How do I stop caring about women constantly?

Aabbie James · Jul 27, 2019

Jesus brought a way of happiness that had to do with the heart and nothing else.

J Daniel · Jul 27, 2019

gospels said:
Ask God to give you more and more love for Him because possibility of being content with alone and nothing else comes when he/she is in so much love with God that they so deeply enjoy His fellowship and concerned about serving God, so much so that they want to be free of any other concerns that might steal a piece of their soul and time. As you said it is not easy and only God can bring you to that place of stillness in Him.

But again, each has his own calling from God, so it differs from one to another, depending on God's purpose and His design and seasons set for you.

Sure of course

J Daniel · Jul 27, 2019

Aabbie James said:
Jesus brought a way of happiness that had to do with the heart and nothing else.

Jesus was a unique being. The supremacy of love he had for people was phenomenal.

Messerve · Jul 27, 2019

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said:
yes. yes. yes. yes. one of the biggest mistakes the institution has made is telling believers that they need to do x, y, or z before they can serve God and other people. all it takes is someone who knows God and what He's done for them. heck, you can even start here by giving us your testimony. would you like to share with us right now in this thread?

But... background checks. It's never so simple as it ought to be. :sigh:

Inside the church I mean.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) · Jul 27, 2019

Messerve said:
But... background checks. It's never so simple as it ought to be. Inside the church I mean.

and that's only because of law and insurance reasons. if leaders operated in true discernment and wisdom then there would be no cause for that either.

Messerve · Jul 27, 2019

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said:
and that's only because of law and insurance reasons. if leaders operated in true discernment and wisdom then there would be no cause for that either.

Yeah. I've always though that the need for background checks is really just a sign that something is seriously wrong in the Church. If there was true discipleship going on and believers actually acted like a family, there would be far fewer unknown felonies in people's pasts. And background checks do nothing to stop people without a record, so it's a false security anyway.

Instead of just leaving a person to work with children all alone, for example, have someone working with them for awhile to start out. And if that person has never been truly discipled, they should be paired up with someone in the Church.

OldWiseGuy · Jul 27, 2019

J Daniel said:
Hmmmmmmmmm - does that play on your mind a lot? Even at the age of 79?

I think about it from time to time.

J Daniel said:
Were they believers? Yes sweet is beautiful! But were they believers in Christ?

I don't know.

J Daniel said:
Why was you not ready to settle down? How old were you at the time of coming across the 2 sweetest girls you ever met

I wuz having waaay too much fun at the time.

J Daniel said:
Leave the door open even now?

I'm a very young 79.

blackribbon · Jul 27, 2019

The answer to your title question is to find something else to think about and consciously change your thought process away from women when you find it wandering back. Focus on learning something new or get a deeper knowledge in some area that you are already interested. Don't allow yourself too much down time.

philadelphos · Jul 27, 2019

Do you not think about your mother, sisters, aunts, daughters, nieces, and other female roles in society ?

"(Treat) the elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. ...Honour widows that are widows indeed." (1 Tim. 5)

bèlla · Jul 28, 2019

Messerve said:
Yeah. I've always though that the need for background checks is really just a sign that something is seriously wrong in the Church.

You may feel differently when you have children. I attended church a few times when my daughter was younger. I kept her with me or stayed in the classroom.

Irrespective of should’s, I’m responsible for her welfare and must give an account to her. If she’s harmed (because of my misplaced trust) that’s a problem. I didn’t put her in situations where it could occur.

I exercised similar cautions for myself. I’ve never attended small groups held in member homes or any event of that nature. I’ve been to public places with them. But home is intimate and I require more familiarity than casual encounters.

Romans 8 · Jul 28, 2019

THE W said:
of course,

the best men will have the pick of the best women and the best women will be taken by the best men. 10s role with 10s, etc, etc.

the best women aren't going to give males with no ambition, goals, or accomplishments the time of day. they won't even acknowledge their existence and will not put themselves around males like that. a man who cannot protect, provide, and lead is not a man.

