From broken athiest to a New Creation in Christ Jesus!

tryphena rose

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*Forewarning: my testimony contains contents of mental illness, homelessness and drug addiction.*

Early in my life there was a lot of struggles as my parents divorced when I was just 3 and my brother was 1. My dad was hardly ever around, frequenting bars and coming home late while my mom faced homelessness for several years. Eventually my mom was able to get housing and things were finally looking up. Until the year 2005 when I turned 10, my brother passed away at the age of 8 years old. Our car had stalled in the middle of the highway one night and a tractor trailer flatbed had destroyed our vehicle, killing my brother on impact. It was a devastating shock for my entire family. Looking back, it was a miracle I made it out with only but a scratch on me.

After his death, both of my parents crumbled mentally and physically in many ways. My father, who worked hard physical labor as an electrician, had gotten major back surgery just about a year after losing his son. His back surgery was so major, they placed him on highly addictive painkillers, which he began abusing for many, many years. I witnessed him as a young girl many times falling, stumbling, slurring his words, just not being able to function in general. He even showed up to my school like this on occasion, which introduced child protective services into my life.

My mom had always struggled mentally, as she suffered from postpartum depression after my brother was born. This landed her in a psych ward where she had to be carefully monitored. After my brothers death, she was crippled in her despair. She closed herself off from the world and drank every night. When she drank she became very emotional and angry, many times taking out that anger on me verbally. While I was in High School, she had gotten a DWI while drinking with me in the car. Child protective services had suggested I live with my grandmother to keep me safe. My grandma was a real blessing and if it weren't for her, I don't know what would have happened to me as both my parents weren't capable of caring for me.

As I went back and forth between living with my mom and my grandma, my dad was still unstable and I hardly saw him or heard from him. When I did, I hated him in my heart and wanted nothing to do with him. At this time, I had all but one boyfriend throughout my entire time in High School and at the age of 17, I foolishly gave away my virginity to him. Once he left me, something inside me broke. Right before graduation, I came home one afternoon to find my mom in a state of hysteria. I couldn't calm her down nor did I understand what was wrong with her. I thought she was going through a mental break so I called my grandma and we got her to the nearest hospital. There, we discovered she had been doing cocaine.

I was distraught and couldn't believe she'd do that. She started seeing this young man who fed her the cocaine as well as started bringing his friends in and out of our apartment to steal our belongings while my mom was out of her mind. He even stole her car and practically all of the money she had left. After he left and wound up in jail himself, my mom had set our apartment on fire. All the while I was thankfully safely with my grandma, but this sent my mom to jail with an arson offense.

All of this left me with an extremely hardened heart, a genuine hatred for people, extreme pessimism and a deep sense of meaninglessness and hopelessness. Throughout these difficult times, I clung to atheism and came to believe evolution was true and science was the only logical means of traversing this life. I believed that if there was a God, then he was terrible for making me go through all of what I went through so I vowed to never put my faith in what I claimed was nothing but a fairy-tale. I believed I was strong and that only weak people believed in God but my strength alone, was incredibly weak, though I was deceived at the time.

My brothers death still haunted me and every single moment it was as if I had this painful gaping hole in my heart. Whether I laughed, smiled, cried or was angry, it was always there. Whether I awoke in the morning or went to rest my head at night, nothing could heal this internal wound and I was certain I would carry it with me all the days of my life.

One night, my aunt and cousin approached me telling me about how they saw this psychic medium. (Disclaimer: please don't ever consult with a psychic. There is a lot of deception there and it's entirely demonic. See the Bible on clarification of this topic.) I was wholly skeptical, but when she mentioned that my "brothers spirit" was there, I decided I wanted to test it for myself. At the appointment, I was wholly stunned by what I experienced. This woman told me things she couldn't have possibly known. The biggest thing that shocked me in particular was when she mentioned this journal I carried around with me. She had said "you carry it around with you everywhere, everyday", which is exactly what I did for an entire year. No one knew this besides my best friend, who had no connection to this woman. Logically, it didn't make sense unless something was there, watching me at all times and knew what I was doing in my alone time. I left that day questioning what I had believed about reality, though I didn't just believe everything she told me.

A couple of days later, that same week, I joined this site called experience project. It was entirely anonymous and so you had the freedom to post what you like, how you feel and what you think confidentially. That very night, I stumbled across this one person's profile who shared a lot in common with me. We began talking about deep things, our lives and our desires in life, things of that nature (mind you, neither of us had gone here to find a partner/it wasn’t a dating website). I was careful of course, because it was the internet after all, but this person and I continued to talk for 3 months every single day before revealing each others names, faces, and/or numbers to one another. When we began speaking on the phone, is when he really started witnessing to me about the love of Jesus.

He mentioned his faith briefly through our messages but when we talked, he didn't hold back on the Truth he believed in. He told me many things about Jesus and the Bible, many things I had never heard before. Though I fought him with every part of my being when it came to the topic, he always continued firmly, adamantly but lovingly. I had purchased a Bible and the first book he recommended I read was Ecclesiastes. I was blown away by the profound wisdom lurking in it’s pages and it made me realize if I hadn’t known this was in the Bible, what else hadn’t I known?

