When you realize you are at the end

Andrew77

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Well Andrew I can relate to this from my own life so this is not a unique case.

Only ever worked low paying jobs, dropped out of college, not really achieved anything. Don't have any reliable friends.....it just goes on.

I don't think you are in need of therapy like some have suggested. Perhaps to well off and comfortable people cases like these may seem absurd but it's just the struggles and consequences of being working class in money driven western nations.

Although I don't have much money at the moment I'm still trying to think about alms and charitable work. Maybe that could help improve your mind set and open up new doors. Rather than being self serving and reflecting on all the screw ups we made and chances we missed, shift the focus on self sacrifice and charity. This is what God commands so we know it's the righteous path to take.

You also mentioned about being grateful for your job. Yes, just being content with what is keeps us balanced and greed or excess at arms length.

All our commentary here is well meaning but you know the one who can really bring you peace of mind.

God bless

Well of course I tithe to the church, and give some money to the poor out of every check. That goes without saying. That's just part of being a Christian.

I'm not sure what you mean by money driven western nations. Every nation is money driven. That's why you need to a skill or ability that earns you a good income.

If you don't have it... then you don't have it. That's why I tried to learn a trade skill. Just can't do it.

I've worked at the homeless shelter, and food pantry. Those are all good things, and I'm sure some people are helped. Still doesn't change the dread of waking up in the morning, knowing I have to go to this garbage place, and do this work for the next 8 hours.

For what? So that I can spend the rest of my life, just scraping by of course..... but for what? Why bother with this existence? So that I can work hard.... to what? Continue working hard?

What is being content? Happiness without hope? Sitting here imagining the next 40 years, doing this job over and over, until I die? That's contentment? Hard to relate to that. And maybe that's my big problem. Maybe I should just sit here in a Forest Gump like empty headed happiness. Get up, go to work, go home, sleep, get up, go to work, go home go to sleep.... and somehow plaster on a prefabricated smile, like I have a mask on all day.

Just hard to relate to that. More power and admiration to those who can do it.
 
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Andrew77

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You have my sympathy. My understanding is that your state is a pretty big challenge right now when it comes to finding decent employment.

Keep at it. You never know when the worm might turn.

On the other hand, it might be time to play hardball. A friend of mine was in a very similar position. He couldn't even get an interview in spite of his solid resumé.

So he began lying on job apps.

His claim was that he's part Hispanic. He probably filled out something like 30 job applications after that. And he got something like 26 callbacks and scheduled five interviews that I know about. He eventually settled into a fairly comfortable position with fairly comfortable pay.

When I asked him about it, he said that he won't get challenged about his lie. But if he does, he'll simply demand that his accuser prove that his (deceased) grandmother wasn't Hispanic. So far though, it's never been an issue even though he lives up to the blonde hair/blue eye stereotype.

I'm not advocating anything here. Just telling a story.

It's true.

I somewhat lied on a resume years ago. I regretted it, and said I'll never lie on a resume again. But yeah, lying does get you a job for sure.

In my case, I said I had experience in something that honestly, I really didn't.

I've heard that Ohio is an employment paradise if you have the right skills. We have Amazon, Verizon, IBM, Microsoft, several large banks, big research firms, and the list goes on. And most of these places have dozens of open positions.

Problem is, they look at my resume, and delete. And I don't blame them really. I have a checkered if anything, resume, with little in the way of a career path, or education or training, or certification.

The only certifications I have a shot at, would be ones that would qualify me only to stay right where I am.... which defeats the purpose.
 
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Pavel Mosko

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So I put my resume out, and got offered a job standing on my feet 8 hours straight, picking up 50 lbs boxes, for $11/hours. That's what I'm offered after months of looking. 20 years of experience. 41 years old. A pay cut, and miserable working conditions.

I'm in a similar place as you albeit I'm employed. I have a BA and completed most of a masters in counseling psychology (and a little more in Seminary), but was not able to finish my masters due to tanking in a statistics class! But the end result is the same as far as "close but no cigar" which often is about the same as not even being close. I am working security and intend to give driving an Uber and Lift a try the next time I have a work site close down.

