Dear friends,
This should maybe be posted in the prayer requests section so forgive me for posting here, I'm sure you won't mind.
Andrea and I are really struggling. Although she has registered here, she's kind of not the person to check forums so she will not see this.
Also excuse me if I post things that are strange to the Orthodox view, but I know from experience that you are the most loving group here, if I post these things on the "correct" forums I might get torn to shreds. So please pray as you feel it is right to do so - I feel safe sharing these things with you -
Andrea - her health is really bad. The cancer is gone, but Arthritis and Fibromyalgia are huge problems. She can hardly walk now at 50 years of age. She is in constant pain from head to foot - a baby Christian who cannot claim all the promises of God. She needs something from God. She has no life - 2-3 hours of seeing the grandkids and she is in bed for 2-3 days.
It's not right and it's not fair.
I've lived like the devil for most of my life and got away with everything. Taken drugs, drink, 50+ partners and nothing. Yet Andrea has had 2 partners, her first husband and me, never smoked, never drank yet suffers like this.
Me - my work is hell. I've been in my new job 70 days now, and it's been constant abuse. I've had 4 claims of sexual harassment from a bitter man-hating feminist. As a Project Manager I've been repeatedly told to f**k off and other words from employees when I have asked "how is your work going?". A director told me over a month ago to "get the f**k out of the company" and abused me in the middle of the office. I am being nailed to the cross on a daily basis as I am accountable for the project, yet I'm treated worse than a cleaning lady. On Monday things got even worse - I was threatened by a colleague - he waved a screwdriver in my face and then smashed it into the desk twice. The police are now involved, and I am off on 2 weeks work related stress and medication. Great - but I have 1 weeks pay - so I'll be down $1500 for the second week.
The cancer already had us almost bankrupt financially now this.
I want to believe God works everything for our good. I can't see it.
Friday nights I get wrecked on beer....it's the only time I feel I can cope. God seems so far away. I get very down into a spiral...if I was on my own I'd not be here. I know I want to follow God but there is so much darkness inside me. We need miracles. We need health, a decent job, hell some money to pay the bills.
I need a revelation that God loves me. My daily perception - He isn't the prodigal father at all...he hates me terribly.
Then the grandchildren :
One is autistic
One is getting deaf
Theo was one last month - he's getting tested for epilepsy today
It's all going so pear shaped. Where is there any relief or help? Where is the balm from Gilead?
Don't give a s**t about myself. I want healing for Andrea. I want relief for her. The kids need God to break the curses that are on their lives.
Prayers appreciated - thanks my friends.
Dave
This should maybe be posted in the prayer requests section so forgive me for posting here, I'm sure you won't mind.
Andrea and I are really struggling. Although she has registered here, she's kind of not the person to check forums so she will not see this.
Also excuse me if I post things that are strange to the Orthodox view, but I know from experience that you are the most loving group here, if I post these things on the "correct" forums I might get torn to shreds. So please pray as you feel it is right to do so - I feel safe sharing these things with you -
Andrea - her health is really bad. The cancer is gone, but Arthritis and Fibromyalgia are huge problems. She can hardly walk now at 50 years of age. She is in constant pain from head to foot - a baby Christian who cannot claim all the promises of God. She needs something from God. She has no life - 2-3 hours of seeing the grandkids and she is in bed for 2-3 days.
It's not right and it's not fair.
I've lived like the devil for most of my life and got away with everything. Taken drugs, drink, 50+ partners and nothing. Yet Andrea has had 2 partners, her first husband and me, never smoked, never drank yet suffers like this.
Me - my work is hell. I've been in my new job 70 days now, and it's been constant abuse. I've had 4 claims of sexual harassment from a bitter man-hating feminist. As a Project Manager I've been repeatedly told to f**k off and other words from employees when I have asked "how is your work going?". A director told me over a month ago to "get the f**k out of the company" and abused me in the middle of the office. I am being nailed to the cross on a daily basis as I am accountable for the project, yet I'm treated worse than a cleaning lady. On Monday things got even worse - I was threatened by a colleague - he waved a screwdriver in my face and then smashed it into the desk twice. The police are now involved, and I am off on 2 weeks work related stress and medication. Great - but I have 1 weeks pay - so I'll be down $1500 for the second week.
The cancer already had us almost bankrupt financially now this.
I want to believe God works everything for our good. I can't see it.
Friday nights I get wrecked on beer....it's the only time I feel I can cope. God seems so far away. I get very down into a spiral...if I was on my own I'd not be here. I know I want to follow God but there is so much darkness inside me. We need miracles. We need health, a decent job, hell some money to pay the bills.
I need a revelation that God loves me. My daily perception - He isn't the prodigal father at all...he hates me terribly.
Then the grandchildren :
One is autistic
One is getting deaf
Theo was one last month - he's getting tested for epilepsy today
It's all going so pear shaped. Where is there any relief or help? Where is the balm from Gilead?
Don't give a s**t about myself. I want healing for Andrea. I want relief for her. The kids need God to break the curses that are on their lives.
Prayers appreciated - thanks my friends.
Dave