- Jun 26, 2015
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My Miraculous Visitation
I was saved by an actual real miracle on Christmas Eve, 1970. Having been a inappropriate content addict since I was a young teen, and then having been saved through that miracle when I was 21, I had high hopes that my addiction would be a thing of the past. I was wrong. For the next 3 and a half decades, I was the poster boy for Romans 7. Sin/repent/sin again. Rinse and repeat, ad naiseum. LOL.
Oh, I did not go down swinging. I tried everything I knew to finally walk as I knew deep inside a God wanted me to. I prayed, I fasted, I memorized large portions of the Word. I became a home pastor for my large Charismatic church. But in the end, my addiction had left me defeated, tired, hopeless, angry, judgmental, legalistic, disillusioned and tired of life.
Friends would tell me that is why we need mercy, grace and forgiveness. Rhey would assure that God would change me eventually. But... 38 years and no progress? I couldn't buy it. And no matter how many told me that truly walking in victory over the world, the flesh and the devil was not really possible because we are only human, their words simply did not line up with what I read throughout the New Testament. Holiness is the standard, and even though it condemned me, I simply could not ever bring myself to lower the standard or to believe that simply time passing was the key to our overcoming our flesh and its inevitable antics.
One night, I reached my end. I literally knew nothing else to try, to hope for, that would lead me to the ‘free indeed’ I saw so clearly in His Word. In tears and desperation, I cried out to God, not knowing what else to do. I had no more answers to try, no more resolutions to make, no more leaves to turn over. And then it happened.
God appeared to me. Yes, visibly. Now, before any asks what He looked like, let me say this. I haven’t a clue. His golden light, brighter than the sun, put me on my face. I dared not look up. And then He spoke. Yes, audibly.
He said ‘My son, for this I am well pleased with you.’
Confused? LOL. Yeah, me too. For 38 years, I had tried desperately to feel like God loved me and was pleased with me. And no matter what Paul told us in Romans 8 that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, it was all I ever felt. If I gave, even out of my lack, I should have given more. If I read ten chapters in the Word, it should have been twenty. Even mowing my own lawn made me feel like I was taking care of my kingdom, not His. Can you say ‘miserable’? That was me.
And now, at my lowest point of failure, now He comes and tells me He was pleased with me? It made no sense, none, until the next words He spoke....
“I knew all along that you could not walk the walk I had for you, but you did not yet know it.”
Did you catch that key word yet? I finally knew it. I had finally, after almost four decades of trying to die to my sin-loving self, been brought to the point I had NO confidence in the flesh that was my prison.
And the Lord continued. He asked me a question....
“In all your trying to walk pleasing to me, did you ever do as I instructed you to do through my servant Paul?”
My mind reeled, but in an instant, He simply took my blinders off and let me see what He was talking about. The key to my cell door swinging open was found in Romans 6. And as I opened my Bible, I sat dumbfounded at the secret, the key to my being able to walk as an overcomer that was hiding from me in plain sight.
Here Paul tells us that there are two truths we must know.
1) When Christ died, so DID we.
2) When Christ rose from the dead, so DID we.
I can hear them now. “That’s it?? That’s the secret?” LOL. Not yet. What did Paul say next? What was the response He asked of us to these two truths that were etched in the stone foundations of Heaven?
"Likewise (in the same way) reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin:
but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
Romans 6:10-13
I pray your ears are open. And I assure you, if you truly hear this truth and DO IT, your walk will never be the same.... ever.
You see, I had memorized these verses. But..... never, not once..... had I actually done what those words from the Lord had been telling me. I had never reckoned that those two truths were MY truths. I had never appropriated the victory He had bought for us as MY victory.
So what did I do? Through my tears, my awe, my joy, my confusion, my fear, I spoke. Out loud. LOUDLY out loud. I reckoned that the old me was dead. Not needing to die. No, no. DEAD. I reckoned that I was a brand new creature that sin had no authority over. I died to sin once...ONCE.... just as God had instructed us. And praise God, I yielded myself to God, but this time I did it differently.
Previously, I would try to give myself to God, but as the mess I knew I was. But that is not what God asked for, was it? He said that we are to, now, because of what Christ had accomplished for us, yield ourselves to God in faith, faith that what He said was true was true for US, right now, this very day. We are to yield ourselves as those who are alive from the dead. Whoa.