This man and I continued to grow in feelings towards one another but one of the biggest obstacles for meeting face to face was that we lived completely across the country from one another. And I literally mean coast to coast. At this time, God was working a path to open up for my dad (both of my parents were in adult care homes) and I to reconnect and he took the amazing trip with me to California. This man and I met and the love he showed me through our messages and phone calls sprang to life when we stood in front of one another.

One night while we were standing beneath the stars, he taught me how to pray. That night is when I accepted Jesus into my heart, into my life, so that He could rule as my Lord and my Savior. That internal wound that was left by the death of my brother as well as all the hurt I had endured years afterwards, was healed instantly. I knew right then and there that I needed no more proof. That Jesus was who He claimed to be and I knew without a doubt that He was Lord over all the earth. The shackles that led to so much hurt and shame came off and I knew I was completely loved and fully redeemed by the blood of our Savior.

Four years ago I was saved by Jesus Christ. Today, I live in California and while I left many of my relatives behind and faced lots of rejection for my conversion to Christianity, it just made the Truth that had been made known to me, all the more clear. This man and I are a month away from marrying. He is a virgin and I feel God has really redeemed this area of my life. God has forged a way for my dad to make a life here as well as my mom where they now lead more healthy lifestyles. And I’ve found a new family in the Body of Christ and have been blessed to serve among an amazing and Godly church. While things aren’t perfect just because I’ve become a Christian, God has surely blessed me richly and I will forever be grateful for the Love and Mercy He has shown me. I no longer have to shed any tears over the loss of my brother, because I know the holder of life and death, the Maker of all things, and my life rests in the palm of His Holy hands. Hallelujah!
 

devin553344

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Amazing testimony. Thanks for sharing. I lost a nephew that drowned in a pool and I had to give him CPR, but he didn't revive. I still feel different because of it. Your testimony gives me hope.
 
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bèlla

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God’s mercy is never-ending. It can be difficult to reconcile painful experiences but He provides beauty for ashes of the sweetest kind.

Congratulations on your engagement and may your marriage be richly blessed. :)
 
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eleos1954

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*Forewarning: my testimony contains contents of mental illness, homelessness and drug addiction.*

Early in my life there was a lot of struggles as my parents divorced when I was just 3 and my brother was 1. My dad was hardly ever around, frequenting bars and coming home late while my mom faced homelessness for several years. Eventually my mom was able to get housing and things were finally looking up. Until the year 2005 when I turned 10, my brother passed away at the age of 8 years old. Our car had stalled in the middle of the highway one night and a tractor trailer flatbed had destroyed our vehicle, killing my brother on impact. It was a devastating shock for my entire family. Looking back, it was a miracle I made it out with only but a scratch on me.

After his death, both of my parents crumbled mentally and physically in many ways. My father, who worked hard physical labor as an electrician, had gotten major back surgery just about a year after losing his son. His back surgery was so major, they placed him on highly addictive painkillers, which he began abusing for many, many years. I witnessed him as a young girl many times falling, stumbling, slurring his words, just not being able to function in general. He even showed up to my school like this on occasion, which introduced child protective services into my life.

My mom had always struggled mentally, as she suffered from postpartum depression after my brother was born. This landed her in a psych ward where she had to be carefully monitored. After my brothers death, she was crippled in her despair. She closed herself off from the world and drank every night. When she drank she became very emotional and angry, many times taking out that anger on me verbally. While I was in High School, she had gotten a DWI while drinking with me in the car. Child protective services had suggested I live with my grandmother to keep me safe. My grandma was a real blessing and if it weren't for her, I don't know what would have happened to me as both my parents weren't capable of caring for me.

As I went back and forth between living with my mom and my grandma, my dad was still unstable and I hardly saw him or heard from him. When I did, I hated him in my heart and wanted nothing to do with him. At this time, I had all but one boyfriend throughout my entire time in High School and at the age of 17, I foolishly gave away my virginity to him. Once he left me, something inside me broke. Right before graduation, I came home one afternoon to find my mom in a state of hysteria. I couldn't calm her down nor did I understand what was wrong with her. I thought she was going through a mental break so I called my grandma and we got her to the nearest hospital. There, we discovered she had been doing cocaine.

I was distraught and couldn't believe she'd do that. She started seeing this young man who fed her the cocaine as well as started bringing his friends in and out of our apartment to steal our belongings while my mom was out of her mind. He even stole her car and practically all of the money she had left. After he left and wound up in jail himself, my mom had set our apartment on fire. All the while I was thankfully safely with my grandma, but this sent my mom to jail with an arson offense.

All of this left me with an extremely hardened heart, a genuine hatred for people, extreme pessimism and a deep sense of meaninglessness and hopelessness. Throughout these difficult times, I clung to atheism and came to believe evolution was true and science was the only logical means of traversing this life. I believed that if there was a God, then he was terrible for making me go through all of what I went through so I vowed to never put my faith in what I claimed was nothing but a fairy-tale. I believed I was strong and that only weak people believed in God but my strength alone, was incredibly weak, though I was deceived at the time.

My brothers death still haunted me and every single moment it was as if I had this painful gaping hole in my heart. Whether I laughed, smiled, cried or was angry, it was always there. Whether I awoke in the morning or went to rest my head at night, nothing could heal this internal wound and I was certain I would carry it with me all the days of my life.

