There are a lot of positives here brother, you are working and earning a wage, okay so it's not the best job in the world or the best paid but it's better than being in jail and causing chaos to other people's lives. You seem really down in life and whilst I don't know much about your life have you thought of seeing a doctor, no harm in getting a check up. Trust me speaking as someone recovering from depression and anxiety I can guarantee for a while my life was worse than yours to the point I was in hospital. If you want to know how bad it was check my blog out, but I came back from the bottom with help and I'm not going to give up on you.
You are right, of course. And I have had both worse jobs and better jobs.
There is nothing wrong with a £23,700 a year job. And there is nothing wrong with living a quiet life without bothering anyone.
And I suppose I should be happy to live in such a way.
But then I ask myself... why bother? For what?
When you know tomorrow will be just like today and all the yesterdays for the past 20 years.... why am I doing this? Nothing good will happen tomorrow. At least I have no reason to believe something good will happen, since nothing good happened in the past 20 years.
So then, what's the point? Is it enough, just to live out my life, day after day, until finally I grow old and die?
Because that's all that has happened thus far. I'm 20 years older than I was when I got out of high school, and all I have done is work, and pay bills, and work, and pay bills.
So I keep working, and keep paying bills, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, and decade after decade... then I die.
Working a crap job is not a problem, if you have hope for something better in the future. I have no hope of that.
People say, just have faith in G-d. Well I do. Now what?
Get up. Go to work. Come home. Go to bed. Wait for life to end.