As hard as it is, and the temptation to be pessimistic I think we need to encourage ourselves in the faith as best we can. Every once in a while, in my circumstances it seems I can see the hand of God at work and that gives me hope.


Reminds me of a joke I once saw "Perhaps the purpose of your life is to serve of a warning to others."

Jokes aside I did see a great sermon on the benefits of having these experiences. Even with the best planning people often cannot escape these situations and often they can be part of God's plan. But coming though them does give you away to minister to other people you meet who have similar circumstances. In my situation, the following article helped me out.


Failure | Reasonable Faith
 
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Andrew77

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Andrew A lot of us indulge in self loathing. I've heard pastors say things like 'it's the enemy accusing and abusing us, trying to keep us small so we won't be good witnesses. ' I could be driving down the road enjoying the scenery and some memory of some stupid thing I said or did when I was 9 years old surfaces up and sucker punches me. It's exhausting.

Yeah, I think we all have those "why did I say that" moments.

But I really don't hate myself so much. I am, what I am.

It's more like... why bother keeping this going? For what? What good thing is going to happen, when nothing good has happened for the 41 years of my life?

I'm working hard.... so that I can keep working hard.... and just continue working hard.... so I can grow old and die after decades of working hard.

Why? For what?

If I hate anything, it's life in general.
 
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thecolorsblend

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So I put my resume out, and got offered a job standing on my feet 8 hours straight, picking up 50 lbs boxes, for $11/hours. That's what I'm offered after months of looking. 20 years of experience. 41 years old. A pay cut, and miserable working conditions.
Missed this part the first time around. Reminded me of something I saw on Facebook ages ago.

BoomerJobOffer02.png


It's a sad reality, unfortunately.
 
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StevenBelievin

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But seriously, you do have value. You have experience doing all sorts of things. It is normally when someone is at their wits end that God steps in and something unexpected happens. The bible says "as a man believes in his heart, so he is". If you believe your worthless and have no value, then that is what you project to others. It turns into a self fulfilling prophecy so to speak. You need to take a step back and just breath. You are worth so much to God that He allowed His Son to be beaten, whipped, torn to shreds and nailed to a cross in order to save you. To save you not just from Hell, but to save you from the world and even to save you from your own incorrect thoughts and beliefs about yourself.

This is who you are..

I am complete in Him Who is the head over all rule and authority—of every angelic and earthly power (Colossians 2:10).

I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5).

I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).

I am far from oppression, and will not live in fear (Isaiah 54:14).

I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (1 John 5:18).

I am holy and without blame before Him in love (Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16).

I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16; Philippians 2:5).

I have the peace of God that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

The Spirit of God, who is greater than the enemy in the world, lives in me (1 John 4:4).

I have received abundant grace and the gift of righteousness and reign in life through Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17).

I have received the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my heart enlightened, so that I know the hope of having life in Christ (Ephesians 1:17-18).

I have received the power of the Holy Spirit and He can do miraculous things through me.I have authority and power over the enemy in this world (Mark 16:17-18; Luke 10:17-19).

I am renewed in the knowledge of God and no longer want to live in my old ways or nature before I accepted Christ (Colossians 3:9-10).

I am merciful, I do not judge others, and I forgive quickly. As I do this by God’s grace, He blesses my life (Luke 6:36-38).

God supplies all of my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

In all circumstances I live by faith in God and extinguish all the flaming darts (attacks) of the enemy (Ephesians 6:16).

I can do whatever I need to do in life through Christ Jesus who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).

I am chosen by God who called me out of the darkness of sin and into the light and life of Christ so I can proclaim the excellence and greatness of who He is (1 Peter 2:9).

I am born again—spiritually transformed, renewed and set apart for God’s purpose—through the living and everlasting word of God (1 Peter 1:23).

I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ to do good works that He has prepared for me to do (Ephesians 2:10).

I am a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

In Christ, I am dead to sin—my relationship to it is broken—and alive to God—living in unbroken fellowship with Him (Romans 6:11).

The light of God’s truth has shone in my heart and given me knowledge of salvation through Christ (2 Corinthians 4:6).

