“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” - Mark Twain-
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” - Oscar Wilde-
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” -George Carlin-
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” -Mark Twain-
“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.” - Mark Twain-
"I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: "Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together". -Mark Twain-
Note
Twain's prediction was accurate; he died of a heart attack on April 21, 1910, in Redding, Connecticut, one day after the comet's closest approach to Earth