Advice about moving

Syd · Jul 18, 2019

Hi there,

I am a new Christian looking for some advice about what to do with regards to my living situation.

I recently came home from university and and I am struggling with some mental health issues. Namely, anxiety and depression from OCD.
My family members are non-Christians and since my OCD has focused on spiritual matters, it’s difficult to discuss things with them. I feel very stuck and isolated, like I can’t climb out of this particular OCD hole because of the topic of the OCD. As well, since I’ve been home I haven’t been acting like a Christian and I’ve fallen into a lot of old sin patterns and some old patterns have gotten worse. This is in part to weakness and exhaustion from the OCD and partly my own fault for not maintaing prayer and Bible reading.
I have some friends in my hometown that are Christians who I think would let me live with them for a bit if I asked, and I am just wondering if anyone thinks this is a bad (or good) idea: move out from my family for a bit to realign spiritually and regain some strength before heading back to home where there are a lot more temptations.
My OCD has been triggered in part from all the confusion I have as a new Christian and I thought living with my Christian friends might help resolve some uncertainty.
Please any help would be appreciated

Sketcher · Jul 18, 2019

I would say make it a point to hang out with those Christians more and regularly. I'm not seeing a dire need to move away from what you described.

Since your obsessions are over spiritual matters, you need to internalize what Scripture truly teaches so that you can have peace. The more fully you believe the Good News, the less of a reason you have to worry about something that it covers. It's one thing to believe Jesus loves you. It's another to believe in that so fully that you do not worry at all about whether or not he loves you. Fear often can get to the point where it's faith in something negative - for instance, believing that Jesus does not love you, in spite of Scripture telling you that he does. If you catch yourself there, ask yourself why do you believe something that is the opposite of what the life-giving Scriptures teach. This gives you time to adjust your thinking. Choose to believe the Good News instead of the lies that hold you back.

Syd · Jul 18, 2019

Syd · Jul 18, 2019

Sketcher said:
I would say make it a point to hang out with those Christians more and regularly. I'm not seeing a dire need to move away from what you described.

Since your obsessions are over spiritual matters, you need to internalize what Scripture truly teaches so that you can have peace. The more fully you believe the Good News, the less of a reason you have to worry about something that it covers. It's one thing to believe Jesus loves you. It's another to believe in that so fully that you do not worry at all about whether or not he loves you. Fear often can get to the point where it's faith in something negative - for instance, believing that Jesus does not love you, in spite of Scripture telling you that he does. If you catch yourself there, ask yourself why do you believe something that is the opposite of what the life-giving Scriptures teach. This gives you time to adjust your thinking. Choose to believe the Good News instead of the lies that hold you back.

Thank you very much, that helps.
I didn’t explain this other part which has been weighing on me also.
My family runs a business from our home which I am helping to run. The nature of the business means that I rarely have time to leave during the working day and sometimes miss Church/Youth Group or it’s difficult to fit in. My thoughts were that if I lived with my Christian friends I could guarantee seeing them at least in the evenings and mornings and still go into work for my family. Does that seem reasonable?

Sketcher · Jul 18, 2019

Syd said:
Thank you very much, that helps.
I didn’t explain this other part which has been weighing on me also.
My family runs a business from our home which I am helping to run. The nature of the business means that I rarely have time to leave during the working day and sometimes miss Church/Youth Group or it’s difficult to fit in. My thoughts were that if I lived with my Christian friends I could guarantee seeing them at least in the evenings and mornings and still go into work for my family. Does that seem reasonable?

No, because there's the travel time which takes away from your total time, and you need Christians around you when they can be available to you - getting out the door in the morning, and winding down to go to bed aren't necessarily the best times for that for all believers. Furthermore, you need to make arrangements to live with someone else (that takes multiple weeks) and by the time you're moved in, it's a few short weeks until fall semester begins again. I don't really see the point.

Mel333 · Jul 18, 2019

Syd said:
Hi there,

I am a new Christian looking for some advice about what to do with regards to my living situation.

I recently came home from university and and I am struggling with some mental health issues. Namely, anxiety and depression from OCD.
My family members are non-Christians and since my OCD has focused on spiritual matters, it’s difficult to discuss things with them. I feel very stuck and isolated, like I can’t climb out of this particular OCD hole because of the topic of the OCD. As well, since I’ve been home I haven’t been acting like a Christian and I’ve fallen into a lot of old sin patterns and some old patterns have gotten worse. This is in part to weakness and exhaustion from the OCD and partly my own fault for not maintaing prayer and Bible reading.
I have some friends in my hometown that are Christians who I think would let me live with them for a bit if I asked, and I am just wondering if anyone thinks this is a bad (or good) idea: move out from my family for a bit to realign spiritually and regain some strength before heading back to home where there are a lot more temptations.
My OCD has been triggered in part from all the confusion I have as a new Christian and I thought living with my Christian friends might help resolve some uncertainty.
Please any help would be appreciated

Sounds like a great idea. Moving out with Christian friends

.

Syd · Jul 18, 2019

Sketcher said:
No, because there's the travel time which takes away from your total time, and you need Christians around you when they can be available to you - getting out the door in the morning, and winding down to go to bed aren't necessarily the best times for that for all believers. Furthermore, you need to make arrangements to live with someone else (that takes multiple weeks) and by the time you're moved in, it's a few short weeks until fall semester begins again. I don't really see the point.

Thank you, that gives some clarity. Sometimes by brain can run with ideas that don’t really make sense, saying them (or writing them helps).

Peter J Barban · Jul 18, 2019

Before you move, make sure that your friends understand what you are going through and what help you are looking for.

Also, make sure you understand what they expect in a roommate. What are your responsibilities? How long do they think you should stay?

Also, try to avoid hurting your family relationships because a good family will be there for you when everyone else turns away.

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