The Performance Trap...? How do we get out of it...?

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
23,277
5,237
45
Oregon
✟952,787.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
The Performance Trap...? How do we get out of it...?

We go through a cycle, a cycle that repeats itself over and over and over again, and again and again...

How do we break it...?

We feel guilty about sin, and then we try to "perform" and "do better" but we fail, and we never can even reach the mark of perfection, we will always miss it, and then we go back to feeling guilty (again) and like God maybe doesn't love us, (again) ect... Then we try to perform and do better (again), ect... And, ect, ect, ect., so on and so forth..

It's a trap, a performance trap...

So, what do we do...? Are we not supposed to feel guilty about sin or about not performing well or right "at all" or not...? Or not...?

How do we resolve this issue...? How do we get out of the trap...?

Were not supposed to be in it anymore, under the NC, but or so, how to we truly get out of it...?

How do we get "free" or become "free" (from this, ect)...?

AND, How do we get out of it, "without sinning or doing it wrong" or the wrong way also...?

God Bless!
 

Lost4words

Jesus I Trust In You
Supporter
May 19, 2018
10,946
11,698
Neath
✟1,002,560.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Single
Sin, confession. Sin, confession. Sin, confession.

Thats me! :(

A never ending circle. However hard i try, i cant escape. I know, that its only through the grace of God, that i can progress to being pure and holy.
 
Upvote 0

Presbyterian Continuist

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Mar 28, 2005
21,810
10,792
76
Christchurch New Zealand
Visit site
✟827,333.00
Country
New Zealand
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
The Performance Trap...? How do we get out of it...?

We go through a cycle, a cycle that repeats itself over and over and over again, and again and again...

How do we break it...?

We feel guilty about sin, and then we try to "perform" and "do better" but we fail, and we never can even reach the mark of perfection, we will always miss it, and then we go back to feeling guilty (again) and like God maybe doesn't love us, (again) ect... Then we try to perform and do better (again), ect... And, ect, ect, ect., so on and so forth..

It's a trap, a performance trap...

So, what do we do...? Are we not supposed to feel guilty about sin or about not performing well or right "at all" or not...? Or not...?

How do we resolve this issue...? How do we get out of the trap...?

Were not supposed to be in it anymore, under the NC, but or so, how to we truly get out of it...?

How do we get "free" or become "free" (from this, ect)...?

AND, How do we get out of it, "without sinning or doing it wrong" or the wrong way also...?

God Bless!
Having a true heart of grace before God is not what you do, but who you are. The performance trap is merely a gospel of works, where, having come to Christ through grace and faith, you are trying to perfect yourself through works. The best thing to do is to stop trying and just relax and be yourself. Also, stop trying to be the good Christian in front of others in order to please them with the appearance of being a "good guy". Even while you were a vile sinner, Jesus loved you and gave Himself for you. You won't get into heaven through the good things you have done, but because Jesus died for you on the cross.

The best thing you can do is to get before God and tell Him straight that you are going to give up trying to be a good Christian, and you are going to just relax and be yourself, and trust Him to change what He wants to change in you. You are already righteous through the righteousness of Christ, and therefore fully accepted by God. There is nothing more you can do to be accepted. The fact you feel bad about your failures and shortcomings is a good thing, because it drives you to the throne of grace to find mercy and help in your time of need.
 
Upvote 0

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
23,277
5,237
45
Oregon
✟952,787.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
Having a true heart of grace before God is not what you do, but who you are. The performance trap is merely a gospel of works, where, having come to Christ through grace and faith, you are trying to perfect yourself through works. The best thing to do is to stop trying and just relax and be yourself. Also, stop trying to be the good Christian in front of others in order to please them with the appearance of being a "good guy". Even while you were a vile sinner, Jesus loved you and gave Himself for you. You won't get into heaven through the good things you have done, but because Jesus died for you on the cross.

The best thing you can do is to get before God and tell Him straight that you are going to give up trying to be a good Christian, and you are going to just relax and be yourself, and trust Him to change what He wants to change in you. You are already righteous through the righteousness of Christ, and therefore fully accepted by God. There is nothing more you can do to be accepted. The fact you feel bad about your failures and shortcomings is a good thing, because it drives you to the throne of grace to find mercy and help in your time of need.
I know what you trying to do, and thanks Oscarr, but...?