One night, my aunt and cousin approached me telling me about how they saw this psychic medium. (Disclaimer: please don't ever consult with a psychic. There is a lot of deception there and it's entirely demonic. See the Bible on clarification of this topic.) I was wholly skeptical, but when she mentioned that my "brothers spirit" was there, I decided I wanted to test it for myself. At the appointment, I was wholly stunned by what I experienced. This woman told me things she couldn't have possibly known. The biggest thing that shocked me in particular was when she mentioned this journal I carried around with me. She had said "you carry it around with you everywhere, everyday", which is exactly what I did for an entire year. No one knew this besides my best friend, who had no connection to this woman. Logically, it didn't make sense unless something was there, watching me at all times and knew what I was doing in my alone time. I left that day questioning what I had believed about reality, though I didn't just believe everything she told me.

A couple of days later, that same week, I joined this site called experience project. It was entirely anonymous and so you had the freedom to post what you like, how you feel and what you think confidentially. That very night, I stumbled across this one person's profile who shared a lot in common with me. We began talking about deep things, our lives and our desires in life, things of that nature (mind you, neither of us had gone here to find a partner/it wasn’t a dating website). I was careful of course, because it was the internet after all, but this person and I continued to talk for 3 months every single day before revealing each others names, faces, and/or numbers to one another. When we began speaking on the phone, is when he really started witnessing to me about the love of Jesus.

He mentioned his faith briefly through our messages but when we talked, he didn't hold back on the Truth he believed in. He told me many things about Jesus and the Bible, many things I had never heard before. Though I fought him with every part of my being when it came to the topic, he always continued firmly, adamantly but lovingly. I had purchased a Bible and the first book he recommended I read was Ecclesiastes. I was blown away by the profound wisdom lurking in it’s pages and it made me realize if I hadn’t known this was in the Bible, what else hadn’t I known?

This man and I continued to grow in feelings towards one another but one of the biggest obstacles for meeting face to face was that we lived completely across the country from one another. And I literally mean coast to coast. At this time, God was working a path to open up for my dad (both of my parents were in adult care homes) and I to reconnect and he took the amazing trip with me to California. This man and I met and the love he showed me through our messages and phone calls sprang to life when we stood in front of one another.

One night while we were standing beneath the stars, he taught me how to pray. That night is when I accepted Jesus into my heart, into my life, so that He could rule as my Lord and my Savior. That internal wound that was left by the death of my brother as well as all the hurt I had endured years afterwards, was healed instantly. I knew right then and there that I needed no more proof. That Jesus was who He claimed to be and I knew without a doubt that He was Lord over all the earth. The shackles that led to so much hurt and shame came off and I knew I was completely loved and fully redeemed by the blood of our Savior.

Four years ago I was saved by Jesus Christ. Today, I live in California and while I left many of my relatives behind and faced lots of rejection for my conversion to Christianity, it just made the Truth that had been made known to me, all the more clear. This man and I are a month away from marrying. He is a virgin and I feel God has really redeemed this area of my life. God has forged a way for my dad to make a life here as well as my mom where they now lead more healthy lifestyles. And I’ve found a new family in the Body of Christ and have been blessed to serve among an amazing and Godly church. While things aren’t perfect just because I’ve become a Christian, God has surely blessed me richly and I will forever be grateful for the Love and Mercy He has shown me. I no longer have to shed any tears over the loss of my brother, because I know the holder of life and death, the Maker of all things, and my life rests in the palm of His Holy hands. Hallelujah!

Thank you so much for sharing your testimony. People who do not know the Lord are missing so much ... yes we have trials, yes we have struggles, and yes we mess up (a lot) and we suffer losses but we have a Lord to help us through, lift us up and experience a love that is overwhelming, transforming, unexplainable and never fails. Though we may stumble and fall .... He will not.

Philippians 1:6; “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Glory to God! Be blessed.
 
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brinny

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*Forewarning: my testimony contains contents of mental illness, homelessness and drug addiction.*

Early in my life there was a lot of struggles as my parents divorced when I was just 3 and my brother was 1. My dad was hardly ever around, frequenting bars and coming home late while my mom faced homelessness for several years. Eventually my mom was able to get housing and things were finally looking up. Until the year 2005 when I turned 10, my brother passed away at the age of 8 years old. Our car had stalled in the middle of the highway one night and a tractor trailer flatbed had destroyed our vehicle, killing my brother on impact. It was a devastating shock for my entire family. Looking back, it was a miracle I made it out with only but a scratch on me.

After his death, both of my parents crumbled mentally and physically in many ways. My father, who worked hard physical labor as an electrician, had gotten major back surgery just about a year after losing his son. His back surgery was so major, they placed him on highly addictive painkillers, which he began abusing for many, many years. I witnessed him as a young girl many times falling, stumbling, slurring his words, just not being able to function in general. He even showed up to my school like this on occasion, which introduced child protective services into my life.

My mom had always struggled mentally, as she suffered from postpartum depression after my brother was born. This landed her in a psych ward where she had to be carefully monitored. After my brothers death, she was crippled in her despair. She closed herself off from the world and drank every night. When she drank she became very emotional and angry, many times taking out that anger on me verbally. While I was in High School, she had gotten a DWI while drinking with me in the car. Child protective services had suggested I live with my grandmother to keep me safe. My grandma was a real blessing and if it weren't for her, I don't know what would have happened to me as both my parents weren't capable of caring for me.

