Thank you for responding. She doesn't want help with necessities, I have tried that. I did pay her car off which freed her up 800 dollars a month, that was 2 months ago. She is back in debt. I had come to peace that I wasn't going to continue this cycle with her. I cant even honor what my aunt wanted. I would rather give it all to charity. I talk with my mother everyday, cause I feel the need to. She in returns though makes me feel ashamed, like I am doing something very wrong. She has gone to lengths to tell me the money is cursed, I better watch myself. I know better than that. Her and her sister hated each other, and it was all over money. I cant tell you how I have struggled with this, and why oh why was I put in this position with my family. I do not spend any of my aunts money on myself, and probably never will. She has made me fill so horrible. Thank you so much for your prayers, I do pray over this everyday.
Sounds like the truth is ... she is irresponsible with money.
So, you have already go beyond what your aunt wanted ... and actually that is ok and I think a good choice on your part. Unless specifically directed by a written will making it a lawful issue, then what one receives is theirs and what they do with it is their business. You aunt wanted you to have what you have, so if you do want or need to use some it, don't at all feel bad about that.
As far as your mother goes .... it's not her money , it wasn't left to her. Difficult for her to accept evidentially.
So, just like a lot of us do, we make choices about how we spend. If you want to help her with something then do so with a happy heart (even if she is ungrateful about it). If you decide not to help her with something, don't let it hurt your heart, nor feel guilty about it. We are to give with a happy heart expecting nothing in return.
It is difficult, but basically, ignore her bad attitude and bad remarks about it, because it is her attitude and she owns it, and the attitude sounds like it always has been, so deeply engrained.
Needs and wants .... in helping her, or anyone for that matter, decide and be happy about it. Don't fall subject to "gift remorse". A gift is a gift, nothing expected in return. So if the gift is cash ... then it is her gift to spend however she wants. If the gift is not cash then she can accept it, use it, return it, grumble about it or whatever she wants to do with it as well.
Praying the Lord will help your mom to have a better attitude.
ATTITUDE
by
Charles Swindoll
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is ... we are in charge of our Attitudes”
God Bless.