True - but somewhere in Ecclesiastics it does state that there is a time and place for everything - of course should never seek violence! In any format - but when you are dealing with evil you have to deal with it accordingly (that is my view on that might not be Biblical but look at how God ordered Israel to deal with the Philistines - DRIVE THEM OUT! With Israel being surrounded by enemies that want to kill them must react to that accordingly.
You have much to learn, young grasshopper... 
It's a common misunderstanding to use war and violent cases in the OT as precedence, as an excuse for
personal violence, deliberate wickedness, evil, and deliberate sin in general, but that would be an
abuse of Scripture. Your conscience should tell you that already.
Firstly, none of us were not born into a theocratic world... God is
not with us physically as he was with the Children of Israel, as a pillar of smoke, a pillar of fire, etc. We have no tabernacle, no ark of the covenant, no temple, etc, none of the
physical marks. But what we have is
SPIRITUAL.
In your quote from Exodus 23, God
himself made war, explicitly against idolaters.
"I will drive them out", he said.
"By little and little I will drive them out from before thee, until thou be increased, and inherit the land. And I will set thy bounds from the Red sea even unto the sea of the Philistines, and from the desert unto the river: for I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into your hand; and thou shalt drive them out before thee. Thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor with their gods.They shall not dwell in thy land, lest they make thee sin against me: for if thou serve their gods, it will surely be a snare unto thee."
Hence, the Lord goes
before us. He initiates, not us.
"I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight" (Isa. 45:2)
Every one of us was born into the
CHURCH AGE, an era where the Messiah, our king is executed by the world. Hence, his followers are to expect to meet the same fate, because, '
No man is greater than his master'.
In John 15 the Lord says:
"These things I command you, that ye love one another. If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also. But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me. If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloke for their sin. He that hateth me hateth my Father also."
Violence is used against enemies, right ?
"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you" (Mt. 5:44)
Thus,
violence is not an option for believers. I can't stress that enough (my self sympathising). If you act, you will be judged. If you act, you deny Christ, and wilfully transgress his law, and risk forfeiting your own salvation. -- Is it worth answering for at Judgement Day ?
'A man lives by sword dies by the sword' was the Lord's rebuke to Peter who was probably the most carnal and violent of the Disciples. He instinctively drew his sword (probably a big knife) and sliced the ear off the high priest's servant while the Lord was being arrested. Yet the Lord not only condemned Peter, but he
healed the man. -- If you have the power to
undo violence, go ahead and be violent. And may the Lord rebuke you.
I am just recovering from heart ache and a soul tie that I had no business forming to begin with - so the anger cos from that - an the fact I was ultimately rejected - however in long term it was probably for the best.
But this is about a break up gone bad, a bruised ego, remorse, regret, frustration, loneliness, sadness, and mourning the loss of a loved one. Feelings of rage and regret. And sounds like a toxic relationship to begin with, illegitimate, dishonourable, and shady, hence you aspirations for a future idealised marriage (which is fine, if your priorities are in order). -- If that's the case, I recommend saying your final goodbyes, kindly and maturely, talk about pros and cons, get feedback, and
breaking all contact, permanently. Then bury yourself in the Lord who will comfort you and heal you, as he's promised.
'Seek ye first the kingdom of the lord and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.'
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
