Feeling hopeless about finding a husband and resisting temptation

Hey,

I just want to encourage you in that you did the right thing by ending it with your ex. So no need to look back, only look forward.

It's definately a struggle and many of us feel the same way you do. But you have to trust God in that he wants to give you the best things for your life. He knows you want a husband and children deeply and it's not overlooked by him. Do not feel you are unworthy, because if it was up to worthiness then none of us would recieve anything from God. A husband/wife is a gift of God's grace contrary to the world's view of earning everything. It's not a cliche to say God's timing is not ours, it's something that is seen countless times throughout scripture and something every Christian must learn and learn to trust. God tells us over and over to wait. Not just in this but in many things in life, we must wait for God and try our best not to despair or lose hope/trust. The Psalms are a good source to learn how God treats his children and shows promises and assurances from him. Psalm 27 is one God often brings me to, the last portion of it saying, again, "Wait".

This leads me into the last part. One of the biggest trials God gives many of us in my opinion is the trial of sexual purity prior to marriage. I too was not a lifelong Christian and was sexually active prior to coming to Christ, so I understand the struggle very well. God wants us to be disciplined children, he wants us to be strong, pure, and one of the ways he does this is through this specific trial. He is testing us. He is saying "Will you trust me that I will fulfill your needs and desires? Will you trust me that I have your good in mind here? Will you do it my way, and not your own?". In scripture we see when people do it their way and not God's, they are chastised for not obeying. Abraham and Sarah lost trust and patience and Abraham laid with his wife's servant Hagar instead of waiting for God to give him a child through Sarah, producing a rival nation to Israel. The Israelites in the desert lost trust and patience and they were not allowed to enter the promise land, but only their children were. The Israelites disobeyed God by setting a king over them like the nations around them instead of obeying the Law, and we see that they suffered and were disciplined time and time again for that decision. All these times things could have been different for God's children and they could have had a more blessed life and inherited great blessings fron God if they would have only waited and obeyed him.

So you see, when we disobey, God does not cast us out. No, we are eternally his children once we accept Jesus. But he does discipline us and we lose the blessings we could have had if we only had listened to God. We rob ourselves.
God will not give us something we cannot handle, commands that cannot be obeyed. He tells us to wait for marriage. And if we obey him, and endure with parience, he will bless us greatly - what these blessings look like is dependent for each individual.
Do not rob yourself of God's best for you. He loves you and knows you and hears you. Trust him.

You are still so young. It's only been a year since your last relationship. Don't worry about what other people are gaining in their lives right now. If you rush for a relationship then you might not end up with what you're seeking. If you approach relationship with the goal of marriage, you'll view everyone as either potential marriage or not. You can cause yourself to miss out on some great friendship and some healthy romance with Godly men you can practice good dating habits with and grow spiritually. Your goal should not be marriage. You goal should just be healthy relationships. If God has marriage in mind for you, then it will come about through this.

Don't borrow worry about a sin you may or may not commit later. Just focus on today.

If God wants you to have a husband, you will have one. Do not seek one out, focus on Christ, and seek Him out, He will bring you a good husband when it is perfect to occur seriously.. I dealt with the same issue, I committed fornication with a woman for four years, and one day I started getting strong convictions, she ended up leaving me because , well she was evil, but I started to follow Christ and wanted to marry and not have sex until then. I asked Jesus, and said I am going to marry this girl to not live in sin anymore, if you want me to not marry her, please get her out of my life. The next day, she never came back to the house, she completely left me with no reason and I did not see her again basically . Ever since then, I have been celibate, and I am actually very much enjoying it.
I do have temptation, sometimes it gets very difficult, but you have to keep pushing and every time you get a temptation, read the scriptures and pray, or listen to some praise. It will help, a lot of times we just do not want it too for some reason because people want to sin. Let God comfort you, just keep praying and waiting. It says you are blessed if you are single, because you focus on God instead of man or woman. It puts you in the world more when you have a loved one in the world even when they are a believer. Now you should also be extremely joyful that you are not in sin, and that this life is so short, remember God is our source of joy, not a man, not a woman.

Matthew 22:30 -- For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.]]
Marriage represents Christ and the church too, like woman submits to man, man submits to Christ. the church , which is the people of God, through Christ, are the bride, and Jesus the groom. Everything fits perfectly in Gods design its so awesome lol. But anyway, do not be sad, remember Jesus said: Be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world. What power that sentence has right? No matter how big your problems may seem or feel, it will never be greater than the love of Christ, there are no limits to God.