Should we stop feeling bad about our failures and shortcomings, give up on trying to improve...?

Get comfortable in our sin or sins, or with our sins, ect...?

Or is there just a better way to do it, or go about it, or what...?

If so, what is that way...?

God Bless!
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Presbyterian Continuist

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Mar 28, 2005
21,810
10,792
76
Christchurch New Zealand
Visit site
✟827,333.00
Country
New Zealand
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
Thanks Oscarr, but...?

Should we stop feeling bad about our failures and shortcomings, give up on trying to improve...?

Get comfortable in our sin or sins...?

God Bless!
If you stopped feeling bad about your failures and shortcomings, you would become proud. A good quote keeps things into perspective for me:
"I'm just a poor sinner, and nothing at all.
But Jesus Christ is my all in all."

Yes, there are things that we need to work at in our lives, but not to try and please God, but to live a holy life in gratitude for what He has done for us on the cross and His wonderful grace in getting us to the point where we were able to receive Him as Saviour. I sort out what I can sort out, and pray and talk with God about the things I can't. I often say to God, "I struck out this time, but I will try and do better next time."

I went through a time when I struggled over an issue in my life where I needed constant forgiveness from the Lord, and I asked Him when He was going to run out of forgiveness and just give me up as a bad job. He reminded me of what He said to Peter - to forgive his brother seventy times seven- which is a symbol of an infinite amount. Then He said, "Do you think I am greater and more forgiving than that? My forgiveness is a well that will never run dry!"
 
Upvote 0

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
23,277
5,237
45
Oregon
✟952,787.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
If you stopped feeling bad about your failures and shortcomings, you would become proud. A good quote keeps things into perspective for me:
"I'm just a poor sinner, and nothing at all.
But Jesus Christ is my all in all."

Yes, there are things that we need to work at in our lives, but not to try and please God, but to live a holy life in gratitude for what He has done for us on the cross and His wonderful grace in getting us to the point where we were able to receive Him as Saviour. I sort out what I can sort out, and pray and talk with God about the things I can't. I often say to God, "I struck out this time, but I will try and do better next time."

I went through a time when I struggled over an issue in my life where I needed constant forgiveness from the Lord, and I asked Him when He was going to run out of forgiveness and just give me up as a bad job. He reminded me of what He said to Peter - to forgive his brother seventy times seven- which is a symbol of an infinite amount. Then He said, "Do you think I am greater and more forgiving than that? My forgiveness is a well that will never run dry!"
It's a delicate balance isn't it...?

To not be taking advantage, or even worse, "abusing Grace", and...? well...? "not abusing it" (Grace), I guess you could say...?

Knowing that we'll never be perfect, but not giving up completely or entirely, but not getting in works based Salvation or Theology, ect...

Thanks Oscarr,

(Oh, and I edited my post prior to this one that you quoted a little bit before your reply to it showed up)...

God Bless!
 
Upvote 0

Presbyterian Continuist

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Mar 28, 2005
21,810
10,792
76
Christchurch New Zealand
Visit site
✟827,333.00
Country
New Zealand
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
It's a delicate balance isn't it...?

To not be taking advantage, or even worse, "abusing Grace", and...? well...? "not abusing it" (Grace), I guess you could say...?

Knowing that we'll never be perfect, but not giving up completely or entirely, but not getting in works based Salvation or Theology, ect...

Thanks Oscarr,

(Oh, and I edited my post prior to this one that you quoted a little bit before your reply to it showed up)...

God Bless!
I don't think that we will actually give up wanting to be holy. The desire is the Holy Spirit within us. We strive for perfection because we love Jesus and want to be our best for Him, and feel like the brown stuff when we can't be who we want to be. This keeps us humble before him. God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Once we receive Christ, our salvation is eternally secured. I don't care what the Arminians say - who say that we can be saved today and lost tomorrow when we strike out in some way. We rest in Christ concerning our salvation, and if we have a true heart before God, then we have true grace and are not hypocritical in our Christian profession.

