The "Gift" of Singleness.

No, I don't think God forces anyone to be single forever if that is not their deep desire . If you know you would like to marry but are currently single, then use that time to become someone who would be a good spouse , learn to recognize people who would also be a good spouse, and make yourself available and open to being asked out or asking someone else out. Learn good communication skills; this will only serve you well in relationships and marriage in the future .

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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God don’t grant just based on your feelings. It have to be according to His will. He doesn’t force anyone to do anything, but everything have its consequence. There’s equal consequence whether someone stay single or wed. If your heart ain’t right, then it doesn’t matter what He would give you or what you end up doing.

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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Goodness

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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Have you ever thought, no debates here, just a thought, that maybe the problem is not God, its the person who wishes not to be alone?

There is a guy on you tube who is disabled and has a disease and has one of the most beautiful women who is his wife.

I was afraid of women as a kid, but when I learned not to be afraid, i was never single.

I am alone now on purpose, its lonely but i choose it for a reason.

If that person went out and asked 100 people out on a date a month, that person would be married the next week if they choose.

Go out, meet people. introduce your self to many people.

Ask some of them out on a date, be your self and be kind and giving and helpful.

If a person is alone, if it is not fear that holds them back, its because they wish to be alone.

Why does every one blame God and not look at them self.

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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I doubt whether being in a relationship is all that it is made out to be. Though the grass is always greener or seems to be much greener, on the other side of that fence.

I have asked a lot of men over the years whether they would get married again, if they went through life a second time. At least half of them had said that they would never get married again. Some even started whinging about their broken relationships and what their former partner had done to them.

Most of the men declared their love for their children but almost none of them, even mentioned their love for their wives.

I believe that it is possible to find a near perfect match in a relationship, but it seems that not many people are ever that fortunate.

The bottom line is that marriage is a work in progress, a relationship requires constant attention, constant love, constant care. You can never, ever, be selfish in a relationship.

You have been warned.

There is a up side....GOD becomes everything to you. I have 2 friends (girls) they are very happy. But our GOD is our Father. So... talk to Him.. but KNOW He hears you. My wifes faith was week.. So I prayed..I wanted Him to show her something. I told Him.. you knew I was going to ask this..so you could have everything already in place. <---in all my years I have never prayed like that.. silly.. but knowing .. He knows already.. and what I prayed.. happen exactly as I asked. Wasnt for me..

Point is.. KNOW that HE KNOWS already.. and be it like some say.. APP or just at home computer....your FATHER HAS been working already just believe. To just totally believe trust in Him..what you would you do for your very best friend or parents.. how much more will your Father open ANY door.

A old Carmon Song comes to mind
"Your desire is the confirmation the destination is there
God wouldn't put it in your spirit if it wasn't going nowhere
So set your sights on the promises and don't you be scared
'Cause your desire is the confirmation the destination is there"

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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If you have to ask that question with all the negatives: "hate, venomous, torture, bitterness, rage", etc., you don't know God at all. He doesn't force you to believe in Him.
A committed unmarried, celibate Christian is able to serve the LORD with a joyful attitude, not grudgingly. The Bible says, if you can't control your sexual passion, get married. Those who find themselves without the desire for intimate relationships of the opposite sex and have more a serving desire to love and help others are by nature more likely to willingly remain celibate.
"... It is good for a man not to marry." 1 Cor. 7:1 Women are beautiful and most men are passionate about having a relationship. I can have both as many pastors do. Catholic priests take that vow but not all have been able to control that passion.
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Cor. 7:8
"I would like you to be free from concern. an unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife and his interests are divided." 1 Cor. 7:32, 33

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.' Matt. 11:29, 30

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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If you have to ask that question with all the negatives: "hate, venomous, torture, bitterness, rage", etc., you don't know God at all. He doesn't force you to believe in Him. We are in agreement with His plan for us, He doesn't force you to do anything. With certain people, He firmly directed their paths like Saul who became Paul after He blinded him for three days to get his attention. He said, OK I'll do whatever you say, but Paul was honored and glad to abide in Him once he realized he was chosen for a special mission.
A committed unmarried, celibate Christian is able to serve the LORD with a joyful attitude, not grudgingly. The Bible says, if you can't control your sexual passion, get married. Those who find themselves without the desire for intimate relationships of the opposite sex and have more a serving desire to love and help others are by nature more likely to willingly remain celibate.
"... It is good for a man not to marry." 1 Cor. 7:1 Women are beautiful and most men are passionate about having a relationship. I can have both as many pastors do. Catholic priests take that vow but not all have been able to control that passion.
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Cor. 7:8
"I would like you to be free from concern. an unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife and his interests are divided." 1 Cor. 7:32, 33

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.' Matt. 11:29, 30

there's the "gift of singleness" and then there's the 'predicament of singleness'.

one is actually a gift while the other is merely a circumstance.

person: " Are you married? "

me: "No"

person: " How come? "

me: "BECAUSE GOD WANTS ME TO SUFFER!"


^That's kinda the way I feel, but I've just learned to accept it now

If the Lord wanted me to be married, I'm sure He'd put someone in my life. In heaven there will be no marriage as we will all be married to Christ. Mark 12:25

If we are single, that means God probably expects us to serve Him more, and we should be pursuing any open windows He opens, and knocking down any doors of opportunity that present themselves. 1 Corinthians 7:26-28 1 Corinthians 7:33-35

We should also get to gloat that we ran the race on earth solo with only the Lord as a helpmeet. If I had a significant other and my life was so content, would that make me yearn for more of God or would I be satisfied enough with that other person? Would my first love be as kindled? perhaps not.

