God is too great to be contained in our experience, feelings or knowledge. God loves His children with love that goes beyond our understanding - and He won't take that love back because of some technicalities, or intrusive thoughts, or anything like that. We didn't do anything to deserve Jesus Christ, quite the opposite, but nevertheless He came for us because God willed it. He wills good, because He is good, and while we can treat love as a cheap transaction down here, for God love is His nature. God is not trapped inside some theological game where He cannot love His children because of (insert reason here). What His spirit does, so much of it is invisible to us, even if we easily reduce all of it to a feeling or lack of it.
This is a good opportunity for you to not trust yourself, and instead trust God, that He knows what He is doing, and Christ will not forsake you. It can be scary, but there's nothing to fear. Sometimes we have to go against our own experience, and to realize that God is far greater and better than we give Him credit for. When you practice faith that goes beyond feeling (or lack of it) and fear, a strong faith is being built that can handle all things, all kinds of emotional storms, all kinds of drought, everything. So believe like a child, believe that God is a good father who will see all of this to your benefit and His glory. Even if faith like that can feel fragile or weak at first, you'll get better at it. It's okay. You are not alone.
Look at all these people praying for you, they're praying for you according to His will, praying for strength and guidance to you. It's God's will for them to do this, to encourage you! He wants it. I will join them in prayer. No fear sister.