As I went back and forth between living with my mom and my grandma, my dad was still unstable and I hardly saw him or heard from him. When I did, I hated him in my heart and wanted nothing to do with him. At this time, I had all but one boyfriend throughout my entire time in High School and at the age of 17, I foolishly gave away my virginity to him. Once he left me, something inside me broke. Right before graduation, I came home one afternoon to find my mom in a state of hysteria. I couldn't calm her down nor did I understand what was wrong with her. I thought she was going through a mental break so I called my grandma and we got her to the nearest hospital. There, we discovered she had been doing cocaine.

I was distraught and couldn't believe she'd do that. She started seeing this young man who fed her the cocaine as well as started bringing his friends in and out of our apartment to steal our belongings while my mom was out of her mind. He even stole her car and practically all of the money she had left. After he left and wound up in jail himself, my mom had set our apartment on fire. All the while I was thankfully safely with my grandma, but this sent my mom to jail with an arson offense.

All of this left me with an extremely hardened heart, a genuine hatred for people, extreme pessimism and a deep sense of meaninglessness and hopelessness. Throughout these difficult times, I clung to atheism and came to believe evolution was true and science was the only logical means of traversing this life. I believed that if there was a God, then he was terrible for making me go through all of what I went through so I vowed to never put my faith in what I claimed was nothing but a fairy-tale. I believed I was strong and that only weak people believed in God but my strength alone, was incredibly weak, though I was deceived at the time.

My brothers death still haunted me and every single moment it was as if I had this painful gaping hole in my heart. Whether I laughed, smiled, cried or was angry, it was always there. Whether I awoke in the morning or went to rest my head at night, nothing could heal this internal wound and I was certain I would carry it with me all the days of my life.

One night, my aunt and cousin approached me telling me about how they saw this psychic medium. (Disclaimer: please don't ever consult with a psychic. There is a lot of deception there and it's entirely demonic. See the Bible on clarification of this topic.) I was wholly skeptical, but when she mentioned that my "brothers spirit" was there, I decided I wanted to test it for myself. At the appointment, I was wholly stunned by what I experienced. This woman told me things she couldn't have possibly known. The biggest thing that shocked me in particular was when she mentioned this journal I carried around with me. She had said "you carry it around with you everywhere, everyday", which is exactly what I did for an entire year. No one knew this besides my best friend, who had no connection to this woman. Logically, it didn't make sense unless something was there, watching me at all times and knew what I was doing in my alone time. I left that day questioning what I had believed about reality, though I didn't just believe everything she told me.

A couple of days later, that same week, I joined this site called experience project. It was entirely anonymous and so you had the freedom to post what you like, how you feel and what you think confidentially. That very night, I stumbled across this one person's profile who shared a lot in common with me. We began talking about deep things, our lives and our desires in life, things of that nature (mind you, neither of us had gone here to find a partner/it wasn’t a dating website). I was careful of course, because it was the internet after all, but this person and I continued to talk for 3 months every single day before revealing each others names, faces, and/or numbers to one another. When we began speaking on the phone, is when he really started witnessing to me about the love of Jesus.

He mentioned his faith briefly through our messages but when we talked, he didn't hold back on the Truth he believed in. He told me many things about Jesus and the Bible, many things I had never heard before. Though I fought him with every part of my being when it came to the topic, he always continued firmly, adamantly but lovingly. I had purchased a Bible and the first book he recommended I read was Ecclesiastes. I was blown away by the profound wisdom lurking in it’s pages and it made me realize if I hadn’t known this was in the Bible, what else hadn’t I known?

This man and I continued to grow in feelings towards one another but one of the biggest obstacles for meeting face to face was that we lived completely across the country from one another. And I literally mean coast to coast. At this time, God was working a path to open up for my dad (both of my parents were in adult care homes) and I to reconnect and he took the amazing trip with me to California. This man and I met and the love he showed me through our messages and phone calls sprang to life when we stood in front of one another.

One night while we were standing beneath the stars, he taught me how to pray. That night is when I accepted Jesus into my heart, into my life, so that He could rule as my Lord and my Savior. That internal wound that was left by the death of my brother as well as all the hurt I had endured years afterwards, was healed instantly. I knew right then and there that I needed no more proof. That Jesus was who He claimed to be and I knew without a doubt that He was Lord over all the earth. The shackles that led to so much hurt and shame came off and I knew I was completely loved and fully redeemed by the blood of our Savior.

Four years ago I was saved by Jesus Christ. Today, I live in California and while I left many of my relatives behind and faced lots of rejection for my conversion to Christianity, it just made the Truth that had been made known to me, all the more clear. This man and I are a month away from marrying. He is a virgin and I feel God has really redeemed this area of my life. God has forged a way for my dad to make a life here as well as my mom where they now lead more healthy lifestyles. And I’ve found a new family in the Body of Christ and have been blessed to serve among an amazing and Godly church. While things aren’t perfect just because I’ve become a Christian, God has surely blessed me richly and I will forever be grateful for the Love and Mercy He has shown me. I no longer have to shed any tears over the loss of my brother, because I know the holder of life and death, the Maker of all things, and my life rests in the palm of His Holy hands. Hallelujah!

