I am so discouraged. "How can my husband be so blessed and talented and yes, anointed yet at home for years he calls me dumb stupid etc..."
He says I am not trying hard enough, not using my head.
He says not to go against God's anointing.
Today I failed Jesus. I got super angry and swore.
I am tired of being called stupid, dumb idiot., he says I never amounted to anything and that I have nothing to show for all my years. That I do nothing.
He keeps saying people at church think I am dumb too.
He texted me a month ago the following - - "That is my lot, spending my life with someone who doesn't get things. My fault for picking you.
I will NEVER be responsible for your lack of education, wisdom and excellence. Those mediocre attributes are yours and yours alone."
He told me that there are 5 types of people and the kind of person i am, he has to use the rod of discipline to beat the stupidity out of me.
I was super angry today because I have been having back pain and there he goes saying that I need to clean the floor by bending over and picking up any pieces, but bending over is difficult right now. And he's called me dumb, idiot. He wanted a particular kind of meat at a restaurant and I thought it was ok the one I bought but it turned out to be the wrong one. He called me names because of that saying I should have known. This is the second time I picked up from there.
He got a little rough by putting his hand underneath my chin hard and then downstairs too when he pushed me but he says he was just pushing me out of the way.
I told him to keep his "beeping" hands to himself. Not my greatest moment, I sinned bad.
I told him I don't want him to call me names anymore but he said he won't call me names if I don't do anything stupid. I toldhhim calling me names is not normal.
Sunday I realised that he doesn't call me names at church because he knows no one would agree with it so instead he calls me by endearments instead.
He says I am demon possessed, angel of light coming against the man of God. He has said I was not saved. He said today if I left him I probably would go for a woman - which is so very much not true.
I used to spend so much time with the Lord every day when I was single but now it's so hard. I tried praying tonight but I didn't feel much. So then I tried worshipping and it just wasn't the same.
Could the Lord be angry with me?
I am not happy at all. I thought marrying him was the Lord's Will. But from the beginning he was impatient with me and after 4 months the name calling began.
He even said he should not have married me.
To be fair, I was not the neatest or most organized person and he's super neat, but I have worked hard and he even said a few days ago that I have improved.
It's not always this bad. Just a few days ago he said I have improved and he appreciated the things that I take care of at home that he doesn't have to worry about. He sometimes says things like he's proud of me or proud that I am his wife. And during those times it's great as long as I don't mess it up, by dropping something by accident or saying something I know he won't like
But when I mess up its the names again, dumb stupid or idiot.
He says it's normal that married couples fight.
I did call him a fake Christian that thinks because of all the work he does for the Lord, that he is ok.
He even said something like, not exact words, but something along the lines of since what he does at church goes so well, the Lord must be pleased with him
Can the Lord be angry with me or not pleased because I don't keep my mouth shut all the time? I do ignore many things, even cutting remarks at times, but sometimes I just can't take it and respond back in anger.
Before being saved I dated men, one for a long time and he never called me names. I get married to a Christian and I am called names,put down, pushed around .... What's going on???
The first problem I see is this statement, "How can my husband be so blessed and talented and yes, anointed yet at home for years he calls me dumb stupid etc..."
No man is anointed who calls his wife those names. The Holy Spirit within a person, if he is indeed dwelling in him, convicts those of doing so and if he has never asked your forgiveness for verbally abusing you, he cannot be anointed of God. That is first thing you need to realize. I cannot speak to normal talents people have, believers in God or atheists. I cannot speak to how materially blessed he is. If he is blessed with friends it is likely because he is somewhat of an actor, one face to the crowd, his real feelings and thoughts wear a different face, obviously.
Now you need to know that answers to his prayers, according to the Bible, will be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and
treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Secondly, "Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth" tells us that the church is not expected to be full of highly intelligent men and women but people who believe. Jesus actually said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children." So stop accepting the judgement your husband has pronounced upon you as truth.
What do you need to do? You need to recognize that he is sinning big time and forgive him. I would pray for God to show him his sin as well. This can only be done if you recognize that he is sinned by treating you like that and then forgiven.
Now I would guess that his life is now not what he would like to be for some reason. I cannot know if he wants a different wife and is frustrated he cannot have her. I do not know if he would like some kind of job or ministry where people admired him. Whatever it is that he wants and is not getting, he seems to be blaming you. This happens in people. In a moment where things are going better between you, like a nice dinner or evening together, I would ask him what his dreams are for himself, what he wished were different in his life. It would help him (and you) for him to say out loud what his frustration point is. When we can put our feelings into words, we have a better grasp on them instead of them having a grasp on us.