You do not need a husband just as I do not need a wife, but we will wait for God to give us one if that is what is best . Think this though please, I want to ask, does this bother you : there will not be marriage in heaven, so we will not have husbands and wives. Does the thought of that make you sad at all? It did me before, and I realized, that it was because I did not know or trust God enough, that He could satisfy me, that I felt that not having a wife, would somehow make me empty, but that is wrong. you cannot be empty if you have God, because emptiness itself comes only from the absence of God. Just as a lie is the absence of truth, God is truth, a lie is the absence of God. Stay strong, and do not worry, just wait on the Lord. The temptations can be rough, but just stay in prayer, stay in the scripture. All will be okayz

I want to be good enough.. .
But woman would only be interested in me if I had $ and the car and the job and the house.
I spit on myself there is no bone of bone no flesh of flesh for me...

Be strong. The Lord is probably testing your faith and patience. You’re not alone in this fight. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
God bless!

you gotta get the sexual sin stuff under control and believing marriage to be the solution to that is a bad idea.

using marriage to put out sexual sin is like using gasoline to put out a fire. sure, you'll get that gratification of sex within the marriage but it won't stop there as the issue is sexual addiction and not loneliness. there may also be some idolatry there.

been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I say this because I've been through it. still not married, but I've had these feelings at your age. you always want to go into marriage as a whole person who can enhance the life of your partner and not as a broken person looking to be fixed by your partner.

I am struggling too with that, except that I am older than 22, not woman so not looking to be a wife, nor I want to pop out kids...... ummmm.....
Anyway, I want to be a husband but the last two failed. One gave up after 13 years of not a perfect life. The other, well, she was abusive. Will I ever find a mate again? I do not think so. My picky choices are limited these days the older women get. For me, I got no problem withholding sex because, well, I never get to just easily meet girls and take them home. Guys like me (weird, picky, partially human) do not attract women at the supermarket that easily.
It is hard but I keep asking God to just guide me. I am not patient. I have a hard time trusting His timing because I been through so much pain, and torture, and empty freezers. But, I still ask Him every day just to guide me, and that does indeed help into the next day.

Interesting responses from u all. I think I have moved away from the flings and relationships that were way off balance between 2 people. I am learning patience and to trustin him. When im ready he will bring a man into my life. I have so much love to give and a happy life to share but im not prepared to do that with those who do not appreciate me or my way of life. I have been looked after all my life I often believed I had an angel as I was growing up as no adult took good care of me. So here I am in my 40s trusting in him and his path for me.

Faithandhope10 said:

I feel that I am called to be a wife and a mother, and I even feel frustrated that I ended my last relationship to follow Jesus and to one day find a Christ-centered relationship.... yet that seems no where in sight.

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Nothing I’ve done compares to the price Christ paid on my behalf.

I found the one I sought before I came to faith. His desire for me didn’t wane when I changed. It persisted for years and he respected my abstinence, allowed me to unburden my heart on numerous occasions, never pushed me away or demeaned my faith. If anyone deserved my hand it was he. He’s earned it.

But God comes first. He isn’t the author of confusion. There must be unity in heart, mind, and spirit. I cannot pledge myself to anyone who rejects Him. No matter my feelings.

I don't think I can make it to 30 years old, single, and not fall into sexual sin. I know God created marriage for this purpose, but since marriage seems no where in sight I also feel hopeless that I will fall into sin.

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Abstinence is easy for some and less so for others. I reverse engineered the notion and gamified it. Abstaining from sex has become a badge of honor. Withholding acts from the opposite sex is a prize.

The spoil is delivered to my spouse. I acknowledge the things I’ve done and all I refused to do. Giving him the best of me is important. Giving him things no other has experienced is priceless.

I can’t change the past. I make no excuses or apologies. I’ve always conducted myself respectfully. I was never treated as a good time girl or carried myself in that way.

If you want to be a man’s pearl of great price; you’ve gotta act like it. You can’t share your wares and expect his esteem. You need to hold yourself to a higher standard to receive the same.

LaBèlla said:

If you want to be a man’s pearl of great price; you’ve gotta act like it. You can’t share your wares and expect his esteem. You need to hold yourself to a higher standard to receive the same.

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That works both ways! The thing that we want in the opposite sex (we have to be that ourselves to start).