Marriage/Reconciliation Question

Tone2133

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I was married for 22 years to my high school sweetheart. We have 5 kids together. We recently went through a rough patch and got an ill-advised divorce. In a rebound/mid-life crisis/mentally unstable move, I got remarried. That marriage lasted 67 days before I filed for an annulment due to fraud and mental instability. I have since reconciled with my first wife and we are happier and moving forward. My rebound wife is evil, found out she was in a cult, is stealing my money, and purposely staling the divorce. My first love and I want to reconcile. We’ve gotten mixed Christian advice and we want to take the advice that she is my first wife and in God’s eyes we are still one. We want to publicly profess our love, be intimate, and move on…pastors in person and on other Christian chats have said to go on because God sees us as together and to reconcile asap. That’s what I believe, we are just getting 2nd, 3rd opinions. Thoughts?
 

morse86

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Here's a biblical response from a real qualified pastor:

This pastor has read cover to cover the bible more than 30 times, speaks several languages. You can prove what he says using the word of God in context (not just pulling verses out of context to mean anything).
 
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nanookadenord

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Here's a biblical response from a real qualified pastor:

This pastor has read cover to cover the bible more than 30 times, speaks several languages. You can prove what he says using the word of God in context (not just pulling verses out of context to mean anything).

Typical of most Baptist denominations and I stopped listening after the first 20 seconds. They tend to leave out verse 21 in Ephesians 5. We must submit one to another out of reverence for Christ.
 
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morse86

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Typical of most Baptist denominations and I stopped listening after the first 20 seconds. They tend to leave out verse 21 in Ephesians 5. We must submit one to another out of reverence for Christ.

Do you submit to the enemies of God? Not to your personal enemies, which the bible said to forgive. But to the actual enemies of God?

Do you kneel and worship man too out of reverence for Christ?!?!?!

Where do you draw the line? You ignore the first half of the bible. Christ quoted the first half.
 
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J Daniel

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You have 5 children with her - reconcile - clearly - to me - that second marriage was out of emotion.

I was married for 22 years to my high school sweetheart. We have 5 kids together. We recently went through a rough patch and got an ill-advised divorce. In a rebound/mid-life crisis/mentally unstable move, I got remarried. That marriage lasted 67 days before I filed for an annulment due to fraud and mental instability. I have since reconciled with my first wife and we are happier and moving forward. My rebound wife is evil, found out she was in a cult, is stealing my money, and purposely staling the divorce. My first love and I want to reconcile. We’ve gotten mixed Christian advice and we want to take the advice that she is my first wife and in God’s eyes we are still one. We want to publicly profess our love, be intimate, and move on…pastors in person and on other Christian chats have said to go on because God sees us as together and to reconcile asap. That’s what I believe, we are just getting 2nd, 3rd opinions. Thoughts?
 
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nanookadenord

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Do you submit to the enemies of God? Not to your personal enemies, which the bible said to forgive. But to the actual enemies of God?

Do you kneel and worship man too out of reverence for Christ?!?!?!

Where do you draw the line? You ignore the first half of the bible. Christ quoted the first half.

Did I say anything about my enemies? I thought we were talking about wives?

Nice red herrings though.
 
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topher694

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Pastoral advice: go for it, reconcile. Be sure to be completely open about your bad relationship and perhaps even both of you sit down with your pastor and talk through it (if you haven't already), just to make sure you are starting fresh with no baggage.
 
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ValleyGal

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You were divorced from your first wife, meaning you are no longer "one". That's what divorce is - to divide what was once one. You married someone else. You are divorcing your second wife. Do not reconcile in a marriage-like situation until you and your second wife are divorced. Then pursue a relationship with your first wife, if you choose.
 
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Aabbie James

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...marriage lasted 67 days before I filed for an annulment due to fraud and mental instability. I have since reconciled with my first wife and we are happier and moving forward. My rebound wife is evil, found out she was in a cult, is stealing my money, and purposely staling the divorce.
Stalling the divorce? Stealing your money? Sounds as though you need a good divorce lawyer...
 
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Aabbie James

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Stalling the divorce? Stealing your money? Sounds as though you need a good divorce lawyer...
By the way, I'm not a proponent for divorce, however you have landed yourself in quite a tangled web of problems involving several other lives. Only God can help you sort out your problems. I would be on my knees right seeking His guidance... May the steady Hand of God be with your children.
 