As I hear God’s Word, I do what it says and I am blessed in my actions (James 1:22, 25).

I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17). I am more than a conqueror through Him who loves me (Romans 8:37).

I overcome the enemy of my soul by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).

I have everything I need to live a godly life and am equipped to live in His divine nature (2 Peter 1:3-4).

I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20). I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (1 Peter 2:9).

I am the righteousness of God—I have right standing with Him—in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21).

My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit; I belong to Him (1 Corinthians 6:19).

I am the head and not the tail, and I only go up and not down in life as I trust and obey God (Deuteronomy 28:13).

I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14).

I am chosen by God, forgiven and justified through Christ. I have a compassionate heart, kindness, humility, meekness and patience (Romans 8:33; Colossians 3:12).

I am redeemed—forgiven of all my sins and made clean—through the blood of Christ (Ephesians 1:7).

I have been rescued from the domain and the power of darkness and brought into God’s kingdom (Colossians 1:13).

I am redeemed from the curse of sin, sickness, and poverty (Deuteronomy 28:15-68; Galatians 3:13).

My life is rooted in my faith in Christ and I overflow with thanksgiving for all He has done for me (Colossians 2:7).

I am called to live a holy life by the grace of God and to declare His praise in the world (Psalm 66:8; 2 Timothy 1:9).

I am healed and whole in Jesus (Isaiah 53:5; 1 Peter 2:24).

I am saved by God’s grace, raised up with Christ and seated with Him in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:5-6; Colossians 2:12).

I am greatly loved by God (John 3:16; Ephesians 2:4; Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4).

I am strengthened with all power according to His glorious might (Colossians 1:11).

I humbly submit myself to God, and the devil flees from me because I resist him in the Name of Jesus (James 4:7).

I press on each day to fulfill God’s plan for my life because I live to please Him (Philippians 3:14).

I am not ruled by fear because the Holy Spirit lives in me and gives me His power, love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7).

Christ lives in me, and I live by faith in Him and His love for me (Galatians 2:20).
 
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Chris V++

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Why? For what?

If I hate anything, it's life in general

It's time to make a bucket list and start working toward those goals. When the Day of the Lord comes, and the elements all melt with fervent heat, you'll regret you never made it to Machu Picchu. Life is for experience. I think you need to rent a life affirming movie two, like The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, or Forrest Gump, and get inspired.
 
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Andrew77

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What is this "garbage" job you do? Do you literally work with garbage?

It is mainly the company that I have a problem with. They treat people badly, in my opinion. They have a abusive managers, and they reward the lazy, and punish the hard working. Their health insurance is over $300 a month, and had a $10,000 deductible. Their 401K has only a 1% match. There is no promotions, no raises. Managers never listen to anything you have to say. Not that I expect them to hang on your every word, but even if you find something wrong, they don't care. Unless it comes from someone important, but not from you. You are a dog.

If not for all that, it really isn't a bad job. Like I said before, a person from a poor country would likely be euphoric to have a job like this. Which ironically, most of the people that work there are from other countries.

So my job is "config tech". Which is to say, I install software on computers that the customer wants. So say a big company like Bank Corp, wants 100 computers. But they want those computers with their special programs,and security installed. I do that.

It sounds really technical, but it's not. Any idiot can do it. You open the box, put the computer on the table, plug it in, turn it on and hit F12. You boot to the network, and it installs the software automatically. Then you power it down, and shove it back in the box.

That's my job, for 8 hours. Open, bench, boot F12, wait until it's done, power down, box up, ship. I have trained people who can't speak English, to do this job. Honestly, a monkey can almost do this job.

It used to be a little better in the past, because you could have your cell phone, or an Ipod and listen to music or something. Now it's just a grind. 8 hours of continuous boredom. They said the cell phones were a security risk, and headphone were distracting. So now everyone works in near silence.

And add to that, the fact I was recently demoted. Endless joy I tell you! :)

The only American people at this job, are passing through. This is the job you get while you finish your degree, or are looking for the real job. Had a guy there 23 years old, signed on to a software company for $90,000 to start. He was just there until that job started. That's my life. Watching people half my age, go get good jobs, while I am stuck in the black hole of this job.
 