In any case, be strong, seek your calling in the meantime and let Him worry about a spouse. God bless.

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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I personally do not believe that 'singleness' is a gift.......It is a choice. Yes, some find it harder to find a spouse than others....but there will always be someone that will find anyone, beautiful.

There are some who can do a lot for the Lord only if they are single.....There are also those who can do even greater things for the Lord while raising a family....in fact, it is only those who raise families successfully who are proven able to Lead the house of God.

Yet there is no fault in singleness or non-singleness......Let even man choose which one they would like to be and not feel that they are more holier than another because of the choice they have made...

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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If "yes, he forces this" is he a good/holy/loving father as to how the Bible says?

friend of said:

I'm sure He'd put someone in my life

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No, you would go out and find some one to marry, he gave you the free will to go out and choose some one for your self, what a great freedom we have.

aspie3000 said:

I just wish for you and everyone to know that I have not been told by God that this is my fate. I very much fear it though. I am always afraid that God is going to screw me over. The last time this happened God said that he gave me this desire for marriage but that Satan uses this desire to attack me. I know I should submit to anything God has planned and probably take what was said as a promise but I am frightened and the doubts torment me until I do something sinful and stupid and I cannot connect with God because of my fear. I should know better but the doubts nag me horribly. The other day I was connected with and on very good terms with God putting him first but then something happened and the fear came back and now I'm in a bad place. I don't know how to deal with this; I want to not worry about this, trust his promise and follow him first as I was doing but now I have resentment again.

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I understand the doubts and fear as I have experienced them myself. But we serve One who is greater than all of that. God tells us to not be anxious, but to seek His kingdom first and all things will be added to you.

Remember Christ in His temptation by the devil and seek His strength whenever you feel those doubts and fearful thoughts creep into your heart. He is always faithful to give His strength to those who are weak. Even His disciples experienced doubt and fear, so we are not alone in our struggle. That should only encourage us to further seek Him and be strengthened in our faith.

Pray always and be thankful. God is preparing you for something greater.

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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Never in a million years did I ever think that I would be married. I had kept asking God for a wife and it seemed like it would never come. I didn't end up getting married until I was almost in my 30s. But if God has a wife planned for you trust me you will meet her. I met mine on a message board (not CF although my wife is a member here) back in 2014. But like I said I had pretty much given up on finding a wife because I was almost 30 years old. I'm now close to my mid 30s. Mow I am waiting to be blessed by God with a child. It has been several years now and no baby. I'm almost ready to give up on that too.


Anyway high odds are you will meet your wife too. It just takes Gods perfect timing for you to meet her. Keep praying and having faith and God will bless you.

Some people don’t how bless they are.

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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You have received many excellent responses so already, so I will just add a few verses to never forget when you become tempted to suspect that God is forbidding you from marriage:

"Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth." (1 Timothy 4:1-3)

It can't be more clear than that. If you feel convicted about sexual sin or considering marriage to an unbeliever, the Holy Spirit would certainly be behind that. If you feel that God is forbidding you from marrying altogether, the Holy Spirit is certainly not the source. I want you to notice that it is the Spirit who expressly says that this is a doctrine of demons that can only be propagated by hypocritical liars. The Holy Spirit would not express to you something that He expressly says is of demons and liars.

Therefore, you can be certain that God wants you to marry if you desire to do so, and only to do so within the Body of Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). Anything else is demonic and heresy. Do NOT believe it, and receive it with thanksgiving as one who knows this truth and enjoy the peace of God.

Jesus was not married for his mission was dangerous and he was going to die young. He was of more use remaining single than those who could not take risks for they had to support a wife and children. Not all who are single are willing to withstand persecution for following Jesus either.

Marriage is vital for procreation and the continuation of human life. It is a blessing to be married in the name of God.

A few married in order to share their lives and possessions without producing children.

The global population is growing about 82 million a year. Not all these marriages were ordained by God. Many failed in marriage. That is why there is sin in the world. Many suffer poverty and hunger while others are obese and suffer clogged arteries leading to coronary artery disease. vascular dementia, type 2 diabetes, peripheral artery disease and death.

A person should seek God's will whether married or single.

Some are deformed and of bad character and should not attempt to produce children.

aspie3000 said:

I have a question about the gift on singleness. If someone with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength loathes the very idea of being without a spouse from the blackest and most heartfelt depths of their soul, will God force them to be single their entire life? Will God give that person the gift of singleness though they hate it with a venomous hatred that cannot be put into words that would do it justice in the English language? Would God force this upon someone even though it would mean psychologically torturing them and will leave them with bitterness and rage toward God that will cause them to be unable to follow him in any functional effective manner? Would God do this even though it would severely damage the relationship between him and this person and possibly damn him in the end?

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If someone were to feel the way you describe, then it doesn't sound like much of a "gift" to me.

I'm also not so sure that a "gift of singleness" is really in view in 1 Cor 7 (the key passage typically used). Paul seems to be talking about celibacy, which isn't identical with singleness. I can't help but read that passage and think Paul is saying that it's better to be celibate, but because human nature is what it is, then each person should have relations with their own husband or wife. And if the unmarried can't control their impulses then they should get married. But his view seems to include stipulations for avoiding sexual relations even for the married (7:5) though he makes a "concession" for the married to have sexual relations (7:6)

So, I don't think there is really anything such as a "gift of singleness." I think Paul makes a sort of recommendation to celibacy, but allows for sexual relations between husband and wife (while at times committing to a temporary agreement of abstaining from sex and use that time for prayer) as a concession if one cannot commit to celibacy.

ref: https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/9351/b65e76f94cff0222f62d1e8b1d9543098dd7.pdf