When you seek Him with your whole heart, you will have no time to worry about what another is doing....and you will find Him....And you will have everything you desire...I am actively seeking Him through this whole thing, but I cannot say the say the same thing about her. She is twisting scripture, denying God's will and using everything she can to justify just walking out on the marriage without even trying reconciliation.
But what I can't stand is that she's accusing me (and seems to be 110% convinced) of having a physical affair with multiple women during our time together.
I have tried. My suspicions are even greater than before, but legally my hands are tied.
I asked her straight up recently whether or not she really believes I have been with another woman, and she said yes. She then said all I say is just words, but she won't let me prove it.
Just keep your side steady. When she sends the horrible texts just reply to her that you love her and that you want to stay married to her. Never return her horribleness .... stay steady in your pursuit.Up and down. More down than up, really. We had a really good, deep conversation recently, but it was followed by a horrible, inflammatory text from her blaming me again.
Thank you for this, Swan. I have turned things completely over to God as I know that I have no control over the situation, and as much as I feel I can fix things, I can't. Only God can. I am over the moon that she is spending time in prayer and in the Word, but she blatantly told me that she wants to find herself and from there decide if she still wants to be married. It sounds more like something you'd do in Yoga or with a guru than you would with God.
She seems to think that God's will is for her to walk away from the marriage, and is completely focused on that.
On a lighthearted note (judging by your faith being "atheist"), you have said a lot of what my Pastor has said to me, along with friends and family who initially believed that she was not capable of cheating.
I completely understand where you are coming from. I know that I planted the seed that may have become something it was never supposed to be. I will take my licks for that, and in some way I have paid the price.
BUT, and it is a big but, I have not done anything close to what she has done, both physically and emotionally, with others. But what I can't stand is that she's accusing me (and seems to be 110% convinced) of having a physical affair with multiple women during our time together. If it was true, I would hold my hand up, admit the transgressions, and allow her the chance to walk away from the marriage. But it's not true, and that's what really messes with my head in this situation.
She has already made me out to be the bad guy, and I'm almost convinced that I will never get a confession from her, let alone live to see her tell her friends and family what she is guilty of.
Is there any possibility of contacting the guy she was sexting? If he has a wife or gf....he may be willing to admit what he did to keep this quiet on his end. If you can get him to admit to the affair....well, then she won't have much choice but to admit to it as well.