:heart: Praise God!!! Thank you for sharing your precious testimony, and welcome to CF, Rose. (((hug)))
 
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NothingIsImpossible

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Thanks for sharing! It makes me really feel like maybe there is still hope to reach out to atheists. I far to often give up because it feels useless. My ex-best friend when I was younger only became a stronger atheist by the time our friendship ended. I think it was because of how I was at the time, maybe he though christians were a joke. Or maybe I didn't lead him right. Whatever the case I am glad to hear you found salvation. Stay strong, trust in the Lord!
 
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Mel333

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*Forewarning: my testimony contains contents of mental illness, homelessness and drug addiction.*

Early in my life there was a lot of struggles as my parents divorced when I was just 3 and my brother was 1. My dad was hardly ever around, frequenting bars and coming home late while my mom faced homelessness for several years. Eventually my mom was able to get housing and things were finally looking up. Until the year 2005 when I turned 10, my brother passed away at the age of 8 years old. Our car had stalled in the middle of the highway one night and a tractor trailer flatbed had destroyed our vehicle, killing my brother on impact. It was a devastating shock for my entire family. Looking back, it was a miracle I made it out with only but a scratch on me.

After his death, both of my parents crumbled mentally and physically in many ways. My father, who worked hard physical labor as an electrician, had gotten major back surgery just about a year after losing his son. His back surgery was so major, they placed him on highly addictive painkillers, which he began abusing for many, many years. I witnessed him as a young girl many times falling, stumbling, slurring his words, just not being able to function in general. He even showed up to my school like this on occasion, which introduced child protective services into my life.

My mom had always struggled mentally, as she suffered from postpartum depression after my brother was born. This landed her in a psych ward where she had to be carefully monitored. After my brothers death, she was crippled in her despair. She closed herself off from the world and drank every night. When she drank she became very emotional and angry, many times taking out that anger on me verbally. While I was in High School, she had gotten a DWI while drinking with me in the car. Child protective services had suggested I live with my grandmother to keep me safe. My grandma was a real blessing and if it weren't for her, I don't know what would have happened to me as both my parents weren't capable of caring for me.

As I went back and forth between living with my mom and my grandma, my dad was still unstable and I hardly saw him or heard from him. When I did, I hated him in my heart and wanted nothing to do with him. At this time, I had all but one boyfriend throughout my entire time in High School and at the age of 17, I foolishly gave away my virginity to him. Once he left me, something inside me broke. Right before graduation, I came home one afternoon to find my mom in a state of hysteria. I couldn't calm her down nor did I understand what was wrong with her. I thought she was going through a mental break so I called my grandma and we got her to the nearest hospital. There, we discovered she had been doing cocaine.

I was distraught and couldn't believe she'd do that. She started seeing this young man who fed her the cocaine as well as started bringing his friends in and out of our apartment to steal our belongings while my mom was out of her mind. He even stole her car and practically all of the money she had left. After he left and wound up in jail himself, my mom had set our apartment on fire. All the while I was thankfully safely with my grandma, but this sent my mom to jail with an arson offense.

All of this left me with an extremely hardened heart, a genuine hatred for people, extreme pessimism and a deep sense of meaninglessness and hopelessness. Throughout these difficult times, I clung to atheism and came to believe evolution was true and science was the only logical means of traversing this life. I believed that if there was a God, then he was terrible for making me go through all of what I went through so I vowed to never put my faith in what I claimed was nothing but a fairy-tale. I believed I was strong and that only weak people believed in God but my strength alone, was incredibly weak, though I was deceived at the time.

My brothers death still haunted me and every single moment it was as if I had this painful gaping hole in my heart. Whether I laughed, smiled, cried or was angry, it was always there. Whether I awoke in the morning or went to rest my head at night, nothing could heal this internal wound and I was certain I would carry it with me all the days of my life.

One night, my aunt and cousin approached me telling me about how they saw this psychic medium. (Disclaimer: please don't ever consult with a psychic. There is a lot of deception there and it's entirely demonic. See the Bible on clarification of this topic.) I was wholly skeptical, but when she mentioned that my "brothers spirit" was there, I decided I wanted to test it for myself. At the appointment, I was wholly stunned by what I experienced. This woman told me things she couldn't have possibly known. The biggest thing that shocked me in particular was when she mentioned this journal I carried around with me. She had said "you carry it around with you everywhere, everyday", which is exactly what I did for an entire year. No one knew this besides my best friend, who had no connection to this woman. Logically, it didn't make sense unless something was there, watching me at all times and knew what I was doing in my alone time. I left that day questioning what I had believed about reality, though I didn't just believe everything she told me.

A couple of days later, that same week, I joined this site called experience project. It was entirely anonymous and so you had the freedom to post what you like, how you feel and what you think confidentially. That very night, I stumbled across this one person's profile who shared a lot in common with me. We began talking about deep things, our lives and our desires in life, things of that nature (mind you, neither of us had gone here to find a partner/it wasn’t a dating website). I was careful of course, because it was the internet after all, but this person and I continued to talk for 3 months every single day before revealing each others names, faces, and/or numbers to one another. When we began speaking on the phone, is when he really started witnessing to me about the love of Jesus.

