I need to forgive...

Mel333

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Sometimes i get jealous of other people with spirit filled christian parents. I didnt, and have a lot to forgive them of. Im a strong beleiver but i need to forgive my parents. Any similar situations with anyone?

At first yes.

Takes a while to forgive. I just kept praying about it and asking God for help to forgive them as we are called to honour our parents...

Which is a hard thing to do when our parents aren't the parents we wish they were.
 
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Reborn1977

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Sometimes i get jealous of other people with spirit filled christian parents. I didnt, and have a lot to forgive them of. Im a strong beleiver but i need to forgive my parents. Any similar situations with anyone?

Let me share something with you now that often takes years of living and wisdom to figure out.

We may not have had the type of parents we wanted, needed or should have had, we may not be the type of parents we wanted to be, need to be, or should have been but parent's do parent about as well as they have the knowledge and ability to do so at any given time. Parents rarely parent badly simply because they want to, in that moment that is the best person they have to offer - we as people tend to act in accordance with what we believe we can be or are capable of at the time thus we should all have more mercy and grace for one another.
 
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KimmyO

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No body's got it all together, some are just better than others and keeping things tidy in public. I had Christian parents but lived also with sexual abuse and no one knew. Everyone has their problems, we are all just broken people doing the best we can with God's help and His mercy when we fall. I understand tho, been there, wanted different/better parents, but in the end I am stronger than many who had decent parenting and it has helped me and allowed me to help others. Use what you've been thru to minister to like minded people, God wants you to help those who are going thru what you did. It will bless and help you too. I am sorry you had do grow up in tough environment, but you are strong and times will get better if you follow after Christ and his leading. <3
 
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The Sun

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Let me share something with you now that often takes years of living and wisdom to figure out.

We may not have had the type of parents we wanted, needed or should have had, we may not be the type of parents we wanted to be, need to be, or should have been but parent's do parent about as well as they have the knowledge and ability to do so at any given time. Parents rarely parent badly simply because they want to, in that moment that is the best person they have to offer - we as people tend to act in accordance with what we believe we can be or are capable of at the time thus we should all have more mercy and grace for one another.
Thankyou, good words
 
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The Sun

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No body's got it all together, some are just better than others and keeping things tidy in public. I had Christian parents but lived also with sexual abuse and no one knew. Everyone has their problems, we are all just broken people doing the best we can with God's help and His mercy when we fall. I understand tho, been there, wanted different/better parents, but in the end I am stronger than many who had decent parenting and it has helped me and allowed me to help others. Use what you've been thru to minister to like minded people, God wants you to help those who are going thru what you did. It will bless and help you too. I am sorry you had do grow up in tough environment, but you are strong and times will get better if you follow after Christ and his leading. <3
yes, I can minister to the broken, god bless you...and i just needed a reminder
 
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MiggyTig

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Dear Sun,

My name is Miggy and I'm new to this board. Your feelings break my heart because I experienced the same thing with my father.

The fight we had when I was 18 was horrendous and I still have a physical defect to this day. I could never forgive him. This anger lasted in me for over 20 years, even though we went through the motions on the occasional of times we saw each other over those two decades.

Even though I was enjoying a successful life during those years (including Christianity) I always carried that incident in my life and wouldn't budge one iota towards forgiveness of him.

One evening as I was praying to God I just broke down and began weeping. "God, WHY can't I forgive him after all of these years? Why can't I just let it go?

I was flooded by a feeling of this:

"Miggy, your dad is living 1,000 miles away. Night after night you carry this burden with you in your heart. His life has gone on and he has lived happily the past 20 years, never thinking about this incident."

I heard God telling me, "The reason you must forgive is not to satisfy your father but to improve the quality of your SELF."

Even then I remember arguing with God, "I can't do it. He was wrong. I shouldn't have to do this!"

At the end of a very long prayer I finally told God sincerely, "Ok. I forgive him. I forgive him. I forgive him. I forgive him....." I must have sobbed for hours but when it was all over it was as though a ton of bricks had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt freer than I had in those 20 years. I'm certain my father in bed miles away was sleeping comfortably and none the wiser. It was ME who was changed by the experience.

If Jesus could do this- and most importantly teach us that WE should do this- there is a very good reason to do so. It's kind of like that Christmas cartoon where the Grinch's heart grew 10 sizes larger that day.

That's what forgiving others will do for you. It will free you up like you won't believe. It's truly one of our Lord's best teachings.

Best of luck with your healing, Miggy
 
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bèlla

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Objectivity and maturity are important when addressing parental wrongs and the harm you’ve endured. The goal is to gauge the experiences as that. Bad things that took place as opposed to lifelong sentences of dysfunction and brokenness.

You must forego the comfort of recollection and the heaviness of reliving painful events in exchange for the peace you’ve gained with God.

It isn’t your responsibility to fix them or yourself for that matter. It’s your duty to admit the situation is too big for you and you need God’s help.

I took Paul’s words to heart... forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. The past can become a malicious jailer if you continue looking back.

Letting go and moving forward is the solution.
 
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HappyHope

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I'm sorry for your struggle. You are not alone. My husband and I didn't exactly have wholesome Christian parents and we've mourned the loss off and on for years. On the flip side, we are in a better position to help many people with less than desirable backgrounds.

Sometimes it takes one to know one. I pray you will use your background as a stepping stool for personal ministry in some way. Perhaps less focus on what you lost by not having spirit-filled Christian parents and more focus on what you now have to offer as you are.

The best ministers in hard-to-reach people groups are hands-down the natives converts. Foreign missionaries are good but native ministers know how to reach the natives best. I bet you can connect some people to the love of Jesus that Christians with spirit-filled Christian parents could not. Use this. I pray the Lord will be with you on your forgiveness journey.
 
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Tzav

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Sometimes i get jealous of other people with spirit filled christian parents. I didnt, and have a lot to forgive them of. Im a strong beleiver but i need to forgive my parents. Any similar situations with anyone?

So I am a sickly little old lady now, and when I go to my place of worship, I go with a cart I can push. It carries my Bible, my siddur, purse, pen and paper, a drink, hand sanitizer . . . . and a little desk. And Velcroed to the corner of the desk is a tiny book I titled "Mother."

That little book is around a couple years old, and when I think of something nice that Mother did, I make a note of it in the book. Many days, even weeks, go by without my writing in the book, but yesterday, I wrote in it, "When we moved (from far-northern California) to Mississippi, it was miserably hot, and the mosquitoes were thick. She taught us to wipe ourselves down . . . , when going to bed, with rubbing alcohol, to cool ourselves and to send the mosquitioes away."

The first entry in my little book is "Mother married Father." Another couple entries are, "She carried me to birth" and "She let me live." The Sun, there were times when I didn't think I was going to live through her beatings, and I hated her for decades.

But the day came when I decided to make the little book, in order to stimulate love for her. As a believer, I knew I needed to love her, although both she and Father have been dead for years. The book has helped. Tremendously. But it is our G_D Who has brought me this far.

I am now 70 years old, and I'm still working on this. Don't let that discourage you: I refused to work on it for years, while you are working on it NOW! But today, I can honestly say that G_D has changed my heart toward her, has shown me many reasons to love her, including His love for me and His Commands. I am SO THERE!!! I am so there!

G_D can work miracles! He is GOOD. His interest in you is profound, and He wants your success.

(The Sun, when I was in their home, we were a church-going family, Father was a preacher, Mother a Sunday school teacher, etc., but none of this helped. It takes actually knowing G_D! :))
 
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