But sanctification is a developmental process and the Holy Spirit works in us to conform us to the image of Christ, line by line, precept by precept, day by day, until we see him as perfect saints in glory. There is much virtue in the repeated prayer, "Lord, forgive me, a sinner". God just loves to bless people with that humble attitude. It is not a false humility but an honest and sincere view and appreciation of what we are really at with God.

The trouble is that some on CF think in extremes. They think that we have to either struggle and belt our heads against a brick wall trying to be perfect, or else we are seen as totally giving up and going back into uncontrolled sin. This is why man uninformed folk here are brain-washed into trying to maintain their salvation by works and when they cannot, they feel like giving up on Jesus altogether. These are folk who labour and are heavy-laden with the burden of their sins, and Jesus says to these people: "Come to me, you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." Trying to get along with the great burden of sin on our backs is not the rest that Jesus promises us. The rest of Jesus is that we rest from all our works (Hebrews 4:10).
 
Upvote 0

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
23,277
5,237
45
Oregon
✟952,787.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
I don't think that we will actually give up wanting to be holy. The desire is the Holy Spirit within us. We strive for perfection because we love Jesus and want to be our best for Him, and feel like the brown stuff when we can't be who we want to be. This keeps us humble before him. God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Once we receive Christ, our salvation is eternally secured. I don't care what the Arminians say - who say that we can be saved today and lost tomorrow when we strike out in some way. We rest in Christ concerning our salvation, and if we have a true heart before God, then we have true grace and are not hypocritical in our Christian profession.

But sanctification is a developmental process and the Holy Spirit works in us to conform us to the image of Christ, line by line, precept by precept, day by day, until we see him as perfect saints in glory. There is much virtue in the repeated prayer, "Lord, forgive me, a sinner". God just loves to bless people with that humble attitude. It is not a false humility but an honest and sincere view and appreciation of what we are really at with God.

The trouble is that some on CF think in extremes. They think that we have to either struggle and belt our heads against a brick wall trying to be perfect, or else we are seen as totally giving up and going back into uncontrolled sin. This is why man uninformed folk here are brain-washed into trying to maintain their salvation by works and when they cannot, they feel like giving up on Jesus altogether. These are folk who labour and are heavy-laden with the burden of their sins, and Jesus says to these people: "Come to me, you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." Trying to get along with the great burden of sin on our backs is not the rest that Jesus promises us. The rest of Jesus is that we rest from all our works (Hebrews 4:10).
Thanks Oscarr,

God Bless!
 
  • Friendly
Reactions: Grip Docility
Upvote 0

Gregory Thompson

Change is inevitable, feel free to spare some.
Supporter
Dec 20, 2009
28,362
7,742
Canada
✟721,286.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Married
The Performance Trap...? How do we get out of it...?

We go through a cycle, a cycle that repeats itself over and over and over again, and again and again...

How do we break it...?

We feel guilty about sin, and then we try to "perform" and "do better" but we fail, and we never can even reach the mark of perfection, we will always miss it, and then we go back to feeling guilty (again) and like God maybe doesn't love us, (again) ect... Then we try to perform and do better (again), ect... And, ect, ect, ect., so on and so forth..

It's a trap, a performance trap...

So, what do we do...? Are we not supposed to feel guilty about sin or about not performing well or right "at all" or not...? Or not...?

How do we resolve this issue...? How do we get out of the trap...?

Were not supposed to be in it anymore, under the NC, but or so, how to we truly get out of it...?

How do we get "free" or become "free" (from this, ect)...?

AND, How do we get out of it, "without sinning or doing it wrong" or the wrong way also...?

God Bless!
Performance trap, isn't that a thing that starts with a performance oriented sermon and a bunch of sheeple saying Amen?

All week the mentality of that one or two hours on Sunday shades the whole week gray.

The main way to become free, is to be free.
 
Upvote 0

Phil W

Well-Known Member
Apr 15, 2019
3,187
675
69
Mesa, Az
✟67,340.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
The Performance Trap...? How do we get out of it...?

We go through a cycle, a cycle that repeats itself over and over and over again, and again and again...

How do we break it...?