He mentioned his faith briefly through our messages but when we talked, he didn't hold back on the Truth he believed in. He told me many things about Jesus and the Bible, many things I had never heard before. Though I fought him with every part of my being when it came to the topic, he always continued firmly, adamantly but lovingly. I had purchased a Bible and the first book he recommended I read was Ecclesiastes. I was blown away by the profound wisdom lurking in it’s pages and it made me realize if I hadn’t known this was in the Bible, what else hadn’t I known?

This man and I continued to grow in feelings towards one another but one of the biggest obstacles for meeting face to face was that we lived completely across the country from one another. And I literally mean coast to coast. At this time, God was working a path to open up for my dad (both of my parents were in adult care homes) and I to reconnect and he took the amazing trip with me to California. This man and I met and the love he showed me through our messages and phone calls sprang to life when we stood in front of one another.

One night while we were standing beneath the stars, he taught me how to pray. That night is when I accepted Jesus into my heart, into my life, so that He could rule as my Lord and my Savior. That internal wound that was left by the death of my brother as well as all the hurt I had endured years afterwards, was healed instantly. I knew right then and there that I needed no more proof. That Jesus was who He claimed to be and I knew without a doubt that He was Lord over all the earth. The shackles that led to so much hurt and shame came off and I knew I was completely loved and fully redeemed by the blood of our Savior.

Four years ago I was saved by Jesus Christ. Today, I live in California and while I left many of my relatives behind and faced lots of rejection for my conversion to Christianity, it just made the Truth that had been made known to me, all the more clear. This man and I are a month away from marrying. He is a virgin and I feel God has really redeemed this area of my life. God has forged a way for my dad to make a life here as well as my mom where they now lead more healthy lifestyles. And I’ve found a new family in the Body of Christ and have been blessed to serve among an amazing and Godly church. While things aren’t perfect just because I’ve become a Christian, God has surely blessed me richly and I will forever be grateful for the Love and Mercy He has shown me. I no longer have to shed any tears over the loss of my brother, because I know the holder of life and death, the Maker of all things, and my life rests in the palm of His Holy hands. Hallelujah!

Amazing!!!! Awww what a great story and he's going to be your husband. How wonderful.
 
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tryphena rose

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Amazing testimony. Thanks for sharing. I lost a nephew that drowned in a pool and I had to give him CPR, but he didn't revive. I still feel different because of it. Your testimony gives me hope.
My prayers and condolences go out to you and your family Devin. Yes, death is a very hard thing to cope with, especially when you witness your loved one go. Which in my case, I was seated right next to my brother when the accident occurred. But rest assured brother, there is always hope in Jesus!


He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. Psalm 147:2


For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? Romans 8:24
 
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tryphena rose

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God’s mercy is never-ending. It can be difficult to reconcile painful experiences but He provides beauty for ashes of the sweetest kind.

Congratulations on your engagement and may your marriage be richly blessed. :)
Amen sister! And thank you very much. God bless you! :heart:
Thank you so much for sharing your testimony. People who do not know the Lord are missing so much ... yes we have trials, yes we have struggles, and yes we mess up (a lot) and we suffer losses but we have a Lord to help us through, lift us up and experience a love that is overwhelming, transforming, unexplainable and never fails. Though we may stumble and fall .... He will not.

Philippians 1:6; “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Glory to God! Be blessed.
Amen. It is true. There is no hope without Christ and this life is a painful one without our Savior. The “peace”, “love” and “joy” the world offers are nothing but counterfeits compared to the real thing. And I pray deeply for those who have yet to accept Him as Lord. Knowing from my own experience though, there certainly is so much hope for reaching those who are lost!
 
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tryphena rose

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Thanks for sharing! It makes me really feel like maybe there is still hope to reach out to atheists. I far to often give up because it feels useless. My ex-best friend when I was younger only became a stronger atheist by the time our friendship ended. I think it was because of how I was at the time, maybe he though christians were a joke. Or maybe I didn't lead him right. Whatever the case I am glad to hear you found salvation. Stay strong, trust in the Lord!
It certainly can feel hopeless as even with my current understanding and experiences, I too struggle with reaching certain people that I love. It’s really a matter of the heart and we can relay the message, but it’s the Lord who does the work on opening the hearts of those who don’t believe. My fiance carried out his duty as a Christian and told me about Christ, but he was powerless when it came to changing me on the inside. God works in such amazing and surprising ways that you never know what seeds may have been planted while you were his friend. I will be keeping him in my prayers that he may place his hope in Jesus. :prayer:
 
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I think it was because of how I was at the time, maybe he though christians were a joke. Or maybe I didn't lead him right.

God often uses many things to reach someone. Each part has its purpose. He knows the impact the experience will have on a person’s heart.

We don’t know where the person is in the process. Mishandling can have disastrous results. I’ve experienced it firsthand and it was necessary to find my way to Him in a synagogue.

I’ve spoken with many atheists. I was agnostic myself at one time. But our interactions are genuine. I’m interested in them as a person not as a project and I’ve felt the difference.

Because of my experience I’m devoid of fear or worry about getting things right. I grasp the progressive nature of salvation and the part I play in the process.

It is rare for one person to lead a person to God from start to finish. Much like a field, there’s often many hands who’ve done their bit to reach the harvest you’ve seen.

The greatest witness any Christian has is how they live. It matters not how many scriptures you know or evangelism tools you employ if your fruit is unlike His.