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johnlxyz

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This has been an interesting discussion about about being stuck in a dead-end job and kind of having a dead-end church life.

Part of the problem with church relations is having a poor man’s type job. Being in the lower class (and a minority) in a middle class church, without church friends, is one of the main reasons I haven’t gone to church for a long time.

I found a lot more friends playing racketball at the Oakland and San Jose, CA YMCA’s than I did at church. Also at athletic clubs playing RB in the Portland area, since moving up here for a low-paying computer programming job.

I’m retired now, but with my lack of skills, the Lord somehow made a way for me to get a longterm, minimum wage programming job in Portland for 25 years.

Jesus said, “seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and its righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

On the surface, I was very lucky, especially considering satan has tried to “sift [me] as wheat” for a long time. (Luke 22:31)
 
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Andrew77

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But seriously, you do have value. You have experience doing all sorts of things. It is normally when someone is at their wits end that God steps in and something unexpected happens. The bible says "as a man believes in his heart, so he is". If you believe your worthless and have no value, then that is what you project to others. It turns into a self fulfilling prophecy so to speak. You need to take a step back and just breath. You are worth so much to God that He allowed His Son to be beaten, whipped, torn to shreds and nailed to a cross in order to save you. To save you not just from Hell, but to save you from the world and even to save you from your own incorrect thoughts and beliefs about yourself.

Yeah, and I used to think that. I used to believe that this experience would have some value. And I believed that something good would happen eventually. Right? I had hope. There would be something good at this end of this.

That was in my teens, and then my twenties, and then my thirties.

I'm 42 in a week, and I just got demoted, and my resume is getting me job offers for less money.

I do believe that there is hope in Heaven. Jesus did not die for nothing.

But... it will take a stronger man than me to believe there is hope for anything good coming in this world. I've lost it. I just don't have it anymore.
 
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Chris V++

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Watching people half my age, go get good jobs, while I am stuck in the black hole of this job.

Seems to me if you had a few Microsoft certifications you could easily jump ship. The 'open, bench, boot f12' routine could be spun into something sounding more like troubleshooting and customizing to the clients needs and specifications /testing and reporting was involved.
 
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Andrew77

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Might wanna leave this part off the resume..

No joke. I don't have my CDL anymore anyway. I'm not getting a driving job any time soon. If ever again. Long story, involves FBI, and expunged records.

Fits in the rest of my history, doesn't it?
 
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Andrew77

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Seems to me if you had a few Microsoft certifications you could easily jump ship. The 'open, bench, boot f12' routine could be spun into something sounding more like troubleshooting and customizing to the clients needs and specifications /testing and reporting was involved.

I'm not really good at trouble shooting. Basically if it doesn't work, I give it to someone who knows how to work on computers.

I worked at a company that did IT support years ago, and they laid me off because I wasn't really able to help fix anyone's problems.

And I'm not actually doing the customizing either. I have no idea how to make an image, or customize software. No clue whatsoever.

Someone else makes the images. I just install them. Which again, is just hitting F12, and clicking the 'go' button.
 
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Andrew77

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I'm in a similar place as you albeit I'm employed. I have a BA and completed most of a masters in counseling psychology (and a little more in Seminary), but was not able to finish my masters due to tanking in a statistics class! But the end result is the same as far as "close but no cigar" which often is about the same as not even being close. I am working security and intend to give driving an Uber and Lift a try the next time I have a work site close down.

As hard as it is, and the temptation to be pessimistic I think we need to encourage ourselves in the faith as best we can. Every once in a while, in my circumstances it seems I can see the hand of God at work and that gives me hope.




Jokes aside I did see a great sermon on the benefits of having these experiences. Even with the best planning people often cannot escape these situations and often they can be part of God's plan. But coming though them does give you away to minister to other people you meet who have similar circumstances. In my situation, the following article helped me out.


Failure | Reasonable Faith

Fascinating read. Like many other such stories, the one thing in common, is that each time they learned from their failures, and succeeded after that.

In his case, he failed his doctorate, but then he want back and got it.

That happy ending has never happened for me. Never.

