I sensed it a while ago. That’s why I posted to your threads. They were more akin to announcements than discussions. And sometimes talking helps to sort out the jumbled things in our head.
Have you ever been on or seen people riding a rollercoaster? Some hold on tight, like me! Others are more relaxed. They’re the one with their hands in the air. Enjoying the ride and laughing. Others like myself are ready to leave.
But everyone is safe. We’re all strapped in. One portion of the riders are resting in that safety and the others are panicking.
You won’t have peace of mind until you take your hands off. If you’ve given the matter to God you must trust His timing and knowledge.
You’re trying to micromanage yourself and drawing a correlation to readiness in marriage. Not desiring to share personal information is fine. I don’t share anything that isn’t fit for a stage. That’s my boundary.
Wholesome discourse doesn’t dishonor you or your future spouse. You’re in the company of believers in a similar season. There’s very little you’d say that would surprise anyone.
You’ve given this enough attention. It’s time to focus on yourself and building your confidence and deepening your relationship with the Lord. He doesn’t want you doubting yourself or feeling unrest.
It’s okay not to be ready for marriage while remaining open to the possibility as you improve. That’s what most of us are doing.