Rest in the comfort that you’ve done your part for the season you shared with him. It’s God’s responsibility to bring people to faith not ours. We bear witness to the truth through the testament of our person. :)
 
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Yennora

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Your testimony is really powerful and I wanted to share it alongside this one with this member.

I feel like this member is heavily broken and I tried to share my testimony but yours is more powerful. I feel like I couldn't help that member and I feel very troubled for him/her. Any advice? Would you love to share anything with that member? I don't want to see someone breaks this way..

Also thank you for sharing your testimony because you taught me that not testifying for others can be a selfish act sometimes. I started not testifying recently in order to make people more comfortable. I nearly closed my eye completely to that matter even if some of those around me could be welcome to listen sometimes. Now, I should rethink testifying because it really can make a difference.
 
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tryphena rose

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Your testimony is really powerful and I wanted to share it alongside this one with this member.

I feel like this member is heavily broken and I tried to share my testimony but yours is more powerful. I feel like I couldn't help that member and I feel very troubled for him/her. Any advice? Would you love to share anything with that member? I don't want to see someone breaks this way..

Also thank you for sharing your testimony because you taught me that not testifying for others can be a selfish act sometimes. I started not testifying recently in order to make people more comfortable. I nearly closed my eye completely to that matter even if some of those around me could be welcome to listen sometimes. Now, I should rethink testifying because it really can make a difference.
It would be an extreme pleasure if you shared my testimony to help a brother or sister in need. The whole reason for me posting it was because I've felt the call from the Holy Spirit, so I do believe God will use it in accordance to His Will.

Since you sent me two different people, I'm assuming you're referring to Box and not Derek who you're worried for, right? I can certainly reach out to them if you'd like. While words can sometimes only go so far, especially to someone who is struggling so deeply and emotionally, I would advise to pray pray pray. This truly is a spiritual warfare we are fighting. While I sympathize with how you feel for this individual, don't try to carry this weight on your own but in all things, walk with our Messiah and lean on Him.

Yes, I truly believe it's important to not only share our faith with others, but to also share our testimonies when the chance presents itself. My fiance shared his faith with me, because he loved me. He felt if he kept that from me, then his motives would have been more selfish rather than acting out of love not only for me but also for the Father. God has shown me that even with actions I've taken to show others Jesus, the most insignificant things I believed I had done, God has used them all for His Glory, leaving me in awe and wonder at His amazing Love and Mercy. :clap:

P.S. I'll let you know that when my fiance shared his faith with me initially, it made me extremely uncomfortable because I had rejected the Truth so deeply. Even hearing the name of Jesus left me extremely uneasy, which is something I rationally had to come to terms with as an atheist. But all that discomfort lead to an unimaginable amount of freedom and eternal life with the Father. So please, don't fear when it comes to sharing your testimony! Even if you face adversity at the beginning, you never know what seeds may be planted in the hearts of those around you!
 
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Yennora

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It would be an extreme pleasure if you shared my testimony to help a brother or sister in need. The whole reason for me posting it was because I've felt the call from the Holy Spirit, so I do believe God will use it in accordance to His Will.

Since you sent me two different people, I'm assuming you're referring to Box and not Derek who you're worried for, right? I can certainly reach out to them if you'd like. While words can sometimes only go so far, especially to someone who is struggling so deeply and emotionally, I would advise to pray pray pray. This truly is a spiritual warfare we are fighting. While I sympathize with how you feel for this individual, don't try to carry this weight on your own but in all things, walk with our Messiah and lean on Him.

Yes, I truly believe it's important to not only share our faith with others, but to also share our testimonies when the chance presents itself. My fiance shared his faith with me, because he loved me. He felt if he kept that from me, then his motives would have been more selfish rather than acting out of love not only for me but also for the Father. God has shown me that even with actions I've taken to show others Jesus, the most insignificant things I believed I had done, God has used them all for His Glory, leaving me in awe and wonder at His amazing Love and Mercy. :clap:

P.S. I'll let you know that when my fiance shared his faith with me initially, it made me extremely uncomfortable because I had rejected the Truth so deeply. Even hearing the name of Jesus left me extremely uneasy, which is something I rationally had to come to terms with as an atheist. But all that discomfort lead to an unimaginable amount of freedom and eternal life with the Father. So please, don't fear when it comes to sharing your testimony! Even if you face adversity at the beginning, you never know what seeds may be planted in the hearts of those around you!

Yes, the member I mentioned is ToBox. And yes, I think I should pray for them more.

I also agree that sometimes even the littlest actions bring unusual results and in this I see God's work clearly.

Thank you for showing me that not everyone will close their ears and attack all the time. But there exist persons who will listen or at least, try to have faith for themselves and see if it is actually true with a willing heart.

I'm glad you have reached stability in your life now and I hope that your relationship with your fiance will always remain powerful, fruitful and prosperous. I also console you for all the pain you saw, that is in fact a very heavy dose of pain that no one deserves to take. I hope things will turn out for the better for your family members.
 
