.

Christgirl67 said:

Yeah allowing people to cuss me out and taking it is showing compassion right? Ok

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if you can't handle being kind to others while they abuse you when your livelihood (your living) depends on it, how do you expect to learn to deal with this:

"They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you." 1 Peter 4:5

when nothing in this life that you can see and touch depends on it?

I mean seriously... people will abuse you, and your job as a Christian is to show them the love of Christ...

If you can't do it (show kindness) to keep food on the table and a roof over your head, what do you think you can do it for?

this may be helpful to read

https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=23651


have to scroll down page to get to article
last paragraph of article includes:
"don't think it's possible to ignore anger" "it can be transformed, controlled, used" "it can be a tool" "anger can inspire art and anger fuels activism"

anger may fuel you to be more determined to not let people get to you or fuel you to look for another job

Christgirl67 said:

To clarify, I do not hang up when a customer first starts calling. I only hang up when I know the customer calling is a scammer, or if it's the end of the call and I have completed what the customer ask and they start cussing,that is when I hang up. I appreciate all the advice, but even if it is a job, I don't feel like I should have to be tolerant of people cussing at me. If I did what I had to do, and they still want to cuss me out, then I hang up the phone, I don't see anything wrong with that.

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Thanks for clarifying but for myself i knew from reading your OP that you didn't hang up at the start of a call. I don't know what sort of calls you are dealing with, I have done phone work, but not call-centre work. Do you have to ring people up or ring them back, or is it always people ringing you about things?

In my job we are allowed to give the customer a warning if they are being abusive that if they continue speaking in that way we will need to disconnect the call. so we can ask them not to, if they keep doing it warn them, then if they continue to speak abusively we can disconnect the call. all done politely and professionally. so really they are given every opportunity to behave in a decent manner. if the call is disconnected it is because they havent done that.
otherwise we are not allowed to disconnect calls.
it does help having that strategy.
I think sometimes people do just need to vent and i dont take that personally, usually just let them go and once they've run out of steam they usually apologise and say 'it's not you I'm angry at' and i can say 'i realise that dont worry, I would feel similar if that happened to me as well, I'm sorry that's happened, what we can do is... etc'. most people are just frustrated if something has gone wrong and need to let it out somewhere. and they just need to hear we are sorry and want to try and fix it or help etc, that is often enough for them to calm down.
But there are some people who no amount of listening and empathizing will pacify! some people just want to fight so those ones get a warning politely, then a disconnect.
I dont get too many grumpy customers though, thankfully so my job is mostly good customers, but we are encouraged to try and keep our customers especially the grumpies so I count it a win if I can turn around an unhappy customer and by the end of the call have them apologising for venting at me instead. with the ones that end up doing that I do like to make them feel ok about it because most people can get embarrassed at behaving badly so saying 'no problem we're here to try and help, I hope you have a good evening, thanks for calling, all the best, bye".
people only get really angry if they feel like they're being ignored or not listened to or whatever, if you can give them a listening ear, apologise for what has gone wrong and genuinely try and fix it or do something for them then that goes a long way.
Doesnt always work though but I do feel satisfied if I can turn a grumpy customer around.
it's not easy though. that's for sure!! hang in there!

dms1972 said:

Its really interesting you mentioned that, if the OP won't mind me going off topic slightly. For years I had heard of the four temperament types, four humors etc, which you mention. The other one being: sanguine. I know there are several classification systems, but I don't think I ever knew there was one that has these four temperaments with a fifth: supine (introvert/extrovert). I would not have been searching for these except for reading your post, so thanks for making mention.

But I want to ask for more info on this because I can't understand why I have not heard of it. In many ways I find supine descriptive of aspects of my temperament, even so I prolly am a mixed temperament, but without this classification I am at a loss to understand myself. I knew I was never merely an introvert, even though some seemed to peg me as that, but it annoyed to no end, because I enjoy and am outgoing and social in the right settings and with the right people and don't mind groups that much. Nobody tell me God understands me, I know that, the issue is in the workplace when one needs a boss who understands one's temperament, and these temperament type profiles are being used a lot in workplaces. Some I don't but a lot of stock in. The Jungian based one Myers Briggs is fairly popular, but as that was designed for placing women in industrial workplaces in the War due to so many men being drafted and taken away from those jobs, what is the application of it for say a modern office environment? Leaving that aside. The supine classification makes a lot of sense for me.

But what profiling tests score for it, what is its connection to the other four classical temperaments mentioned earlier, what humor does it correspond to? Can anyone help me find out more, cause I'd really like to know?

Sorry to sidetrack the thread a little.

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If I remember correctly what they taught us in psychology, its not like "I am a flegmatic, therefore I cannot be a choleric".