When I failed out of college, I went back. I worked harder. I stayed at school for hours long into the night. And I failed out again. Then I went back a third time, and worked even more hours, and came in on the weekends and worked. And failed out again.

Same with my job. I worked 12 hour shifts. Worked over time whenever asked. Did whatever was required to get the job done. And the result was being demoted.

Working harder, working more, learning from mistakes, never giving up .... has resulted in nothing but 20 plus years of misery and failure.

When does this 'learning from your mistakes' ever have a good result? For everyone else I see clearly it does have a good result. Just not me it would seem.
 
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StevenBelievin

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Dude, just hang on. Do you have any computer certifications? You don't need a degree for every job. I got a MCSE back in 2000. It opened the door for much more advanced computer stuff. I'm sorry to say that I am that guy who makes 90k for doing not a whole lot but you could do the same thing. You need a few certifications to get ahead. I would suggest getting some Microsoft certs to advance your career.

Do a web search for "testking" for Microsoft certifications.. Study up and go in and get some certs. They have Cisco material as well.
 
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Chris35

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All these things your experiencing, are from a world full of sin, a world that puts money above God and people. The world in a sense judges a person's worth on the amount of money they can make. In essence It is people going against God's word, that makes you feel this way.

Bitterness, and hatred, comes from unforgivness. I get the feeling your carrying it around and have been a long time. If so ask God to give you the strength to let it go and forgive them.

The good news is, you dont have to be like them. You don't have to hurt others in the same way, or live by the same values they do. We look to the furture kingdom of God. In the end this world will perish, but the treasures God hss for you will not.

On one side, the world will not truly change untill the return of Jesus. If Jesus were to return early, well then all those who could of been saved in the future wouldnt have the chance to do so. In that sense, it isnt in vain. God is not wasting that time.
 
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trophy33

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I can't think of anything that would make life happier. Why? What makes your life happier?
Knowing God, spirituality, philosophy, Christians, animals (cats, dogs...), nature, hiking... I am sure you will find something you like. You can move to another city or state or country, do some change....

I have he highest salary I have ever had right now, but, surprisingly, I was much happier when I was poor and concentrating on other things...
 
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anna ~ grace

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When you spend all weekend, just dreading going to work. You hate your job, but can't find another, because you are worthless.

I've put out my resume, but the only offers are worse jobs, for lower pay. Why would I do that? So instead I stay at this place that treats me like I am a dog, because.... I finally realized... I am a dog. I have no skills, failed out of college, no abilities, nothing.

I actually am a dog. 41 years old, and no one wants me. But it's my fault they don't want me. Every time I tried to get a degree, or anything, I failed. So it's not their fault, it's my fault. I simply have no value to offer. I can't program, can't do mechanical work, can't manage people, can't do anything.

So I put my resume out, and got offered a job standing on my feet 8 hours straight, picking up 50 lbs boxes, for $11/hours. That's what I'm offered after months of looking. 20 years of experience. 41 years old. A pay cut, and miserable working conditions.

This really is it. This is the end of my story. I stay here at this crap job, with a garbage company, dreading every day of my life... until I get to the end of my life.

Really?

I hate asking 'why' because I know it's a waste of time question that never gets answered.

Yet I still can't help but wonder.... why did G-d make such a worthless human being like me? For what? Stay poor and die? I can't help anyone, not even myself. So why am I here? Just to make rich CEOs wealthy I suppose.

Reminds me of a joke I once saw "Perhaps the purpose of your life is to serve of a warning to others."
Andrew, you're not worthless.

I hear you. My own job is menial and physically exhausting. But. I try to make the best of it. I try.

I try to use my work time to pray, internally. And try to treat people decently. And offer it up, albeit imperfectly and with grumbling, as a part of following Christ.

You're not worthless. It is tough, tough, tough to get anything but a menial job anymore. I work with folks who can code. And they're still stocking fruit and sweeping the floor. It's tough.

Do the best you can, friend. Your value is not determined by what you do for a living, but how you do it. Some of the greatest souls have had tiny jobs. You can love and follow Christ through what you do. And love people, too. In little ways. But still.
 
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