And when I did, something deep inside began bubbling up inside me. God caused my hard, dry but viable seed of faith that had been given to me at my salvation to actually begin sprouting. I had finally held up my shield of faith and praise God, what I found was that satan’s arrows truly were extinguished. I tasted freedom that night for the first time, and it was.... and is.... glorious.
Look. I pray you do not misunderstand. This is not sinless perfectionism of which I constantly share. It is truly the beginning of the sanctification process, not the end. I have far, far to go in my walk with the Lord. I pray the lack and weaknesses others still see in me do not hinder their belief that God can set them free as well. But I would be remiss if I did not also tell you that the changes that He has brought about in me stagger even my imagination as to what God has done and continues to do by dwelling IN us instead of just being with us.
I have much more to share concerning the last twelve years. I pray God continues to give me opportunity to share with you what He continues to show me and to teach me. Thank you all for bearing with this long testimony.
Know this. Your weakness, your addiction to sin, your knowing how unloving you truly are.... it is a gift from God. I can hear you laughing, lol. Some gift, huh? But a I am quite serious.
Who is it that can believe such amazing things? Is it not to him who has NO strength? To him who has come to the point that they have NO confidence in the flesh? What God has shown me He is now showing you. This walk of victory over the world and its endless pull, the flesh and its lusts and self-love, and the devil and his endless temptations and accusations, it is your birthright. Your weakness makes you perfectly fit to receive it. That, dear friend, is the upside-downness of the kingdom of God at its glorious best.
Can our God be THAT good? Oh, yes dear brothers and sisters! Can He truly set us free indeed, despite our sinfulness? There is no doubt about it. Our God’s goodness is stronger than our badness. And should this not be self evident, seeing that He Himself told us to overcome evil with good? Because that is how HE does it, IN US! Glory!
God is about to do a work in our day that if our eyes did not see it, we would never believe it. He is going to separate the wheat from the tares, and prepare His own for a soon-coming wedding. And guys, we are going to look GLORIOUS!
Blessings to all.
Gideon
I was saved by an actual real miracle on Christmas Eve, 1970. Having been a inappropriate content addict since I was a young teen, and then having been saved through that miracle when I was 21, I had high hopes that my addiction would be a thing of the past. I was wrong. For the next 3 and a half decades, I was the poster boy for Romans 7. Sin/repent/sin again. Rinse and repeat, ad naiseum. LOL.
Oh, I did not go down swinging. I tried everything I knew to finally walk as I knew deep inside a God wanted me to. I prayed, I fasted, I memorized large portions of the Word. I became a home pastor for my large Charismatic church. But in the end, my addiction had left me defeated, tired, hopeless, angry, judgmental, legalistic, disillusioned and tired of life.
Friends would tell me that is why we need mercy, grace and forgiveness. Rhey would assure that God would change me eventually. But... 38 years and no progress? I couldn't buy it. And no matter how many told me that truly walking in victory over the world, the flesh and the devil was not really possible because we are only human, their words simply did not line up with what I read throughout the New Testament. Holiness is the standard, and even though it condemned me, I simply could not ever bring myself to lower the standard or to believe that simply time passing was the key to our overcoming our flesh and its inevitable antics.
One night, I reached my end. I literally knew nothing else to try, to hope for, that would lead me to the ‘free indeed’ I saw so clearly in His Word. In tears and desperation, I cried out to God, not knowing what else to do. I had no more answers to try, no more resolutions to make, no more leaves to turn over. And then it happened.
God appeared to me. Yes, visibly. Now, before any asks what He looked like, let me say this. I haven’t a clue. His golden light, brighter than the sun, put me on my face. I dared not look up. And then He spoke. Yes, audibly.
He said ‘My son, for this I am well pleased with you.’
Confused? LOL. Yeah, me too. For 38 years, I had tried desperately to feel like God loved me and was pleased with me. And no matter what Paul told us in Romans 8 that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, it was all I ever felt. If I gave, even out of my lack, I should have given more. If I read ten chapters in the Word, it should have been twenty. Even mowing my own lawn made me feel like I was taking care of my kingdom, not His. Can you say ‘miserable’? That was me.