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Greengardener

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Thanks for sharing! It makes me really feel like maybe there is still hope to reach out to atheists. I far to often give up because it feels useless. My ex-best friend when I was younger only became a stronger atheist by the time our friendship ended. I think it was because of how I was at the time, maybe he though christians were a joke. Or maybe I didn't lead him right. Whatever the case I am glad to hear you found salvation. Stay strong, trust in the Lord!
Hey, NothingIsImpossible, I can hear the hurt in how you feel you abdicated your place, but we often don't know how to take our proper place when we are children. Now you see the consequences and are more encouraged to do exactly that now, which is appropriate repentence because you are turning away from that, turning to God, and picking up the task at hand. Thankfully, her young man friend knew how to stand, demonstrating what we all need to be living. I also had a friend who similarly led me to Christ by quiet and solid standing while continuing to convey that life-giving message. Now you, she, and I all have the opportunity to take this part forward and work in God's field while it is yet day. Oh, how He loves us!

What an amazing testimony tryphena rose! Thank you so much for sharing it! It demonstrates God's wonderful love toward us! May you walk in His ways always and may He bring much fruit from your committed life!
 
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tryphena rose

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Yes, the member I mentioned is ToBox. And yes, I think I should pray for them more.

I also agree that sometimes even the littlest actions bring unusual results and in this I see God's work clearly.

Thank you for showing me that not everyone will close their ears and attack all the time. But there exist persons who will listen or at least, try to have faith for themselves and see if it is actually true with a willing heart.

I'm glad you have reached stability in your life now and I hope that your relationship with your fiance will always remain powerful, fruitful and prosperous. I also console you for all the pain you saw, that is in fact a very heavy dose of pain that no one deserves to take. I hope things will turn out for the better for your family members.
Thank you Yennora for your kind words! While my childhood was rough, I always love to tell people that even though I went through so much hurt and pain, if I had to do it all over again to get where I am today in Christ, I would do so in a heartbeat. Now, dealing with pain isn't a nice experience at all but the amazing love God has for us, is unlike anything when experiencing it for the very first time. It's earth shattering in both a scary but very, very good way.

May God bless you abundantly brother! And may His Truth always remain in your heart!
 
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TruthSeek3r

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One night, my aunt and cousin approached me telling me about how they saw this psychic medium. (Disclaimer: please don't ever consult with a psychic. There is a lot of deception there and it's entirely demonic. See the Bible on clarification of this topic.) I was wholly skeptical, but when she mentioned that my "brothers spirit" was there, I decided I wanted to test it for myself. At the appointment, I was wholly stunned by what I experienced. This woman told me things she couldn't have possibly known. The biggest thing that shocked me in particular was when she mentioned this journal I carried around with me. She had said "you carry it around with you everywhere, everyday", which is exactly what I did for an entire year. No one knew this besides my best friend, who had no connection to this woman. Logically, it didn't make sense unless something was there, watching me at all times and knew what I was doing in my alone time. I left that day questioning what I had believed about reality, though I didn't just believe everything she told me.

This sounds like the pagan version of the "gift of knowledge" or "word of knowledge", the only difference being that it is a demon the one who reveals the information, rather than the Holy Spirit. Check out this thread for a very enlightening discussion on this and related gifts of the Spirit: Difference between receiving a word of knowledge, a word of wisdom and a prophecy?. (Some people have shared personal experiences on that thread as well.)

One night while we were standing beneath the stars, he taught me how to pray. That night is when I accepted Jesus into my heart, into my life, so that He could rule as my Lord and my Savior. That internal wound that was left by the death of my brother as well as all the hurt I had endured years afterwards, was healed instantly. I knew right then and there that I needed no more proof. That Jesus was who He claimed to be and I knew without a doubt that He was Lord over all the earth. The shackles that led to so much hurt and shame came off and I knew I was completely loved and fully redeemed by the blood of our Savior.

It looks like you had a dramatic born-again experience right there and then. This experience, together with the previous one with the psychic, was the one that sealed your conversion against any reasonable doubt, right? Have you ever had any doubts or temptations to go back to your former atheistic mindset ever since?
 
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tryphena rose

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This sounds like the pagan version of the "gift of knowledge" or "word of knowledge", the only difference being that it is a demon the one who reveals the information, rather than the Holy Spirit. Check out this thread for a very enlightening discussion on this and related gifts of the Spirit: Difference between receiving a word of knowledge, a word of wisdom and a prophecy?. (Some people have shared personal experiences on that thread as well.)



It looks like you had a dramatic born-again experience right there and then. This experience, together with the previous one with the psychic, was the one that sealed your conversion against any reasonable doubt, right? Have you ever had any doubts or temptations to go back to your former atheistic mindset ever since?
Oh yes, I fully believe that what happened the night the psychic told me those things, was purely demonic. She claimed to be talking to her spirit guides as well as my deceased relatives, so it seemed she and the other woman (who was also a psychic present in the room), were fully into demonic new age practices. I think God allowed for this experience to happen, to shatter my purely materialistic world view but He was right there to lead me to the Truth since He sent my husband to witness to me that same week. I also think satan tried to deceive me that night into believing his lies, as my cousin who was with me not only fell into homosexuality after this experience, but also was suddenly very interested in wanting to read tarot cards and other new age practices. I'll definitely check out the thread you posted!

I would say what sealed the deal for sure was the moment I accepted Jesus in my heart. Because yes, God made it clear to me that He was the Truth in a very undeniable way to me. It definitely was a supernatural experience, and one that I cannot prove to anyone with any physical proof if someone demanded that. And no, I never had any doubts or temptations to go back. My experience as an atheist was so dismal and empty, that I knew once I tasted the Truth, there was no way I could go back to living as my former self.
 
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