The best men and the best women? hahaha!! In who's eyes? Your posts make you sound like a pick up artist, or better yet, one that's read too many books by pick up artists. Excuse me; ahem! puke! barf!

Do you base value solely on worldly "accomplishments"? Please, enlighten me on what constitutes the "best" people, aside from how they look.

Who has no ambition, goals, or accomplishments? What are great accomplishments in your mind? Come back to earth man.

S.O.J.I.A. · Jul 28, 2019

Romans 8 said:
The best men and the best women? hahaha!! In who's eyes? Your posts make you sound like a pick up artist, or better yet, one that's read too many books by pick up artists. Excuse me; ahem! puke! barf!

Do you base value solely on worldly "accomplishments"? Please, enlighten me on what constitutes the "best" people, aside from how they look.

Who has no ambition, goals, or accomplishments? What are great accomplishments in your mind? Come back to earth man.

usually the people who get offended by these things end up being exhibit A.

BTW, pick up artists reject the things I've said.

J Daniel · Jul 28, 2019

OldWiseGuy said:
time

Fair enough!

OldWiseGuy said:
know

Yeah cos that would be my thing - for all the sweetness and beauty they possess are they believers? Cos marry somebody that is doesn't have your belief system will mean CONFLICT or COMPROMISE and I don't want either!

OldWiseGuy said:
I wuz having waaay too much fun at the time.

Hmmmmm I see! Yeah - how were you at that time? I am done with fun now - fun got me nothing but savage pain.

OldWiseGuy said:
I'm a very young 79.

Salute to you, Sir!

Romans 8 · Jul 28, 2019

I think many people misunderstand what chasing women actually means. It's not running up to every girl on the street asking them for their number. It's more like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Interviewing people you meet to find out what makes them tick. See of there's chemistry. See if they're compatible.

Personally, I'm not interested in what society deems a 10. I want a Christian non-feminist woman, attractive, with traditional values and one that does NOT hold high value to "worldy" accomplishments. I don't wish for a corporate queen or running 5 businesses and training for the annual triathlon, dragon boat racing, or, name your time wasting event here.

Romans 8 · Jul 28, 2019

THE W said:
usually the people who get offended by these things end up being exhibit A.

BTW, pick up artists reject the things I've said.

Why don't you answer the question of what constitutes a 10 in your warped mind?

J Daniel · Jul 28, 2019

blackribbon said:
The answer to your title question is to find something else to think about and consciously change your thought process away from women when you find it wandering back. Focus on learning something new or get a deeper knowledge in some area that you are already interested. Don't allow yourself too much down time.

Errr tbh lol

I flip flop so much >.< but the lady at the church..................I really have (what you Americans call) a CRUSH for her

Right now I feel very happy and I am all smiling (lol)

Only once spoken to her - I feel like she is a valuable ruby and I want to approach her in the right respectful Godly manner.

But she is beautiful (in my eyes) and the fact she goes to the same church I do I am certain she share the same beliefs.

I don't have lust feelings for her whatsoever - it is more respectful feelings for her (which makes things even better!)

This feeling I have right now - I dunno if it is a spirit inside me trying to communicate I dunno!

But yeah...............

I flip flop more than a prime Ronaldinho elastico skill move

J Daniel · Jul 28, 2019

LaBèlla said:
You may feel differently when you have children. I attended church a few times when my daughter was younger. I kept her with me or stayed in the classroom.

Irrespective of should’s, I’m responsible for her welfare and must give an account to her. If she’s harmed (because of my misplaced trust) that’s a problem. I didn’t put her in situations where it could occur.

I exercised similar cautions for myself. I’ve never attended small groups held in member homes or any event of that nature. I’ve been to public places with them. But home is intimate and I require more familiarity than casual encounters.

