How to handle quarrel with spouse?

All4Christ · Nov 28, 2016

Jesus_is_Saint said:
I talked to her nicely many times, until I rebuked her, and she remained lazy.
I told her that God dislikes laziness and dirtiness.
But she won't listen to me.

What are you working to improve in yourself? Are you loving her like Christ loves the church?

Seriously though, telling a spouse that God dislikes laziness and dirtiness is not a way to make someone feel loved or to become motivated more.

ETA: @YouAreAwesome's suggestion below is a much more effective way to approach the subject.

YouAreAwesome · Nov 28, 2016

Jesus_is_Saint said:
I talked to her nicely many times, until I rebuked her, and she remained lazy.
I told her that God dislikes laziness and dirtiness.
But she won't listen to me.

When you talk to her, do you ask her questions and listen?

Or do you talk and she listens?

You should ask her: How can we find a way to solve this problem I have? I would like the house clean but I don't know how to achieve it. Can we find a way where we both do an equal amount of work? What jobs would you like to do? What jobs would you rather I do?

Jesus_is_Saint · Dec 3, 2016

An adult should not be taught to do house chore.
Unless she/he was not taught by parents.

Paidiske · Dec 3, 2016

*Shrug*

Many weren't taught, though.

For example, I was taught a lot, but I never learned to use a washing machine until I moved out of home. There were some... laundry issues... as I figured out what I could and couldn't do with it.

So have you talked to your wife about all of this, in a spirit of teamwork, yet?

All4Christ · Dec 3, 2016

Jesus_is_Saint said:
An adult should not be taught to do house chore.
Unless she/he was not taught by parents.

It concerns me that you won't answer the questions we asked, especially about the suggestion @YouAreAwesome made and my question about what you are working on to improve in yourself . It seems like you just want to vent and don't want to try suggestions on how to improve your marriage.

Kiko777 · Jul 15, 2019

You can watch john piper's how should a quarrelsome wife

Also, can you open your thread on is masturbation, if it was you who started the thread because I have something to say

Andrew77 · Jul 15, 2019

Jesus_is_Saint said:
After marriage, I started to have a lot of conflicts with my spouse,
we have different interests, different attitude about money,
different view on cleanliness of house (I am very particular about cleanliness),
until I wonder why I married this woman?
I always say to myself: she is not the God-chosen woman for me, it must be wrong to marry her.
We always have quarrel over small matter.
Should we divorce?

No. You need to learn to live with your wife. You choose to marry. You promised G-d that you will spend your life with her. So learn to spend your life with her. This is your duty before G-d.

bèlla · Jul 16, 2019

Jesus_is_Saint said:
After marriage, I started to have a lot of conflicts with my spouse, we have different interests, different attitude about money, different view on cleanliness of house (I am very particular about cleanliness),
until I wonder why I married this woman?
I always say to myself: she is not the God-chosen woman for me, it must be wrong to marry her.
We always have quarrel over small matter.
Should we divorce?

Why did she wait until you married? Did her behavior change? Strife-driven personalities are often present early on. But they may accuse others of mistreatment which validates the argument. After a while you notice the pattern and realize they’re the cause.

Did you observe the same while getting acquainted?

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How to handle quarrel with spouse?

All4Christ

✙ The Handmaid of God Laura ✙

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YouAreAwesome

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Jesus_is_Saint

Well-Known Member

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Paidiske

Clara bonam audax

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All4Christ

✙ The Handmaid of God Laura ✙

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Kiko777

Active Member

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Andrew77

The walking accident

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bèlla

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