

I have empathized with people (especially younger ones at my age) who are single and haven't been in a relationship as it looks like they will be alone forever. I actually feel angry and frustrated at the world and it's lack of empathy as I type this.

Why does society treat people who are "involuntarily celibate" or romantically undesirable people so cruel?

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Agreed, unfortunately it is a fallen world.

VCR-2000 said:

I have empathized with people (especially younger ones at my age) who are single and haven't been in a relationship as it looks like they will be alone forever. I actually feel angry and frustrated at the world and it's lack of empathy as I type this.

Why does society treat people who are "involuntarily celibate" or romantically undesirable people so cruel?

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Because our society tells a few things:

1) that our worth is determined by others full stop
2) that to be single for so long means something is wrong with us
3) that those who don't play/buy into the markets for making oneself look good (beauty, having material things, having a lot of money, etc) are a waste of space in society

All of things are untrue but they are all part of the larger narrative that society puts out: that human life is not that valuable.

I am convinced that it is our fallen and degenerate culture that paved the way for this "epidemic," and frankly I believe the continual slope it is sliding under will affect us more in times to come.

VCR-2000 said:

I have empathized with people (especially younger ones at my age) who are single and haven't been in a relationship as it looks like they will be alone forever. I actually feel angry and frustrated at the world and it's lack of empathy as I type this.

Why does society treat people who are "involuntarily celibate" or romantically undesirable people so cruel?

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...if we're talking about American (i.e. U.S.) society, the situation that many single people find themselves in these days is probably due--in part--to the ongoing growth and conglomeration of the philosophy of "the Individualist, Glamorous life" that has taken hold, and taken its toll, since it began to spring up in the early 20th century and really took off after World War II.

Of course, truth be told, the social discombobulation that Americans keep promoting has been endemic to its political nature ever since its Colonial days. So, here we are, all sitting in an ever growing pluralistic nation that doesn't realize that with further and further ideological division and materialism comes...................further individual isolation, apathy, and loneliness.

VCR-2000 said:

Heh yep, that's what happens when any one philosophy gets dominance for too long.

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That's for sure!

But more importantly, how do you think we should grapple with this idea that some people are "romantically undesirable." What does this term mean precisely? [It's not a test question, I promise! I just think it might be helpful for us to consider the question since, when I was a younger man, I wasn't apparently one of the more 'desirable' fellows, and the ladies often made that clear to me. I'm wondering how it might be addressed, if it is indeed a social problem.]

I haven't observed a lot of anti-single bias in America, outside of the churches.

In other countries, there is a lot of pressure to get married, and not necessarily for love.

Gordon Wright said:

I haven't observed a lot of anti-single bias in America, outside of the churches.

In other countries, there is a lot of pressure to get married, and not necessarily for love.

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I haven't seen that many churches so I can't speak for them all but from my own experience, I haven't noticed any anti single bias there either. Nor have I seen any cruelty visited upon the single so I am at a loss as to where the OP has seen it as no examples of such cruelty were given by the OP. I have seen individual relationships move apart due to one person marrying while the other remains single but I have seen nothing cruel . I certainly haven't seen anything that would resemble societal cruelty.

VCR-2000 said:

I have empathized with people (especially younger ones at my age) who are single and haven't been in a relationship as it looks like they will be alone forever. I actually feel angry and frustrated at the world and it's lack of empathy as I type this.

Why does society treat people who are "involuntarily celibate" or romantically undesirable people so cruel?

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I can't tell you why. But, be with God. Then, trust me, either they will need you, or you will not need them anymore.

It's out there, both in Christendom and in secular culture. It's not everywhere. But some important points to keep in mind:

1. Don't accept the judgment of others on you, no matter who they are.
2. There are worse things than being single. A bad marriage is hell on earth. I pity some marrieds, I really do.
3. It was good enough for Jesus.

They make better slaves.

VCR-2000 said:

I have empathized with people (especially younger ones at my age) who are single and haven't been in a relationship as it looks like they will be alone forever. I actually feel angry and frustrated at the world and it's lack of empathy as I type this.

Why does society treat people who are "involuntarily celibate" or romantically undesirable people so cruel?

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People are animals. In a pack of dogs, they terrorize the suffering one. Humans do the same. Forgive them and love them in return. I'm telling you, you're better than most of them.

I think the OP is living in a bygone century. I know for a fact that there are women in this day and age who choose to be single. My daughter, and others in her circle, are attractive professionals (and yes they are healthy and straight), who have made the choice to be single. My daughter was engaged and broke the engagement because she felt the Lord wanted her to be unmarried so that she could devote herself to her career of helping children. I raised my daughters to be independent women who didn't need a man to prove they had worth or were attractive. My other two daughters chose to marry - one gave up her career to stay at home and homeschool her kids. The other is a hugely successful financial professional whose husband has the minor career and does the bulk of the childcare while she is the big breadwinner. It works fine for them and his masculinity is in no way threatened. He is a coach, a great husband and dad, and they are very happy. This isn't the 17th century. Relationships look different. Men and women are content in different roles. Not having "arm candy" at any particular time does not mean you are unattractive. In fact, it may be by choice.

rainingviolets said:

I know for a fact that there are women in this day and age who choose to be single.

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You’re correct. I feel the same and so does my daughter. She’s in her late twenties and has no interest in dating or marriage at this time. We are wholly invested in our purpose, entrepreneurship, and enjoying the freedom that singleness brings.

My lone consideration is God and the fulfillment of His will. I don’t grapple with expectations, demands, or considerations that might impede my work. There’s no distractions or restrictions on my movement and time. I can be fully absorbed and focused. When I’m ready to date I will.

VCR-2000 said:

I have empathized with people (especially younger ones at my age) who are single and haven't been in a relationship as it looks like they will be alone forever. I actually feel angry and frustrated at the world and it's lack of empathy as I type this.

Why does society treat people who are "involuntarily celibate" or romantically undesirable people so cruel?

Click to expand...

I'm not so sure they do. I spent a couple years alone to get myself in order and no one treated me any different. Literally, the difference in the number of people that have sex with me vs incels is 1 in 7 billion. After the honeymoon period, the amount of sex isn't amazingly different. Sex won't make you happier or a better person. Just improve yourself and stop worrying about sexual conquests.

VCR-2000 said:

I have empathized with people (especially younger ones at my age) who are single and haven't been in a relationship as it looks like they will be alone forever. I actually feel angry and frustrated at the world and it's lack of empathy as I type this.

Why does society treat people who are "involuntarily celibate" or romantically undesirable people so cruel?

Click to expand...

If you forgive and love them regardless then you can see that their cruelty is a mirror reflection of themselves. Just as you judging and perceiving it as cruelty is a mirror reflection of yourself.

Proverbs 12:10