Your personality is a mixture of all these types, but you have different percentage of them, for example, you can have:
70% from melancholic
70% from flegmatic
30% from choleric
5% from sangvinik

- this mixture would make you a strong introvert, for example

I'm confused. Is this the type of call center where you are calling people out of the blue to market something, or is this a call center where they are calling you because of problems with services or merchandise? If they are calling you, you should be able to expect that they be polite. However, if you are calling them unannounced, I don't blame them if they are upset. I have never cussed at such a person, but I have hung up on them--I didn't ask them to call me and interrupt what I'm doing.

myst33 said:

If I remember correctly what they taught us in psychology, its not like "I am a flegmatic, therefore I cannot be a choleric".

Your personality is a mixture of all these types, but you have different percentage of them, for example, you can have:
70% from melancholic
70% from flegmatic
30% from choleric
5% from sangvinik

- this mixture would make you a strong introvert, for example

Click to expand...

Yes, I understand that based on the philosophy behind this about the four bodily humors

Four Humors - And there's the humor of it: Shakespeare and the four humors

everyone would have some measure of each but one or two predominate. But supine isn't based on any of the humors (fluids), and isn't scored for in most of the tests based on humorism. From what I can glean its like a new addition to some temperment profiling instruments, but has nothing from what I can tell to do with Humorism.

Here is some more about it I found in an online search:

APS Temperament Report - DayStar Ministries

Christgirl67 said:

To clarify, I do not hang up when a customer first starts calling. I only hang up when I know the customer calling is a scammer, or if it's the end of the call and I have completed what the customer ask and they start cussing,that is when I hang up. I appreciate all the advice, but even if it is a job, I don't feel like I should have to be tolerant of people cussing at me. If I did what I had to do, and they still want to cuss me out, then I hang up the phone, I don't see anything wrong with that.

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If it is a scammer then sure, it all leads to a drop. However, in response to the rest you've said; no matter what you feel, it is your bills that tell you that you have to suck it up.

If you can get another job that's fine but also realize that every job will force you to deal with toxic people. The good thing with Call Centers on the other hand (depending on the size and service) is that you aren't face to face with this person and you'll likely never put up with that caller ever again. This is different in other office settings in where the customer, office mate, boss is up in your face and the later you will see everyday.

Also, if you think this is bad wait till you become a parent in where you are completely forced to deal with 10x bigger pains in the rear once they reach their teen age. What you are feeling and your dislike for it is normal, but that is life. You can't escape death, taxes, and people who will drive you nuts.

Archivist said:

If they are calling you, you should be able to expect they be polite

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Not necessarily.

Put a fraud protection hold on someone's credit card when they have 100,000 dollars in checking and see how happy they are when they call to remove the hold because they were on a mini shopping spree..

Have someone's cable go out in the middle of the big game, when they pay good money every month in a timely manner, and see how happy they are when they call..

Most of the calls you get in a call center are due to problems they are having with a service.. and people who cuss when they are happy can sound worse than any sailor when angry..

It's a matter of deescalating the situation and fixing their issues in order to keep their business through a bad situation... hanging up on people doesn't do that..

certainly, the type of call center makes a difference, but most call centers are hired by large corporations people do business with every day.. your credit card/banking issues, phone service, cable, all go through call centers in most cases..

myst33 said:

If I remember correctly what they taught us in psychology, its not like "I am a flegmatic, therefore I cannot be a choleric".

Your personality is a mixture of all these types, but you have different percentage of them, for example, you can have:
70% from melancholic
70% from flegmatic
30% from choleric
5% from sangvinik

- this mixture would make you a strong introvert, for example

Click to expand...

That is completely ridiculous. No one needs to put up with abuse like that. And judging a person like that is equally ridiculous.

This does happen when dealing with customers. Whether in a call center or face-to-face, we do get frustrated .... and we wish we had a trapdoor and a button. Psychology doesn't help.

All good things
Emmy

Hazelelponi said:

Not necessarily.

Put a fraud protection hold on someone's credit card when they have 100,000 dollars in checking and see how happy they are when they call to remove the hold because they were on a mini shopping spree..

Have someone's cable go out in the middle of the big game, when they pay good money every month in a timely manner, and see how happy they are when they call..

Most of the calls you get in a call center are due to problems they are having with a service.. and people who cuss when they are happy can sound worse than any sailor when angry..

It's a matter of deescalating the situation and fixing their issues in order to keep their business through a bad situation... hanging up on people doesn't do that..

certainly, the type of call center makes a difference, but most call centers are hired by large corporations people do business with every day.. your credit card/banking issues, phone service, cable, all go through call centers in most cases..

Click to expand...

I'm always polite in the situations you mentioned, because that problem isn't the fault of the person on the phone. Unfortunately it appears that not everyone shares my view.

If someone is calling me to try to sell something, that is a different. As I said, I hang up on those folks rather quickly.

Christgirl67 said:

Hello all. I have a hard time dealing with people when they are mean and rude to me. I get upset whenever I feel that someone is upset with me. I just recently started a call center job, and I have gotten cussed at and talk to any kind of way, and I just tend to hang up when customers starts cussing. I am just losing my tolerance with people who act like that. Is this normal, I do I need to build up my tolerance? Its just this happens to me all the time, and I have had enough of it this year.