And now, at my lowest point of failure, now He comes and tells me He was pleased with me? It made no sense, none, until the next words He spoke....
“I knew all along that you could not walk the walk I had for you, but you did not yet know it.”
Did you catch that key word yet? I finally knew it. I had finally, after almost four decades of trying to die to my sin-loving self, been brought to the point I had NO confidence in the flesh that was my prison.
And the Lord continued. He asked me a question....
“In all your trying to walk pleasing to me, did you ever do as I instructed you to do through my servant Paul?”
My mind reeled, but in an instant, He simply took my blinders off and let me see what He was talking about. The key to my cell door swinging open was found in Romans 6. And as I opened my Bible, I sat dumbfounded at the secret, the key to my being able to walk as an overcomer that was hiding from me in plain sight.
Here Paul tells us that there are two truths we must know.
1) When Christ died, so DID we.
2) When Christ rose from the dead, so DID we.
I can hear them now. “That’s it?? That’s the secret?” LOL. Not yet. What did Paul say next? What was the response He asked of us to these two truths that were etched in the stone foundations of Heaven?
"Likewise (in the same way) reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin:
but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
Romans 6:10-13
I pray your ears are open. And I assure you, if you truly hear this truth and DO IT, your walk will never be the same.... ever.
You see, I had memorized these verses. But..... never, not once..... had I actually done what those words from the Lord had been telling me. I had never reckoned that those two truths were MY truths. I had never appropriated the victory He had bought for us as MY victory.
So what did I do? Through my tears, my awe, my joy, my confusion, my fear, I spoke. Out loud. LOUDLY out loud. I reckoned that the old me was dead. Not needing to die. No, no. DEAD. I reckoned that I was a brand new creature that sin had no authority over. I died to sin once...ONCE.... just as God had instructed us. And praise God, I yielded myself to God, but this time I did it differently.
Previously, I would try to give myself to God, but as the mess I knew I was. But that is not what God asked for, was it? He said that we are to, now, because of what Christ had accomplished for us, yield ourselves to God in faith, faith that what He said was true was true for US, right now, this very day. We are to yield ourselves as those who are alive from the dead. Whoa.
And when I did, something deep inside began bubbling up inside me. God caused my hard, dry but viable seed of faith that had been given to me at my salvation to actually begin sprouting. I had finally held up my shield of faith and praise God, what I found was that satan’s arrows truly were extinguished. I tasted freedom that night for the first time, and it was.... and is.... glorious.
Look. I pray you do not misunderstand. This is not sinless perfectionism of which I constantly share. It is truly the beginning of the sanctification process, not the end. I have far, far to go in my walk with the Lord. I pray the lack and weaknesses others still see in me do not hinder their belief that God can set them free as well. But I would be remiss if I did not also tell you that the changes that He has brought about in me stagger even my imagination as to what God has done and continues to do by dwelling IN us instead of just being with us.
I have much more to share concerning the last twelve years. I pray God continues to give me opportunity to share with you what He continues to show me and to teach me. Thank you all for bearing with this long testimony.
Know this. Your weakness, your addiction to sin, your knowing how unloving you truly are.... it is a gift from God. I can hear you laughing, lol. Some gift, huh? But a I am quite serious.
Who is it that can believe such amazing things? Is it not to him who has NO strength? To him who has come to the point that they have NO confidence in the flesh? What God has shown me He is now showing you. This walk of victory over the world and its endless pull, the flesh and its lusts and self-love, and the devil and his endless temptations and accusations, it is your birthright. Your weakness makes you perfectly fit to receive it. That, dear friend, is the upside-downness of the kingdom of God at its glorious best.
Can our God be THAT good? Oh, yes dear brothers and sisters! Can He truly set us free indeed, despite our sinfulness? There is no doubt about it. Our God’s goodness is stronger than our badness. And should this not be self evident, seeing that He Himself told us to overcome evil with good? Because that is how HE does it, IN US! Glory!
God is about to do a work in our day that if our eyes did not see it, we would never believe it. He is going to separate the wheat from the tares, and prepare His own for a soon-coming wedding. And guys, we are going to look GLORIOUS!
Blessings to all.
Gideon