Are pre-nups un-Christian?

I look at it as not putting the Lord to a foolish test. Prenup is definitely Christian from that point of view.

Not un-Christian, strictly speaking. Might not be wise either.

I could see a pre-nup that expired over time or just guaranteed protection of some property to stay in the family if something happened to the marriage. I think it is a borderline issue. It is making an "exit plan" for a divorce before you get married. But I don't have an issue if it is used for specific things like protecting a family business or property from having to be sold or have a non-family member control it. I also don't have a problem in a second marriage if it expires, so it is in place until the couple has been married for say 8 years....but it would also have to have limitations that keep the other party from divorcing just to prevent it from expiring. This might be most useful in a large age gap or large financial gaps.

I plan on being incredibly rich before I get married. And I'm definitely not getting a pre-nup.

ThisIsMe123 said:

I have a good Christian friend that's divorced, she said she'd never marry again unless a pre-nup was signed.

However, this can really open up a can of worms should you admit to this, yes?

Like

1. You don't trust me?"
2. Admitting that the marriage will fail or you're already setting the arriage up for failure
3. Kind of like #1, but there's some resentment of one can't help but BE offended at even the mention of it.

I said this to her and she said "Well, if the object, then they weren't meant for me?"

As far as #2, she doesn't see it that way but see's it as a life raft in case the ship goes down.

Click to expand...

A pre-nup is "marriage insurance". For example,in order for me to get a mortgage, I have to have fire insurance for my home. I did not buy fire insurance hoping that my condo will burn down or setting my condo up to burn down. And,I hope that my home never burns down. I bought fire insurance just in case my home burns down. Therefore, a pre-nup is a protection. All insurances are protection.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said:

I plan on being incredibly rich before I get married. And I'm definitely not getting a pre-nup.

Click to expand...

How do you plan on making that happen?

mukk_in said:

I look at it as not putting the Lord to a foolish test. Prenup is definitely Christian from that point of view.

Click to expand...

As it is written, "You shall not tempt the Lord your God". With my bad luck with women, I may never get married again.

exitstageright said:

A pre-nup is "marriage insurance". For example,in order for me to get a mortgage, I have to have fire insurance for my home. I did not buy fire insurance hoping that my condo will burn down or setting my condo up to burn down. I bought fire insurance just in case my home burns down.

Click to expand...

You don't have to buy the insurance if you just buy the home. The fire insurance requirement is to protect the mortgage company's investment in your purchase. Marriages don't "just happen to fall apart"....it requires action or lack of action of the parties in it. If you don't have insurance to protect you from losses, you might fight harder to make it work.

I'd get a prenup for sure. Everyone thinks their marriage will beat the odds, but it doesn't change the fact it's statistically probable to fail. A prenup is just pragmatic.

In the past I likely wouldn't have considered it but a lot has changed. My salary now is close to $230,000 and I invest the majority of it in an ISA and stocks. I plan to retire by 50 and I am being brutal financially to make that happen. I wouldn't want a divorce to rob me of that because some arbitrary system believes one side is entitled to a disproportionate amount when weighed against their own contributions or discipline financially to the pot being split by courts.

Even if I were to date someone that earns more I'd still want that protection in place.

I've done a lot of leg work and spent a lot of money to put myself in a position to retire by 50 and I don't think that would be fair to lose that because of a divorce.

More than happy to split bills and even pay a bit more, contribute to joint savings, but now I'll always have that safety net.

I don't see it as having one foot in, it's just pragmatic.

I wouldn't marry a man who put a full pre-nup in front of me. I'd see it as a man who wasn't full committed to work through any issues we have and wasn't really sure he wanted to marry me. It would also say that he loved his stuff more than he loved me. Again, the exception would be something that had been in the family for a long time and should stay in the family.

In a lot of states, the law protects property that you brought into the marriage anyway.

blackribbon said:

How do you plan on making that happen?

Click to expand...

One thing I plan to do is start a whole new sports entertainment empire featuring current and ex-military people. it'll be the freshest and most innovative idea to come to cable television since ultimate fighting championship. Here's a gist of the first idea that I plan to pitch to industry specialists when the time comes.
I realize it takes money to get something like this off the ground. And those details I'm still treasuring to myself. God will make a way though. I know it.

If I were a Billionaire then I would need a pre-nup to be sure it was me and not the money that he was marrying?

Luckily for me I got married at 17 and neither of us had more than a couple bucks.

I would say it all depends. If a pre-nup takes money out of the picture and then love is the only reason for marriage than that is a good thing.

On the other hand if a pre-nup causes stress with your partner than its time to put the brakes on and ask .... Why?

Stormy said:

If I were a Billionaire then I would need a pre-nup to be sure it was me and not the money that he was marrying?

Luckily for me I got married at 17 and neither of us had more than a couple bucks.

I would say it all depends. If a pre-nup takes money out of the picture and then love is the only reason for marriage than that is a good thing.

On the other hand if a pre-nup causes stress with your partner than its time to put the brakes on and ask .... Why?

Click to expand...

The first case is one where I'd be for a graduated pre-nup. It would expire after a period of time which would prove intent for a genuine marriage.

blackribbon said:

You don't have to buy the insurance if you just buy the home. The fire insurance requirement is to protect the mortgage company's investment in your purchase. Marriages don't "just happen to fall apart"....it requires action or lack of action of the parties in it. If you don't have insurance to protect you from losses, you might fight harder to make it work.

Click to expand...

Yes,I do have to buy insurance in California.Did you read or heard about the wildfires that we have had here in California? As I said,insurance is a protection against loss. Being a health care professional,one knows the importance of having health care insurance. No one wants to get sick. But,people do get sick.

exitstageright said:

Yes,I do have to buy insurance in California.Did you read or heard about the wildfires that we have had here in California? As I said,insurance is a protection against loss. Being a health care professional,one knows the importance of having health care insurance. No one wants to get sick. But,people do get sick.

Click to expand...

You don't HAVE to buy the insurance (it is not mandated). You choose to buy insurance. There are people after every fire to didn't have lost everything. It is bought because you are planning for the chance of loss. A pre-up is planning for a divorce. I am not saying that is a wise or foolish consideration but it means that you are thinking about divorce before the wedding date.

I don't think it is Biblical or anti-Biblical, but unless there is a very specific reason for the pre-nup, I'd wonder why my husband would want me to share my body when he isn't willing to share what is in his wallet/portfolio. JMO. I think the doubts should be worked out before the wedding date and marriage should be entered into without an exit plan. An exit plan means someone doesn't have to work on the marriage as hard.