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Acts2:38

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We’ve gotten mixed Christian advice and we want to take the advice that she is my first wife and in God’s eyes we are still one.

That's because the first one is your wife in God's eye's.

Unless your divorce was under the circumstance of fornication by one or the other, your divorce was not legitimate in God's eye's. Scripture states that the only reason for an acceptable divorce is if one member does fornication (sexual immorality in some version).

Here's a little sample of scripture:
Luke 16:18
1 Corinthians 7
Matthew 19:8-9
Hebrews 13:4
 
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anna ~ grace

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I was married for 22 years to my high school sweetheart. We have 5 kids together. We recently went through a rough patch and got an ill-advised divorce. In a rebound/mid-life crisis/mentally unstable move, I got remarried. That marriage lasted 67 days before I filed for an annulment due to fraud and mental instability. I have since reconciled with my first wife and we are happier and moving forward. My rebound wife is evil, found out she was in a cult, is stealing my money, and purposely staling the divorce. My first love and I want to reconcile. We’ve gotten mixed Christian advice and we want to take the advice that she is my first wife and in God’s eyes we are still one. We want to publicly profess our love, be intimate, and move on…pastors in person and on other Christian chats have said to go on because God sees us as together and to reconcile asap. That’s what I believe, we are just getting 2nd, 3rd opinions. Thoughts?
Yes, I would reconcile with your first wife. I am thankful that you guys get to do this. Many do not. Please seek God's wisdom, guidance, protection, help, mercy, and leading as you and your wife begin to move forward.
 
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Reborn1977

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I was married for 22 years to my high school sweetheart. We have 5 kids together. We recently went through a rough patch and got an ill-advised divorce. In a rebound/mid-life crisis/mentally unstable move, I got remarried. That marriage lasted 67 days before I filed for an annulment due to fraud and mental instability. I have since reconciled with my first wife and we are happier and moving forward. My rebound wife is evil, found out she was in a cult, is stealing my money, and purposely staling the divorce. My first love and I want to reconcile. We’ve gotten mixed Christian advice and we want to take the advice that she is my first wife and in God’s eyes we are still one. We want to publicly profess our love, be intimate, and move on…pastors in person and on other Christian chats have said to go on because God sees us as together and to reconcile asap. That’s what I believe, we are just getting 2nd, 3rd opinions. Thoughts?


How do I say this kindly...because I truly mean no harm....

Biblically your WIFE is the first woman you married.
The second woman you married "legally" is putting you through the wringer.
Sadly this is the fruit of your sin, accept the discipline of God as quickly as possible, learn from it, get out of the situation and rededicate yourself to your TRUE WIFE.
 
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Endeavourer

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Here's a biblical response from a real qualified pastor:

This pastor has read cover to cover the bible more than 30 times, speaks several languages. You can prove what he says using the word of God in context (not just pulling verses out of context to mean anything).

Typical of most Baptist denominations and I stopped listening after the first 20 seconds. They tend to leave out verse 21 in Ephesians 5. We must submit one to another out of reverence for Christ.

I've seen some videos of this exceedingly proud man publicly deal with people who he thought might have said something bad about him right in the middle of a church service, calling them by name and kicking them out of church. No questions about whether his information was correct, no opportunity to pursue the truth, just WHAM!, shame and blame them, and kick them out, by name, asking everyone to join him in watching their walk of shame out of their bench and out the door.

I wouldn't take ANYTHING this man says as an accurate representation of the Bible's teaching. He shows no fruits of the Spirit and is brimming over with pride, arrogance and self worship.
 
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ValleyGal

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An interesting thing no one has brought up yet is the fact that divorcing one wife, marrying another, and then divorcing her to reconcile with the first wife, is actually an abomination to God (Deut 24). Granted it is the husband who married again here, but isn't the principle the same? And granted, we are not under law, but the fact it was originally written in law, makes me wonder if there is a good reason it was detestable to God.

I'm not one to talk, as my ex is currently working very hard to earn my trust back (and I am trying to trust), but neither of us went and married someone else. The fact is, though, that divorce means divorce; it means a severed relationship, and the two are no longer husband and wife - so the OP is no longer married to his first wife. If he was, Jesus would have told the woman at the well that her first husband was her real husband and that she should go back to him. He didn't tell her that for a reason.
 
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