YES BACKGROUND CHECKS ARE NEEDED - especially if that person is teaching Sunday school classes to children. Children are the most valuable thing we have on earth - once they have been interfered with in a certain way - it is done!

Anyway - remember I spoke about a woman at church that caught my eye.

Well I know I said last week I saw her but didn't care cos I was *better* I said that only to mentally take my mind of females.

Anyways - cut long story short - saw her today (very elegant in my eyes) and she was with her MOTHER!!!!!

It was so awesome! Her mother is probably the same age as my mother (actually probably older) and the woman in question I would say she is either 3 years older or 3 years younger (in that bracket).

I want to break the ice with her (but I want to do this WITH REAL RESPECT AND CLASS) cos this is not some filth that you'd find in a club this is a young woman that has Christ in her veins.

So, should I speak to the Bishop and ask about her in that way?

Or should I speak to her mother?

Cos I would love to invite her and her mother over for dinner one day with my relatives too (that would be awesome!)

Things done in a CLASSY MANNER!

I am really excited!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^

A feeling I have inside - I dunno!!!!

She has this thing about her that I really like!

An I am not lusting over her either! I have RESPECT for her! Not like some filthy thing you find on the floor outside a nightclub this is a woman that is comprised wonderfully (how I see it).

Anyway - yeah! :sorry:

OldWiseGuy · Jul 28, 2019

J Daniel said:
YES BACKGROUND CHECKS ARE NEEDED - especially if that person is teaching Sunday school classes to children. Children are the most valuable thing we have on earth - once they have been interfered with in a certain way - it is done!

Anyway - remember I spoke about a woman at church that caught my eye.

Well I know I said last week I saw her but didn't care cos I was *better* I said that only to mentally take my mind of females.

Anyways - cut long story short - saw her today (very elegant in my eyes) and she was with her MOTHER!!!!!

It was so awesome! Her mother is probably the same age as my mother (actually probably older) and the woman in question I would say she is either 3 years older or 3 years younger (in that bracket).

I want to break the ice with her (but I want to do this WITH REAL RESPECT AND CLASS) cos this is not some filth that you'd find in a club this is a young woman that has Christ in her veins.

So, should I speak to the Bishop and ask about her in that way?

Or should I speak to her mother?

Cos I would love to invite her and her mother over for dinner one day with my relatives too (that would be awesome!)

Things done in a CLASSY MANNER!

I am really excited!!!!!!!!!!!!

A feeling I have inside - I dunno!!!!

She has this thing about her that I really like!

An I am not lusting over her either! I have RESPECT for her! Not like some filthy thing you find on the floor outside a nightclub this is a woman that is comprised wonderfully (how I see it).

Anyway - yeah!

With all due respect, you sound like a kid in a candy store.

J Daniel · Jul 28, 2019

Romans 8 said:
It's more like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Yes it is about searching for sure - I think as well circumstances can bring 2 together as well.

Romans 8 said:
Interviewing people you meet to find out what makes them tick.

Yes asking them questions helps! Must ask questions! Cos the answers you get to your questions may make you think twice about having anything to do with them! Trust me!

Romans 8 said:
Personally, I'm not interested in what society deems a 10.

Society will make you think what is classed as a *good woman* especially when it comes to beauty standards - but YOU know what a good woman is when you come across one!

Ultimately everyone wants happiness - and it seems happiness is something you must pursuit..............

J Daniel · Jul 28, 2019

OldWiseGuy said:
With all due respect, you sound like a kid in a candy store.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Yeah the same candy store you used to have fun in once upon a time! ^_^

But - maybe the service from church has pumped me!

Before I was still thinking about the trauma of my previous 'relationship' and thinking of her at times - but, Sir, I DESERVE WAY BETTER!

Bring home a lady that my mother can be SO PROUD OF knowing she is a believer and a woman with great spirit! Long term thinking!

Anyway - look - I feel a good spirit inside me right now!

Will be having a long chat with God tonight! I need advice!

How do I stop caring about women constantly?

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