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Welcome to my world.

My view is this: Not everybody is a people-person. Most of the time, I have no idea what to say in social situations. In professional situations, incompetence drives me up the wall. I avoid most of my co-workers because I have absolutely no respect for them.

It's always been this way. Back in school, I always resented that team crap that teachers are always trying to get you to do. I work best in a team of one.

There's nothing wrong with me. And I don't think there's anything wrong with you either. Some people are naturally energetic, sociable, charismatic extroverts. Others are not. Don't try forcing yourself into a box.

As to the call center thing, yeah. Been there. The stories I could tell you...

Anyway. The reality is that a call center job might not be the best use of your strengths and intelligence. It may be that you need to find employment that's more worthy of you and your labor. I was lucky enough to find a job where I can be a team of one and not have to put up with co-workers and their inane questions very much.

It's a relief, I must say.

Good luck!

I work as a supervisor in a nice gated community.

I love it when they call us, yelling, "Get this snake out of my garage!!" Or "There's bears on my porch! Come get them away!!"

Not happening. We don't deal with wildlife. We aren't trained in that, don't need to be, and that is not part of our job.

I really don't need my obituary including I A) got bitten by a poisonous snake and crapped out and died in their garage, or B) got eaten by bears on their porch.

I'd rather go out to be remembered as a good person and a good wife.

I do lose my patience but never let it show. That's the hard part of completely losing patience but never let it show. Be nice, be kind, hang in there with whatever issues, then when you get home after dealing with all the mess, help yourself to junk food, read your Bible, and then watch nice stuff on YouTube and Netflix.

It works for me.

All good things
Emmy

Over the course of many years I have worked on trying to make sure that I am treating people in a manner that Honors God. For most of my life I have been terrible at this. Since I was saved I have very gradually made progress. Now I'm to the point where I generally have mild reactions when people lose their cool. I think about how stressful their lives must be, how they could be going through truly terrible things and that is what is making them act this way. I guess these thoughts help me to focus on them and not worry about how they are treating me.

It's definitely a process. I have recently started focusing on the idea of being a "bond servant" of Christ, on what that means and how I might apply it to my interactions with people. It gives me great patience, because my focus is on trying to shine the light of the Lord in every situation I am in. I fail pretty consistently, but the effort makes me feel closer to God.

I am sure the Lord will use this experience to draw you closer to him and teach you something He needs you to know. God bless you!

I don't want to get into a debate with other posters as this is Advice not a debate thread.

I would say first of all to the OP its commendable her working her way through college.

Secondly Temperament does come into suitablilty for some even many jobs, and that is temperament not personality type. Temperament is different from persona , and character.

Having some mental skills to keep at a distance, and filter out anything rude a person may say on the phone is important. The caller doesn't know you, and so pretty much dismiss any rude remarks they make.

I would be somewhat the same if someone started to swear or cuss at me. You could try and defuse things if you can tell what has annoyed them, if they have been waiting in a queue for instance, by explaining briefly if its busier the usual, and apolgising, But if they keep on cussing, I think you do need to say firmly something along the lines of:

"staff are here to assist you with your query - not to take abuse, if you tell me the reason of your call then we can see if we can help you, otherwise i'll have to end the call. If you want you can call back and speak to another operator."

Is it an inbound or outbound call centre ?

If inbound / customer service, consider that the customer has problems in other areas of their life that they're unable to cope with, hence unable to control themselves and are lashing out at you as a knee-jerk reaction, to what's probably a minor frustration.

Watch this to help you understand / empathise / pity them:
School of Life, Why we can love anyone.

[EDIT] Actually, I'm one of the difficult customers because whenever I'm talking to billers is when they've nefariously added fees and services to my account, that I certainly never use... E.g. If I order 1 item, I'm charged for 1.5 items. Frustratingly, every company does this. Kleptocracy is a major problem in capitalism right now.

Outbound is more complicated. - It depends how you have to sell, the product, and the system your boss has in place. Remembering to love your neighbour as yourself, and do what is right by them and your company, avoiding all lying, wickedness, and appearance of evil as Scripture commands.

• "Abstain from all appearance of evil." (1 Thes. 5:22)
  
• "Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men." (Pro. 4:14)

However, assuming you have no dependents, etc, and can afford to not work for a while, I recommend you get out ASAP while you can:

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful." (Ps. 1:1)

I'm nor sure about your part of the states, but assuming it's like Sydney, here people tend to chase after high wages, not necessarily working out of necessity for food and shelter but rather for wealth and status. - The world likes to see people enslaved, working 2 jobs etc, working whilst studying, etc, sadistically. However, do remember that a believer follows and trusts in Christ, depending on God to provide, not the world. Although admittedly that seems impossible at times.

Paul said, "Having food and raiment let us be therewith content. But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. (1 Tim. 6:8-10)

Blessings