I guess I'm one of the "retards" you disdain, then. I take the Genesis narratives as literal as the Gospel narratives. I've taught it to many kids, ages 12-17. They absolutely eat it up. That's my experience, anyway.
James 3:1-2.
When
you have taught them, what do they then
know?
(1) A short time ago, (6000 years or so, but this is not in the text and is your own idea), God made a man called Adam from mud.
(2) God performed an operation on Adam while he was asleep, in order to make him a wife, Eve.
(3) Eve was conned into eating fruit from a tree her husband was told not to eat of by God.
(4) Eve then gave some of the fruit to Adam who also ate some of it, this resulted in death coming into the world.
All very good, as far as it goes, but how much useful information have they actually obtained from all this which will give them insight into their own psychological/spiritual makeup as human beings and their relationship to their creator and The Christ of God, their savior?
Giving them 'historical facts' which may be neither 'facts', nor 'history', but metaphor and parable describing the undescribable, enlightening through mythic narrative and story, you have rendered the text of little value and of little use to them in how they are to live effectively for God, except to have given them some possibly false historical data of no use to them other than to satify their curiosity as to where they think mankind came from, and what went wrong, (in your estimation), a mere 6000 years or so ago.
What you are doing is equivalent to teaching that
Aesops fables or
The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe are both 'historically accurate and factual' and ignoring the message behind both forms of alegorical narratives.
The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe was a great
story, but Lions, witches and wardrobes were
not what it was
ABOUT. Aesops fables are not written in order to convince us that animals can talk. They are to give us alegorical insight into human nature.
By rendering Genesis down to merely and only a strictly
historical literary category, you have stripped it of most of its real meaning and taught them nothing but how
not to read and understand biblical parables and metaphores. Worse still you have taught them that they are forbidden by God to use their own powers of reasoning and must meekly accept whatever they are told by the literal interpreters of a Holy Book. You have made of yourselves a priesthood who decide who and who does not meet your criteria for the salvation God has won for us.
.