We feel guilty about sin, and then we try to "perform" and "do better" but we fail, and we never can even reach the mark of perfection, we will always miss it, and then we go back to feeling guilty (again) and like God maybe doesn't love us, (again) ect... Then we try to perform and do better (again), ect... And, ect, ect, ect., so on and so forth..

It's a trap, a performance trap...

So, what do we do...? Are we not supposed to feel guilty about sin or about not performing well or right "at all" or not...? Or not...?

How do we resolve this issue...? How do we get out of the trap...?

Were not supposed to be in it anymore, under the NC, but or so, how to we truly get out of it...?

How do we get "free" or become "free" (from this, ect)...?

AND, How do we get out of it, "without sinning or doing it wrong" or the wrong way also...?

God Bless!
Isn't it a "non-performance" trap?
Staying holy all the time is facilitated by God.
Study, prayer, faith, and grace are the cornerstones of belief in Christ.
You manifest who you are born of.
Pick one and cling to it!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Neogaia777
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
23,277
5,237
45
Oregon
✟952,787.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
Isn't it a "non-performance" trap?
You know what I mean... Don't you...?

Performing in order to receive or get or gain or attain from God, ect... also trying to be good enough to do the same, ect, ect... When it's quite impossible to be "good enough", know enough, ect... But not wanting to give up, ect...

God Bless!
 
Upvote 0

Presbyterian Continuist

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Mar 28, 2005
21,810
10,792
76
Christchurch New Zealand
Visit site
✟827,333.00
Country
New Zealand
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
You know what I mean... Don't you...?

God Bless!
In my view, a performance-based Christian is one who is trying to justify himself through his works; while a grace-based Christian rests in Christ, ceases from his own works, and allows the Holy Spirit to work holiness and sanctification in him.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Neogaia777
Upvote 0

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
23,277
5,237
45
Oregon
✟952,787.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
In my view, a performance-based Christian is one who is trying to justify himself through his works; while a grace-based Christian rests in Christ, ceases from his own works, and allows the Holy Spirit to work holiness and sanctification in him.
Yeah, just edited that post a bit too...

God Bless!
 
Upvote 0

Gregory Thompson

Change is inevitable, feel free to spare some.
Supporter
Dec 20, 2009
28,362
7,742
Canada
✟721,286.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Married
You know what I mean... Don't you...?

Performing in order to receive or get or gain or attain from God, ect... also trying to be good enough to do the same, ect, ect... When it's quite impossible to be "good enough", know enough, ect... But not wanting to give up, ect...

God Bless!
I think it's the road of good intentions in the following message.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
23,277
5,237
45
Oregon
✟952,787.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
I think it's the road of good intentions in the following message.
Sorry not going to watch a 45 minute message right now, (maybe later, maybe) could you maybe just give me the highlights or high points, or main points maybe, maybe...?

God Bless!
 
Upvote 0

Gregory Thompson

Change is inevitable, feel free to spare some.
Supporter
Dec 20, 2009
28,362
7,742
Canada
✟721,286.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Married
Sorry not going to watch a 45 minute message right now, (maybe later, maybe) could you maybe just give me the highlights or high points, or main points maybe, maybe...?

God Bless!
It's been on the internet for a while so I searched and found this
Two Roads — Trueface
 
Upvote 0

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
23,277
5,237
45
Oregon
✟952,787.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
I think it's the road of good intentions in the following message.

Sorry not going to watch a 45 minute message right now, (maybe later, maybe) could you maybe just give me the highlights or high points, or main points maybe, maybe...?

God Bless!
OK, I'm watching some of it, pretty good so far, gonna watch the rest later K...?

Thanks,

God Bless!
 
Upvote 0

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
23,277
5,237
45
Oregon
✟952,787.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Presbyterian Continuist

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Mar 28, 2005
21,810
10,792
76
Christchurch New Zealand
Visit site
✟827,333.00
Country
New Zealand
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
What does that "look like"...?

God Bless!
It is living a holy life because you want to, not because you have to. And when you find yourself falling short through the weakness of your flesh, you talk to God about it and receive forgiveness and cleansing.
 
Upvote 0